"I didn't even do anything! I didn't even touch you or—are you that well trained?"
"Yes."
"So you're like a dog, and I'm the spray bottle?!"
"Yes… Woof!"
- The sad part is that I'm pretty sure that the guy next to me really is that terrified of me. We're friends… I think, but he's still a little scared of me. Because of my creepy smiles and terrifying "flirts." Maybe.
o.o.o.o.o
"Just kick in the door, un."
"I'm not kicking in the door."
"Just kick it in!"
"No, Kakuzu will f***king yell at me about it!"
(Tobi swirled in with the hostage group, took one look, sighed, and left again.)
"I'll just get Danna to fix it, un."
(Neji stumbled to the side, braced himself against a wall, and was promptly sick, and quite loudly at that.)
"Deidara, I'm not kicking in the d*mn door."
(TenTen patted his back awkwardly as Sai stared in curiosity, and Shika-chan covered her overly sensitive nose to the smell of vomit.)
"It's a door, un. It's not going to hurt you if you kick it."
(Sai tilted his head. "Perhaps he is nauseous due to the teleportation. A variant of seasickness?")
"Dei, I love you and all, but I'm not kicking in the door."
("Shut up, Sai." TenTen and Shika-chan admonished him simultaneously, one in an almost matronly tone, and the other rather exasperated.)
"But it would be funny!"
("This is going to be troublesome to clean up…" Shika-chan glared at Neji's vomit. Not even at Neji, but at the vomit itself.)
(It was evil vomit.)
"I'm not ki—"
"Would you two just shut up already?"
Deidara and Hidan paused in their argument and turned to look at Sasori. Deidara tilted her head to the side. "Whaddaya want, un?"
Sasori motioned at the door. "I'd like to enter the base. Don't keep me waiting."
Deidara blinked for a second, and then turned back to Hidan. "Just kick in the door, un."
There was a soft noise, followed by several loud thumps, as Tobi swirled in with the 'minions,' the final group to arrive.
The 'hostages' had been staying quiet and unmoving under Kakuzu's glare. Given just how disturbing Kakuzu was, this was completely warranted.
"Please, un~?" Deidara wheedled, hands clasped under her chin, eyes wide and watery.
Tobi came up to Sasori and tapped the Hiruko puppet he was hiding in on the shoulder. "Should I ask?"
"…No."
"Fine." Hidan finally broke. "I'll do it."
"Yes!" Deidara squealed, and then turned to look at him again. "And you'll—"
"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that part too."
"I love you~!" Deidara giggled and hugged him, and then stepped back and gestured to the door. "It's all yours, un."
Hidan sighed and walked up to the door. He leaned back, raising one foot up in a rather high chamber… and kicked the door down, just as he'd promised.
He strode in, threw his head back and his arms into the air. "I'M BACK, B****ES!"
There was silence for several seconds, broken by Zetsu, who was, along with Kisame, the only one in the entry hall. "D*mn it. There goes the peace and quiet."
"Oh, f*** you." Hidan muttered and then turned to Deidara, crossing his arms. "There, I did it. Happy?"
Deidara nodded, grinning widely. "Very."
"Deidara!"
The girl in question blinked and turned around, squealing. "Konan-nee!"
She dashed forward, being pulled into a hug… and then subsequently bonked over the head. "What were you thinking, Deidara?"
"Wha—?"
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Konan had her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. The bump under her dress was barely discernible, but no one really paid attention to that in favor of stepping back and keeping an eye on her expression. "Zetsu told me about your C0 stunt seconds after it happened. Do you know how much you worried me and everyone here when you used that technique? You could have died Deidara, and by your own hand, at that!"
Deidara blinked at the uncharacteristic outburst from Konan. "Nee-chan, I—"
"That's true, actually." Sasori said this while climbing out of his Hiruko puppet, garnering looks of shock from the non-Akatsuki present. "Loathe as I am to admit, your suicidal attack was not very healthy for the minds of anyone here, and with the… delicate constitutions of so many members, particularly at the time, the stress wasn't appreciated. We…" Sasori seemed to struggle with himself to force out the next line. "We care about you, Deidara, and no one wanted to hear what Zetsu and Tobi told us."
