(Dezbe)
I've lost track of all time. I've lost weight. I've almost lost hope. I don't know how long I've been here, and I can hardly remember what the sun feels like. All I know, is that they're keeping me alive for something. For what, I don't know, but it's for something. I can't understand what language they're speaking, but sometimes they call me 'American' or spit at me. The one who opens the hole in the door to feed me will sometimes say 'Chinese' with a slur of unknown words mashed in there. I wish I could understand them, or that they could understand me, so then maybe I could tell them this whole thing is probably a big misunderstanding. No matter how many times I try to talk to them, though, it's fruitless. They just yell, and kick or punch me. I don't think they can really understand English, which sucks a whole lot for me.
What I can still remember, though, is how I got here. I went out for a walk, you know to clear my head. The kids were fighting, and it really stressed me out. It sucks to hear your daughter crying, and know that you're not supposed to intervene. So I just wanted to go for a walk. A walk to clear my head. A walk to just…think. I don't know what I wanted to think about, that was so damned important it would fuck my night up, but shit, it had better been something good. I wasn't even near Vault 101, when I was knocked over the head, and knocked out.
When I woke up, I was in this weird, pre-war factory. Lord knows what used to go down in this factory, because I certainly don't. But when my vision cleared, and the pounding in my head stopped long enough for me to get a decent look around, I saw that I was in the company of strangely dressed ghouls. I'd never seen a uniform like that before, or anything. It was a greenish gray color, and really war-like. For a minute I thought I was safe, because ghouls are usually really kind to me. Never met a mean one, before my time here. They weren't nice, and screamed at me in a language I'd never heard before. When I told them I didn't understand a damned thing they were saying, they just beat the holy piss out of me. Kept me tied to a chair for a time, I don't know how long, really. Sometimes they'd come and just hit me for no reason. Sometimes they'd try to talk to me, but when I couldn't respond due to the language barrier, they'd hit me. So no matter what, when one came, I'd be hit.
Eventually, they untied me. I did my best to fight them off, but I was so weak and malnourished and injured, that it didn't quite work out as I'd planned. I'd planned to get out, and here I am. Still here. Once they got me down, which wasn't hard to do, they dragged me to this room. There's no light, and I can't hear anything from the outside. I mean, I can, but it's not noises you'd usually hear. Just people walking, or them talking in their language. I can hear when they're coming to feed me, but other than that it's blackness and silence. It gets really cold in here, too. I didn't really leave home prepared for a fight, so I'm shit out of luck there. They took my boots, too. I think because I could use the laces as a weapon, and the boots as one, too. But that's all they took. Charon's shirt and my underwear remain intact, but smelly.
Since I lost track of the days a long time ago, I don't exactly know what day it is, how long I've been here, or if it's day or night. I just know I'm really hungry, really cold, and really in a bad spot. I haven't been here for a short while, I know that much. I think it's been like a month, or longer. Can't really tell. I've been hoping for the day that Charon comes here, but then I remember that he has no idea where I am, or what happened, or who has me. When I realized that, the first time, I panicked.
I should have picked a better time to walk outside. I mean, our marriage wasn't the best when I left, but it wasn't bad, either. We were working on it. But knowing my impulsive nature, and how I go about things, I don't think Charon is looking for me. Pair that with how our marriage was, and I can understand how he'd be able to misinterpret my leaving. But I really, really hope he didn't. The ghouls here don't feed me enough to give me much energy. I mean, going without food for a day or two, maybe three, isn't hard. But they did that to me, made me wait so long for food I swear I was about to die, then they fed me. It was such a small amount, that all it did was give my body enough energy to survive.
That's what they do. They feed me and water me enough to keep me alive, like some sort of plant. If I don't eat, they beat me within an inch of my life, until I do eat. I really have no choice, they are seriously not letting me die. Then again, I really don't want to die, because I still have a lot of shit to do. I have to take care of Dizzy, and make sure she's always safe. I have to tell Charon I love him, and that I still want to be with him, and that I didn't leave because I wanted to. It was more I was knocked out and kidnapped, than leaving because I felt like going off on some adventure all by my lonesome. Sometimes, I chuckle to myself, thinking about how leaving an adventure alone would be a hell of a lot more fun than sitting in this dark room for an undetermined amount of time.
