Gossip in Gravity Falls traveled at record speeds when the topic was astounding. With a tiny populace full of nose-butting chatterers, whenever there was something juicy, it got around. The instant people found out where Zander Maximillion was staying, the town knew it by heart in less than a day. By the time the police arrived to the crashed burning bird in the Corduroy Mill, everyone already knew some type of angel had fallen. By the hour Pacifica had returned to her home with a living, fire-breathing dragon, the whole town wanted to see it for themselves as a severely mutated komodo-dragon. While certainly not entirely accurate, the gossip spread fast enough for anyone to rush to the gates of the Northwest Manor and crane their heads through the bars in attempts to see the young teen riding her newly acquainted dragon.

All except a single family who had first-hand witnessed it.

The Pines and their associates had taken a rather lucky pair of weeks since the fourth of July to rejuvenate. Stanley Pines continued his business at scamming and touring, Soos and Yuki continued to improve and re-build the constantly decaying structure, and Wendy Corduroy aided Yuki now in his watch-shifts, as she never slept, which turned out to be a blessing- as Yuki finally caught his first ever sickness.

All while the Twins practiced at their hardest.

Mabel's improvements since her telling of bending fire to her will had taken a sudden stop. The girl, in all her impressive capabilities and feats, suddenly had hit a road block. With Arline painstakingly trying to have her repeat the movement and perform as she did, Mabel was unable to fully replicate her own actions. While not discouraged, it wore her out tremendously.

Dipper on the other hand looked like Wendy felt. He, unlike the others of the Shack, had not stopped and taken a step back since the fourth of July. How could he? He had two very important missions and mysteries that he had to balance next to continuing his training with Mabel and her master.

Stumbling into the interior of the Mystery Manor, Dipper waved a hand to Soos and Yuki at the counter, silently passed his Grunkle Stan, and marched into the living room. Next to the couch had become his newest lair of study. With sweat and dirt from outside lingering on him and smelly as a teenage boy could be, Dipper sat down by the couch.

Grinding his teeth with his eyes closed, he pushed away the small pile of scribbled papers. Dozens of pages of notes he had taken all amounted to nothing. The topic of these papers?

"Wraith, wraith, wraaaiths," Dipper grumbled as he pulled open his journal, so far one of the most trustworthy of sources on all things mysterious.

The past two weeks, Dipper had stayed up tremendously late while studying on the myths and legends of the wraith. Sadly, there was no common text book on the undead, and wraith, as it seemed, were a rare type. So, without a textual reference on how the work and are created, Dipper had to piece together his own manual of Wraiths.

The stories and legends of the horrible creature were so far mostly exaggerated. The tales spoke of beings who lived in mountain caves and forest dwellings, and in the night they could be seen as ghostly humans, roaming the wilds as lost, pained creatures who would rabidly attack on sight. They lost their sense of person along with their colors: skin changing pale and their eyes becoming light blue or steel in color. Wendy thus far had pale skin, but that was always the case. Her green eyes remained the same.

And that was the most frustrating part to all his work and effort. Dipper had no answers not for himself, but for Wendy. The Wendy that trusted his work and opinions. The Wendy that had decided to come back and stay with them. The Wendy he still crushed horrible on.

Maybe curing her would be the bridge between friend and 'more' he needed. Either way, curing Wendy had little to no progress.

Then there was the second task in Dipper's mind- dealing with the enemy.

Graupner Kinley, self-proclaimed Warlock, had become the Twins newest baddie. Unlike previous enemies, he made no attempts to hide his intentions towards the two of them. There was seemingly no other agenda he had. There was no hiding in the town's populace and popularity, nor using official power of government backing to bully them around.

Their enemy and his supposed allies, and unknown partner in crime, had too many times stuck out and taken a swing at the pines. Dipper wanted to know why. What would drive someone to attack not just the twins, but the town, so many times?

Dipper's hands instinctively scratched at where the scar of the cut had once been. Now merely a long thin line across this forearm, Dipper remembered the spell that his blood had been needed for: a kind of detection spell. If he had remembered correctly, it had ended up failing- The Warlock had said something interfered with what he was looking for.

But that was another topic for another debate with Mabel. He was before the six books, pouring over them and pulling out whatever he could to help cure his friend.

Or at least that was the plan. Sadly though, he found his eyes slowly closing.

"Gah," Dipper grumbled and slapped his face gently. "Wake up," he told himself. His eyes remained heavy. "Wake up!" he shouted, and fully slapped himself. "Ow," he whined, rubbing his stinging and now perfectly awake face.

"Dipper?"

He turned and found Mabel walking over. "Hey," he mumbled to her before turning back.

"Eugh, you could take a shower before you sit down for another six hours to read more books," she told him. Dipper grumbled, his shoulders locked up. "C'mon dude. You need a break."

"I do!" he cried out. Looking back to Mabel, he sighed, "Sorry. I didn't mean that at you like that."

"Still no luck?" she asked as she flopped down onto the couch, leaning over the arm to peer at him.

"None," he shook his head, "I've tried reverse-engineering a cause for Wraiths based on story and eye-witness accounts, but too many sources seem contradictory."

"And Wendy still has no idea where the book is?" she asked. "The book used to magic her?"

"No. I looked at the library yesterday... I think someone else has it now," Dipper grumbled.

Mabel grumbled. "Stupid face, huh?" She asked Dipper as she laid her hands under her head, staring down at his note-taking as he began to record a new story.