"I knew what I was doing, un." Deidara muttered. "I knew I'd survive, somehow. There was a point to it, un. Besides, we're shinobi! Death is a part of the job, un, not something to be afraid of! It's a constant risk, so—"
Konan crossed her arms under her bust, which was now slightly larger than it had been, courtesy of the pregnancy hormones coursing through her body. "But not by suicide technique, Deidara. I know that you're fully capable of handling yourself, and I know that death is unavoidable in this career, but that's not the point here. The point is that, with your mental state, none of us are ever sure if you're going to choose to avoid it when you can. There's always a constant risk with you regarding that, and with your recent actions, it's only gotten worse, because the problem is now further into the open and clearly worse than we had previously thought."
Deidara stood stock still, hands fisted at her sides. Hidan stood behind her, but hung back and refrained from interfering. This was something that needed to be dealt with now, before the feelings had a chance to fester and be squirreled away, the parties involved misunderstanding both themselves and one another.
"I-I didn't m-mean to m-make anyone…" Tears were gathering at the corner of Deidara's eyes, and her arms had come up to grab at her midsection, hugging herself, almost of their own accord.
Konan's face softened, and she reached forward to pull Deidara into a hug. She held the blonde girl's head to her chest, running a hand soothingly down her hair. "We're concerned Deidara, and you have to keep in mind that your actions affect other people as well. But don't… don't cry, alright? None of us want you to cry, Deidara; that's not what I was going for. Just… just don't scare us like that again."
Deidara didn't answer, just clung to Konan and refused to let go.
Suigetsu sidled up to Obito, muttering out of the corner of his mouth, "So… is this normal?"
"Konan acting as a mother or sister figure to Deidara?" The masked man shrugged. "More or less. Konan tends to act rather maternal towards the younger members, and some of the older ones as well, when she thinks they need someone like that in their lives. In this case, she more or less representing most of the Akatsuki's feelings on these matters. The three people closest to Deidara other than her are Sasori, Hidan, and myself, but she's the best choice despite that. Hidan couldn't pull off being the responsible authority figure, and there are similar issues with me. Sasori could, but his ability to emote is… stunted, for lack of a better term."
Suigetsu nodded and shuffled back over to the rest of the 'kids,' presumably to share the information. Obito didn't really care to check. He was slightly more interested in noting that Sasori had actually broken off from the group to slip down a hallway. Obito presumed that the puppeteer would be back soon, but if he wasn't… well, Obito wouldn't really care unless Deidara took offense, really, and that was because Deidara was one of the few people Obito bothered to worry about.
A small gray bundle of fur suddenly streaked out from one of the hallways branching off from the entry point, and launched itself up to latch onto Deidara's outer skirts. Deidara pulled away from Konan slightly to look down, and grinned, however watery said grin may have been, at what she saw. She quickly reached down and scooped up the creature. "Maia-chan!"
The cat in question mewled and then began to purr as Deidara hugged her close, rubbing her own tanned cheek against the smaller, furry face. "I missed you, un~!"
Deidara continued in that vein for about fifteen seconds, and then paused as an idea came to her. She turned to Shika-chan, a mischievous smile on her face. "Oh, Nara~!"
Shika-chan froze and then slowly began to back away, hands waving in front of her chest. "No, no, no, thank you. Cats are—"
"Let me guess, troublesome?" Karin interrupted, smirk ever-present.
Shika-chan shot her a look. "Yes, very. Anyone from Konoha would know about Tora, and that—"
"Shut up."
Heads turned towards Sasuke. Suigetsu was the first to ask what was up with the interruption. "Oi, what was that for?"
Sasuke shot him a dirty look, and then turned to the hostages. "Shall we agree to never mention that beast here?"
