Mass Effect: Event Horizon
A Mass Effect Fanfiction
By Drussius
Chapter Fifty-Three: Comfort
.
Archive Chamber, Prothean Ruin…
A moan of contentment passed Illitha's lips as she stood beneath the stream of cool water, letting weeks of accumulated dirt and grime wash away from her skin. The doctor had done her best to clean the asari up during the few days prior while she was confined to her bed in the infirmary, but it just wasn't the same as an actual shower. And in that moment, as she let the water run over her head, she was more thankful than she could say that she had saved the civilians from the Reapers at the remains of F.O.B. Alpha-5.
Not that she ever regretted saving them. She had been happy to do it. But when she'd been informed that one of them, a water filtration technician by trade, had constructed a filtration system and shower using some of the Cerberus tech they'd captured, she had been ecstatic. She hadn't been able to truly bathe in weeks… she'd been limited to washing important bits with water from her canteen during the rare moments when she could find a little privacy. But given the scarcity of fresh water while she was in the city, those opportunities had been few and far between. It was better to drink the water than wash with it. Truth be told, she'd started to feel absolutely wretched as a result of the built-up grime.
It was an ingenious little system the young woman had constructed. The walls of the stall had been formed from a patchwork of pieces from Cerberus crates, and the filtration system had been more-or-less preassembled… Cerberus needed to drink like everyone else. A series of tubes and a suction pump pulled water out of the brackish moat that surrounded the Prothean archive, heating it and filtering the impurities out of it before spraying it into the stall. Pre-existing holes in the walkway that encircled the archive allowed the water to drain away naturally.
Stacks of crates had been piled around the area to provide privacy for people to dress and undress, and a Cerberus generator and portable lighting unit outside the stall provided light to the area. Although it was a little awkward at first for the asari to hear so many people milling around in the same room where she was bathing, once the water started pouring over her, any embarrassment instantly fled.
It had been four days since Prathus's death, and while the pain of that loss had not faded in the slightest, the pain of the asari's wounds had dulled considerably. With the regenerative stims pumped into her system and a few days of bed rest, the injuries were well on their way to healing. Another day or perhaps two would see her fully recovered. It was a relief to have the benefits of proper medical treatment available once again. Already, the small shrapnel wounds all over her body were gone… not even scars remained. Only the stab wound in her forearm and the gunshot that had pierced her abdomen still bothered her at all.
The captain remained comatose, but the doctor had repeatedly assured Illitha that the elder asari's wounds were healing nicely. Scans showed healthy brain activity, and the expectation was that the former commando would wake at any moment. Given how close the captain had come to death, it was as favorable an outcome as anyone could have expected. Illitha was desperate to see her captain's eyes open again. She'd been without the guidance of someone with experience for so long, and it would be a tremendous relief once she had that stabilizing force in her life once again. She was just trying to figure out how to pass command to her employer without it seeming out-of-place to the people following her.
"Illitha?"
Rachel's voice came from just outside the shower stall, and the asari gasped, reflexively drawing her arms in close to her body, hiding herself as best she could. Even though the shower had a solid door to hide her from view, she just couldn't help her instinctual response in that situation.
"Uh… y-yes?" she called out. She had the sinking feeling that if the blonde was interrupting her shower, something bad had happened.
"Private Rowan says there's nothing he can do," the blonde reported.
Illitha's shoulders sagged, and she nodded slowly. She had expected as much. While the surviving Alliance engineer was becoming an expert at improvising and repurposing all sorts of tech to suit their needs, there were some tasks they just didn't have the right materials to accomplish. As an engineer herself, Illitha understood that sometimes a result was simply unattainable.
"He's really sorry," Rachel continued, "but he says we just don't have wiring that will stand up to the current that the reactor puts out. At least not without excavating walls all over the ruin to find the main line in the outlying areas…"
"That would take weeks," Illitha shook her head. "He… I… Tell him I appreciate his efforts."
"Aye aye, Spectre," Illitha could hear the blonde's grin in her tone. She always grinned when using that particular title.
"What about… M-Mick?" she hoped she'd gotten the name right. She'd done her best to memorize the names and faces of everyone that was now essentially under her command, but she was still mixing them up from time to time, especially in regard to the security personnel they'd rescued from Calitori Crater. She knew she wouldn't have that problem after she'd had a chance to talk to them all in person, but since she had been working from a datapad with names, photos and dry statistics about her people, it had all started to blur together.
I will have to walk around and talk to everyone once I am finished bathing… Then I will not have this issue anymore.
"Last update I got from him said he's making progress. But the shuttle engines aren't yet running. Should I send Private Rowan up to give him a hand?"
"No," Illitha made her decision quickly. "L-Let him know he can have support if he needs it. But give him the opportunity to make good on his offer. I-I do not want him to feel as though we have no confidence in his abilities."
"Okay. I'll pass along the message. What do you want Rowan doing in the meantime?"
"I… H-have him break into the encryption on the omni-tools we collected from the b-bodies of the Cerberus troops. Wipe their memory cores and g-give one to Jay, Elliot, and anyone else who doesn't already have one."
