Chapter 52: The Knowledge of the Butcher
Jessica blinked, and saw that she was in the Alliance Academy, then, she saw someone step forward. She had crimson red hair that went down to her elbows. She turned around, and had sapphire blue eyes that showed great sorrow. The Commander said, "Why am I here, thorian?"
The thorian appeared as Legion and said, "This is the first time you experienced the touch of the Butcher. This way you can see from outside the symptoms you have experienced as it tries to take you."
Jessica nodded, and observed the scene that was setting out before her. Her younger self was walking through the hallway and a girl with fairly short blonde hair walked up and said, "Hey, looks like you finally got away from the cripple. Want to have some 'fun'?"
The younger Shepard looked at the woman and said, "Not interested."
"Oh come on. Afraid your little cripple will get hurt while you're enjoying yourself?"
"No, I'm just not interested."
"Oh come on, I know you aren't straight, Jessica." the girl said, but was slapped by the woman who would one day save the galaxy.
Then, she said, "You have to earn the right to use my first name, until that happens you can call me Shepard."
The girl rubbed her cheek and said, "I didn't think you'd be like people from the early twentieth century."
"I'm not interested in you. So why don't you leave me alone?"
"You should really relax. And, it would be a great way to relax." The girl suggestively said.
Then, the girl was slammed into the wall by Jessica and she said, "I'm not fucking interested. And, if you don't let the topic drop, I will fling you out of the airlock during ship training."
The girl looked freaked out, and said, "Alright. Crazy bitch." before walking away.
The fully grown Shepard said, "That was the Butcher's influence?"
"Yes, it starts out like that, but if it is not contained quickly, it grows to the point where you have to go to extremes to make it containable. This is one of those extremes."
"Alright, is there anything else coming up in this bit?"
"Yes, more influence by the Butcher." the thorian replied.
The two turned to watch the unfolding scene, as another girl showed up. She had short blue hair, and said, "Hey, you want to go to my quarters and spend the night having fun?"
"No, go away."
"Nah, I'd rather not." The girl said, placing a hand on the younger Jessica's ass. Then, the girl was slammed into a wall, hit with an overload, and Jessica grabbed the girl and threw her out of a nearby window. As the girl fell out of the window, the young Jessica jumped out the window and started beating the poor girl. Then, an instructor grabbed Jessica and pulled her away.
The fully grown version of Jessica watched, and noticed something about the way she looked. There was a faint aura of red dark energy around her as she beat the girl in the past.
The thorian said, "You noticed the red aura. That is good. It is the sign that the Butcher is using its power to control others than the one possessing it. It uses that ability to hold its victims still while it slowly and painfully kills them."
Jessica nodded, and observed as her younger self relaxed and the red aura vanished. She then asked, "Why did I need to see this?"
"You needed to learn how it controls those it possesses. To make so that it cannot control you, you had to see it in action."
"Got it, what else do I need to see?"
"There is much more that you have to see. In order to save yourself from the Butcher, you have to truly understand it. Since it is a corruption of your darker side, you must learn to understand that, in order to change it to something closer to what it originally was.'
"Got it. What's next?"
"A more recent event of its control over you."
Jessica nodded, and the scene changed to the second mission Jessica had been on after entering the Alliance marines. She stared at what was happening. There was a squad of turian marines who had gone rogue and were hitting supply routes for human colonies in Citadel space. Captain Anderson said, "Alright marines. We just got a report that a group of turian vets from the First Contact War who have been trying to limit the extent which humanity can expend. They're trying to make so that we've only got colonies immediately through the Charon relay, but not through any others. At least that's what the reports would indicate from the few who managed to escape from these bastards."
Jessica, a lieutenant at the time, asked, "How many are there?"
"At least six. We're going to have to take this cautiously if we want to prevent losses. You, Alenko, and Talia will be taking the starboard side of their ship. Meanwhile, Johnson, Williamson, and I will take the port side. We'll meet up in the ship's bridge, and make sure that they don't get to attack any more supply ships. If we don't do this right, there's a good chance that the colony won't be able to sustain itself until the end of the year. If anyone makes a mistake, this entire thing could go to shit. So, be sure to do everything you were taught about this kind of mission in the Academy."