"Probably. It wouldn't strike me odd for him to grab something like that," he guessed. Glancing behind him, he saw the sister accomplice of his life bruised and worn. "No shower? You could use it yourself."

"Pacifica is using it," Mabel casually said.

"Oh, right," Dipper nodded. He turned away, only to whip back and stare. "Wait, what!?"

"Yeah," Mabel grinned, "she's visiting! She got here just after you and went to practice with my master. Since Yuki is all sniffly, she decided she'd come by and cheer him up."

"Oh. Really?" he asked Mabel, who glared at him. "I mean, it's just a common cold," Dipper shrugged.

"To us. That's his first ever earth-sickness ever!" she told him, "he's worried that his newly adapted body is going to have a hard time not getting all gross and green on us."

The heralding of loud, rapid footsteps made the twins turn. Pacifica landed the step and turned to face the twins. They both gasped and groaned. She was covered in a thick, sticky green and brown substance that looked eerily like snot.

"Normal people keep dry-cleaners in their homes, right?" Pacifica asked hopefully.

"Closest one is in town," Dipper told her.

"Thought so," Pacifica admitted as she dared to inspect the closest splatter on her arm. At it's sight, she cringed and gagged. "I didn't think he had that much space in his body for this," she mentioned.

"His lungs do act ten times stronger than ours do," Dipper reminded her, "that kind of sneezing power would easily clear anything up."

"Don't remind me," Pacifica asked, uncertain to what to do with her arms. "Do I wash this now? How do poor people wash clothes?"

"Taking them off and washing them with soap and water!" Mabel entertained. Pacifica stared at her, and then her clothes. "Not now, silly! You need to disrobe-ify yourself in a bathroom!"

As if on cue, Yuki clambered down the stairs. His eyes were sunken and darkly, hair messier than usual, and his chocolate skin shined with sweat. Dipper slightly regretted mocking him for his inability to cope with the disease- he looked terrible.

"Good day, Mabel, Dibber," he said, his nasals taking up a majority of his voice.

"Not for you," Mabel replied. Yuki grimaced and nodded, and turned to Pacifica.

"I think you may take residence in the badroom. I seek wader," he told her.

"Thanks Yuki," Pacifica grinned and passed him, but not before giving his hair a gentle tussle. Yuki grinned and watched her ascend, his face falling.

"I dink I've upsed her wib my cold," he told the twins quietly.

"Sneezing on her would do that," Dipper mentioned.

"Nah, she's not mad at you! She's great at lying, but only if she's ready to hide her feelings," Mabel explained, "otherwise she's easy to read as a book! Ohh, or a sticker!"

"I do hobe so," Yuki admitted. "I don'd wish to upsed her."

"Speaking of upset," Dipper turned, "how is Grunkle Stan dealing with you as a sick person?"

"Less faborably. I indended to resbond to the job application that Wendy found for me, bud as I am currently incapacidaded, so I will remain in the building."

"Dang straight you are," the rough voice of Grunkle Stan called from behind Yuki. Instantly Yuki sighed and turned halfway, looking to the elderly appearing human. Grunkle Stan held his hands at his hips, scowling at Yuki. "I'm missing my second most trusted employee now due to some dumb cold! You're not going out and doubling the time until you get better, and that's that."

"Bud my incoming can double if-"

"Get better, and I'll let you check these things out, or whatever," Stan said, checking the looks from the twins. They stared at him with expectation- their focus on his words and actions. He sighed, and then lifted his hand- revealing a large tin-can. "And eat this. It'll help."

"Whad is id?" Yuki inquired.

"Chicken noodle soup, and not expired either," Stan told him. "Put in a bowl and heat for like a minute. Maybe two, I don't know. When it's warm, eat it. It'll help."

"Oh, I will do so immediadely," Yuki grinned a sad, watery grin and marched passed Stan.

"Wow, look at you hot-shot," Mabel said to Stan, who turned back to them, "buying non-expired food? Did you have to buy that at the corner store?"

"Or did you steal it, like most good food around here," Dipper added.

"Hey! If I steal, it's from shmucks who already have enough to throw away anyway! Not like I'm reaching into the wallets of the poor here," he scolded them. A commotion across the building built, and Stan sighed. "I'll be in the shop. Probably on tour. Dipper, take a shower or something, would you?"

"I don't stink!" Dipper called after his great uncle.

"You smell like dying possum," Stan called back.

"Haahahahaa," Mabel grinned at Dipper, who had scowled at the comment. "Possum. My brother is relate-able to dead things. Hehehe. And I don't mean anything about Wendy!"

"Shut up!" Dipper hissed at her as she fell back onto the couch, laughing.

"Not to mention having a crush on a dead person!" Mabel grinned.

"Would you-" Dipper stood.

"KIDS!" Grunkle Stan cried out, "Get out here!"

Bereft of his anger towards his sibling, Dipper grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the living room. A few moments later, they joined Grunkle Stan in the gift shop. There was no party of visitors, but instead Wendy, Soos, and Arline with Stan. The twins halted just as Yuki stumbled in, poking his head through the door.

"What's up yall?" Mabel asked.

"Tell 'em," Stan told Arline.

Her looking right to the twins, she said, "there's a traveling salesman in town who says he has the ultimate cure-all."

Dipper's heart felt like it stopped, or at least near leapt out of his chest. "Say that again?" he asked.