"We should set up a handful of squad channels and two or three for your entire command too," Rachel suggested. "Quick communications presets that we can access by voice command in combat…"
"That is a good idea," Illitha nodded. Inwardly, she sighed. My command… What did I ever do to deserve a command? I lied… She shook her head in disgust. However, the talk of communications brought another idea to mind. "W-When he is finished with the omni-tools, give him my helm and ask him to install an internal earpiece and microphone so that I can communicate without the need to activate my omni's systems."
"Aye aye, Spectre," she could tell by the audible rap of a boot against the walkway and the sharp whoosh of cloth quickly changing configuration that the blonde had saluted.
Illitha shook her head again, though this time she couldn't help smiling. She wasn't sure what she would have done had Rachel not been with her through the entire odyssey of the war to date. Thinking of all the support the blonde had given her helped her to push her misgivings over command to the back of her mind. She found herself blushing instead as her thoughts turned to more romantic areas regarding the young human, and reprimanded herself for letting her imagination shift in that direction. Rachel was a wonderful friend. But she was not interested in more.
She was just losing herself once again in the soothing coolness of the water cascading over her when the sound of heavy boots caught her attention, and a gravelly voice interrupted her relaxation.
"Hey asari…"
Illitha's eyes narrowed at both the sound of the mercenary's voice and the chosen form of address. During my shower? Seriously? Can these reports not wait until I am dressed and elsewhere? She could forgive Rachel for the interruption, but she could also admit that in the blonde's case, it was largely due to her admiration for the girl that she hadn't been so upset the first time.
"What is it?" she asked with a sigh.
"We have a complete success on the op," Zaeed reported. "They never saw us coming. One working Cerberus shuttle is now parked outside. Plus a half-dozen modified Mattock rifles, a case of proximity mines, a case of grenades and two Cerberus automated turrets that were stowed in the deployment racks."
"Modified rifles? Modified how?"
"They've been converted for fully-automatic fire. But the Mattock was definitely the baseline design. Current registry information embedded in the reader chip calls them 'Harrier' rifles."
"W-Why were the Cerberus troops not using them?" Illitha wondered aloud.
"They were, as it turns out," Zaeed answered her. "I checked the weapons we rounded up from the dead. There are a handful of them mixed in with the Mattocks. It's just a guess, but from the numbers, I think the base troopers were armed with Mattocks, and the ones in the heavy armor were carrying these Harriers."
"Then you sh-should take one for yourself… and w-would you please distribute the others to Rachel, Rivera, Mills, Kilpatrick, and… w-whoever else needs them?" she faltered on any more names. She would have preferred they be given to everyone, but doubted there were enough. The four she had mentioned were the chosen leaders of the four squads she had organized with Rachel's help. She couldn't decide who else should be given better weapons.
"I'll stick with my Mattock," Zaeed muttered. "But I'll see that the right people get the Harriers."
"Thank you."
"One more thing," Zaeed's voice dropped a little. "I have an omni here that I took from the bastard in charge of Cerberus. You're the one that hacks Reaper code without breaking a goddamn sweat. I don't want anyone else trying to break the encryption on it. I'll leave it on this crate."
"What do you hope to find?" Illitha had to ask.
"At the very least, transmission frequencies to contact the Cerberus ship in the system and access codes to their mainframe. Hopefully more information on their ops in the area, but we'll need the first two at the very least if we expect to take that damned ship without them blowing us out of the stars on approach…"
Illitha nodded slowly. It made perfect sense to her, and she'd never even considered it. She sighed. She definitely needed people advising her who had some measure of military training and know-how. Had it been up to her to plan, she would have simply flown out there and tried to dock with the ship by bluffing them on the radio. If Cerberus had an access code requirement or the like, her plan would have seen them destroyed on approach.
Despite this grim realization, as the sound of the mercenary's bootsteps receded, Illitha found herself smiling. While she didn't particularly like Zaeed's attitude and found his intensity a little intimidating, there was one thing she had come to like about dealing with the man. He bristled when she said anything that could be interpreted as her giving him an order, and so she was forced to ask him to do things, like she would have done if she were still just a humble engineer. She enjoyed being able to drop her 'Spectre and Leader' persona now and then, even if it was only with one or two specific people.
She stepped back half a step, closing her eyes and letting the water cascade over her head. She knew she had gone well over the allotted time for her shower, but she doubted anyone would begrudge her the extra minutes. No one had complained when Rachel was in the same position… largely because both of them had been without a shower for weeks. She had truly needed this chance for relaxation…
"Spectre?" An unfamiliar voice from outside the shower interrupted her again.
Really? The asari put a hand to her head, trying to suppress her growing irritation. There were many prices of command, it seemed…
Workroom, Prothean Ruins…
Selura watched as the dark-haired human she had come to know as Kaylee entered the room, together with another woman the asari didn't recognize. Between the two of them, they carried a Cerberus crate filled with what looked like black sand. They placed the crate next to the asari, and Kaylee thanked her companion, sending the girl on her way before turning to face the scientist. Selura regarded the woman with a smile, reaching down and dipping her hand into the rough, almost crystalline material. It felt more like a huge tub of salt than sand to the touch.