The team nodded, and split up into the two smaller teams that would be hitting the rebels' ship. Time seemed to accelerate, and Jessica watched beside the thorian. As the team fought the rebels, the fighting was tough and the team was slow in making progress. Then, while a turian biotic pinned the team behind a wall, the younger Jessica pulled out her omni-tool and out came three attack drones that fired two rockets each. This managed to stun the biotic and the others managed to fire on the turians and as the rounds flew into the turians, their bodies were torn up quite a bit, and then the team moved through the base.
-=0=-
Miranda looked at the plant, and wondered what it was showing Jessica. However, while she was thinking, a creeper walked up to her from behind, and asked, "What is bothering you?"
Instinct kicked in for the former Cerberus Operative and she flared her biotics and lifted the creature into the air. While the creature frantically struggled against the biotic force Miranda used her powers to slam it into the ground. The creature exploded, and the other creatures turned to look at Miranda. She replied, "Sorry, instinct."
They nodded and said, "We should have been more cautious."
Miranda looked around and asked, "What are you telling her?"
"It is not a thing that we could use words to describe properly. It is knowledge that one must see to truly acquire."
Samara asked, "What were you before you became a thorian?"
"I was always this way."
"How long have you been here?"
"Approximately 1.1 billion years."
"You've managed to survive a long time. How long after you were created were the reapers?"
"I will not share that knowledge. I have already told you too much."
Samara nodded, and walked towards the edge of the area. She looked at the chasm, at the bottom of which there were several corpses, wearing Cerberus colors. Kasumi looked at it too and said, "Well, we can be sure that this thing doesn't like Cerberus."
"It attempted to steal my knowledge. I had to destroy them."
"How did they get to you?"
"They wore suits to protect them from my spores, and came armed with pistols. They killed many of my children, so I had to destroy them myself."
"You view your thralls as children?"
"It is not something you need to know."
Thane was simply meditating, when a group of mechs walked in, and out came a communication drone. It made a hologram of the Illusive Man and he asked, "Miranda, why are you here?"
"That's none of your business." she replied.
"When you kill my people, take out one of my bases, and start meddling with my Projects, that makes it my business. And do you really think that I couldn't find your sister and give her to your father?"
"What do you want, TIM?"
"First of all, quit calling me that. Second, I want Shepard."
"I'm not going to give you her. You should know better than to think that I would even consider it."
"I thought you were loyal to Cerberus, Miranda."
"I'm loyal to the idea of advancing humanity, but that's not what Cerberus is about anymore."
"Cerberus is still focused on the betterment of our race, but we have to go down darker paths in order to find knowledge that could help our species."
"If you're looking for information, why do you want Jessica?"
"That information is classified. Miranda, know that if you give me Shepard, your father will never see Oriana."
"You think I'd give up Jessica to ensure Oriana's safety? What kind of monster do you think I am?"
"The kind of monster who killed a girl's parents and sent her to Pragia."
"That was on your orders, and I couldn't voice my disagreements with it because I was too new. And, you can ask Operative Demolisher what I thought about that mission."
"Demolisher died during the Battle of the Citadel. She'd been posted on an Alliance vessel that Sovereign destroyed."
Miranda nodded, and said, "You know I won't hand over Jessica, so why don't you leave us alone?"
"I will get Shepard, with or without your consent, Miranda. I just thought you would want to know that you could have your sister safe from your father if you helped me."
"Why are you so determined to get her back? You weren't worried about the risk of losing a four billion credit investment, so it has to be something else? What is it?"
The Illusive Man took a long draw on his cigarette and said, "Shepard is the Catalyst of the perfection of humanity. Locked in her head is information that could give us control of the reapers. With that, there would be no one who could resist the will of humanity."
"We have to destroy the reapers. If we don't, they'll destroy us."
"The reapers are a treasure trove of information, Miranda, do you really want to lose all of that knowledge? The knowledge of a hundred million civilizations that came before ours?"
"If it means saving ours, yes."
"Then I have no choice. I'm sorry, Miranda. I didn't want it to come to this. I hoped that you would see reason."
"What you were suggesting was madness, not reason."