The room isn't comfortable at all. It's about my body length squared. When I lie down, the tip of my head touches one wall, while my feet touch another. It's all concrete, and the floor has a lot of dust and dirt on it. I have a little scrap piece of fabric that I can use either as a shitty blanket, or a shitty pillow, and that's about it. They made it a point to take my Pip-Boy, so I don't even have that to keep me company. When they first saw it, it was like they'd never seen something like that before. I'd never met people, ghouls especially, who didn't know what a Pip-Boy was.
I'm not sure who these people are, or where they came from. All I do know is that they're keeping me here for some reason. I don't know that reason, yet. At first I thought it was maybe some ploy to get information, but the language barrier shot that idea right down. Then I thought maybe they wanted Charon for something, and then realized that not only does Charon have no idea where I am, but these people aren't even from this country. They probably have no idea of who Charon is. For a while I figured I was a hostage, because they wanted something from Megaton, until I realized they were never talking to anyone outside of their own small army. So those are the only reasons I can think of as to why they'd want me, and none of them make sense. I mean, they could want me for some sort of revenge, but I'd never messed with anyone like these people before. I seriously have never, ever, ever seen them in my whole time in the Capital Wasteland. I've thought that maybe they're from New Vegas, and Jasper sent them here to dispose of me. But if that's the case, they'd have to speak or understand some form of English, and they don't. None of them do, not even their leader.
I know he's their leader, because he wears a prettier uniform than the rest of them. It's more clean, and more decorated than anyone else. So, he certainly must be the leader. Plus they all take their orders from him, it seems. I don't know anything else. I wish I did, so I could high-tail it out of here and blow this place to the moon. I haven't figured out how I'm getting out, I just know that when I do, they're going to have hell to pay. You don't mess with someone like me, and not walk away without some serious traumatic injuries. If you even survive, that is.
At least I'm able to stand up in this room. When I have the energy, I do push-ups like Charon taught me how when I was trying to lose weight from having Dizzy. I've gotten really good at it, and my arms are quite toned. I even do curls, like Charon taught me, so my midsection is alright, too. I mean, I'm really malnourished so it's not like I have the strength or energy to really do these things often, but when I can do them, it's like I'm not even in this place. Sometimes, I even run in place, and get my legs in working order and rid myself of the numbing feeling they usually have. Of course I don't let the people who feed me find out I'm doing all this. I want it to be a surprise when an opportunity to escape arises. If I can't do anything else, I can at least stay somewhat in shape. Because right now, I'm really not in the mood to die here. Really.
I've lived through a lot of kidnappings, and a lot of hell. I've lived through rape being in places like this, and attacked with a vengeance. These people don't do that, but shit if they did I wouldn't let that person out alive. The only reason they're able to restrain me half the time is because there's about five of them and one of me. I'm not amazing in those odds. But I swear, the day they let their guard down, I'm going to fuck their shit up. You do not knock me out, kidnap me, keep me near death, and think you're going to walk away into the sunset without a swift ass kicking.
In fact, if by chance Charon does come and find me, I really hope he goes all insane-mercenary-mode on their asses. But I want him to leave some for me, too. I'm not some damsel that always needs Charon's rescuing, only like, half the time. Right now I could use his help, and some Sugar Bombs, and a gun. Then I could really kick some heads in. I'd even kick their heads in with my bare feet, that's how pissed I am about being here. My hair is all nasty, my body feels gross, and I'm starving. I feel like a trapped and weakened Deathclaw right now. Once I get the chance, I'm gonna attack these fuckers like there's no tomorrow. You wouldn't try to tame a Deathclaw, so why the hell are you going to try that shit with me? Guess they didn't get the memo.
Outside my chamber, I hear the footsteps of the person who is probably going to feed me. They have a very distinct and heavy walk. As always, when I hear them, I prepare myself. I mean, today might be the day where they make one mistake. Where they open the door instead of the hole, and give me a window. Or where they stick their hand in just enough for me to grab it. Lucky for me, it's the latter. When I see the light come in from the outside, and that hand slowly sliding in, I make no hesitation to grab it.
