A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. You guys are amazing. I hope you like this chapter, and soon Kurt will start to remember everything.
Also I am looking for a Beta for a story that I am in the process of planning. If you're interested in helping me out, please let me know. X
Chapter 44
"Blaine," Kurt whispered, making the curly haired boy jump. He was certain that Kurt had fallen asleep again, his head resting comfortably on his chest, arms tight around him.
"Yeah Kurt?" Blaine smiled trying not to sound as though he was falling asleep.
"You said if I needed to talk to you..." Kurt looked down sucking his lip.
"You can talk to me whenever you want to." Blaine said gently, sitting himself up hoping that could wake him up.
"My head feels fuzzy." He whispers looking down.
"Fuzzy how?" Blaine replied softly. "Tell me what you're thinking."
"It's not thinking." Kurt frowned looking adorable. "It's...It's little memories."
"Okay? Want to talk about them?" Blaine says softly.
"I just...I just don't understand how my mind keeps changing." He sighs looking frustrated. "One minute I'm a stupid little boy, and now I'm this." Kurt growled, slapping his hands against his knees.
"Stop." Blaine whispered, leaning forward and taking his hands. Kurt looked up at him and then at his hands. "If there's one thing that you're not, it's a stupid little boy." He ran his thumb against his knuckles softly, watching as it made him relax. "You hurt your head pretty bad Kurt, it's not going to just snap back to normal. You're mind is waiting till you're ready."
"I want to be ready now." Kurt whispered, tears in his eyes. "I'm scared."
"What are you scared of?" Blaine asked, pulling him closer. He couldn't hide the small smile that spread across his lips when Kurt moved himself into his lap.
"My memories." Kurt whispered quietly, making Blaine frown.
"What do you mean?"
"I keep remembering this boy." Kurt whispered. "I remembered a little when I was at the school, and then I keep having these dreams about him."
"What happens in the dreams?" Blaine asked, gently rubbing his thumb across any part of skin he could reach.
"He says things, horrible things that upset me, and I wake up in the morning with the words in my head but I don't understand what they mean." Kurt sighed, "See I am stupid."
"You're not stupid." Blaine sighed, rubbing his back. "Your mind is protecting you, that's all."
Kurt looked down, sucking his lip and looking deep in thought. "But how am I ever supposed to get better if my mind wont let me know what I'm getting into?" Kurt asked, looking the most grown up that Blaine had seen him since he met him.
"I don't know, Kurt. I just believe that one day your mind will know you're ready and everything will be okay." Blaine rubbed his cheek. He had to believe that, he just had to. "You should talk to your Dad about this, or Finn."
"Why?" Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes, he didn't want to cry. He felt like a baby when he cried.
"Because they know the boy you're so desperate to remember." Blaine said gently.
"Do you want me to remember?" Kurt whispered. Blaine's opinion meant so much to him. He was sure that if Blaine told him not to push it that he wouldn't.
"I want you safe. And I want you happy." Blaine said honestly. "I just don't want you to forget about me."
"You promised we'd be okay." Kurt smiles, stroking his cheek. "Remember? You said no matter what, you'll still be my best friend."
"And I meant it." Blaine smiles, he leans in and kisses his cheek softly. Kurt smiled, leaning back against him more.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt whispered, sounding so unsure. Blaine hated hearing him sound like that. He was used to him sounding so confident, so happy. Anything else just sounded strange.
"You can ask me anything, Kurt." Blaine whispered. "I'll always do my best to answer."
"What does fag mean?" Kurt asked, he didn't miss the shudder that ran through Blaine's body, or the sadness in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have asked the minute he did. "I...I'm sorry...It..."
"Why do you want to know?" Blaine whispered, he couldn't think about his own emotions the word brought him, or the vivid memories that came with it. He couldn't make this about him, it had to be all about Kurt.
"That's the word the boy keeps using." Kurt whispered. "I just...I don't know what it means."
Blaine nodded, he sucked on his bottom lip and thought for a few moments. Even though Kurt was more mature in his speaking now, he realised that he was still just a child in his mind. A child who was trying so hard to grow up. Blaine decided that he'd tell him what he can. He wasn't going to deny him any more. "It's a really horrible word, Kurt." He started softly. "It's a word that bullies use to torment people who are gay."
"Gay?" Kurt frowned. He had heard that word before, but he couldn't place it.
"It means when a boy loves another boy, or a girl loves a girl." Blaine whispered, watching him closely.
"So I'm gay?" Kurt chewed on his lip.
"Yes. You are." Blaine said softly.
"If people call gay people mean names does that mean that being gay is wrong?" Kurt whispered. The simple question made Blaine's heart break. "Am I wrong?"
"No, Kurt." Blaine breathed, resting his forehead against him. "You are not wrong. Being gay is not wrong. It's just love. The boy that's mean, everyone who says horrible things about gay people, they're the ones that are wrong."
"Okay." Kurt whispered, leaning against the sofa more.
"It gets easier." Blaine said gently, rubbing his cheek softly. "Accepting who you are." He added when Kurt looked at him questioningly. "Believe me, I know."
"You do?" Kurt breathed.
"Yes." He smiles, rubbing his cheek. Kurt nodded, he was still a little confused but he knew that he wouldn't be for long, and if he was then he could talk to Blaine more. "Tomorrow, how about we talk to your dad about what you remember?"
"I..."
"I know you didn't want him to know but I really think he needs to know. Cause then he can help you. More than I can." Blaine whispered, hoping that this would reassure him. "What do you say?"
"Can you be there when I tell him?"
"Anything you want." Blaine whispered, rubbing his back.
"Can we sleep now? You look tired." Kurt smiled, kissing his cheek softly.
"Course." Blaine smiled, he couldn't help but be relieved. He felt like he could sleep for years.
"Thank you for listening and helping Blaine. You're the bestest friend I've ever had." Kurt smiled, resting back against Blaine's chest and smiling when he felt his arms wrap tight around him.
"You're mine too." Blaine whispered back, he pressed a soft kiss against his forehead before closing his eyes and falling fast asleep, with Kurt laying beside him watching him all night, a smile playing on his lips.
