Mirai No Kodomo
XXXIX: Big Brother (Hidemura Tarou)
Ryougi came out to his Dads a few weeks ago, he confirmed it by giving me a hug in front of them (even though that's not unusual…To me, at least, Takehiro says for Ryougi that's huge) and saying, "I love you, Tarou-chan" in front of them (that's new). I was bright red but I managed to say, "I love you, too, Ryougi-chan." …Barely. But...
...Those are my three favorite words to say and hear: I love you. I just...I never thought I'd be with someone, I'd be alone for my entire life just to keep my secret from Dad and Kensuke...But, Ryougi?
...Ryougi makes me so happy. Happy enough to where I'm willing to take the risk. And I'm this happy for one reason...
...Because I love you, Ryougi-chan.
Takato-san told me we made a cute couple…I-I blushed even more. I think Ryougi thinks I'm "cuter" when I blush…Ha ha ha! I'm glad I can make him happy with that since…It's really easy.
I also had my first double date and…Wow…That night was great! I was a little embarrassed about that pin, but Takehiro and Ryougi insisted I wear it where it could be seen, I originally had it under my jacket like them. They said, "Uncle Kenta won't mind, he'll even notice it and tell you that!" They were right and…I-I liked his MarineAngemon cufflinks, ha ha ha! And he and Hirokazu-san were great as that opening act! Ryougi and I tried to sing it on the way back home with help from Hirokazu-san and Kenta-san…They said we did a good job. Kyoko and Takehiro tried, too, but Takehiro didn't know the lyrics too well…I didn't either but Ryougi helped.
I was…a little upset by how my Dad got so worried I was hanging out with "Ryougi's faggy Uncle," Gods, I couldn't believe he actually said that! Hirokazu-san managed to convince him he was straight but I couldn't apologize enough, even though Hirokazu-san told me it was okay he's "used to it." …That's not okay, Hirokazu-san… I'm so sorry. I-I'm getting…really, really tired of my Dad and Kensuke's jokes and attitude…
…I-I just don't know how much more of it I can take. Especially when they do it in front of Ryougi. I know Ryougi plays along but it's not right…They shouldn't do it! And a lot of times, they make fun of his brother! And his dads! All because I let Takehiro's name slip, they always start it with, "We were a little worried, we thought you were the little brother of that gay kid with two dads at Kensuke's school…"
…I'm such an idiot…
At least Ryougi's family support us. Entirely, they're all…Well, I guess because of Jenrya-san and Takato-san, they're really open to gay couples and friends…But I've never met a family like theirs. I love hanging out with them, even though I'm worried they're getting tired of me sometimes…
…Takehiro says Jenrya-san and Takato-san really like me, especially since I'm, apparently, Liangji's first "real friend." In the sense, Liangji's other friends are all people he knows through his Dads (Akio and Kae, Kae calls me "Gameboy" for some reason) or Takehiro (Kyoko). I'm the first person he met and made friends with on his own…
…I can relate, ever since I realized I was gay I've been less and less social in real life, I was so afraid of people finding out somehow. I was so insecure about it until I found some help sites online that made me confident enough to be "out" online, mostly on shounen-ai fansites…Even though I had a couple close calls with Kensuke and Dad walking into my room while I was reading a fic, I never look at art until after they go to sleep or I'm home alone! And I mean that for the non-graphic stuff!
If either of them ever saw me looking at a picture of Taiki Kudou and Zenjirou Tsurugi making out or of Takuya and Kouji having their first kiss…I'd be in so deep, Kensuke would freak out, I just know it.
Ryougi and I had a date today, sort of. Our "date" was at the bakery, Takehiro and Takato-san made us lunch to show that we really could be a couple there. No hiding anything…I love that so much. Not as much as Ryougi-chan, though. He told me how Akio made him confident…
…I can't believe he's gay! I-I mean…Seriously? AKIO? Th-Then again…If he liked Takehiro, um, well... They said "Akio doesn't confess, he tells you that you love him." That makes sense but Akio-san's really nice once you get to know him, a little weird but nice.
Takato-san was really surprised that we still haven't had our first kiss, though. Ryougi and I both want to take things very slow, we prefer things that way…Go at our own pace, the first kiss will happen someday…
…And when it does, I'll be so happy.I love Ryougi-chan so much, I-I really do. He's…Yeah, I-I know he is…Ryougi's my first love. I mean, I've had crushes before, I've thought guys in my class were cute and wish I could go out with them but…
…I've never felt the way for them that I do for Ryougi-chan. Especially after all he's done for me since we met. I wish, so badly, that I could somehow do the same or more…
…I wonder if he'd like it if I learned Chinese like Takato-san did for Jenrya-san, if he'd see it as a sign of how much I love him like Jenrya-san does for Takato-san?
