"Why is Tony's body at here at NCIS? You didn't have to preform an autopsy since he died under a physicians care." Breena asked.

"We didn't do an autopsy but Tony wanted his memorial service here. So as soon as his body was preped me and Ducky collected it from the funeral home and brought it here for safe keeping." Jimmy explained.

"Oh okay." Breena replied.


It had been six days since Tony had died and now the remaining members of the little NCIS family along with a few other close friends had gathered at HQ for his memorial service. Gibbs stood with his hands jammed in the pockets of his suit pants. For a long time he stood outside and just stared the building he had not stepped foot in since the day after Tony was diagnosed with cancer. Finally he took a deep breath and walked inside. Jane followed close behind. Her kids were out with friends and the twins were with Jack. McGee and Abby walked in behind him leaning on each other for support. Ducky was next carrying himself with poise dispite the grief in his eyes. The Palmers walked in next Jimmy walked slowly with tears in his eyes while Breena pushed Ben's wheelchair. Jack was second to last with the twins he had silent tears in his eyes, Liz looked sad maybe a litte scared but JL was hysterical in Jack's arms, Ziva was last she moved like a zombie. The service was fairly short Chaplain Burke gave a quick sermon and led a couple of prayers. After that everybody spoke a few words and then they went home. His funeral was the next afternoon at two at St. Mary's catholic church.


The next day was double hard for Gibbs since JL had his first appointment with Dr. Andrews since Tony's death and Tony's funeral was at two. He left Liz with Jack and took JL for his appointment. The sessions usually left and hour so it would be over at noon leaving him and two hours between the appointment and Tony's funeral. He was relieved that JL had finally started to eat the day before. Until then he had survived only on liquids. The nourished him but he was begianing to get weak. Finally at dinner time he had eaten the sandwich that Jack had prepared for him.

"First off I am sorry about Tony's death. I know how close he was to both of you." Dr. Andrews replied.

"Thank you." Gibbs replied.

"Tony" JL whimpered.

"How is he doing with the loss?" Dr. Andrews asked Gibbs.

"Not well I'm afraid. He refused to eat until yesterday. My friend Dr. Mallard had to give him special smoothies to get him nutrients." Gibbs replied.

"Did you take him to the hospital?" Dr. Andrews asked.

"No Dr, Mallard said there was nothing they could really do, Unless he became to malnourished then they could put him on an IV drip but that's about it." Gibbs explained,

"Any other issues I should be aware of?" Dr. Andrews asked.

"His night terrors are back." Gibbs replied.

"How bad?" Dr. Andrews asked.

"At least twice a night. His little heart just races. I keep expecting him to have a heart attack or something." Gibbs replied.

"When was his last night terror before Tony's death?" Dr. Andrews asked.

"One week which was there frequency between the start of our sessions and Tony's illness being discovered." Gibbs replied.

"NO! I WANT TO BE WITH TONY!" JL cried before he jumped out of Gibbs's arms and started kicking and screaming on the floor.


Gibbs scooped JL back up and tried his best to calm him down. This only made the heartbreak he was feeling worse. Tony would have had him calmed down with in seconds but he could not seem to get the little boy to relax. He just kept kicking and screaming for Tony and about how he wanted to be with him.

"JL you can't leave I'd miss you way to much." Gibbs said in an attempt to calm the little boy.

"NO! TONY! WANT TONY" JL screamed his little face starting to turn blue.


"May I speak to you privatly Jethro?" Dr. Andrews asked once Gibbs had finally got JL calmed down.

"Sure" Gibbs replied.

"Listen I know how much JL means to you and I know how hard you have been trying to get him rehabilitated." Dr. Andrews replied.

"Your point is?" Gibbs asked.

"Considering the amount of trauma he has endured in his lifetime before losing Tony I am afraid he may not be able to come back from that." Dr. Andrews replied.

"What do I do?" Gibbs asked.

"There's not really much you can do." Dr. Andrews replied.

"So what happens?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm afraid that Jackson may be better off being placed in a home for emotionally damaged children. There is a really nice one about an hour from here. So you could visit him and he could come for visits on weekends and holidays." Dr. Andrews explained handing Gibbs a pamphlet.