Selura had been hard at work for days on Neela's new suit, and had the full body suit finished… minus the armoring. That could come later. She was in the process of assembling filtration elements for the mask, using Neela's original as a guide. She'd been happy to see that Cerberus hadn't destroyed the things they'd taken from her when she was captured.
Over the past few days, she'd spent most of her time working on the suit or spending time by Neela's side. However, when she needed a break and Neela wanted to be alone, she had spent some time talking to the civilians for distraction. This was how she first encountered Kaylee Willis, a geologist that had come in with the group Illitha had rescued from Calitori Crater. While they had been talking, the subject had naturally turned to Neela and her suit… the quarian was the subject of many curious stares and questions among the civilians. Selura had confided her lack of ideas in regard to the problem of building Neela's helmet, and the human woman had offered a solution.
"So this is it?" Selura asked.
"This is it," Kaylee nodded. "It has a silicate structure not unlike actual sand, and when subjected to extreme heat, it melts into a thick, gelatinous material and then crystallizes as it cools. Pockets of it are found in mountains all over Terra Nova. It wasn't hard to dig up."
"Pun intended," Selura snickered at the joke, and the woman's grin told her she was correct.
"There's more in that natural cavern right outside the first door in the ruin if you need it. Melt a bunch of it in a tray or pan, press the mask into it once it's all liquefied, and let it cool. It'll work as a mold. I promise."
"I cannot thank you enough," Selura smiled at the woman. "And Neela will be grateful as well."
"How is she doing?"
"She is… struggling," Selura said softly, her expression clouding with worry. "Prathus was like family to her. It has not been easy. Especially while she has been cooped up in that isolation pod with everyone staring at her…"
"At least you solved that problem," Kaylee pointed out.
Selura nodded. After having children staring at the quarian for the better part of a day, she had seen Neela's agitation growing in leaps and bounds. So she had paused in her work long enough to finish cutting apart the brake assemblies on the pod, and had wheeled Neela into the infirmary, where she could enjoy some privacy.
"Thank you again," Selura reiterated, bending and lifting the crate up onto the table. She was relieved to be able to work without pain once again. After the dose of regenerative medication the doctor had given her, the last of the ache in her arm had faded, and the wounds in her abdomen were gone. She was uninjured for the first time since arriving on Terra Nova. Were it not for Neela's suffering, she would have been happy.
"I'll leave you to your work," Kaylee offered, waving as she stepped out of the room.
Selura smiled at the woman's departure, and started looking around for something heat-resistant that she could use as a melting pot for the silicate material. Her newly-claimed omni-tool had been uploaded with incineration tech – something Illitha had insisted they all have at their disposal – and she knew that the heat of such blasts would be enough to melt the material, but only if she could find a container that wouldn't melt first.
She would have to check on Neela soon, she knew. The quarian had been terribly closed off since Prathus's death, and it hurt the young scientist to be kept at arm's length by the woman she loved. It was clear that Neela was in pain, but Selura had no idea how to help her. She had been afraid over the past couple of days that Neela might decide to break off their relationship. It was painfully obvious that the quarian was struggling over the loss of her friend, and Selura feared that she would decide to distance herself from everyone else to avoid the pain of losing more people she loved. Selura was almost desperate to finish Neela's suit, if only so that she could hold her and try to bring down the wall Neela had put up between them.
A loud tapping upon the stonework of the ruined door startled her out of her search, and she whirled around to face her visitor. She found the teenage boy, Elliot, standing in the gaping hole in the door, grinning at her.
"It's here," the boy announced.
Selura grinned. She had no need to ask what it was that the boy was talking about. She'd spoken with him, and learned that his brother was going with Zaeed as part of the team that was seizing the Cerberus shuttle. She intended to make use of the shuttle's environmental seals and decontamination equipment, to allow Neela to get out of her isolation pod. This would also be her chance to get Neela into her new suit. She just needed to finish the mask. A few hours, and maybe Neela would be free of the pod's confines…
I just hope it cheers her up a bit…
Reaper Facility, Southern Scott…
Yes, yes… There it is…
Aida stared intently at the barely-visible seam running the length of one of the cell's walls, and she found herself grinning at the tiny gap she saw there. She looked around frantically for something that she could jam into that miniscule opening… something long enough to be used as a lever to pry it open. She had no idea what had driven her to begin studying that wall, but she was glad she'd followed her instincts. The whispers in the shadows grew just a tiny bit louder as she sought something… anything… that she could use to enact her escape.
Above her, she spotted a series of long, thin bars upon the ceiling, forming a sort of grate that hung down about a centimeter from the surface over her head. She had often wondered what the purpose of the bars was, as there was no opening for them to cover, and no sign of any other need for them. She leapt and tried to grab them, only managing to finally catch hold of one after several tries. The one she grabbed immediately bent and snapped free of its moorings under her weight, and she crashed to the floor, wincing at the impact.
Once she recovered from the unexpected fall, she turned the broken object over in her hands, staring at it in wonder. It was lighter than she expected, and wasn't a bar at all. It was a hollow section of tubing, with small holes in one side of it. Looking up, she could see the tubing disappear through the ceiling.