"Ultimate cure-all," Arline repeated, "he had a crazy name for it, but I wanted to let everyone know first. I was just passing through town to stop by the post office, and there this guy- small hairy man- was setting up shop. People were starting to gather too!"

"Sounds pretty coincidental," Dipper pointed out.

"Exactly," Arline said to him.

"Wait, what?" Stan looked between them, "isn't this about the awesome medicine or whatever he has, and not some conspiracy?"

"Yeah, what gives Dipping dot?" Mabel asked Dipper. Wendy chuckled and Arline grinned as Dipper scowled at her.

"It just seems off. I don't remember there ever being lots of traveling salesmen in Gravity Falls before, and this would bring a lot of people out into a crowd if everyone falls for the gimmick."

"And what if it's not a gimmick?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah dude, she could be right," Soos shrugged, "maybe he's some crazy scientist man who likes curing people of their diseases because it gives him a feel like he controls his destiny, but ultimately will do whatever it takes to remain in control over others as the drug has mind-controlling properties." The others stared at Soos. "Nah, that just sounds like the beginning of 'Galaxy Trek Three'."

"Either way," Arline continued, "this is something we should check out, you know?"

"I'm down," Dipper shrugged. Wendy glanced to him and he shook his head. "I'm not getting much else done here."

"Well, I'm base guardsmen," Wendy proclaimed, and marched back to her constant seat by the cashier, "go get 'em guys."

"Yessir!" Mabel saluted. Grunkle Stan eyed his niece, shaking his head.

"Why can't I get that kind of responses?" he asked.

"Because you're smellier and less pretty than Wendy," Mabel cheerfully told him. Pushing past from Mabel, Pacifica marched towards the door, her hair and clothing wet while holding a drenched towel. "Pacifica?"

"Well? If this guy really does have a cure-all, I'm grabbing it first. If not, you dorks take care of 'em," she explained. "Yuki, just eat your soup. I'll be back."

"I can manage that," Yuki nodded.

With a caravan of two cars divided amongst six people, the trek into the center of Gravity falls was a quick, tense one. The entire time driving, those inside kept their eyes out in the woods, looking for signs of activity that would lead them to think of an incoming attack. To their relief and surprise, nothing came of their venture. It almost scared Dipper as he eventually parked in town: where was Graupner then if he wasn't looking to get at him and Mabel?

It wouldn't be something he would find the answer to immediately. A commotion sounded nearby, and the cluster of six walked together.

"So, if this guy is with Warlock?" Soos asked worriedly.

"We take him down regardless who's watching," Stan said candidly.

"Just like that?" Pacifica asked, playing with the collars of her stained shirt.

"Just like that," Stan and Arline repeated. The two gave each other a grim smile, and followed the twins, who lead the charge.

"Whoa," Dipper said as he and Mabel turned the corner.

"Wowzers!" Mabel cried out as he face widened with awe.

Next to a large and well decorated trailer on an expensive looking truck, a stage had been set up. Surrounding the stage was easily a hundred people, staring up at the animated and cheerful looking man on the stage. Roughly the same height as the twins but with a large thick brown beard and curly hair, the man spoke with a deep but warm fluid voice- fluctuating with levels of excitement that only Mabel could comprehend.

"Does it cure a flu? Oh-ho-ho, YOU BET IT DOES!" the man roared triumphantly in the air. "But I also know what you're thinking-" he adopted a feminine voice, with a tiny smidgeon of whining, "oh, but will it keep my boy up and back in school! HA!" he called, back to the original voice, "your kids will be so healthy that they'll have no choice but to accept their fate as school-going, responsible children! That's the miracle of Panacea-cillin!"

"Uch," one kid nearby groaned. The rest of the crowd cheered.

"So, what are you waiting for!? Sign up for an appointment now!" he pointed to the edge of his stage, where a multitude of boards with lined papers awaited, "and Panacea-cillin can be yours today!"

"Sign 'em! Sign 'em!" Tyler cheered from inside the crowd as they all rushed forward.

"Panacea?" Dipper repeated aloud. "Literally a cure-all?"

"Not very creative with the name, is he?" Arline added as they watched him negotiate the crowds who rushed forward, pointing them to the clip boards they could sign up for.

"He said it cures everything?" Pacifica stepped forward, moving towards the crowds. "Then I'm signing up."

"Wait," Dipper reached for her, but she stepped under his reach.

"If you want to wait behind while I get us a face-to-face with this guy, be my guest," she told them, "but I'm going to see if this is legit or not."

"Heh. I wouldn't mind getting my hands on something like that," Grunkle Stan admitted, "just imagine the fortune I could make if it worked, and I could replicate it!"

"Let's keep our eye on the prize, and not money," Arline told him with a critical look.

"Money is always a prize," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes.

"Remember folks, sign up, get in line, and then wait for your appointment! Panacea-cillin! Guaranteed to cure all ailments, diseases, illnesses, and otherwise problems your body might have," The salesman said, waving to the crowd as he stepped away towards the trailer, "or my name isn't William Cardinal!"

Dipper frowned as the man stepped off the stage. Small and hairy, he didn't strike him as the type who the Warlock would employ. Still, looks were always deceiving, and this was suspicious. There was no such thing as a cure-all: it wasn't feasible for any one thing to cure all ailments on the body. He wondered if there was some kind of side-effect they would find out about this miracle.