"Just as alien life was called madness for centuries before we discovered the prothean archives on mars." TIM replied as his hologram vanished.
The mechs powered up their weapons and opened fire not on the ground team, but on the thorian. Samara reaved a pair of them, and Miranda threw an arc grenade at them. Thane, meanwhile, fired his sniper rifle at the group of machinery. But, the combined attacks had little effect on the machinery. Meanwhile, the thorian's thralls jumped on them. Miranda looked at it, and Kasumi decloaked and stabbed one of the mechs with an omni-blade. It collapsed, but the others turned and fired on Kasumi taking down her shields. She leapt away, managing to take cover behind a tree. However, the fire from the mechs' weapons were rapidly tearing it apart.
Thane shouted, "Get back, I don't know how powerful this thing is going to be!"
The others didn't even nod, but instead sprinted away from the mechs as the expert assassin threw the grenade. When it reached the mechs, it split into five, and detonated in a storm of electricity, disabling all of the mechs. Thane stumbled backwards, and the others fired on the mechs, quickly eliminating them now that they didn't have shields.
They panted, and Miranda said, "Good thing you had that grenade, Thane."
"Yes, but what did the Illusive Man mean when he said that Shepard was the Catalyst for controlling the reapers?"
"I don't know, but it's clear that he's gone completely insane." Miranda said, looking at the wrecked mechs.
-=0=-
Jessica simply stood still, the Butcher itself had manifested before them. Anderson was trying to pin her to the ground, but her younger self simply threw him off. Then, as she grabbed the turian bandit, it looked like the alien would need a change of pants if he survived. Her eyes were the same, but there was such rage in them that you'd think that he'd killed her entire family. Which he almost had. He'd been involved with the attack on Mindoir. The young Shepard slammed him into the ground and pulled out her shotgun. She fired three rounds from it, and the turian's entire mid-section was turned to a bloody pulp.
The Commander then asked, "It rises up when the painful moments of my past are brought up. But, only if I haven't accepted that it was done."
"Yes, you are a fast learner." the thorian in geth form replied.
Then, the scene changed, and they were on Akuze. She smirked, and said, "Figures that it would be here as well."
"It has always been influencing you. Ever since that day in the Academy when it was woken up by that girl."
"I see." she replied, watching as she was laughing with her squad. One of the guys was talking about how once the mission was over he was going to retire and start a bar on earth. He said that he'd always wanted to do it, but he just didn't have the money. Now that he had spent the last twenty-five years of his life in the military with almost no expenses he'd saved up quite the fortune, and was going to use it to make sure that nay Alliance soldiers on earth had a place they could go to get free food and beer.
The young Jessica, only just promoted to Lieutenant Commander, said, "Yeah right. You wouldn't give anyone a beer for free."
He grinned and said, "Well, I'd be tempted to get a pretty woman like yourself a drink, but I know you aren't interested in anyone. I remember the time Matsuo tried to get you to relax. How far did you throw her?"
"Six meters."
"That's really far to throw someone wearing full body armor. How'd you do it?"
"I don't know, I blacked out just after I threw her."
"You were pretty solid on your feet for someone who was passed out." a girl replied.
"I didn't know that anything happened after I threw her until I was told that she'd had to spend the next three weeks in medical to recover. It had me as shocked as anyone."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have done that. She kept crying for weeks after you did that."
The younger Jessica hung her head and said, "I didn't mean to do it. I don't even remember doing it."
"Yeah, but you beating your old friend Matsuo isn't the weirdest thing, they said that you practically threw Admiral Hackett through the window after he pulled you away from her."
The Commander looked horrified, and asked, "Did I really almost throw Admiral Hackett?"
"Yeah, but he was pretty relaxed about it. Most people would probably have had you dishonorably discharged for it."
Before Jessica could respond, the ground shook, and she a massive thresher maw burst out of the ground. The team opened fire and said, "You have to get the hell out of here, ma'am."
"I'm not leaving you here!" she replied, pulling out her assault rifle and firing on the threshers.
A sergeant said, "You need to leave. Command would be pissed if they lost their latest N7. So, get the hell out of here."
Jessica looked for a moment, then said, "Alright, but you guys better run too."
"We'll do that once you're out of here, ma'am."