It is some sort of dispersal system. It is meant to spray something into the room. Perhaps sanitizer, after the Reapers have executed the occupant… Would they care about sanitation?
The thought was grim, but Aida was ecstatic. That had worked better than she had ever dared hope. For the first time in… she didn't even know how long she'd been stuck in that cell… but for the first time, she felt hope. She placed the tubing on the ground and stomped on one end repeatedly, flattening out the material as much as she was able. Then she picked it up, her hands shaking with excitement… or perhaps as a result of hunger… and returned to the wall. She carefully worked the flattened end into the gap in the surface, and then pulled on the tubing with all of her might, trying to pry the door open. It was a desperate plan, but somehow, she knew it would work. She knew she would be able to get out. And once she did, she would escape from the facility or would die trying…
She worked at her task until she was horribly overheated and her mouth was dry. The tubing was slowly being twisted into a shape that no longer resembled its original form by the pressure placed on it. However, after what seemed like an eternity, there was a sudden, loud crack, and the entire wall shifted outward several inches. The sudden widening of the gap caused Aida's makeshift lever to pop free of its place, and Aida fell backward, striking her head upon the floor. She rolled over with a groan, clutching the back of her head in agony, but the pain only slowed her down for a moment.
It worked!
She scrambled to her feet and over to the opening, and she could see a dimly-lit hallway outside. She braced her shoulder against the door and shoved with all of her might, slowly forcing it open until she could squeeze herself through. When she stumbled out into the hallway, she had to resist the urge to cheer. Instead, she pressed against the wall, looking up and down the corridor for signs of hostile figures.
I guess they never thought anyone could escape from their jail…She grinned at the thought.
Since she had no idea which way would lead to an exit, she just chose a direction and started walking, trying to shut out the sounds of crying, muttering and screaming from the cells around her. She couldn't afford to let everyone out, though she was sure in days past she would have done so. Now… she just couldn't risk it. She had a better chance of getting out alone, or with a very small group. Fortunately, as had been the case with her cell, there were no windows in the doors of any of the cells flanking the hall, so she didn't have to see the suffering of the humans around her… or worry that they would see her and draw the Reapers' attention by screaming for help.
She was halfway down the corridor when she passed a cell and heard someone whimpering inside. She wasn't sure why, but the sound instantly brought her to a halt.
Candice…
She paused and studied the access panel beside the cell door. After pressing a button experimentally, she was delighted to find that there was no security code enabled or ID scanner to bar access.
The Reapers are overconfident, she realized. They never expected anyone to get free. There is nothing to prevent the cells from being opened from outside…
She quickly hit the release trigger, and the cell door snapped open. The interior of the cell was illuminated only by a dim red light, just like in her own cell, but she could immediately see the small figure curled up at the far corner of the cell, staring fearfully toward the opening. When the girl saw her, her eyes widened, and she scrambled to her feet.
"Aida!" the girl shrieked, throwing her arms around her.
"Shhhh…" Aida admonished. "I am getting us both out of this place. But you have to be quiet and do exactly what I tell you…"
Candice nodded slowly, and Aida took the girl's hand, leading the way down the corridor and around the corner. She chose their path solely on instinct, since she'd been unconscious when she was brought into the cell block, or whatever this section was called. She simply had to assume that if she wandered around long enough without getting caught, she would find an exit.
Halfway down the new corridor, a sound once again brought her up short. She could hear someone muttering in a cell as they passed, along with a scraping sound that suggested someone was trying to pry the door open. While she still felt that it would be foolish to free too many people and risk having someone alert the Reapers to an escape, she felt compelled to open that particular cell. One more person could be a big help if they ran into trouble, and there was definitely something metallic scraping against the door, suggesting that whoever was inside was smart enough to figure out how to get free. Candice certainly wouldn't be of any use in fighting off Reapers… Perhaps the person beyond that door would. She hit the release for the cell, and the door popped open.
A figure rushed out of the cell and drove her back into the wall, drawing a fearful shriek from Candice, who was knocked down by her assailant's rush. Aida winced when the man slammed her into the surface, and raised her arms in a gesture of defense when she saw his hand drawn back, and spotted the dark piece of tubing in his grasp.
The blow never fell. "Aida?" the man asked in bewilderment.
Aida slowly opened her eyes and lowered her arms, staring at the bruised face of the man in wonder. "Harper?" She had never expected to see the Alliance soldier again. But she had to smile at her luck. What were the odds that she would free the same man that had been with her on the transport that brought them here? And a trained soldier, no less.
"How did you get out?" Harper asked.
"The same way you were trying," Aida pointed to the section of tubing in his hands. He had obviously torn it free the same way she had.
"Then it worked," Harper smiled. "I knew it would work."
Candice grabbed Aida's hand, and the asari smiled down at her reassuringly. Now she knew, beyond any shadow of doubt that they would manage to escape this place. They just had to be careful and take their time. Harper took the lead, and Aida was happy to follow him, keeping the little blonde girl close by her side.