"C'mon dork," Mabel pulled Dipper as they stepped forward. Pacifica, despite her position, which she continued to try using as a means for getting to the clip-boards, remained at the back. Everyone in the crowd was too excited to sign up to hear the commanding words of one small blond teen.

"Oh cool, we can wait in line now," Soos said as the six of them finally found themselves alone by the three clipboards. "Now we can exchange ideas about what we really think the guy is up to!"

"It's a sham," Grunkle Stan and Dipper said together.

"That was quick," Arline said. "You guys really don't think it's possible for someone to have a cure-all?"

"Of course not!" Grunkle Stan laughed.

"It's not impossible," Mabel shrugged.

"While nothing is technically impossible," Dipper rolled his eyes, "I don't know if something as simple as the ultimate cure-all would be discovered by some lone traveling salesman."

"You guys spend your summer up here in Gravity Falls twice, and your still trying to debate what is possible or not?" Pacifica asked them, her eyebrows raised. Dipper zipped his mouth and glared at Pacifica while Mabel grinned.

"Girls get it," Mabel said with a smile.

The line leading to the trailer was a long, impressive one. For nearly an hour the six stayed at the back, watching people take a step closer every ten minutes. They usually were running away from the trailer, excitement in their eyes, but seemed to be carrying nothing. Dipper wondered if this wasn't a shot then- something injected into them in the trailer. Yet, when Taylor left by them, eagerly rubbing his hands together, he had no band-aid on his exposed arms.

Eventually there was a commotion. The gang had spent an hour and a half, and eventually craned their heads. A loud voice scolded someone, and someone stumbled out of the shack.

"Hey, is that Zander?" Mabel asked a she jumped off of someone's shoulders.

"Yeah," Arline said, squinting at the passing Millionaire. Dipper spotted the man approaching, a scowl on his face for the first time since staying at Gravity Falls.

"Guys," he said with a flip of his frown, his smile back to it's normal position, "how goes it?"

"We're all going to get the magical cure alls or debunk it!" Mabel quickly informed Zander. He chuckled and nodded.

"What was going on over there?" Arline asked quickly. He shrugged and sighed.

"A misunderstanding, to my knowledge," he told them, "I guess being rich and famous can have negative effects when you're curious about these sort of things."

"I see," Arline said, staring at him.

"Well," Zander grinned to the others, "I'll be at my place. Not sure what you've all been up to, but let me know if anything crazy is going on."

"Sure, you know we will!" Mabel grinned toothily at the celebrity. "Bye Zander!" Mabel cried as she waved after him.

"Gosh, keep it down, would you?" Pacifica rolled her eyes, "I don't know if that just doesn't effect him any more or if he's oblivious."

"Oooh, or maybe he's smitten by my feminine charm?" Mabel asked to Pacifica, who shook her head. "Of course he is," Mabel told herself.

The last person stepped in as Lazy Suzan stepped out, happily telling herself she could soon see in three dimensions again. Given another ten minutes, the last group left the trailer, and the six of them assumed it was their turn. With a look amongst themselves, they all climbed inside. Pushing past the curtains by the door, the deep warm voice said, "Welcome! Come inside!"

Dipper saw him quickly enough. The room was littered with... well, Dipper took a second look. It all looked like a hodge-podge of junk. Books, pictures, purses, toys, magazines, dolls, an empty gun here or there, a few bottles; many these strange objects were lined and organized around the room with names underneath them.

"Wow! Six! A sextuple, huh?" the man asked them.

"Whoa there dude, nothing crazy in here please- I am a dating man," Soos told him.

The salesman roared with laughter. "Hah! You're great! What's your name, my boy?"

"I'm Soos."

"Well Soos, what kind of ailment, disease, or rare illness can I help you out of?" he asked as he sat in a very old looking carved wooden chair.

"Well, I'm not sick or anything now," Soos started, "but I'm working two jobs now. I could use a bit of insurance, you know?"

"I do!" the salesman nodded and grinned. He leaned in his chair, rubbing his thick beard. "Well, I think we can make this work."

"Awesome!" Soos exclaimed, and lifted out his wallet, "so, how much do I owe you? A hundred? My soul? Body and will?"

The Salesman laughed and shook his head. "Soos, do you have something you really care for? Like a present or something someone gave you?"

"Oh, you bet I do," Soos nodded, "there's this picture I got in the woods once- I've kept it in my room ever since."

William Cardinal shrugged. "Bring it in, and we can talk."

"Hot tamales! I'll be right back!" Soos told his friends, and leapt out past the curtains. The resounding crash outside told them that Soos had forgotten about the stairs, and plummeted to the ground. "I'm okay!" he called back.

"Hm, so, who's next?" William asked.

"Okay, okay, let's cut the bull for a second here," Stan stepped up, putting his hand on the table separating them, better to lean in to the smaller man. "What's the trick, Cardinal?"

"Magic," Cardinal smiled and winked.

"Hah!" Stan pointed at him, "so, you are working with him!" he back up as Arline stepped forward, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, what's this about? Warlocks?" William asked, nervously looking to Arline and the rest of the crew. "You, uh, are just playing some elaborate game, aren't you?" The five approached him, glaring down. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

"The warlock's plan- what is it he's planning?! Why is he using supernatural creatures to get his dirty work done? Why did he need a dragon?" Dipper demanded.

William Cardinals face went white. He stared at the five of them, his mouth open. "You mean... you're serious... you actually believe in magic?"

