Chapter 49. Read it, review it, and tell me what you people think. This is just here for people to enjoy. Enjoy! :)

NOTE: I don't own ANY of the characters! All characters go to their respective company creators.


Chapter 49: Frozen Part 4

NOTE: All dialogue that is in Bold and Italics in this transcript means that the characters are singing

[Alphonse rides his horse through the deep snow in the forest]

Alphonse: Ed! Ed! Ed, It's me, Al. Your brother who didn't mean to make you freeze the summer. I'm sorry. It's...it's all my f-f-fault.

[He hears a wolf howling]

Alphonse: Of course, none of it would have happened if he'd just told me his secret.

"Un, no! News flash! None of it would have happened if you just thought smart and NOT pushed your sibling over the edge!" Zilla criticized.

[He chuckles to herself]

Alphonse: He's a stinker.

"YOU'RE the stinker!"

"I'm right here you know!" Anna said.

"So what else is new?"

[Suddenly a tree branch snaps startling his horse knocking Alphonse flying off as he sits up the horse start running away]

Alphonse: Oh, no. No, no, no. Come back. No, no, no, no! Oookay.

[Alphonse goes to grab a nearby branch to pull herself up but the trees snaps up dumping all its snow on top of Alphonse. Later that night as Alphonse tries to walk in the snow]

Alphonse: Snow, it had to be snow, he couldn't have had tropical magic that covered the fjords in white sand and warm...

[He sees smoke the distance]

Alphonse: Fire!

"Probably would have been the same in vice versa." Dream shrugged.

[Suddenly he goes tumbling down the snowy hill and lands in the lake at the bottom, he stands and tries to walk out of the water]

Alphonse: Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.

"Well maybe you should have dressed up in warmer clothing!" Wasabi said.

[With his pants frozen he walks to the house up ahead of his, he climbs the step and knocks the snow off the sign above him]

Alphonse: Wandering Oaken's Trading Post.

[He then notices a much smaller sign under it]

Alphonse: Ooh! And sauna.

"Wait! It's both a trading post AND a sauna?" Zilla asked in awe. "Wow! I got a plan a vacation there."

[Alphonse enters the building and takes a few steps inside when he hears someone calling out]

Oaken: Hoo-hoo.

[He turns to see a man sat behind a counter]

Oaken: Big summer blow out. Half off swimming suits, clogs, and a sun balm of my own invention, yah?

"Uh, he does realize that an enchanted blizzard just happened right?" Dream asked.

"Well can't fault him on something that happened at the spur of the moment." Zilla said.

Alphonse: Oh, great. For now, uh...how about boots? Winter boots and jackets?

[He points to the area, which is empty except for one outfit, a pair of boots, a rope and axe]

Oaken: That would be in our winter department.

"Wow." Dream said impressed.

"His shop definitely come prepared." Hiro said in the same manner.

[He picks up the outfit, boots and takes it to the counter]

Alphonse: Oh. Um...I was just wondering, has another young man, the King perhaps, I don't know, passed through here?

Oaken: Only one crazy enough to be out in this storm is you, friend.

[Suddenly the front door opens and Krista enters completely covered in ice]

Oaken: [to Krista] Hoo-hoo. Big summer blow out.

[Kristoff walks to the counter and looks at Anna]

Krista: Carrots.

Alphonse: Huh?

Krista: [she leans closer to him] Behind you.

Alphonse: Oh, right. Excuse me.

[He steps out of her way, Krista picks up the carrots and tosses them on the counter]

Oaken: Woh, a real howler in July, yes?

[Krista goes and picks up the rope and axe from the sparse winter department]

Oaken: Where ever could it be coming from?

Krista: The North Mountain.

Alphonse: [quietly to himself] North Mountain.

"Well ain't THAT a coincidence!" Zilla said sarcastically.

"Well at least he has a tour guide now." Dream joked.

[Krista places the axe and rope on the counter next to the carrots]

Oaken: That'll be forty.

Krista: Forty? No, ten.

Oaken: Oh dear, that's no good.