Once they left the cell block behind and moved into other areas of the facility, they were forced on more than one occasion to duck into doorways or around corners to hide from passing Reaper troops. Aida even thought at one point that they were about to be spotted, as a husk passing through an adjoining corridor had stopped and stiffened, as if it had heard them or somehow detected them. After a moment, however, the creature simply resumed its original path.
Eventually they reached a door, which when opened, subjected them to the most awful stench of decay and rot Aida had ever experienced. She felt bile rise in her throat, and had to choke back the urge to cough, covering her mouth and nose with her hand in an attempt to block out the smell. Beside her, Candice did the same thing with both hands. Slowly, the three of them stepped through the door and out onto an open balcony overlooking a vast room below. Drawn perhaps by morbid curiosity, Aida stepped forward and looked over the rail into the area beneath them. She immediately wished that she hadn't.
The room was filled with bodies. Piles of corpses were arranged throughout the chamber, and living humans were working to load the bodies onto conveyors, which carried the cadavers into areas Aida couldn't see from her vantage. Her stomach heaved at the sight, and combined with the stench that her hand could not block from her senses, she was forced to turn away. She would have vomited, but as she hadn't been given food during the solitary portion of her imprisonment, there was nothing for her stomach to expel. Gagging, she looked around for some sign of an exit, refusing to even consider descending to the dreadful slaughterhouse below.
"There," she choked out the word, pointing across the room. There was a large exhaust port embedded in the wall about even with their current position, and it seemed the most likely place to find a direct exit from the facility. It had to lead somewhere, and it wasn't covered by a grate or fan…
Harper followed her gaze, and he nodded slowly. There was a very thin ledge that ran along the perimeter of the room, and even before he suggested it, Aida already knew what he was thinking. It would be a terrifying journey… the ledge was perhaps ten centimeters deep at most… and if they fell, the drop would surely kill them. But at least a fall would spare them the possibility of recapture and a return to confinement and inevitable execution.
"We can use the ledge," Harper finally suggested. "Follow me. And take it slow. If any of us falls, the Reapers will spot the rest of us for sure…"
Aida nodded, glancing at Candice uncertainly. She expected the girl to argue or protest, but instead, the diminutive blonde simply nodded, taking the asari's hand and squeezing it tightly. Harper carefully climbed over the railing of the balcony and edged his way out onto the ledge, his back pressed against the wall. Then he carefully shuffled along the ledge, making slow but steady progress. Aida climbed over next, and then paused on the other side of the rail and turned around carefully to face the child.
"Hold onto my hand, okay?" she urged. "I will not let you fall. I promise."
Candice nodded, and the child carefully climbed over the railing, waiting there while Aida eased herself onto the ledge. Once she was sure she had her footing, she reached out for Candice's hand. With the child gripping her hand firmly, they started working their way along the ledge together. It was a terrifying trip, and Aida had to stop more than once to assure herself of her footing when dizziness assailed her. But every centimeter closer to the exhaust vent she drew bolstered her hopes of escape. She just wanted to leave this horrible place behind, find her friends, and tell her captain exactly how she felt about her.
She did have a brief moment of uncertainty. It struck her as odd that the exhaust vent had no grating or enclosure to cover it, just as it seemed they had been able to avoid notice too easily. But she wasn't about to question their good fortune. She knew they were about to find their way to freedom, and for that, she would take every blessing the Goddess could grant her.
She was finally going to get out.
Cerberus Shuttle Alpha, Dig Site Theta-129…
Neela shifted uncomfortably in the isolation pod as the quartet of soldiers pushed the pod up the ramp into the Cerberus shuttle. The four men were sweating profusely, and she had heard a good deal of swearing and grunting over the last fifteen minutes as they worked to carry the pod up the stairs from the lower levels of the Prothean ruin and guide it outside. Her eyes shifted to Selura, who was standing nearby with a small crate in her hands, looking more excited than she had seen her since before their departure from the hospital in the gorge.
The quarian had guessed from the beginning what their destination would be. She had heard about the capture of a second shuttle, and from the moment Selura entered the infirmary, she knew that they would be going to the vehicle. It had decontamination systems and would give them a measure of privacy. It was sweet of the scientist to look for time alone with her, and she had to admit it would be wonderful to get out of the pod for a little while… but to put these poor soldiers through the ordeal of carrying the heavy isolation vehicle up the stairs and then down again later… she wasn't sure it was worth it.
Neela closed her eyes and sighed. She was still struggling to accept the fact that Prathus was dead. It seemed so unreal. And the pain she felt over the loss was all-consuming. Selura had been wonderful to her while she grieved, but she just didn't have the energy to even thank her girlfriend for the attention and support. She couldn't feel anything but heartache and loss. She would have given anything for a reprieve. Something to take her mind away from the ceaseless misery in which she was mired…
"Thank you all," she heard Selura say as she bid the soldiers farewell.
Neela sighed and wiped her eyes, watching while the asari climbed the ramp and set the crate she carried on the bench, snapping open the lid and putting it aside. Once the crate was open, she hit the panel to close the door and start the decontamination cycle. Neela tried to offer the girl a smile, but she knew that her heart wasn't behind it. The dullness of her smile didn't seem to bother Selura in the least, however, as the asari kept grinning like a child on her birthday.
