A/N- And currently, the most votes still goes to her going lightside.
Dear Jessie,
Yesterday after dinner, I tried to find Draco, but he was conveniently missing from the Slytherin dorms. I decided that even though he was the one who'd said that he wanted to talk to me, I wasn't going to try that hard to track him down, since it would probably be a pointless endeavor. I'm sure that a guy like Draco knows how to hide from someone when he wants to. And if he really wanted to find me, he'd know where to look.
So I walked back to the dorms, a look of embarrassment on my face. I wish that I hadn't jumped to conclusions about that conversation with Hermione yesterday. That doesn't matter anymore, though. I went to sleep, and woke up this morning feeling a lot better (and if maybe I had a dream or two about Hermione, then that's entirely my own business).
When I went into the common room, Draco was lounging in his usual spot around the fireplace. Because our house is underground and right by the lake, it gets pretty chilly down here. He frowned when he saw me. 'Why didn't you find me last night? I said that I needed to talk to you.' I didn't say anything, so he rolled his eyes. 'Is this about our conversation the other day? Fine, if you don't want to discuss your destiny then we won't, but don't just ignore me.'
I couldn't help laughing a bit at that. 'Are you pouting, Draco? Do you really have so few friends that if I don't talk to you, you'll be all lonely?'
He looked like he wanted to punch me, but I knew that he wouldn't. Or, I hoped that I knew he wouldn't, anyways. With Draco, sometimes it's hard to tell. He sighed. 'I just wanted to apologize. I was a bit of an arse yesterday when I bumped into you. I shouldn't have said those things to Granger.'
It felt absolutely bizarre to be hearing an apology coming from Draco. He's the type of person who always likes to own the space he's in, and no matter what he does (usually), he'll act like it's everyone around him who's at fault. That makes for two apologies from him in two days. Well, he hadn't exactly apologized to Hermione yesterday, but just the fact that he'd admitted that he was the one who was wrong had been strange. Now this was just weird. 'Who are you, and what have you done with the real Draco?'
I almost wish that I went to more of my classes, so that I would know if it was even possible to make yourself look identical to somebody else. He rolled his eyes. 'Ha ha. Just relax, would you? Is it really so unusual that I'd issue an apology to my… friend?'
I shrugged. 'I don't know. Bring one of your friends here and I'll ask them.' Now he was starting to look frustrated, and I felt bad for needling him. 'Er, I accept your apology. Just don't let it happen again.' That's a phrase that I've heard my parents use a lot when they're on their phones, talking about work related stuff. It seemed to fit here, so whatever.
Draco nodded. 'I won't. I promise. I'll let you figure things out in your own time, and whatever you end up doing will have to be your decision.'
I shrugged. 'I may never do anything. I don't want to ruin the tenuous friendship that I've been pushing so hard to make with her. I wouldn't want to do anything that could upset the balance, you know?'
Draco nodded. 'I know.' He frowned. 'So do you want to talk about the other stuff at all?'
I put my hands on my hips and tried to give Draco one of my sternest looks. I'm not sure how well it worked. He's one of the few people who I can never tell whether he's really afraid of me or not. 'You mean how you think that for some reason there's a prophecy about that? It's not even possible. It's about Harry Potter. Anyone with half a brain could figure that out.'
Draco nodded. 'Then I guess you've only got half a brain, because anyone with a full brain would be able to figure out right away that it's about you.'
I was starting to get frustrated with him. 'Why are you so insistent on it being me? What difference would it really make to you either way? Why would you even care about any of this?'
Draco sighed, and looked over at the fire, crackling merrily away. I wondered if it was house elves in charge of keeping the fires going. Maybe I should make sure the fire always goes. Except I don't have a wand yet, so there's probably not much I could actually do. Not that the fire was important to any of this anyways.
I returned my attention to Draco, though he didn't look up at me. He spoke in a soft voice, even though it was early and there wasn't anyone else up yet. 'Do you know what it feels like to choose between doing a bad thing or having a bad thing done to you?' I shook my head. 'Well I know what that feels like. There's something that I'm going to have to do eventually, before the end of the school year for sure. If I don't, then it'll be bad for me and for my family. And I'll only get one chance to get it right.' I wasn't sure how this was relevant, but I wasn't going to interrupt him. 'Potter hates me. I know that; I've accepted it years ago. If the prophecy's about him then it doesn't matter anyways. But if it's about you, then that means that you've got the chance to make things right.'
I wasn't sure that I was quite hearing it correctly, so I had to ask. 'Are you saying that if the prophecy is about me, then you'll just have me go and do your bad deed?'
He sighed, sounding as frustrated as me. 'I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that if you're friends with the people in charge, you're more likely to get what you need. If you help you-know-who, he'll make you important. He'll value what you have to say. You could convince him to find someone else to do this bad thing.'
I frowned. 'Or I could just destroy him and release anyone from doing it at all, right?' I shrugged. 'Wouldn't that just make the most sense?'
Draco immediately jumped to his feet. 'Don't be an idiot. There's no way you can take him down on your own. You'll just get yourself killed.'
I put my hands on my hips, starting to feel pretty annoyed. 'I thought you said that I'm obviously the person in the prophecy. Wouldn't that mean that I could help him or harm him?'
He frowned. 'I don't think that that's necessarily a literal translation-'
'Why is it that it's only a literal translation when it's convenient to aiding your cause?' My eyes widened in shock, and I spoke in a harsh whisper (well, you know that I'm not that good at whispering or sounding intimidating in general, but I'd like to think that in this case it worked in my favor). 'You don't actually want him to succeed, do you?' Somehow, that possibility had never really occurred to me.
But thinking back to our conversation in the lovely garden, I could see how that almost made sense. He'd said that being under you-know-who's thumb was a way to make all of the bad stuff not feel so bad anymore. So maybe he did genuinely want the villain to win. It's what Harry thought.
His shoulders slumped down, and he looked at the carpet. 'I don't really know what I want anymore,' he said miserably. 'There's a lot more at stake than just you or me. There's so many lives to consider, so many innocent people who could get hurt either way.' He let out a soft sigh. 'I really don't know.'
Well, as much as I was in the mood to dramatically storm away, I knew that it wouldn't have been polite, so I walked over and patted his shoulder comfortingly. It was a bit awkward because he's a couple inches taller than me, so I had to reach up. But he is my friend, and if I wasn't willing to comfort a friend in need, then I'd be a horrible friend. I mean, I already know that I'm a horrible friend. First I blew you up, and then I attacked Draco before I'd ever even spoken to him before. Eh, not the point though.
The point is, I was just trying to be a good friend, is all. 'Well, uh, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think that you have to live out the evil villain trope. There's plenty about you that just screams redemption.' He didn't seem convinced, so I took in a deep breath, then let it out. 'Well, think of it this way, then: I've managed to find something close to peace, and what I did is a billion times worse than anything you could be planning on doing.'
Draco shook his head and walked towards the door that would lead out into the dungeons corridor. 'No offense, Sophie, but I think that I'd rather be on my own right now. If anyone asks, you have no idea where I've gone.'
I frowned. 'But I really don't know where you're going.'
He nodded. 'Good.' And then he was walking away before I even had the chance to properly think about what had just happened. What had just happened?
I think my life is just fated to be so bizarre. And his too. Actually, I don't think that there's really a normal kid in this entire school. Maybe that's why my parents thought that I'd be best off here.
Anyways, yours always,
Sophie
