A/N: I don't own this. We all know who does.
Thanks to Pamela Lorraine (drivingedward) for prereading this. :)
Thanks to MariahajilE for keeping me in line and fixing my brain spewings. :)
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Chapter 49
Monday
Morning dawned, but there was no brightness to be seen—not outside nor in my head or heart. The gray, drizzly weather had turned a little cooler, which meant the kids would be inside most of the day. I woke up at my regular time and hoped that maybe—just maybe—Edward would stop by with Emily, but that didn't happen. If anyone ever asked if I might've stared out the window, hoping to see his truck drive past my house, I would've denied it. But it would have been a lie, because I sat in the window seat for nearly two hours wishing for just a peek at him. Not driving past my house meant he'd either taken the long way around and out of the subdivision where we lived or he'd stayed at Emmett's house in Port Angeles. I wasn't sure which one I would've preferred.
The kids were whiny and grumpy as soon as they found out Emily wouldn't be around all week, and by noon, Collin was asking non-stop about the fish fry and when I thought Edward would want to have him come over. I ran out of things to say, so I bribed him and Mckenna into watching the Disney Channel all morning while they ate dry cereal and apple slices. When Kenna's nap time finally came, Collin watched a movie as I showered and got dressed. I knew we couldn't all wear pajamas for the whole day and would need to get dressed at some point, though, with the mood I was in, I almost didn't care. If I hadn't had two children to take care of, I probably would've wallowed in my depression and greasy hair for the entire week. And I wouldn't have felt bad about it at all.
I spent the rest of the evening in the kitchen, making dinner and washing dishes before deciding to bake cookies and let the kids frost them. It was a time-consuming activity, but it got them thinking about things other than Emily and the fish fry. It also kept me busy so I couldn't constantly check my phone for texts or missed calls. We made up a few plates of cookies and took them to the neighbors once the drizzly rain let up. We even made up a plate for Jasper and Alice, as well as Aro and Heidi. Since the weather forecast was predicting more gloomy weather the next day, I thought an outing would be a good boredom reliever. The kids were sick of being cooped up in the house, and I was fast approaching that point, too. Driving to Port Angeles to see Jasper and Alice for a few hours would be good for all of us, and I knew the kids were anxious to see their grandparents, too.
By the time I crawled into bed that night, I was exhausted. Maybe not physically, but I was mentally and emotionally drained beyond belief. I hadn't felt that way since right after Alec died, and the gravity of that realization wasn't lost on me. I checked my phone for about the 300th time that day, but there was still nothing from Edward. With a heavy heart and a deep sigh, I opened the text thread with his name on it.
I missed you today. So much. We made cookies. The kids wanted to bring you some, but I didn't know if you were home or not. I'm sorry, Edward. I can't even begin to tell you how much. Whatever I did, I didn't mean to do it. I know you need time, but I'm here, whenever you want me.
Turning off my phone, I plugged it into the charger and laid my head on the pillow. Tomorrow would be better. I was sure of it. It had to be. I didn't think I could handle too many more days like today.
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