"Uh… Before we open your pod, I have to ask," the corner of the asari's lips curled upward. "What is the count on the number of times you are going to hit me? Should I lock myself in the cockpit for protection?"
"No," was all Neela said. She knew Selura was trying to make her smile, but she wasn't in a particularly jovial mood. The fact that the asari's smile faded didn't help Neela to feel any better.
She doesn't deserve to be treated like this, Neela reprimanded herself. She's only trying to help.
She reached up and grabbed the emergency release handle, giving it a quick jerk to snap the canopy open. Even though she knew the interior of the shuttle was now sterile, she winced when she heard the hiss resulting from the loss of the pressure seal. Selura stepped forward to help lift the canopy to the side, and as soon as the glass was swiveled out of position, the asari was quick to grab hold of Neela's hand. Neela laced her fingers with those of her girlfriend, drawing an immense amount of comfort from that simple contact. Their hands didn't fit together properly due to the differing number of fingers, but holding the asari's hand still felt undeniably right.
"I'm sorry," Neela said simply.
"You do not have to apologize," Selura was quick to assure her. "I understand. You lost someone you care about. I know that hurts."
"You don't deserve to be ignored and pushed away just because I am unhappy," Neela persisted. She felt she owed her girlfriend a proper apology at least.
"It is fine," Selura assured her. But Neela could see in the girl's eyes that she had indeed been hurt by the recent coldness.
Neela managed a small smile, and saw the asari's smile blossom into something dazzling in response. She resisted the urge to shake her head.
How did I ever get lucky enough to find her?
"Thank you for bringing me out here," Neela murmured. "It will be nice to get out of this pod… even if it's only for a little while."
To her surprise, Selura's smile deepened at her words. The asari released her hold on her hand and turned, walking over to the crate she had been carrying when they entered the shuttle. Neela tried to get a look at the contents, curious for the first time as to what it held, but Selura's body was blocking her view.
"I brought a few things for you," the asari commented. "I had to open the crate before starting the decontamination cycle so that it would all be sterile and safe for your use. First, I brought this… for reasons I will explain momentarily," she announced, pulling a blanket from the interior of the crate and bringing it over.
Neela took the blanket, confused as to the reason for it. Terra Nova was a planet plagued by intense heat. Even though the interior of the shuttle was climate controlled, it was more than warm enough to do without a blanket. She watched the asari return to the crate, wondering what it was that she had up her sleeve.
"I also brought two meals," the asari announced, holding up two packages. "One for me, and one dextro-based entrée for the girl of my dreams," she added with a grin and a playful wink. Neela could feel herself blushing a little at the praise. "And two bottles of triple-filtered purified water. And last, but certainly not least…" the asari trailed off, reaching into the crate and glancing back over her shoulder.
Neela waited to see what would be coming out of the crate next, but Selura just stood there, grinning at her. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the quarian couldn't take any more.
"What is it?" she asked in exasperation. "Quit stalling, you bosh'tet!"
"There is the girl I fell in love with," Selura laughed. "Welcome back!"
Neela had to smile in spite of herself. She shook her head in wonder. The asari always seemed to manage to brighten her mood somehow. It would take a lot more brightening before she would actually feel good, but it was a start.
"I have this," the scientist finally continued, and removed a garment from the interior of the crate.
At first, Neela didn't make the connection. It was a full body-suit that would cover a person up to the chin, and she could see hundreds of little metal points protruding from the kinetic padding from which the suit was made. It was only when she really started paying attention to the silhouette, and noted the narrowness of the waist, the width of the hips, and the shape of the boots connected to the garment that she realized what it was.
"It… You finished it?" she breathed the words.
"It may require some minor alterations once we get you into it, and I still need to melt down and mold some armoring to attach to these points of contact, but… yes," the asari's smile radiated her excitement.
"It looks wonderful," Neela's smile came a bit more easily now. It wasn't a quarian enviro-suit, but the fact that it was made by the hands of the woman she loved… and that it represented freedom from the isolation pod… both did wonders to improve her day. However, her smile fell after a moment. "But… without a helmet-"
As if she had been anticipating the words, Selura reached behind herself and pulled an almost perfect replica of Neela's old helmet out of the crate. The only difference she could see in the shape or appearance was that the new helmet's visor was only lightly tinted, more like those used by the Alliance soldiers. Neela's heart leapt. She didn't have to go back into the pod at all then…
"What do you think?" Selura watched her with a smile, but she could see a hint of anxiety in the girl's gaze.
"I think it looks fantastic, and I'm endlessly grateful that you finished it," Neela smiled.
"Is it good enough to earn a kiss?" a teasing grin formed on the asari's lips.
Neela hesitated for the barest of moments. She truly was grateful that Selura had done so much work for her, and of course she loved her dearly, but she wasn't sure her grief would let her truly enjoy kissing her, and she really didn't want the asari's reward to be awkward due to her mixed feelings.
"Please?" the asari persisted, a playful pout replacing her grin.
Neela almost laughed at the childish expression. Keelah… How can I say no to that? Finally she nodded her assent.