Dipper looked to Mabel. That didn't sound like the voice coming from a man with conviction to violence. The twins looked to Stan and Arline, who seemed to be sharing similar thoughts. Pacifica was first to pipe up.

"Duh, this town is crawling with weird stuff. So you kind of telling us magic is the reason it works- whatever," she shrugged. "Look, so how much money do I need to fork over to you to get one of these things."

"Oh no," William chuckled, "I don't trade with money."

"What?!" Stan and Pacifica gasped, and asked, "Why not?"

"Because, what use is money to someone who can get anything he wants?" William asked with a wink. They stared at him, but Dipper slowly nodded.

"You're not human," he stated, and William smiled and shook his head.

"What are you?" Mabel asked. William smiled his widest, and sitting cross-legged in his seat, he began to float upwards. Shimmering light of blue and gold began to radiate off of him. "Whoa!"

"Once, a slave," he told them, and from the air itself, he summoned a pair of golden bracers. As they got a glance to it, he whisked them away from reality, "then I was freed. Now, I'm a wish-giver who does a lot of traveling."

"A genie!?" Dipper gasped.

William nodded, and then shrugged. "I prefer djinn, but sure."

"You can grant wishes?" Arline asked.

"I can! But I'm now less of a wish-giver these days- it's much more satisfying seeing people happy when they can finally be cured of whatever disease hurts them," he told them with a grin.

"Wait, but why won't you trade in money?" Dipper asked, "what do you trade with?"

"Your possessions. Specifically, prized possessions," he told them with a glint in his eyes.

"Wait, but what if money is my prized possession?" Stan asked. All five turned and stared at him. "What? I love money?" William Cardinal rolled his eyes, and fluttered his hand. Grunkle Stan was lifted into the air. "H-hey! Put me down!" slowly, he was floated out of the shop.

"Well, now that we're in the company of those who actually want to trade," William shook his head, and he finally focused on Pacifica, "you wanted one as well?"

"Yeah. My boyfriend is going through a rough patch," she told him, "so I, uh, need him better. For reasons," she added, her cheeks reddening.

"Aw, love is what brought you here?" William asked, floating down next to her and standing next to her. Arline stepped back as the man put a hand on her shoulder. After a moment, his eyes twinkled and he grinned. "Indeed. A deep love."

"I, uh, just can we do the deal?" Pacifica's voice lowered as her face darkened to a rose color.

With a gentle smile, the man next to her snapped his fingers. Floating before her, a small blue and gold pearly pill floated. "Take it. On the house, kid," William told her.

"Wait... but you said-" she told him.

"Hey, I'm a sucker for love," he told her as he walked around the table and sat back down. With only a second hesitation, Pacifica reached out and tentatively took the pill. "Congratulations, you've made my first completed transaction. Hope he feels better," he told her with a wink. Pacifica looked around, spotting Dipper's awe for the Pill, Arline's satisfaction, and Mabel, who's eyes shimmered with happy tears.

"You love Yuki?" Mabel asked with a trembling voice. "Ohhh myyy goood-"

"Ugh. I'll be back at your shack," Pacifica quickly turned and marched out.

Dipper turned after watching Pacifica leave to address the djinn. "So you really are giving out cure alls?"

"Well, what else is a wish-giver going to do without purpose?" William asked. "I can wish food and drink whenever I'd like to, so money has little use for me. You see," he adjust in his seat, and waved his hand around, "every single item in this room here, every one, is a trade I've done. Things people like, cherish, and would be willing to give up to make someone healthy, or be healthy themselves. Whenever I spot someone's name up there," he pointed to a shelf full of abridged letters, "I can remember their name perfectly, along with their face and how happy they were when they realized they would really be cured. That kind of thing is worth more than money to me."

"Aww, that's adorable," Mabel cooed. "What about Pacifica? She didn't trade you anything."

"Yet," William wiggled a finger in the air, "people tend to come back with a thank you of some sort when I do that. I have a dozen binders or so stuffed with thank you cards, just to fall asleep to."

"Then why don't you give out these for free?" Arline asked.

"If I did that, I think I'd be drawing more attention to myself. Besides, It's not like I'm really denying anyone- from the richest to the poorest, we all have things we cherish to trade," William said.

"Can I feel your beard?" Mabel asked. William shrugged, and Mabel walked over, and began to stroke the thick hair. "Wow, so mystical and masculine..."

"But you said it can cure anything?" Dipper asked again.

"Yup," the djinn smiled at Dipper as Mabel played with his beard. "All I ask is something you cherish in return."

"I... okay," Dipper thought, running his fingers together. What did he have that was something worth a cure all for Wendy? It had to be something that he could afford to give away, something that could be left behind. Dipper's fingers ran inside his jacket and played with the spine of the journal as he thought. "Anything?" he asked the man.

"I like small little things, but sure, anything. What do you have in your jacket?" he asked. Dipper blinked and withdrew the journal. "Whoa," the djinn spotted the strange book, "what is that?"

"It's a journal from one of my grand uncles. He catalogued a lot of strange, mysterious things in the town, and I've used it for I don't know how many things," Dipper explained while reading into a few pages, his eyes scanning over memorable sections he'd seen many times. "All of it's authentic so far."

"It sounds amazing," William said as Mabel nodded.

"Dipper is in love with it. Practically a bible," she told him.