[Referring to the rope and axe]

Oaken: See this is from our winter stock, where supply and demand have a big problem.

"Wow! And just like that any likability for this side character is thrown right out the window!" Zilla said looking pissed.

"More like the shitter." Dream said.

"Like Weaseltoes."

"Weselton!"

"Whatever."

[She looks out the window where his sled is stocked up with blocks of ice]

Krista: You wanna talk about a supply and demand problem? I sell ice for a living.

Anna: Ooh, that's a rough business to be in right now. I mean, that is really...

[Krista gives him a cold look]

Anna: Ahem...that's unfortunate.

"Smooth." Zilla said.

Oaken: Still forty. But I will throw in a visit to Oaken's sauna. [waving] Hoo-hoo! Hi, family.

[Krista and Alphonse turn to see a family waving through the window of the sauna]

Family: Hoo-hoo!

[Anna waves back]

Once again everyone cringes from the adult humor.

"JESUS CHRIST! AS IF WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH!" Zilla cried out in pain.

"But they're just trying to appease to all audiences!" Phoenix said in Disney's defense.

"Which is just as backlashing bad as Dalek trying to tell knock-knock jokes!" Zilla countered.

"Zilla does bring up a very good point." Litwick said. "Back then in the Golden Age and Silver Age of Disney, they would appease to all audiences in a subtle way that adults might catch but children won't, but all ages will still get a laugh out of it. But this is modern age Disney. You try to openly appeal to all audiences which the adult will cringe in fear of scarring their children for life. In fact the director of Frozen almost got sued by angry parents."

"Exactly! If they wanted to appeal to all audiences they have to do it subtle manner." Zilla said. "Whatever confrontation pops up, they shouldn't be expected to just run and hide."

Suddenly there is knock at the door.

"It's Thorongil!" 3P said in horror.

"Run and hide!" Zilla said in a panick

And everybody does. Thor enters holding a piece of paper while everyone is crammed into the closet

"Hey, guys! You were right! It is easy to become an actor! I got my acting certification in just one day!" Thor said all excited.

"How is that possible?" Phoenix whispered.

"Shh!" Zilla hissed.

"Where'd you guys go? Oh, wait, I should stay in character." Thor said clearing his throat.

Thor: Hey, you guys, where are you?

(Everyone groans and plugs their ears)

I have come to play my part! I am here for that!

Do not forget me! Do not forget my name! 2460-oooooone!

Hmmm, they don't seem to be here. Maybe they're in the lobby.

Thor leaves to search for everyone. Once he leaves everyone falls out of the closet

"Insert coming out of the closet joke here." Zilla said groaning in pain.

Krista: Ten's all I got. Help me out.

Oaken: Okay.

[He puts the carrots forward on the counter]

Oaken: Ten will get you this and no more.

Alphonse: Okay, just tell me one thing. What was happening on the North Mountain? Did it seem magical?

[Krista pulls down the scarf on her face and looks at Alphonse]

Krista: Yes! Now, back up while I deal with this crook here.

[Suddenly Oaken stands revealing his very tall stature]

Oaken: What did you call me?

"Oh boy, you shouldn't have said that." Hiro said

[Oaken walks outside carrying Krista with one arm]

Krista: Okay. Okay, I...

[Krista hits her head on the sign then Oaken throws him]

Krista: Ow! Woh!

[Krista lands in the snow ahead]

Oaken: Bye bye!

"Hey look on the bright side. At least you land on a comfy pillow." Dream said.

[Oaken walks back inside and slams the door, as she sits up Sven comes over to him]

Krista: No, Sven, I didn't get your carrots.

[Sven huffs his disappointment]

Krista: But I did find us a place to sleep.

[Referring to the dilapidated barn behind them]

Krista: And it's free.

"Life sucks." Zilla said.

[Inside the Oaken's Trading Post Alphonse watches in shock as Oaken gets back behind the counter]

Oaken: I'm sorry about this violence. I will add a quart of lutefisk, so we'll have good feelings. Just the outfit and boots, yah?

