Disclaimer: Disney owns Star Wars, not me. All the characters and places (except for my OC Analise) belong to them.
"aaaa"-talking out loud. "aaaa" (bold and italics)-talking through a holo or com.'aaaaa'-inner thoughts. aaaaa-talking through a Bond. "aaaa" (bold)-talking in another language. ("aaa") (bold, italics, and parenthesis)-talking through a holo or com in another language.
AN: I've made it to Mackinac Island. Fingers cross everything goes well this time and I will be here until November:) As I stated last time I might be taking 2-3 weeks off at some point during the summer, but it is much more likely that updates will slow down. This will become more true between Memorial Day and Labor Day when business on the island picks up. I will not stop writing or posting, just be aware that chapters and interludes will start coming more slowly. As soon as I am able I will return to the regular schedule.
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Interlude-The Difference
She was a child of war.
She should have been asleep. She knew that. Normally it was easy to fall asleep in the spare room at Padme's flat that had slowly become her secret bedroom for those rare nights when Anakin was able to sneak out and bring her along. Ahsoka always felt guilty on those nights because her brother and sister-in-law rarely got anytime alone, just the two of them.
But Padme would always insist on Ahsoka spending the night with them. They had the perfect excuse after all if anyone asked. Padme was giving Ahsoka one-on-one lessons about politics and sometimes those lessons ran a little long so of course the Padawan would spend the night. Plus Padme always joked about how it wasn't fair that Obi-Wan and Analise always got to play parents all the time. She wanted a turn once in a while too.
So a spare bedroom was Ahsoka's room now. There were clothes in the closet that she only wore at Padme's. Her bed was big and covered with the softest of blankets and plushy pillows. There was a spare pack in the corner for missions and no matter how hard she tried there were always piles of datapads and parts and holobooks laying here and there.
The flat had become her second home. One that Ahsoka loved as much as the Temple.
Normally it was easy to fall asleep, but tonight she just couldn't. She couldn't because she couldn't stop thinking about Boba Fett, about how he was a child of war like her. They were children of war because they were growing up during war. Heck she was even fighting in it, held the rank of Commander and lead men into battle.
Like Boba she had seen people cut down in front of her. Men that she called her vod'e and treated her like a little sister when they weren't fighting. Boba had seen his father killed at the very start of the war. Had watched as Mace Windu had cut him down.
Boba had been filled with rage, a need for revenge. She had seen Boba fight, had heard his voice laced with hatred for Jedi like her and longing to see Mace broken and dead.
That's why she sat up awake and not asleep though she was tired. She was afraid. She was afraid that one day something might happen to her sisters, her brother, her foster father, her uncles, or Force forbid Rex. Ahsoka was afraid that one day she would watch as something, as someone cut down her family, her dearest friends and she would become like Boba. She would become consumed with anger and a need for revenge.
She wrapped her arms around her legs and shivered. She didn't want to be like that. She didn't want to. She didn't...
Snips? The door to her room slide open as her brother and Master walked in, rubbing his eyes. He had felt her fear through their Bond, felt her fighting sleep even though she was so tired. Padme had woken when he had and taken one look at his face before she was nudging him out and demanding he go get Ahsoka. Snips what's wrong?
She shook her head and Anakin sighed. Alright you asked for it. He marched over to the bed and scooped the fourteen year old up as though she weighed no more than a feather. Anakin shook his head. She was still eating like Analise. Barely when she was stressed or upset. He might have to sic Rex on her.
Put me down Skyguy! I'm not a baby anymore!
No way Snips. If making you stay with Padme and I will get you to open up and then sleep we'll make you do it until your thirty! Ahsoka winced. That was no empty threat.
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Padme had Ahsoka's spot in the middle of the bed all set up and ready. The pillows had been plumped and the covers pulled back. Grinning Anakin tossed Ahsoka lightly into the bed. The Togruta glared at her big brother before squeaking as Padme pulled up the covers and tucked her in tightly.
"Now Ahsoka Tano-Skywalker you are going to tell us just why you are up so late and scared." Anakin joined his wife and sister, giving Ahsoka The Look. The Look that meant she was going to spill her guts whether she wanted to or not and it would just be faster for her spill them on her own.
"I'm scared I'm going to become like Boba..." Her voice was muffled. Padme frowned.
"What was that Soka?"
"I'm afraid I'm going to become like Boba!" She wiggled deeper under the covers. She refused to look at her siblings.
"What do you mean Snips?"
"It's just that...I'm afraid if I see you guys get killed, I'll become so angry like Boba all I'll want is to have revenge!" Anakin shook his head.
"I don't believe that Snips." His baby sister sat up, staring at him with wide eyes.
"It could! I mean Boba loved his dad and I'm sure Jango was a great dad to him. I love you all and you're all a great family to me. But I'm a child of war too like Boba and I don't want to loose you and..."
"Stop right there Ahsoka." Anakin pushed his sister gently back down. "You know what we believe about death."
"There is no death, there is the Force," Ahsoka recited as Padme stroked her her head. "That means when we die we just return to the Force."
"Which means if something happens we'll never truly be gone," Padme pointed out. "We'll always be there watching out for you because we'll be a part of the Force which is always with you."
"Oh...I guess I forgot." Ahsoka snuggled down under the covers, feeling better. "It's just I heard everyone talking about Boba and I guess..."
"You thought you and he were more alike than you thought?" Anakin climbed back under the covers and the pair snuggled the Padawan in between them. "You're not like Boba Ahsoka. For one thing if something happens to us there are so many people ready to step in and help take care of you. They won't let you loose your way. For another thing I know you and you would never let vengence become the only focus in your life. You're so strong Ahsoka and brave and..."
The Padawan listened to her brother's voice. There was a reason he was her hero and it wasn't because he was this powerful Jedi Knight that could cut down a ton of battle droids in a minute without blinking an eye or brought fearsome bounty hunters and pirates to their knees in fear. It was because of this. Because with a single word, one gesture he could banish all those unseen monsters that plagued her and kept her up at night.
Ahsoka yawned softly and nuzzled deeper into the pillow that smelled of flowers like Padme and oil like Anakin. To others it might have been a strange scent, but to her it was home. Just like home smelled like fruit from Analise or tea from Obi-Wan or deep and heavy incense from Papa Plo.
Her eyelids felt heavy and she yawned. She could feel the love and protection of her big brother, her Master, her hero covering her in an even softer blanket than the one tucked in tight around her. She really was far too big to be sharing a bed with her brother and his wife, but right then Ahsoka was far too sleepy to put an argument.
"Ani I think she fell asleep," Padme gently pointed out. Anakin sighed.
"And here I was doing such a good job of giving a big pep talk." Padme giggled quietly and leaned over her sleeping sister to kiss her husband.
"I'm sure you'll get plenty more chances Ani. It's the perfect practice for when we have our own little ones." She pulled away grinning. "And I hope they are just like Ahsoka and Analise and you."
"We'll be in trouble then."
In between them Ahsoka smiled. Even as she fell off the edge into sleep she heard their words.
That night Ahsoka didn't have nightmares of bloody battles, of loosing her family.
Instead Ahsoka's dreams were of a large garden where she was surrounded by more nieces and nephews than she could count.
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Translations
vod'e-brothers, sisters, comrades