William turned his gaze from Mabel to her twin. "You know... that sounds like something I'd be willing to trade for a Panacea-cillin."

"R-Really?" Dipper asked, closing the journal instantly. "For... my journal?" he repeated, looking down to the reflective, golden, six-fingered imprint.

"Absolutely."

"I, well," Dipper frowned, his own image showing him his conflicted mind.

The journal. Number three. The one that above all else had gotten Dipper out of trouble more times than he could keep track. It saved his life, protected him and his family from harm, unraveled mysteries, and was one of three remaining artifacts from Stanford Pines that were safe. Dipper needed that cure though. Wendy needed to be cured finally, and Dipper knew that. Even still, the idea of never seeing that journal again...

"You know," William piped up, and Dipper saw the bearded man study him, "give it some thought. I'm here until tomorrow morning. Clearly you really, really like that journal."

"Well, yeah," Dipper shrugged.

"Come back later if you change your mind to keep it," William told Dipper with a kind smile. "Either of you want one?"

"No, my good man!" Mabel told him pleasantly, but turned to her brother with a glare, "but you'll have to excuse me while I take my brother out for a talk."

"Sure. Come back if you change your mind, or consider something else to trade," he reminded them as Mabel strode around the table, grabbed Dipper by the arm and pulled him out from the trailer. Arline looked back once to the djinn, studying him, and then followed. Outside, Grunkle Stan watched them stumble out, leaning on the trailer with a sour face.

"About time. I was getting bored out here," he grumbled. Mabel's grip on Dipper tightened, and Dipper winced. "Ugh, did I miss something?" Stan asked.

"Ow! Let go Mabel," Dipper demanded, pulling himself free once they were outside.

"Are you kidding me, bro?" Mabel said to him, her tone devoid of her usual bounce. "You had a chance to get Wendy one of those super cure-all thingies, and you didn't want to because you like the journal too much!?"

"That's not why I didn't!" Dipper rounded down on her.

"Then why?" Arline asked, stepping next to Mabel. "Dipper, she's got a point. You've been dying for the past week because of this."

"The journal has been really, really helpful!" Dipper told them as Stan walked next to him. "Aside from knowing just about every little thing there was out in this area and how to counter it, it's been the closest thing we've had to a real guide to the paranormal! It could have the answer to what to do with Wendy!"

"Could, yeah," Mabel rolled her eyes, "how's that been going so far? Huh?"

"Hold on Mabel," Stan piped up, "as much as I agree with you, these... books are the last thing my brother had. Next to that portal, which I'm not a fan of looking at," Grunkle Stan shivered, "it's the only thing left we've got of him."

The mention of the lost brother paused the twins. Their heated debate was instantly snuffed out, as the two of them realized that this decision was not just Dipper's to make. It was the three of them. Arline stood next to them, arms crossed and watching them.

"Why don't we all head back, and then see if this really is a cure?" Arline suggested. "I don't think we have much to doubt with him, but you never knew."

"Not a bad idea," Dipper nodded.


"I'm feeling much better!" Yuki shouted as he came rushing down the stairs to join Pacifica.

The twins, Arline, and Stan had just arrived back to the Mystery Manor, and were met with the cheerful news that not only had the cure been extremely effective, but it was instant. The residue from Yuki had vanished from him into thin air, and now he was more energetic than he had acted in his entire stay. Only Waddles seemed unimpressed with the instant recovery of Yuki- as he demanded the same amount of attention and love from his alien friend regardless of health.

"Yay!" Mabel cheered and ran to the three, past Wendy, who grinned happily for Yuki. "Now you can stay happy and bouncy forever." Waddles squealed loudly, sitting next to the counter top. "He's happy for you too," Mabel told Yuki.

Yuki nervously chuckled at Mabel, but his girlfriend patted his shoulder. "You don't need to," Pacifica told Yuki, who seemed worried that would become his expectant behavior. "Just keep being you."

"That I will," he said with a smile to Pacifica. "I just feel... wonderful! Better than I've ever felt since coming to earth!"

"Well, guess that cure worked. Think there are any after-effects?" Stan asked Dipper.

"I don't know. This looks like true magic," Dipper explained, "instant cure, instant relief."

"Either way," Yuki said, and turned to Pacifica and kissed her on the cheek, "I'll be off! I have an interview I'll be scheduling now!" he told the others before skipping past them and out the door. The pig oinked at him as he charged past.

"Wait! You could wait and see if there's any side... ah, forget it," Stan sighed.

"It's nice seeing him so happy now," Mabel told Pacifica, who sighed deeply, her face distant and dreamy.

"Yeah... er," Pacifica spotted Dipper grinning at her as Mabel squealed, and she cleared her throat, "well, now that he's better, I have to go re-buy these clothes. I'll see you all later," she said, and marched passed them, her nose in the air.

"Bye Pacifica," the twins waved her off.

"Man, that stuff actually works," Wendy smiled, "what do you have to give up for one of those? An arm and a leg?"

"Well, Dipper," Mabel said loudly, and grabbed his arm again, "you saw it work. What's the word?"

Dipper turned and stared into the expectant eyes of his sister. He knew what he wanted to say, and more what she wanted to hear him say. Then he turned to Wendy. She was watching with a crooked eyebrow, uncertain to their conversation. As he stared to her, the unknowing topic of their conversation, she smiled and winked at him.

"I, uh," Dipper quickly turned to Mabel, "I'm going to check over my notes one more time. You know, just to make sure."

