CHAPTER 54
"A transmission from Piett was received a short time ago," Luke announced to his parents as he joined them in the infirmary. "He has just entered the system and figures he'll be here within the next three hours."
"Good," Anakin replied, anxious to be released from his enforced captivity. "Not soon enough for me."
Padmé smiled, knowing how impatient her husband was to resume his life. Secretly she was glad that they had been delayed in their departure. Knowing Anakin as well as she did, she knew that he never would have submitted to the rest he needed to recover otherwise.
"No word from Han?" Leia asked her anxiety evident in her voice.
"I'm afraid not," Luke replied. "But don't worry, Leia," he added. "You know Han. He's bound to just show up unannounced any time now."
"Does he know where we'll be after we leave here?" Padmé asked.
"I told him we'd be on Coruscant," Leia replied. "I didn't know what else to tell him. It's not like we can go back to the Alliance."
"No, I think we've burned that bridge," Luke told his sister.
She snorted. "No, they burned it, Luke," she retorted. "Mon Mothma will be sorry she accused us of treason."
Anakin frowned, not liking the way his daughter was talking. She sounds like me, he reflected. Unforgiving and vengeful.
"Soon all will be revealed and Mon Mothma will understand the necessity of all this," Anakin declared. "Right now we have to hide the truth from her and your other allies. One day they will understand, Leia."
Leia wasn't as confident as he was, and didn't try to hide it. "So what are we going to do?" she asked. "Luke and I? We can't let it be known that our parents are the emperor and empress, or else your pretense will be destroyed."
"Yes, I know," Anakin said, frowning. "This is something I hadn't anticipated when we set out to rescue you and Luke."
"I guess not," Leia replied, reminded all of a sudden of a similar moment on the Death Star months earlier.
This is some rescue! When you came in here didn't you have a plan for getting out??
He's the brains, sweetheart!
Typical Han Solo, not thinking about the future, just acting on impulse. Leia suddenly realized how alike Han and her father were, and it made her wonder if that was part of the reason that they couldn't get along. Despite the fact that she and Han loved one another, they still drove one another crazy. Was that the reason her father and her drove one another crazy? But I don't love him, she told herself adamantly. He may be my father, I may owe him my life, but I will never love him…never.
Anakin watched his daughter as she went through her thought process. Not if you never forgive me, Leia, not if you never let me in.
She looked over at him quickly, forgetting momentarily about his telepathic prowess. In his eyes she could see that she had hurt him, and she looked away.
"I'm going for a walk," Anakin said gruffly.
Padmé was confused by his sudden sullenness, and looked over at her children for an explanation.
"What was that about?" she asked, knowing that there was much that went on that she wasn't privy to between the three of them.
Luke shrugged, knowing, but not wanting to be the one to tell her. "I think Leia can tell you," he said, looking at his sister. "I'm going to go talk to him."
Padmé watched her son leave the room and then turned to Leia. "I don't understand you, Leia," she said. "I truly don't."
"What do you mean?" Leia asked.
"I think you know," Padmé replied, growing tired of her daughter's attitude. "How long are you going to hurt him? Does it somehow erase what happened in the past when you see that pain in his eyes?"
Leia folded her arms over her chest, becoming defensive with her mother's accusations.
"Of course not," she retorted. "Nothing can make up for the past."
"No, you're right there," Padmé agreed. "I should know, for I lost more than any one because of what happened to your father. You seem to think that you are the only one who is hurting because of the past, that you are the only one who has the right to resentment. Well let me assure you, that is not the case. I'm not trying to belittle what happened to you, I know what Darth Vader did to you."
"If you know, then surely you can see why I can never forgive him," Leia replied, her voice rising with emotion.
"Do you know how much you are like your father, Leia?" Padmé returned. "So much that it frightens me. You see, part of the reason he turned to the Dark Side was out of a sense of resentment. He never forgave the Jedi Council for not allowing him to go to his mother when he was sure that she needed him. His mother died, brutally tortured at the hands of Tusken Raiders, and Anakin had spent weeks suffering from prophetic dreams foretelling her death. And yet the Council forbade him to go to her, and, being the dutiful padawan that he was, he obeyed them. He never forgave them for that, and it ate away at him, allowing Palpatine to sow the seeds of darkness in him."
"So what are you saying, Mother?" Leia countered, inwardly shaken by Padmé's revelation. "That you think I'm going to turn to the Dark Side?"
"No, I'm not saying that," Padmé replied. "But I am saying that the negative feelings you are holding onto so tightly will destroy you if you don't learn to deal with them and get past them. Your father is living proof of the destructiveness of anger, of resentment."
Leia turned away from her mother, unable to face her any longer. "I am trying," she said at last.
"Are you?" Padmé challenged her. "Your father has saved your life twice now," she reminded her. "And saved Han's as well from a life of servitude to Jabba the Hutt. He has brought the four of us together; perhaps in a rather unconventional way, but were it not for his determination, we might never have found one another again. And now he is willing to devote his life to reverse the destructive influence his master had on the galaxy."
"An influence that he had a hand in," Leia pointed out.
Padmé shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know how to get through to you, Leia," she said softly. "I thought that when you agreed to donate blood to save his life that you had finally accepted him, that things would be different. But they aren't, are they? You still resent him, you still haven't forgiven him. Will you ever? Or will you hold onto that resentment for the rest of your life?"
Leia frowned, not wishing to think about what her mother was saying. She didn't want to think about it, didn't want to reflect on the emotions that continued to confuse her. It was far easier just to see things in black and white; Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader, and Darth Vader was evil. Period. End of story. What more was there to say?
"I think I understand," Padmé said at last, seeing that Leia was not about to respond. "Well I'm sorry that you feel that way, Leia. If you gave him half a chance, I think you'd see that he is a remarkable man and more than worthy of a second chance. But you have to try, Leia; you have to let go of your anger, or you will never see him as anything but the monster who hurt you in the past."
Padmé left Leia at this point, having said her piece.
"It's not so easy, Mother," Leia said softly, as a tear ran down her cheek. "If only it was."
7