Trust me, I hold on, too. Holding it, I break as many fingers at I can. With my feet against the door, and their hand in mine, I pull their whole arm through. The ghoul on the other end screams in his language for his friends, but they're not coming fast enough. I break his fingers, and twist his hand all the way around until I feel and hear the bones popping. When I feel people trying to pull him back, I bite that bastard. I dig my teeth right into his arm and I do not let go. What ends up happening is he loses a decent chunk of his forearm. I wait to see if they're going to open the door to have someone come in and beat the piss out of me, but oddly, nobody does. I bet it's another one of those psychological mind fucks, and decide not to worry about it. But I keep my guard up. I can hear the guy who feeds me flipping out to his friends around them. I really snapped his hand good, too. That fucker won't be using it for a while, even if he had radiation. Made goddamn sure of that.
It's the first time I really attacked someone since I've been here. Really, I never got an ample chance to. I've always been surrounded, and they've never stuck their hand in so far. I guess they think I'm wasting away in here. In which case, they wouldn't be wrong, but I'm tougher than that. I'm not about to give up all hope and curl up and die slowly like they want. No. If they're keeping me here, they're going to get injured. I don't care if I can only hurt one of them every six months, as long as I get to.
Even still, I'm hoping Charon comes here soon. Or someone at least tries to explore the area. Even if they did, though, I have a feeling I'd have no idea of it. I don't know where this room is located, but it can't be somewhere out in the open. I don't expect a New Vegas Strip-like sign with flashing lights saying DEZ IS HERE over this room. It's probably disguised as some sort of storage closet or something. In which case, whomever finds this place, wherever and whatever it is, better have a shit load of curiosity. I want them opening every door and overturning every chair. Just so they can find me and I can scoot my ass back to Megaton, and tell on them.
Yes. I am going to tell on them. I am going to get out of here, kill one or two if I can, and go tell. Go and tell like a brat child, to Charon. And he's going to get pissed, and they're going to really get their asses handed to them. If you think I'm a fierce bitch, you've obviously never met my husband. A six-foot-seven, two-hundred and ninety-five pound ghoul, that's without armor, who is trained to kill six men from Sunday, isn't who you want to mess with. And they just kidnapped his wife. That makes me really believe they have no idea as to what they've just done. Charon's really sick, too. He'll think of so many ways to keep them just alive enough to feel a bunch of pain before killing them. Or that could be my insanity slipping away, and I'm just projecting Charon as a homicidal maniac. Though in this situation, he should be. I wouldn't mind waterboarding these bastards given the chance. Just because. No reason, other than the fact that you know, they've kidnapped me and kept me here against my will. But other than that they seem fine. Good, upstanding men of unknown origin. And with that, I've also decided I'm going to fly. Because neither of those things are possible.
Once again, I hear footsteps and loud talking outside my door. I listen, and hear as they grow closer. There's two voices, one being my feeder, and another unknown person man thing. Soon, the hole opens up, and I see an eye peering through. Now every muscle in my body wants to jab him right in that eye of his, and gouge it out. But, if I do that, my arm can be grabbed, and I really don't want to hurt myself. Without radiation, healing from these wounds is a bitch. I genuinely believe I have an infection, since the cut on my stomach is oozing smelly shit.
While the ghoul peers in, I peer, out, and he knows I'm watching. I can see it in his eye. He knows that I want to hurt him. That I'm expecting him. He doesn't say anything to me, but instead closes the hole, and says something to the man who feeds me. I really wish I could understand them. After that, though, they walk away and nothing more happens. Why did he want to see me? That's odd, but I chalk it up to nothing to worry about. In the dark, I feel around my body. Since I can't see, and even if could I'd have no mirror, I need to feel to see how my wounds are healing. The swelling in my lip seems to have gone down, but my left eye socket is still sore, and tender to the touch. My ribs hurt with each breath I take, and my exercise routines don't exactly help that. I know a few of them are broken. Luckily none of them punctured my lung, or I'd have died a really shitty death for me. I always wanted to die in some awesome explosion. Not something like this, where I have zero control over the situation. At least if I died in an explosion, it would be me who had planted the bombs in the first place.