There was a slight pause, as none of them really wanted to agree with him, but neither did they want to talk about the Madame Shimiji's cat. Then, ever so hesitantly, they actually went ahead and agreed.
"…Okay…" Deidara coughed loudly to regain their attention. "So, Nara, un."
She didn't bother continuing, just dropped Maia lightly to the floor, letting the cat, now nearly an adult, face Shika-chan.
The result ended up as Shika-chan awkwardly standing in place as Maia purred and wound around her ankles.
"Found you, finally."
Deidara blinked and turned around, smiling when she saw the new arrival. "Kisame!"
The blue man let out a slight 'ooph' as Deidara collided with him and gave him a hug. "Well, that's a nice hello."
"M-hm!" Deidara giggled and stepped back. "Oh! I found someone who's taller than you, un!"
Kisame chuckled, a strange noise. "Of all the things… alright, is it one of your little groupies?"
Sai leaned over to Neji, hand over mouth. "Hyuuga, what is a 'groupie?'"
Neji shook his head. "I'll explain later."
"Eh? I don't know what you're talking about, un." Deidara tossed her hair, nose up in the air, biting her lip to hold back a grin.
Kisame laughed loudly at that, a full belly laugh, and the two continued to talk about… well, more or less just nonsense, really.
This was a novel situation for the minions and hostages, or as Kisame had called them, for the groupies. Thus far, Deidara had always been the one to take control of every situation. Deidara had, until now, only even been mature in front of them. She was older than them, and had attempted to keep control, and even care for, them as her sense of responsibility and guilt took hold of her. Seeing her now, they were taken aback at how childish and free she was around the people that she considered authority figures and… family.
That's what it was. Akatsuki was strange and probably at least a little evil (none of the minions were really sure), but overall… they cared for each other. None of the members had anyone else, and somehow, this motley crew of social misfits, of dangerous criminals and powerful shinobi, these villains… had found family in one another.
No members of the strange little audience were foolish enough to believe that they were seeing a common sight.
"Deidara." Sasori stood at the entrance of one of the hallways, and motioned for the girl to come closer.
Deidara did as requested, and turned her back to the rest of the room to hide the conversation, keeping her voice low. "Yeah?"
"Are you sure that now is a good time?" Sasori looked her in the eye. "I know you want this over with as soon as possible, but it's late and we all only just got out of the fight."
Deidara shook her head. "Yeah, but I said 'as soon as possible' after we got here for a reason, un. I doubt waiting a night would be good on either end of the situation, un."
Sasori kept her fixed to the spot with a measured stare, gauging some unknown quantity. Finally, he nodded and turned. "He's right here, so whenever you're ready…"
Deidara smiled and nodded. "A minute, tops, un. Just let me talk to little Red-Eyes, un, m'kay?"
She turned and bounced over to Sasuke, slinging an arm around his shoulders and ignoring the suddenly stiffer set to them. "Hey, Uchiha, mind if I take you away for a second, un?"
Sasuke sent her a sidelong glare. "And just what do you want with me?"
"Mm… no, I'm pretty sure that you'll be pretty interested in this, un." She sent him a cheery smile that was, beneath it all, terrifying gleeful in impending destruction.
Sasuke frowned. "You still haven't told me what this is." He had his suspicions, but…
A cough interrupted the conversation, and Sasuke spun around, knowing who this must be, given what had just been said.
"Hello, otouto."
"Aniki."
And for the first time in many years, Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke looked each other in the eyes with no lies and no hatred between them.
o.o.o.o.o
A/N: Cliffhanger! Yes, yes, I know. I'm evil. Whatever. You'll get the continuation next week anyway, so no complaining.
So… fifty chapters! Wow. Never really thought I'd get this far, but… wow.
Also, go look up "Sai and Shikacat" on dA, by Equestrian-Equine. It's… it's just adorable. Really. I wanna hug 'em both, and Eques, because they're both so cute.
Lastly, there's a poll up on my profile, and it's a pretty important one. I'm sure you'll all be interested in it, if you haven't seen it already.
Ja ne,
Phoenix