"Dipper," Mabel hissed at him, her voice lowered, "we just saw it work on Yuki! How can you just ignore that!?"

"I'm not ignoring anything," he told her with a huff, "I'm just, you know, making sure we have everything in order."

"Dipper-"

"Look, I said I'd think about it, okay?" Dipper told her angrily.

"Fine," Mabel turned away, "you have a day to think about it, remember. Try not to be too selfish about it."

Dipper growled and stormed past the others.

Him? Selfish? He was trying to save something that could otherwise also save Wendy, and then more down the road. Not only that, the journal was coupled with memories of a lost family member. If that was being selfish to Mabel, Dipper needed to throw a dictionary into her face. Although, he could probably do that anyway.

Then again, he saw that smile from Wendy. The trust she had for him to choose correctly was astonishing and seemingly limitless. And to think he was hiding a book from the man who would gladly trade that for the answer to Wendy's sickness... it made Dipper's head spin and his stomach feel sick. He hated the idea that Wendy could trust him and he had the option to save her like that.

Stomping into the living room, he sat next to the same couch chair and stared at the many papers he had laid out.

'Wraiths are abominations made from shadow and madness, impervious to all harm.'

'From a failed attempt at immorality, the wraith is a ghost who seeks the life-force of victims around it.'

'The most unpredictable of spirits, the wraith will haunt anywhere it pleases, sometimes roaming entire forests or countries as it looks for victims to slay.'

Dipper growled as he reached over and crumpled the notes into a ball. None of them still helped. The closest thing he had that they all agreed on is that some dark magic is required to make a wraith, that they seem to be un-tethered to location or grave, and that they are considered undead. After that, wraiths could be seemingly anything.

What he wouldn't give to just see that one book that Robbie had used three years ago. Dipper wondered, as his eyes once again became heavy while scanning more pages of text, if Zander could call Robbie to ask him if he still had the book. It would explain why Dipper hadn't found it yet.

Yawning, Dipper flipped a page, and found a detailed rune, supposedly used to ward off dangerous undead. Dipper had seen the correct version of the rune, and was surprised by how close they almost got. Yet, in the end, it was still incorrect.

Before Dipper knew it, he closed his eyes and fell back against the couch chair.

Yet he never hit the couch.

Instinct and adrenaline kicked in as Dipper felt himself fall through emptiness. He screamed, looking around. Stars wheeled around him as he spiraled downwards, falling deep into nothingness.

No more warning than his own instinct, Dipper found an approaching platform below him. Grey and glowing, the closer he got to it, the slower he fell. As he hovered above the platform, suspended by some unknown force, he stepped down onto the two-dimensional object. The circle was as hard as concrete, but smooth like metal.

"Well, well, well," a high-pitched voice called from behind him, "I was wondering how long it would be before I caught you day-dreaming into a nightmare."

"No," Dipper slowly turned, his eyes wide.

Floating up from underneath the platform, the black outline of a top hat began to rise, followed by a yellow triangle with small noodle-like arms and legs. Spinning a cane in one hand, the one-eyed yellow triangle demon spoke to Dipper without a mouth.

"How's it goin', Pine tree?" Bill Cipher asked as he zoomed in closer, "Aww man, you look exhausted? Great! Want to play a game of 'how much sleep deprivation can a human being sustain before death'? I love that game!"

"This is impossible," Dipper told him.

"Oh?"

"We locked you up in the portal! In the space between dimensions! Stan made sure you couldn't get out!" Dipper shouted at Bill. The single eye rolled around.

"Hah! Oh, right, good 'ol Stanford. You know, it's times like these that make me happy I know your entire family here. I can send you your great-uncles regards!" Bill explained. "By the way, he says AAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Bill screamed at the top of his lungs, so loud Dipper dared not to remove his hands until the echoes of the scream faded away into the space surrounding them. "Also hugs and kisses," Bill added.

"You're lying," Dipper told him, "this is just a bad, really, really bad dream."

"Sure it is! But what makes you think I'm not actually in it?" Bill asked, zooming around him in a quick circle.

"Because you can't leave! At least without someone letting you out," Dipper thought for a moment, his eyes widening. Had someone, somehow, let the Dream demon escape?

"Hah, I wish," Cipher shrugged his arms up, "being stuck in a realm without a concept of time but space and energy is really different to what I'm used to, but boring in the long run! The things I torture there don't remember it because there's not concept of time!"

"Then... how are you here?" Dipper dared to ask.

"Well just because you locked me up doesn't mean I can't peak my way through the cracks and whisper to you mortal, three dimensional, linear grown sacks of meat. Heck, I've already done it twice before," Cipher added with happy swirl of his cane.

"You can just sneak out? Great. Well what do you want!?" Dipper shouted at him.

"Ohh, angry twinny Pine-tree! Love it! Much better than the stupid, confident, well spoken version of yourself," Cipher told him.

"I'm on a timeline, that's all," Dipper told him.

"Hahaha, timelines. That's funny. Corporeal, linear things make me laugh. Ah, right, speaking of which," Bill zoomed slightly closer, "let's talk about that."

"What?"

"About Red! Boy," Cipher waved his arm, and a picture of Wendy materialized before him, "she doesn't look so good.". Dipper saw her face, and gasped. The patches under her eyes were considerably darker, and her skin shock white. Her great green eyes seemed to be fading into a timid mint.