[Alphonse looks down at Krista's supplies on the counter]

Alphonse: Uh...

[He looks out the window. Inside the barn Krista, resting on some hay she starts singing "Reindeer Are Better Than People" to Sven]

"Oh, yay, another underwritten song to rape us with its blandness." Zilla said sarcastically. "Yeah, you thought the first song was bad? Just listen to the lyrics on this one."

Krista: Reindeers are better than people. Sven, don't you think that's true?

[Pretending to be Sven singing]

Krista: Yeah, people will beat you and curse you and cheat you. Every one of em's bad, except you.

[She pats Sven]

Krista: Oh, thanks, buddy.

[Carries on singing]

Krista: But people smell better than reindeers. Sven, don't you think I'm right?

[Pretending to sing as Sven again]

Krista: That's once again true, for all except you.

[Singing as herself again]

Krista: You got me. Let's call it a night.

[Being Sven again]

Krista: Good night.

[As herself]

Krista: Don't let the frostbite bite.

"Wow. That's the kind of laziness that you only dream about. You know, because you're so fucking lazy." Zilla criticized. "I mean, it's like if Homer Simpson, Garfield, Snoopy, and Al Bundy all procrastinated to the last minute and finally came up with these lyrics. I mean, are they even trying? Anyone could come up with this shit!"

[After Krista finishes singing suddenly Alphonse opens the barn door and enters making Krista and Sven sit up with a start]

Alphonse: Nice duet.

Krista: Oh, it's just you. What do you want?

"I like this girl, because that's the same reaction I make." Zilla smirked.

"Oh shut it." Dream said.

Alphonse: I want you to take me up the North Mountain.

[Krista lays back on the hay and puts his hat over his eyes]

Krista: I don't take people places.

Anna: Let me rephrase that...

[He throws a sack of supplies into Krista's lap making him sit up]

Krista: Ooph!

Alphonse: Take me up the North Mountain. Please.

[Krista opens the bag and finds the rope and axe she'd wanted to buy from Oaken]

Alphonse: Look, I know how to stop this winter.

[Krista sighs not believing him, she lays back down on the hay and puts her hat over her eyes]

Krista: We leave at dawn...and you forgot the carrots for Sven.

[A bag containing the carrots hits Krista in the face]

Alphonse: Oops. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't...

[He clears her throat and catches herself]

Alphonse: We leave now. Right now.

[He steps outside and waits, Krista watches walk out then offers Sven a carrot who takes a bite and then Krista has a bite]

Alphonse: You- (Animal Growling) (Crying out)

"Wow. Someone's impatient." Dream said.

"Well to be fair he needs to find his brother." Phoenix said.

"Fair enough."

[Later that night Krista takes Alphonse in his sled, pulled by Sven, as they head toward the North Mountain]

Krista: Hang on! We like to go fast.

[Alphonse leans back and puts her feet up on the sled's dash]

Alphonse: I like fast!

Krista: Woh! Woh, woh, woh! Get your feet down. This is fresh lacquer. Seriously, were you raised in a barn?

[She spits on dash to clean it, some if her spit hits Alphonse in the face]

Alphonse: Ew! No, I was raised in a castle.

"I swear if I see another gross humor scene that is not funny, I will rip this movie a new one!" Zilla growled in anger.

Krista: Mm. So uh...tell me, what made the King go all ice-crazy?

Alphonse: Oh well, it was all my fault. I...I got engaged, but then he freaked out because I'd only just met her, you know, that day. And he said he wouldn't bless the marriage, and...

"If only that honesty was throughout this film." Hiro said.

Krista: Wait. You got engaged to someone you just met that day?

"That's the same reaction we all had!"

Alphonse: Yeah. Anyway, I got mad and so he got mad and then he tried to walk away, and I grabbed his glove...

Krista: Hang on! You mean to tell me you got engaged to someone you just met that day?!

Alphonse: Yes. Pay attention. But the thing is he wore the gloves all the time, so I just thought, maybe he has a thing about dirt.