She nodded, and sprinted away from the threshers. She sprinted between a pair of the massive creatures, and just before she managed to get over a pile of rock, and to safety, she was hit by acid from two thresher maws. It burned through her armor, and she tried throwing medigel on it, but it didn't have much effect on the wounds. She slowly crawled for a while, before collapsing. What seemed like hours passed, and a group of batarians found her. They grabbed her but before they could take her to their base, the Butcher took over and killed them.
Time seemed to crawl for the N7 marine as she waited for the others to show up. Then, when she was picked up by the Alliance she asked, "What happened to my men?"
Anderson, who had been leading the recovery team, said, "I'm sorry, Jessica, but they didn't make it."
"None of them?"
"You're the sole survivor of this mission." he said, "It looks like you've got your father's luck."
She didn't respond, but instead just sat there and cried. It was like that for a good while, but she finally said, "Everyone who gets close to me ends up dead. First Miri, then Dad, Sarah, and Cynthia, and now my entire team."
Anderson said, "It wasn't your fault, Jessica. You did what you should have in that situation."
"I left them to die!"
"Yes, but you survived. That's what's important. They knew that you'd have a crucial role to play in the future, so they were gave their lives to make sure that the galaxy didn't lose you."
"The first mission I lead ends up a disaster, I'm probably going to get discharged for this."
"This was an event that no one, not even you, could have seen coming." Anderson said.
Meanwhile, the present Commander said, "It's not there at all? Why?"
"It will become clear in a few moments."
"It better." Jessica replied.
-=0=-
Shiala was sitting on the couch in Qael and Rana's apartment. She was clenching her head, and she said, "It's on Illium. The other thorian."
"Why is it affecting you now?" Rana inquired.
"I don't know, but I should leave the planet. But, Zhu's Hope still needs a new contract if it's going to still be a free colony."
Qael said, "The Shadow Broker may know where the thorian is."
"I doubt it. The thorian is a cautious entity. It had to be find by something other than the Shadow Broker. We'll never find..." Shialla began, but collapsed to the ground, writhing in agony. Qael and Rana went to check on her, but then her biotics flared and she sent them flying away. She the said, with a voice far different from her normal one, "I must go to the Old Growth."
"What are you talking about, you don't know where it is!" Qael interjected.
"I can feel its call. I will be able to reach it, but you cannot!"
"Why, Shialla?" Rana asked.
She did not respond, instead she left the room, and headed to a place to get a skycar. However, she was slammed into a wall by Vasir, who said, "You're going to help me, Shialla."
"Never." the possessed asari growled.
"Don't be a fool."
Shialla didn't respond, but instead tackled Vasir, sending them into the railing. The Spectre grunted, and was lifted into the air in a flurry of biotics that were more powerful than she'd seen before. Soon, she was wrapped up in something that could only be described as a cocoon of dark energy. Vasir struggled but Shialla ignored her. She ran to a skycar, and started driving through traffic, desperately trying to get out of it so that she could reach the thorian.
-=0=-
Tali and Lia were standing at the airlock to the Normandy, when Tali got a transmission from Qael. She opened it and asked, "What's the matter?"
Qael replied, "You know Shiala?"
"Yeah, the asari who Saren used to get the Cipher from the thorian on Feros."
"Well, she's gone off to find a thorian that's here on Illium. I don't know why, or what's going on. I figured you would be the best person to contact."
"Well, Shepard's at the thorian currently, along with a four members of the ground team, so she won't be able to do anything stupid."
"Tali, what if she's going there to help the thorian kill them? What if that's why it is calling on her. Demanding that everyone with its spores in them come and protect it!"
"Shepard wasn't interested in killing the thorian, so it couldn't be them."
"Why wasn't she interested in killing it?"
Tali looked uncomfortable, then said, "You can't tell anyone else this, but she's been having a bit of a mental breakdown. Hell, shortly after we took back the Alarei she dumped Miranda."
"I don't need the details, Tali. I just need your help to make sure that we don't lose anyone. Can you tell us where the thorian is?"
"Yes, but I have one condition for telling you."
"What?"
"You take me with you."
"Deal. We can't let Shialla do anything now."
"Alright, come to the Normandy, I'll be ready when you show up."