The squeal of joy that the asari emitted surprised her, and while she was sure it was partly for show, just to make her smile, she could tell that it wasn't entirely feigned. And that fact had her cheeks burning more than anything. She sat up and carefully swung her legs over the edge of the pod, wincing at the feeling once her broken ankle was no longer resting on a solid surface. But the pain was momentary. She slipped her arms around Selura's waist when the asari came closer, and their lips met in a soft and sensual kiss.
That little contact was electric for Neela. The taste of Selura's lips… the warmth of her body as she held her… the scent of her skin… it all combined to push the dull ache of loss to the background for the moment. Neela's arms tightened around the asari, and she deepened the kiss, desperately clinging to that relief from the pain. Selura seemed surprised at first, and then responded in kind. By the time their lips parted, both girls were almost breathless.
"Goddess," Selura breathed, "Remind me to make another suit for you next week…"
Neela couldn't help smiling. But there was something else lurking within her. That brief taste of intimacy had given her a temporary, but very welcome reprieve from the pain of grief. She was desperate to hold onto it. Unfortunately, just as she was about to draw the asari in for another kiss, the girl slipped out of her grasp and retrieved the suit and mask.
"I brought the blanket for you to cover up with," Selura explained. "I figured you might need help getting your injured foot into this thing, and then you can do the rest without me... So I'll step into the cockpit while you undress and you can cover yourself with-" the asari trailed off, her eyes widening in shock.
This reaction was in response to Neela's impulsive act, which was to pull her shirt up and off in one smooth motion, baring her torso to the asari's gaze. She didn't want to give herself time to second-guess her desires. She meant to give herself to the woman she loved before she could lose her nerve. She wanted to indulge in the intimacy and passion and release of it all… she wanted to experience something good to take her mind off of all the grief and fear of the past days. And she didn't want the nagging feeling of doubt lurking in the back of her mind to stop her.
She could tell that Selura was shocked. But she also saw the asari's eyes drift downward after a moment, and felt a surge of warmth run through her. She shoved aside the wave of uncertainty that rushed through her mind and resisted the urge to cover herself for modesty's sake. Instead, she unfastened the Alliance-issue pants she wore and lay back, pushing them down past her hips, and then sat up and carefully worked them the rest of the way off, wincing slightly as she pulled them over the brace on her injured ankle. When she glanced up at the asari, the girl's expression was approaching something akin to full-blown panic.
"Neela…"
Selura's face had darkened to deep purple across her cheeks and down into her neck. She seemed to be trying to keep her gaze above the quarian's shoulders, but eventually lost that fight. Neela saw her attention drift downward, and she could almost feel the asari's eyes upon her as they swept every inch of her body. She shivered under the intensity of her gaze, feeling terribly vulnerable and exposed. Only her love for Selura soothed her anxiety and the nagging uncertainty she felt over what she was doing.
"Come here," Neela beckoned. Now that she was facing the possibility of true intimacy with Selura, she found herself feeling a bit lost. She actually had no idea what felt pleasurable to an asari… or the mechanics of being intimate with another female, and her doubts increased exponentially.
Selura swallowed audibly, and she slowly crossed the few steps to bring her within Neela's reach once more. Neela slipped her hands gently behind the asari's neck and drew her down into another kiss… this one softer and a bit more uncertain than the first had been. Selura's shoulders were tense beneath her arms, and though she could feel the girl's tenderness in the kiss, she could also feel the asari shaking.
This is a mistake… I'm not… She is not ready…
She was just about to vocalize those thoughts when she felt the asari's hands settle upon the bare flesh at her hips. The simple contact sent a rush of warmth through her, and she shivered in anticipation of more, even while she doubted herself for ever starting this to begin with. When Selura's hands drifted upward along her sides both her doubts and her desires increased tenfold. One of the girl's hands drifted around her back, supporting her and holding her close, while the other hand glided inward and settled upon the swell of her breast, her palm brushing across the nipple. Involuntarily, a moan worked its way from Neela's lips at the contact. The quarian did her best to swallow her doubts, and her hands slid down along Selura's sides, seizing hold of the bottom of the asari's shirt. Selura drew back to gaze into her eyes.
Neela was horrified to feel a tear slide down her cheek. She was desperate for some way to ease her pain, but she knew she wasn't ready for this. Something of her anxiety must have been visible in her expression... or perhaps it was the tear alone… but Selura jerked her hands away from Neela's body and turned away, running her them up over her scalp crests.
"Neela… we cannot do this," Selura whispered the words, still facing away from her. She was shaking so violently that Neela could actually see her trembling.
Neela immediately started sobbing. Not because she was upset that Selura had stopped… she was actually more relieved than upset… she had been acting rashly. But she felt horribly embarrassed and stupid, and was afraid that by starting something she wasn't ready to finish, she might have made her girlfriend angry. She grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to her chest, burying her face in it. A second later, she felt Selura's arms encircle her. The asari's cheek came to rest against her hair, and she held her tightly.
"I am sorry," the asari apologized, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want this… I do. More than you can imagine… And… Goddess, you are beautiful…" Neela could feel the girl trembling still. "But… You are grieving, and you are in pain, and it is obvious you do not really want this."