Krista: Didn't your parents ever warn you about strangers?

"Are you gonna let him finish the story?" Merida asked.

[He looks at Krista and slides away]

Alphonse: Yes, they did. But Hanna is not a stranger.

Krista: Oh yeah? What's her last name?

Alphonse: Of-the-Southern-Isles?

"Okay that's NOT a name, that's a title! And not even a good title!" Zilla said.

Krista: What's her favorite food?

Alphonse: Sandwiches.

Krista: Best friend's name?

Alphonse: Probably John.

"And who the hell is John!?"

Krista: Eye color?

Alphonse: Dreamy.

"So you were asleep?"

"Guess Hans was figment of Anna's imagination." Dream giggled a joke.

"After what transpired today, I wish." Anna said sulking.

Krista: Foot size?

Alphonse: Foot size doesn't matter.

Krista: Have you had a meal with her yet? What if you hate the way she eats? What if you hate the way she picks her nose?

Alphonse: Picks his nose?

Krista: And eats it.

Of course everyone cringed in disgust.

"OKAY THAT'S IT! IMMA KILL IT!" Zilla shouted.

"NO!" Litwick called. "Quick, help me pin him!"

"Right!"

Everyone instantly jumped on Zilla trying to restrain him, but he was too strong.


5 minutes later

Zilla was knocked out in his chair. Everyone who pitched in was breathing heavily.

"Man, he's strong." Phoenix breathed.

"What did you use on him Litwick?" Dream asked.

"A special tranquilizer potion." Litiwck said breathing heavily. "It'll keep him knocked out for 5 minutes."

Alphonse: Excuse me, miss. She is a princess.

Kristoff: All people do it.

Alphonse: Ew! Look, it doesn't matter, it's true love!

Krista: Doesn't sound like true love.

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Hiro asked.

Alphonse: Are you some sort of love expert?

Krista: No. But I have friends who are.

Alphonse: You have friends who are love experts? I'm not buying it

Krista: Stop talking.

[Sensing something Krista stops the sled]

Alphonse: No, no, no. No, no, no. I'd like to meet these...

[Krista puts his hand over Alphonse's mouth]

Krista: No, I mean it.

[Alphonse shoves her hand away from his mouth and goes to say something]

Krista: Sshhh!

[Krista stands, holds up the lantern and looks around them when suddenly she notices a pack of wolves approaching them from behind]

Krista: Sven, go. Go!

"Ow! My head." Zilla groaned just waking up.

"Sorry, pal." Litwick said.

"You seriously need anger management therapy." Dream said.

[Sven takes off]

Alphonse: What are they?

Krista: Wolves.

Alphonse: Wolves?

[The wolves chase after them]

Alphonse: What do we do?

Krista: I got this. Just don't fall off and don't get eaten.

Alphonse: But I wanna help!

Krista: No!

Alphonse: Why not?

Krista: Because I don't trust your judgment.

"Oh! Sick burn!" Zilla chuckled

Alphonse: Excuse me?!

[Krista pushes Alphonse back as she kicks off a wolf jumping at them]

Krista: Who marries a man she just met?

"Are you seriously having this conversation while you're being chased!?" Dream asked.

Alphonse: It's true love!

[Alphonse grabs Krista's lute and swings it at her head]

Krista: Woh!

[But what he was aiming for and hits is one of the wolves jumping at them]

"WHAO!" Everyone reacted in awe and amazement.

"Anna!" Elsa breathed.

"Wow! That was awesome!" Zilla said excitingly.

Krista: Woh.

[Suddenly one of the wolves grabs Krisa and yanks him off the sled]

Alphonse: Kristina!

[Krista grabs the loose rope hanging from the back of the and gets dragged behind]

Krista: It's Krista!

"Well she's a goner." Zilla said.

[Two of the wolves start attacking Krista, Alphonse uses the torch to fire a blanket and throws it at the wolves]

Alphonse: Duck!

[As the wolves continue to chase them, Krista pulls himself back onto the sled crawling up the rope]

Krista: You almost set me on fire!