I walk down the hall of my apartment building, going to my door. It's unlocked, Kensuke must be home. I'll go to my room and look up some Chinese lessons on Vidtube or something. Ryougi and Takehiro taught me a little bit but…I want to learn a lot and surprise him.
I open the door and take my shoes off after I close it behind me.
"Tarou. We need to talk." Kensuke says, stepping into the living room. He has a really serious look on his face, he's adjusting his glasses, too, like he does whenever he's nervous.
"Um, can it wait, Niisan? I need to-"
"No," Kensuke shakes his had. "It can't, 'cause I do not want Dad home to hear any of this, okay? It's…Look, I-I need to talk to you, okay? Please, Tarou."
"Um…Okay…" I go to the couch across from where Kensuke is standing, he sits down next to me and puts a hand on shoulder. "…Kensuke?"
"Listen, you have to promise…You won't lie, okay? Even though you'll…really want to, promise me you won't lie. This…stays between us, okay?" …Kensuke what are you-…Oh no…
No, no, no…Please, don't…Don't let this go where…I never want it to go.
"…Kensuke-"
"Promise," Kensuke says in a serious tone. He…Gods, he looks scared. Please, Gods, not this…Anything but this…
"…Only if you promise this really will…stay between us…" I whisper. …Gods, please, no…How did he find out…?
"I promise," Kensuke says with a nod.
"Then I promise I'll be…honest…"
"I know the Matsuda Bakery is owned by two gay guys. Takehiro is the kid with two Dads from my school…And his last name isn't Katou. I bought Guilmon bread today, I-I saw it for sale in the window. I wanted to compare it to the stuff you bring since it looked 'just like' the 'Katou Bakery's' bread, I didn't know it was that bakery until I saw Takehiro walk by in the hall behind the cash register…You and Ryougi were with him." …No…
"I-I see…" I whisper, this…is not good.
"Tarou, answer honestly…Are you…" He pauses, he takes a deep breath and lowers his head. "Are you gay?"
I let out a long sigh, hanging my head, too, and closing my eyes tightly as a tear escapes from one. I takes a long time but I finally manage to whisper, "Yes."
I wait. I wait for and expect Kensuke to shout in disgust. I expect him to call me a fag. To say he lied and he's going to tell Dad or to tell me won't tell Dad in exchange for something. To say he'll do whatever it takes to fix me, that I can still be "normal." To say-
"I'm sorry, Tarou. I'm really sorry." I feel Kensuke wrap his arms around me…
…I was not expecting this.
Ever.
I open my eyes, Kensuke is hugging me, tightly. "For…what?" Sorry because I'm gay? For having to live with a fag? Because you're not going to speak to me any more?
"For…joining in Dad's jokes in front of you, I know you hated them. That's what got me wondering, you hated them even more after you met Ryougi… …You, um, 'like' him, don't you?"
"Yeah," I whisper, slowly nodding. "We've been…together…for a while." I start shaking as I say that. I can't control it. Kensuke hugs me tighter, maybe to hold me still or to reassure me…I don't know.
"Is he, um…Is he good looking? I mean by…gay standards, I-I wouldn't know." Huh? Kensuke did you really ask that?
"Ve-Very," I nod. "Kensuke…What's going on?"
"Remember last night? When Dad told that joke at dinner? He was facing me the whole time and…I saw you, you looked freakin' sad, Tarou…I'm sorry I joined in and thought like he does, okay?"
"Wa-Wait…You…You're saying you don't mind…?"
"I-I won't lie, it sorta freaks me out but…I-I want to get used to it and learn where you're coming from since…Tarou, you're my little brother. I shouldn't…I shouldn't be upset by this."
"What…made you decide to support me instead of trying to make me change or something like…Dad would?" I whisper those last two words, quickly adding, "I-I mean, thank you, Kensuke, thank you so much for accepting me but…It's just…" I always thought that was how Kensuke would take this. Like Dad would.