As much as I want Charon to come here guns blazing and know exactly where I am, I have a feeling he's thinking I'm long gone. That I left real fast and have no intention of coming back because I am a selfish bitch. I may be a selfish bitch, but I'm the kind of selfish bitch who would keep the house and make him leave. Or tell him that I'm leaving and force him to watch me go. I do not just sneak off and leave somewhere. That's fucking stupid. But it's definitely something everyone can accuse me of doing without a second thought. Even Dizzy, because she knows how I work. I really wish I had some freaky twin sense with Charon, like Cain does. That'd make telling him where I was that much more easier. At least I could sense when he was coming.
Oddly enough, though, those ghouls didn't take the ring Charon gave me. I would assume since it's made of some cool jewel, that they'd want it. At don't get me wrong, those bastards saw it. It's really hard to miss, considering how much it shines. They were really curious about it, and when they tried to take it I nearly tore off a ghoul's face with my teeth. So after that they didn't bother. I guess it's because they have to get too close to me. Then again, they could just knock me out and take it. I'm not sure what their reasoning is to letting me keep it, but I'm pretty sure it's to remind me that I was a free person at one point. Or some bullshit like that.
Looking down at my left hand, I notice that my ring has been glowing a bit brighter. Before I couldn't see it on my hand, and now it's emitting some sort of red, eerie glow. Like a really, really, really dim Pip-Boy light. It's not bright enough to use as an actual light, but it's bright enough to where I notice it. If that makes any sense whatsoever. I have no idea why it's glowing like this, but I hope it's something good, and not about to rot my finger off. It doesn't feel any different, not warmer or colder, but it just glows. To think about it keeps my mind occupied, and I get to think of other things than how I'm going to really torture my captives out there.
There's no doubt in my mind that I'm getting out of this place. Not because I know for sure I'm going to escape, but because I won't let myself succumb to the thought of dying here. Look, I even used a new word. That's a big feat for me right now. It's a lot easier to keep up hope that's I'm going to get of here, and wake up, than it is to resign myself to dying here, and wake up. Waking up is incredibly difficult to do, when you're as sickly and malnourished as I am. Never thought waking up from a sleep would be something I'd appreciate, but I do. Because it means there's another twelve hours or so I can survive in this place, and wait for a chance to bolt. And tell on them. I'm going to tell on them, don't forget that.
While I stare at my ring, toying with it, I hear the sounds of people rushing past my door. If they're running like that, it means my door isn't hidden in some room. It means that it's near some entranceway, or in a main hall. Good news for me, I guess, because that means this room won't be too hard to find. I hear a group of footsteps run past, and then I hear a bunch of other-language yelling. What they're yelling about I don't know, but I really hope it's because someone is venturing around this place. Because I could really use some Sugar Bombs, like I said before. A bottle of radiation, and Sugar Bombs is all I want. That's it. And that's not a hard request. But when you're stuck in a room like this, it really is.
Soon I don't hear the feet running, and it gets really eerily quiet. Like someone did something, and everyone is waiting to see the others' reaction to it. Usually there's someone walking around, all the time. I have no way of telling the time, but whenever I wake up I hear them, and whenever I'm nodding off I hear them. Sometimes, I'm even woken by them. It's all I really hear, anyways. I'm so used to the silence, that I really am missing the slight noise of Megaton at night. You know, when people would be heading home from the bars, being all rowdy and whatnot. It's funny, the things you miss, when you're away from home. What I miss most, though, is being near my family. Hearing Dizzy laughing with Cain, and doing her little radiation experiments. Listening to Charon's gruff voice as he tells people what to do, and falling asleep to the sound of his soft and quiet snores in the moonlight. I miss Gob and Zack, and hearing Gob's silly fits, while Zack laughs at him. When I get out of here, I should really tell everyone just how much they mean to me. So then, they'd always know.