"That's not what she looks like!" Dipper told him.

"Sure, not now in your ephemeral present, but in just three years she turns into that. Want to see four?" Bill snapped his fingers, and the image changed, but was a living, breathing Wendy. Her hair was graying, her eyes almost entirely white, and her skin was nearly matching the tone of an albino. Worse of all, she was craning her head around, hunched over, snarling at air.

"No... no," Dipper shook his head, "that's not- you're just-"

"The truth is a lot more convincing than a lie," Cipher told him.

"You've done that kind of thing before!" Dipper shouted at him, "shown me something that isn't really there!"

"Sure! That's why I'm a dream demon, you silly, silly boy," Cipher said. "But really, you want to call me a liar? How about yourself?"

"W-what?" Dipper gasped.

"Well, for someone who promises Wendy that you'd find that cure right away, your sure quick to ignore one that is just handed to you instantly," Bill said, and Dipper turned away, holding his arm. "You know, pride runs strong in the family. You want to be the one to cure her yourself. Just like your Great Uncle- be the one to get all the credit."

"SHUT UP!" Dipper turned and lunged at Bill, who let Dipper slide completely through him and hit the ground.

"Now this is the kind of conversation I love. The one filled with anger and violence. Makes me miss the dark ages of Europe. Crusades, crucifixions, witch-hunts: good times," Bill sighed longingly. "Still, I've got a point, kid."

Despite himself, Dipper thought out aloud. "The pill the djinn gives out could have side effects."

"Sure it could!" Bill agreed.

"And that journal is really important to everyone," Dipper continued.

"Yup! Heck, I'd love to use it myself!" Cipher said excitedly. Dipper frowned and grunted. He hated to admit it, but the demon wasn't wrong. He'd never admit to him being right, but he... wasn't wrong. "Hmm- sounds like you're stuck there, kiddo. Well, unless..."

Dipper turned and looked into Cipher's eye. "No."

"Aww, not even going to hear me out?"

"Absolutely not," Dipper repeated.

"C'mon pine-tree," Cipher asked.

"I'd rather trade all the journals than do any deal with you," Dipper said.

"Funny, because I know that Djinn," Bill said, circling Dipper slowly, "and he doesn't have a fraction of the power I have. His wishes have limitations, and conditions. My power? Infinite."

"No. I'm done with talking to you. Go back to dimensional prison you monster," Dipper snapped at Bill, and began to sit down.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Bill asked, zooming into Dipper.

"Getting ready to wake up," Dipper said, closing his eyes and focusing his internal mind on doing just that.

"C'mon, you can't be serious!" Bill out-cried. "I came all the way here, for you, from the prison you locked me up in, and all you want to do is wake up and spoil the endless, semi-existential fun I have planned?"

Dipper focused harder, and felt less and less of the dream. Then, as Dipper felt himself ready to awaken, four words changed his mind in a flash.

"I can cure Wendy."

Dipper's eyes snapped open. "What?" he demanded of the Triangle.

"Oh, so, you'll listen to my proposal?" Cipher asked, turning half way away from the human teen, revealing part of his two dimensional existence.

"I... didn't say that," Dipper said.

"Hmm, then listen to me fully," Cipher said, coming closer. "Pine Tree, I know what Red's stuck with. Being a wraith isn't fun for anyone, except young Bhord. He's got that under control, the sweet kid. Nah, Red? She's got only a few years of sanity left in her at the rate she's going. So... here's my proposal."

Dipper swallowed. Despite his internal mind screaming for him to wake up and turn away from the deal demon, the monster of dreams, and the corrupter of knowledge, he listened to Bill.

"I cure little miss Red. She returns to being a human with a snap of my fingers. All you have to do is one, teeny, tiny, little thing for me. Well, you and all your friends, that is."

Dipper couldn't believe he was about to entertain the idea, but he frowned and asked, "And what is that?"

Bill chuckled, "Oh, you know, the usual." He zoomed into Dipper, less than an inch away, and the teen fell backwards with the rush of color. "You and your friends leave gravity falls forever and never return." Dipper breathed rapidly as he held himself below the demon, staring up at him. A black hand poked itself towards him, and Cipher squinted at Dipper. "So, Pine tree, do we have a deal?"


Wowzers! Early update is early! But what's this? A chapter without a significant amount of action? :O

Aside from that, BILL's BACK BABY! Just like he said at the end of Stronghold and Serpents, oh, like 20 chapters ago or something. Or more... what chapter was it? More chapters ago!? Dang... I forget sometimes this story's been out for a year.

And we meet another friendly paranormal creature! William Cardinal, the Djinn! And yes, if you're wondering, 'boy, that sounds a lot like _,' it's because you're right. He's based off of one of my personal heroes, icons, and deities.

Can you guys believe that we're almost seventy five percent done with season two? Episode fifteen is in two weeks, and then there are only five after that. So... eleven more weeks of season two. Things will be heating up soon, in case the appearance of Bill Cipher didn't give any hints.

Also, can you believe that I almost made this a chapter about Yuki dying of a cold? Yeah! I was going to go all "War of the Worlds" on you guys with a cold killing our poor little Uki-Dohth Alien boy. It wouldn't end up killing him, of course, but that would have been a plot-line. But we've already got Wendy ill, so we don't need any more references to sci-fi alien stuff. Got that all out of my system in season one.

(A huge flying saucer crashes onto EZB.)