Alphonse: But I didn't.

[Alphonse gives Kristoff a hand to pull him back onto the sled, at the same time they notice a cliff up ahead]

Alphonse: Get ready to jump, Sven!

Krista: You don't tell him what to do!

[Krista shoves a satchel into his arms and herself too]

Alphonse: Hey!

Krista: I do!

[He throws on Krista onto Sven's back]

Krista: Jump, Sven!

[She cuts the harness to the sled just as Sven jumps and lands with Alphonse on the other side, Krista jumps from the sled and also lands handing by his hands. She looks down and sees her sled burst into flames as it hits the ground]

"Wait, did that sled just exploded?" Zilla asked.

"Yeah… It's just… exploded." Dream said narrowing her eyes.

"What, was there some TNT on that sled?"

Krista: Ooh. But I just paid it off.

[Suddenly she starts to slip off the edge]

Krista: Uh-oh. No, no, no. Ah! No, no, no, no, no!

[Suddenly an axe, tied to a rope, comes flying over to her and lands in the snow right in front of him]

Alphonse: Grab on!

[Krista quickly grabs the axe]

Alphonse: Pull, Sven! Pull!

[Sven with the help of Alphonse pull Krista up and he rolls onto his back exhausted. Alphonse looks down the cliff at the burning sled]

Alphonse: Woh. I'll replace your sled and everything in it.

[Krista groans and covers her eyes with her arm]

Alphonse: And I understand if you don't wanna help me anymore.

[Alphonse starts to walk off sadly when Sven nudges Kristoff]

Krista: Of course I don't wanna help her anymore. In fact, this whole thing has ruined me for helping anyone ever again.

"I have to agree! So far Alphonse has done nothing but cause problems for everyone! Seriously it's just a never ending pile of fuck ups!" Zilla said. "In fact lets list some, shall we? Waking up in the middle of the night to play, not listening to slow down, getting married to someone just met in one day, pushing the emotional buttons, and now THIS!"

"Yep. You definitely need anger management therapy." Dream said.

"Oh shut the hell up."

[Krista pretends to be Sven answering himself]

Krista: But she'll die on her own!

[As herself]

Krista: I can live with that.

[Pretending to be Sven again. Then as herself]

Krista: Sometimes I really don't like you.

[Shouting to Alphonse as he's walking away in the background]

Krista: Hold up! We're coming.

[Sven licks Krista's face in approval Alphonse stops and turns]

Alphonse: You are?! I mean, sure. I'll let you tag along.

[Sven runs off to catch up with Alphonse, Krista smiles then gets up to join them.]

"Aw! That so sweet!" Honey Lemon said.

"Why is that sweet?" Anna asked.

"Well obviously Kristoff is a gentleman." Merida pointed out.

"Meaning…"

"He might have a thing for you." Zilla said.

"WHAT!?" Anna and Kristoff gawked in unison.

"That's j-just r-ridicules!" Anna said blushing red.

"And how long have you two known each other?" Zilla asked.

"M-More than one day…?" Kristoff asked blushing too.

"I have to agree with Anna." Dream said.

"Why is that?" Zilla asked.

"Well just like in Litwick's 'How to Train Your Dragon' AU FanFiction, I think Alphonse will end up with Hanna." Dream said.

"Didn't we already have a conversation about how you can't marry someone you just met?"

"Doesn't mean I have to agree with it."

"Alright. I bet you that Anna and Kristoff will get together in a romantic relationship. Or in this case Alphonse and Krista." Zilla dared.

"Alright. I'll take that bet. I bet Alphonse and Hanna will end up together and live happily ever after." Dream responded.

"You're on."

Both Zilla and Dream stared down each other with intense sinister smirks. While everyone else was backing away slowly in fear.

"This is not going to end well." Litwick said.


Chapter 49 Complete! And so the adventure begins! Will Alphonse bring back Edward and end the eternal winter? And who will win this little bet? Stay tuned fro more! Read it, review it, and tell me what you people think. This is just here for people to enjoy. :)