"…I know, Tarou. It's 'cause, well…Dad always says…gays choose to be 'perverted freaks' and stuff, right? It's what they want but…Tarou, why would you choose this? Why would you choose to be something Dad and I loved to make fun of…Something Dad hates so much, something you'd get so much crap for if people ever found out...I know there's no way in hell you would choose any of that. When I realized it wasn't a choice, I… I looked up some sites, too…They explained some of what you might be going through…I'm really sorry, Tarou."
"Kensuke, don't apologize, you don't have to…" I give Kensuke another hug, saying, "Thank you for accepting me, Niisan…That…Gods, that means so much! I-I never wanted to lose you or Dad over this…Thank you, Niisan! Thank you!" I-I'm starting to cry, this is so far from the reaction I thought he would have. So far from it!
"So, um…Have you two…kissed or anything yet?" Kensuke asks, a little nervously.
"No, we…We're taking things slowly," I say. "Ryougi just…came out to his Dads."
"Wa-Wait…He has to come out to them? Even his brother? They're all…I mean…"
"Er…Ta-Takehiro's straight," I reply, letting go of Kensuke to see the look on his face, I sort of have to. He's giving me a long and confused stare. "Re-Really! I've met his girlfriend. Her name's Kyoko."
"…For real?"
I-I can't help but laugh at that. "He's, um, he's also Takato-san's real son. The guy who sold you the bread."
"Huh?"
"The woman who called that time, Juri Katou, she's his Mom. Ryougi's, too, but Ryougi was adopted," I explain. "She and Takato-san went to a clinic that, um, got her pregnant with his 'sample,' you know?"
"Wo-Wow…They do that? I-I mean…For…Gay couples and all. I-I know fertility clinics exist but—" The front door opens.
"I'm home!" Crap! Dad!
Kensuke ad I both sit sorta casually. Dad walks into the living room. "…What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" Kensuke asks.
"Tarou's not on his computer like he normally is," Dad says, taking off his coat and adjusting his glasses.
"Kensuke needed some help with his history homework," I say. "Sanguo period—"
"San-what period?" Dad asks.
I just realized I called 'Sangoku' it's name in Chinese…Ha ha, Ryougi and Takehiro like to speak Chinese when they play Sangoku Musou, especially with their Uncle. I'm usually completely lost but they translate for me. "Three Kingdoms China," I say.
"…Tarou, when do you speak Chinese?" Dad asks.
"Ryougi taught me a little. He's Chinese," I reply.
"Oh, yeah, how's that kid doing? That reminds me, I wanna go to his Mom and Dad's bakery sometime to get the Water Angel bread or whatever it's called. Great stuff."
"It's on…Fujiyama Street, I think," Kensuke lies. That just proved it…He does support me… "Katou Bakers. But, um, I got some Guilmon bread there today. It's in the kitchen, I thought it and that MarineAngemon stuff would make a good dinner and dessert." Thank you…So much, Niisan.
"Thanks," Dad nods. "I'll go turn on the oven to warm it up…That sounds really good. Tell Ryougi, his Mom and Dad are damned good bakers."
"I will," I say with a nod.
Dad goes into the kitchen, saying, "By the way, Ryougi's Chinese? I always thought that was a weird name…"
"Yeah, um, in Chinese it's…Liang…Ji…" I say Ryougi's name slowly. I know I messed up the pronunciation somehow. I still call him Ryougi because of that, I want to be able to say his name right.
"Which of his parents is Chinese? Juri and Takato are Japanese names…"
"Ryougi was adopted," I say. "They wanted…his brother to have a little brother but his Mom, um, couldn't handle having another kid, you know?"
"Oh, yeah, I get it…So, Takehiro's their real son? I mean, if he had two dads like that other Takehiro, he'd be adopted, too." You'd be surprised, Dad…
"Yeah, Takato-san and Juri-san's son," I nod. "…Kensuke, um…Do you want to meet them sometime?" I ask.
Kensuke gives me a surprised look but nods. "Su-Sure…When?"
"I-I'll ask Ryougi at school tomorrow," I say. "We'll call you if it's tomorrow, even."
"All right, thanks, Tarou."
Dad comes out of the kitchen when a beer, opening it. "Heh, good…Make friends with them, Kensuke. I can't get enough of that bread."
Kensuke laughs, nodding, "I will, Dad."
Ryougi gives me a shocked look as we sit in our secret (and drug free…GodsI can't believe I got searched like that!) spot. "Kensuke…knows?"