"I may have to send him away?" Gibbs asked.

"I have tried to prevent this from being a possibilty but with losing Tony I don't know. Trust me this is last ditch effort." Dr. Andrews replied.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Gibbs asked.

"Just if he shows major improvement and soon." Dr. Andrews replied.

"I...I have to get ready for Tony's funeral." Gibbs replied nervously.


Tony's funeral was packed. There were people up in the chior loft, standing along the walls and sitting in folding chairs in the Parish Hall. Gibbs wished that he could say that he was surprised that Tony's "father" had not shown up. Senior did however send a flower arrangement just nice enough to make it look like he cared and wished he could be there. It was up to Gibbs to deliver the eulogy.


"I first met Anthony DiNozzo in Baltimore when he was a detective with the police department there and NCIS had a joint case with them. I don't think he liked me very much at first but I was impressed with him right away. I was felt a father's pride when one day Tony showed up to NCIS saying he wanted to join us. He almost instantly became the best agent I had ever seen. Two years later he was ready for his own Probie Timothy McGee who was the definition of a Probie but thanks to Tony he is an amazing Lead Agent to be proud of. At the time of his death Ziva was seven weeks pregnant with his child. She is eight weeks today and completely lost. Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy all miss him too for different reasons. Three months prior to Tony's death I was awarded custody of my cousin's five year old twins. Elizabeth "Liz" and Jackson Liam "JL". JL is heartbroken by the loss of his Tony. He impacted so many lives. Jared please remember this is not your fault.


"Leory is Tony's father in poor health?" Jack asked.

"No" Gibbs replied.

"Then why did he just send flowers why isn't he here?" Jack asked.

"Because he cared more about closing a deal then his own son." Gibbs replied.

"Poor Tony he didn't deserve that." Jack replied.

"I know dad what I don't know is how Tony could be the spawn of somebody so horrible." Gibbs replied.


"This was the last time we will see Tony's face." McGee said somberly.

"We will still see his face all the time there are pictures of him everywhere?" Abby asked.

"No I mean in person." McGee replied.

"This is the most you have ever been impacted by the death of a co-worker." Abby replied.

"Tony was my partner and my brother." McGee replied.

"He was my brother too Timmy." Abby replied.


"You should have stayed here to help me raise our baby. I don't think I can do this on my own. The team says they will help but it won't be the same as having you there. You were going to be such a great father miles aheard of Eli and Senior. Ziva whispered in Tony's ear before placing one last kiss on his lips and running her hand across the coffin. She turned to leave knowing she couldn't handle the service.


"Where is Breena?" Ducky asked.

"She is home with Ben." Jimmy replied.

"Is everything alright with him?" Ducky asked.

"Yeah everything is fine we just kept him up a little too late last night." Jimmy replied.

"I look forward to getting to spend more time with the little guy." Ducky replied.

"Why did Tony have to die? He never hurt anyone, he's not going to get to meet any of our children. It's just not fair. He saves Jared's life and feels a little bad then boom he has lung cancer! It's just not fair! God I was so busy getting ready for Ben I barely spent time with Tony and now he's gone!" Jimmy cried voice cracking as he spoke until finally he was sobbing into Ducky's arms.


"Jethro is everything okay?" Vance asked.

"No no it's not." Gibbs replied.

"Thanks for mentioning that this isn't Jared's fault." Vance replied.

"Tony insisted I make that clear." Gibbs replied.

"So what's wrong?" Vance asked.

"I may lose JL." Gibbs replied.

"Why?" Vance asked.

"He's been through too much trauma and now he may have to go to a home for damaged children." Gibbs replied.

"Oh Jethro I'm so sorry." Vance replied.

"Why can't things just get easier for him?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know but, I have something that may help a little." Vance replied.

"What?" Gibbs asked.

"Tony's badge. I know it helps the kids whose parents were killed in the line of duty. I don't see why it couldn't help JL deal with Tony dying from cancer. Just having it to hold and feel close to him." Vance replied.

"Thanks Leon." Gibbs replied.


A/N: New chapter Monday. Thanks for reading and please review.