"Not until the shock wore off. I guess it wore off in the middle of the night and that was why Sam was on the edge of the bed. I didn't understand when I first woke up, I thought I did something wrong, that he was mad at me ... then reality hit and I knew when he told me that I'd been struggling in my sleep what he'd been afraid of."

"He's no stranger to dealing with nightmares. He knows whatever happens, you don't mean to hurt him ..."

"When he touched me today, yeah, it was just like the day it happened - through my uniform - but knowing it wasn't just the actions of a drunk ... that this thing could do that ... or worse ... to a woman stone cold sober, made me sick. As soon as we got home ..."

"You hit the shower." It wasn't a question but fact spoken through experience.

"Have you let Sam touch you?" When Andy didn't respond, Sarah clarified, "I don't mean the way he'd comfort me or Sami ... have you let him touch you as your lover ..."

Sam chose that moment to come back in, minus Sami, to get them drinks. "It's a little soon for that, don'tcha think, Sis?"

Sarah looked at him. "Actually, no, I don't. She wasn't raped, there's no reason you can't remind her that you love her through physical contact ... just not in front of Sami, please!"

Both Sam and Andy laughed at Sarah's request before Sam grabbed the drinks he came for and left the girls to continue their talk.

"Remember earlier, you said you didn't think he would still love you ..."

"Yeah. I spent many moments in my little brother's arms with him reassuring me that he would always love me, no matter what."

"Remember you said you didn't think anyone would want you ..."

"Andy ... I know it sounds like I'm tryin' to placate you, but I'm not ... you won't ever have to worry about Sam not wanting you. He absolutely adores you ..."

"It's one thing to love me, another to want me ..."

"Insecurities are a bitch and they don't keep you warm at night. The best thing you can do for you is to trust yourself and trust my brother ... in case you missed it, he said he was proud of how you handled yourself."

Sarah smiled. "I'm gonna call in the order for delivery, why don't you forget about it for awhile and enjoy spending time with a little girl that adores you ..."

Andy smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm just glad you felt you could trust me. Just because my brother does, doesn't mean you had to ..."

All Andy could do was nod as she walked out in search of Sam because emotion was choking her.

Andy found Sam and Sami cuddled up reading a book. Sami was on his lap with her head back against his chest. Sam felt her at the door and smiled. He didn't look up from the book but whispered to Sami who turned to find Andy leaning inside the door. Andy waved when Sami looked, waiting for an invitation to come in, not wanting to intrude or interrupt the time they got together. The invitation came in the form of Sami holding out her hand.

Andy sat down next to Sam and it didn't take Sami long to find her way into her lap. Part way through the story Andy had a lap full of a sleeping child. Sam got up and carried her into the living room.

Checking with Sarah, they had plenty of time for Andy to lay down and just let the stress of the day fall away. Sam had no plans of doing anything more than walking Andy to their bedroom, until they got to the door and she took his hand taking him inside with her. Andy stopped at the bed.

"I haven't closed my eyes without your arms around me since he touched me ..."

Sam touched his forehead to hers. "Lay down."

Andy laid down and moved over far enough to allow Sam to lay down beside her. The moment he was stretched out on the bed Andy was reaching to wrap his arms around her. Once her head was pillowed on his chest he kissed it and whispered, "Sleep, and know mine are the only hands that'll touch you ..."
Her even breathing a few minutes later told him she was asleep.

A soft knock came at the door before Sarah popped her head in. "Supper's here if you want to eat ..."
"Yeah, I think I'll wake her, we'll eat then call it early. I want her getting as much sleep as she can ..."

Sarah smiled. Sam had done the same thing years ago.

"Ok, want me to wake her?"

Sam smiled. "No, as soon as I move she'll be awake. Thanks, though."

Sarah watched as her brother got up and within seconds Andy shaking the sleep out of her eyes.

Sam grabbed her hand and pulled her off the bed.

They held hands the entire time they ate. After supper they offered to clean up but Sarah sent them to bed, using work as an excuse for them needing the extra sleep.

Sam locked their door and helped Andy get undressed before stripping down himself. Andy was already in bed, waiting for her 'pillow' when Sam crawled in. She was asleep within moments of the assurance that Sam was the only one who would touch her.

The next morning they woke up to a knock on the door. Since Andy was wearing more than Sam she got up to answer it. She opened the door and smiled. Sami was standing there with a tray, on it, 2 cups of coffee.

"Mommy said breakfast is ready when Uncle Sammy's had his coffee ..."

Andy laughed as she took the cups, thanked Sami and promised to be down after their showers ... of course they showered together but their niece didn't need to know that!

After breakfast, Andy offered to have story time with Sami so Sam and Sarah could talk.

Coffee in hand, the Swarek siblings headed for "their" spot.

Before she was attacked, any time she felt the walls closing in, Sam could find Sarah sitting in a stairwell of the crummy apartment they'd lived in as kids, after the attack, she took to sitting on the front steps. That was where Sam had found her 1 night in tears. He leaned against the support beam and listened to her babble about nothing as she talked to keep the bad thoughts away. It was there and then that she'd told him about what happened. Since that night, when they needed to talk, they headed outside with Sarah sitting on either a rail or steps while Sam leaned against a beam.

They'd shared too many moments like this for the subject to be awkward.

"It broke my heart to hear how someone could do something like that to her ... then I took her statement and I heard every detail ... and even though I know it's not my fault I couldn't help but feel guilty for not being there to protect her, just like I wasn't there to protect you."

"Sammy, don't do that, don't go there, it's no more your fault than it is hers. If she thinks you blame yourself she'll blame herself because you feel that way, it's a vicious cycle, don't let it start."

Sam shook his head.

"As for what happened with me, that was a long time ago,"

"I know ..."

"Then let it go, it's a memory ..."

Sam smiled at how far his sister had come."You know I love you, right?"

Sarah returned her brother's smile. "Sammy, that's the 1 thing in my life I've always trusted. You've been there, you've stood by me for the best and worst moments of my life ..."

Sam hugged her.

"I know Sami will be, but would you be pissed if we went home today? Everybody thinks we're here so it would be nice to have a couple days to ourselves at home ..."

"Go. You need to be alone more than you need to be Uncle Sammy or Aunt Andy right now ..."

As much as Sami didn't want them to go, they were packed up and on the road within the hour.

Traffic was fairly light so Sam was pulling the truck into the driveway less than 2 hours later.

It took longer than Sam had expected for Andy to fall asleep but she was out cold by the time he reached the St. Cat's city limits.

Sam unloaded their bags before opening Andy's door. He carried her into the house and laid her on the couch. He carried their bags upstairs and unpacked, putting a load of laundry in. He called and arranged to have her uniform picked up by the cleaners. He knew she still didn't have much of an appetite but she needed to eat, so he called in an advance order for supper before going back to check on Andy.