"He…He supports me, Ryougi-chan," I say. "I-I couldn't believe it but…When he realized it wasn't a choice, he said it was because he knew I wouldn't choose this. He actually looked up some sites and…He even guessed I was with you. Would you…mind if he came over? He wants to 'understand,' you know?"
"He…He really supports you? He's not going to find out for sure and tell your Dad or anything?"
I shake my head. "We spoke after Dad fell asleep, he promised: He's serious and doesn't want to be like Dad anymore. Kensuke really is nice, just…"
"…I know," Ryougi-chan nods. "Call him, I'm sure Tou-chan and Tou-san won't mind. Just, um, he knows Takehiro is straight, right?"
"As hard as it is for him to believe it…" I trail off. Ryougi actually laughs, I do, too. "He even covered for me when Dad said he wanted to find the bakery…He gave him the wrong street and name. He's serious."
Ryougi nods. "If you say so."
I give Ryougi-chan a hug. "Thank you, Ryougi-chan…Sorry to ask but…"
"If he wants to support you, trust me, I want him to, well, 'understand,' too. I mean…I-I've been afraid of what would happen if your family somehow found out."
"Me, too…This gives me some hope, at least, for the day Dad finds out. Kensuke's really serious, but he says it still freaks him out a little."
"I'll give Takehiro a warning."
"Thanks. I'll text him right now…" I pull out my cell phone, writing up a quick text to Kensuke:
Meet us at Kamedama after school, Ryougi-chan says it's okay to come over.
Thanks again, Niisan.
-Tarou
"I'm really glad to hear he's behind you, Tarou-chan," Ryougi says, he's typing a text up, too, probably for Takehiro.
We sit and eat our lunches our phones go off within about a minute of each other…
Met with Takehiro. He'll be with me when we meet.
-Kensuke
"…Is yours from Takehiro?" I ask, turning to Ryougi. He's…He's trying hard not to laugh as he passes me his phone. I read Takehiro's message…
Ran into Kensuke in the halls with Kyoko, had a huge laugh when he asked if I was really straight. Kyoko said: No, he's my gay boyfriend and I'm his lesbian girlfriend.
He believed her.
-Takehiro
PS: Tell Tarou his brother is really cute for me.
I burst out laughing with Ryougi…I-I can't believe Takehiro sometimes. He's…ambiguously straight, I guess. Nothing gay bothers him (except Bara, but…That freaks Kenta-san AND AKIO out!).
"Your brother is amazing, Ryougi-chan…" I laugh.
"H-He…He really is…I'm sure he's helping Kensuke 'understand' as we speak, too."
"I have a feeling…Ha ha ha!"
Something tells me this is…going to be interesting…
Ori's Notes:
And we begin our final act: Tarou's Saga.
More Liangji\Tarou was one of the winners for the poll, so I decided to end the fic with this.
Regarding Tarou's brother's name: Since he's homophobic, I wanted to give him a special name so…
…Let's just say "Daiken" isn't a real name.
Oh, and if you don't know what Bara is: DO NOT LOOK IT UP! It's a (SUPER) hardcore yaoi subgenre with musclebound, hairy men and…It freaks me out! So think about that!
Actually, on that note: You know the first "gay seppuku" I committed back in Kako Mo Yadda Yadda Yadda? Twerp-chan's censored portion of my notes was a link to a Bara doujin that Twerp-chan was stupid enough to click on.
I even put a message at the top of my next email to him before it was posted, somethning to the extent of: "Taiki, remove that link if you didn't already and just act freaked out when you censor it. And if you did click it: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
He stillhas nightmares, he says. Hehehe! I love tormenting Twerp-chan!
Taiki's Notes:
I just want to say this in regards to that Bara link he sent me back in Kako Mo Etc: Ori. Is. A. BASTARD!
And you do not want to know what his second gay seppuku was! That time, I got an actual description that I just DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER! I will only tell you this: Ori somehow managed to top the Bara picture. In. Every. Bleedin'. Way.
I don't think that action is even possible, let alone legal in most states!
Anyway, I am glad to see Tarou's brother supports him and wants to "understand" his brother's orientation and friends. But I know Ori: This is not going to be that easy for Tarou.
-Taiki Matsuki
EDIT: Thank you, Riku Murasaki, for pointing out that rather, um, unfortunately hysterical typo on my part before Ori did (if he found it first, God, I would not live it down). I would like to make it clear, Ori's gay seppuku is something I do NOT want to remember.
Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go crawl in a corner and feel like an idiot for a bit.
-Taiki Matsuki