"Understood, ma'am." he said.
"I'm not your boss, Qael."
"Hey, because of you, my exile was removed."
"You helped us on the Alarei, so it was just to pay you back for saving our lives a couple of times."
He nodded and ended the transmission. Tali and Lia entered the Normandy, and went to the armory. When Tali had finished gearing up, she said to Lia, "Do me a favor and stay on the Normandy while I'm gone. It looks like things are getting serious here."
Lia nodded, and said, "I'll be sure to stay out of danger. I'm not much of a soldier."
Tali laughed, and said, "If you wanted to kill someone, chances are you'd find a way to do it. You may not be trained, but you're smart enough to find a way to get the job done."
Lia said, "I wouldn't be able to bring myself to kill anything."
"And that's one thing I like about you." Tali said as she headed to the airlock. A few minutes later, Qael walked up and said, "We're here, tell us where to go to get to the thorian."
"Let me drive. I'll take you there."
"Got it, ma'am." Qael said.
-=0=-
Jessica stared at what was before her. Torfan, the world where she had destroyed an entire batarian regiment without any help. The one place where she'd taken command from another. Here it was, the place she viewed as her greatest failure. The biggest mistake she had ever made in her life. She closed her eyes, and said, "Where am I?"
"This way." The thorian replied, guiding her to where the battle was. The batarians were all chained, and the Butcher was looking at them with contempt. Then, it pulled out a shotgun and an assault rifle and opened fire on them. It lasted for minutes, just killing the prisoners. Then, at the last one, the Butcher put its weapons away, and stared him in the eye for minutes, but the thorian accelerated it so that it lasted only a few seconds. Then, it grabbed the batarian by its throat and asked, "Who is your leader?"
"Ba-Balak. He gave the order to take your people."
"Good. Where is this Balak?"
"He is on Khar Shan, you will never get to him, human."
"He'll leave Khar Shan eventually. But, it will be too late for you to catch him! The Hegemony will make your people pay for this."
They can try. Maybe they'll succeed. It doesn't matter. You worms will soon all be dead."
"What are you talking about?" the batarian asked.
"Soon the reapers will return, and then the Harvest can begin once again." the Butcher said as she clenched the batarian's throat, strangling the life from him.
Jessica then said, "It has a connection to the reapers?"
"Yes, it does. And, now is the time for the final memory that you must experience. Then, you must free yourself from the Butcher's taint."
"Good." Jessica said, as the scene changed, this time it was the Citadel. Shortly before they went to Chora's Den to find out where Tali was.
The pre-Spectre Jessica walked up to Wrex and asked, "Are you Urdnot Wrex?"
"Yeah, who are you, human?" The krogan warlord asked.
"Commander Shepard, Alliance Marines. I'm going after Fist, and I figured I could use your help. Since you want to kill him too."
"I'll help you kill Fist, but you won't get a cut of the credits."
"I'm not in it for the money. He has information I need in order to prove a Spectre has gone rogue and attacked a human colony."
"That's a pretty serious crime. I'll meet you in Chora's Den."
"We can go there together, Wrex. We may need your help getting in."
The krogan said, "I said I'd meet you there, so that's how we'll be doing it that way, Shepard."
Jessica grabbed him and growled, "Listen, Wrex, I don't have time to argue with you. You'll either go with me to Chora's Den, or you won't get a chance to kill Fist. You'll be left dangling from the front of my ship as a sign to anyone else who would try to do things their own way with me."
The krogan looked surprised, then laughed and said, "I like you human. You've got more nerve than most of your kind."
"Most humans don't have reason to be the way I am." she said, with sadness clear in her eyes.
Wrex just nodded, and followed Shepard through the Citadel to Chora's Den. Before she, Garrus, and Wrex entered the bar she said, "Wrex, you'll take the left side, Garrus, you've got the right. I'll be going down the center."
"That's suicide, Shepard." the turian replied.
"I know."
"Why are you trying to die? You've still got a lot to live for."
Shepard laughed and said, "The only reason for me to live beyond work died years before Mindoir."
The turian asked, "What are you talking about, Shepard?"
"It isn't something you need to know, Garrus."
"If you think that your life isn't worth living, you need to talk to someone."
"There isn't anyone for me to 'talk' with. I have superiors, and subordinates. That's all."
"You weren't like that yesterday, Shepard. What's with you today?"
"It's the anniversary of me losing everything. Twice on this day I lost those closest to me." She growled, and then opened the door. Garrus couldn't continue arguing, because Fist's security had opened fire, and they had to run to cover. Except for Shepard, who simply walked in, firing on the guards. One fell to her attacks before her shields fell, and the armor barely held off the attacks of the various guards.
Wrex saw that Shepard was going to get killed soon, so he got out of cover, biotically charged a guard, and slammed him into the wall. Then, he headbutted another one so hard that the man's neck snapped in two, and a jagged cut was left on his face. Then, he fired on a third with his shotgun.
Garrus, meanwhile, had sniped two of the guards, and when he fired on the third, shouted, "Boom! Headshot!"
Shepard looked at him with a confused look, and then just glanced down at her armor and said, "Garrus, you still have that thing of ghost armor?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I need some new armor. This thing is useless now. The shield generator was hit by one of those assholes."
"I'll get it out." The turian said, pulling out his omnitool, and opened up the storage unit. Out came the armor, and he said, "Here." handing it to the depressed Commander. She quickly stripped down, causing Garrus to just stare at her. Even through the series of scars along her body, she was an attractive member of the human race. She noticed and said, "Quit staring, it's rude."
The turian nodded, and looked away, looking slightly embarrassed. They then went around the circular room to the second hallway, but the scene had ended.
Jessica said, "It was amplifying the pain I felt from the deaths of Miri and the colonists on Mindoir. That day was always hard, but it wasn't as hard as that one. I hadn't just completely shut down before."
"Yes, it was making your sorrow and pain greater, hoping to push you to your end. The reapers see you as a threat, and so they had it try to destroy you through sorrow. It grew stronger as the years went on and you realized that you wouldn't find anyone who you would ever feel anything like what you'd felt for your old lover. The Butcher amplified those feelings, and tried to push you into submission. But, you saw a glimpse of Lawson in the bar as you left. You didn't think anything of it at the time- thought it was just a hallucination-, but subconsciously you knew it was her. That gave you a glimmer of hope, enough to push back the foul influence of the Butcher."
"I don't remember catching a glimpse of her in Chora's Den."
"It was for but a second." The thorian said, and the scene switched to when they were leaving, and sure enough, Shepard caught a glimpse of Miranda leaving the bar. A perplexed look crossed her face, and then she just shook it off and walked out. When they arrived, Miranda had already cloaked, so Shepard didn't see her.
"So, I did see her. Why did I have to see the effects of the Butcher to learn about it? Why couldn't you have just told me?"
"You would have had the information, but you would not truly understand it. The understanding will be key in the next step of freeing you from the Butcher, though it cannot be destroyed."
"Then how can I free myself of it?" Jessica asked, worry clear in her voice.
"You will change it into something that is not a servant of the reapers. You will shatter that part of it, and replace it with something pure. Your memories of the lost. To free yourself from the Butcher, you will have to fight not for yourself, or for your family. You will have to fight for the lost. Those who it can force to do its bidding. Are you ready to tame the Butcher?"
"I've had enough of it. Let's do this thing." Jessica said.
-=0=-
A\N: Chapter 52: The Knowledge of the Butcher is finally complete! And boy was this one hard to write. I had a lot of trouble writing Jessica as someone who was broken down and was suicidal. It took me a few tries to truly get it down. Next chapter, The Taming of the Butcher should be up sometime later this week or early next week. So until next time, thank you for reading, and please leave a review. Those inspire me to write the chapters faster, and the silence from you guys makes me nervous. And, I was really hoping that you guys would point out what I'm doing wrong, or could use improvement. Because I know I'm not as good as is possible. I know that I have not reached Tolkien's level, or Robert Jordan's level. I know that you could say that they were a talent that only appears once every few generations, but I want to be the best that I can possibly be, and your feedback helps me grow as a writer. And, it may sound cocky, but I think that, with your help, I could get to their level. Or at least a hell of a lot closer, so please review so that this stuff can get way better. Until next time, thanks for reading.