Neela's sobbing increased. "I'm sorry… I feel so stupid…" Her hand came up, and she tried to push Selura away. She just wanted to crawl into a corner somewhere and hide.
"No," Selura's embrace only tightened. "Do not let yourself feel that way. You are hurting and lost and you wanted to feel something… anything… other than that pain. I know." Selura leaned back slightly, and she put a finger beneath Neela's chin, gently but firmly urging her to look up. When Neela relented and their gazes met, she saw only sympathy and understanding in the asari's eyes. No judgment. No disappointment. "I know," Selura reiterated.
"How?" was all Neela could manage to choke out. She shivered when Selura's thumb gently wiped the tears from her cheek.
"Because I have been there," Selura said softly. "When my Aunt Nyrissa died, I was devastated," the asari explained, her voice heavy with remembered grief. "It seemed like there would be no end to the pain I felt. My neighbor, Issena, was there for me, and when she held me, because I had a little crush on her, it dulled the pain. I was desperate for anything that would give me an escape. I… I begged her to be with me. I confessed to her how beautiful I thought she was, and eventually… she gave in. But it was a mistake. I was not thinking clearly, and she did it out of pity. I felt ashamed and embarrassed afterward. And she couldn't look me in the eye anymore. We both regretted it."
Neela could barely see Selura's face through her tears, but she could hear the pain and the understanding in her voice. Selura had been exactly where she was, and had made the same impulsive choice and come to regret it. The asari was preventing her from making the same mistake. Neela bowed her head and cried, unsure what she could say. Knowing that Selura understood didn't make her feel any less embarrassed about what she had done. Selura simply pulled her close and held her, silently supporting and comforting her while she sobbed.
Neela had no idea how long she was there, clinging to the asari and sobbing. It was only when she began to calm down that Selura finally released her from her embrace. The asari gently took the blanket from her and wrapped it around her, carefully arranging it to cover her as much as possible, and then she knelt in front of her, carefully working her injured leg into the boot of her new suit. It fit over her toes perfectly and hugged her leg like a glove, though it was perhaps a little tight over the brace on her ankle. Once the asari had both of her feet in the new garment and had it pulled up to her knees, she paused, looking up at Neela with sympathy.
"You cannot let yourself feel embarrassed," Selura urged. "If I really thought you were ready to be with me in that way… I would have been all too happy to continue. But I love you. With all my heart. And when that time does come, I want you to have no regrets afterward."
Neela nodded slowly, but couldn't say a word. Selura gently lifted her legs, helping her turn to the side, so that she could lay back and finish dressing herself. Then the asari gave her a soft kiss upon the cheek, grabbed one of the water bottles, and walked into the cockpit, closing the door behind herself to leave Neela with some privacy.
Left alone to dress, Neela cast the blanket aside, still weeping softly as she pulled the suit up. Though she was distracted by embarrassment and sorrow, she was still impressed with Selura's work. The asari had replicated everything she was able to copy from Neela's old suit, including the waste management systems, though there was a noticeable lack of cybernetic interface ports. As she was pulling the garment up over her torso and sealing it, she noted that the material was significantly thinner over the fingers and the palms of her hands. It was so thin, in fact, that almost none of the sensation was lost when she ran her hand over the blanket at her side. She could feel the texture of the material.
A resurgence of tears trailed down her cheeks, but these were tears of thankfulness instead of sorrow. Selura had even had the forethought to consider not only protection from her environment, but the ability to retain some connection to the world around her. She closed her eyes, thanking her ancestors, the asari Goddess, and any other divine beings or entities in the galaxy that Selura had cared enough to prevent her from making a huge mistake, and that the asari didn't think any less of her for it.
Cockpit, Cerberus Shuttle Alpha…
The moment the door closed behind her, Selura slumped into the pilot's seat, feeling herself shaking once more. While seeing Neela break down crying had immediately put a damper on her desires, now that she was alone, those feelings returned full force. In her mind's eye, she could still see her girlfriend seated upon the edge of the pod's surface, gloriously nude and stunningly beautiful, inviting her to make her nighttime fantasies a reality. Tearing herself away from Neela had been the single most difficult endeavor of her life. She opened the bottle of water she'd taken with her and dumped half of it over her head, bringing a measure of relief to her fevered skin.
She'd done the right thing, beyond any shadow of a doubt. She would sooner die than leave Neela feeling as ashamed and miserable as she had felt when she was in the same position and made the same choice… but that didn't make it any easier to deal with the rush of desire she had felt – and still felt – from their brief contact. Horrible guilt plagued her over the lustful feelings she was experiencing… her girlfriend was miserable and hurting, and it killed her to see Neela feeling that way. But her hormones refused to be suppressed by her guilt.
"Goddess," she murmured, trying desperately to dispel her lustful feelings and relax. She still had to go back out there, possibly make some alterations to Neela's suit, and make sure that her girlfriend was calmed down and was not torturing herself with regrets for a simple, rash decision. And they still had a meal to share.
For the moment, she had to content herself with the promise that they would – someday – finish what they had started. Or at least, so she hoped.
Okay, that is enough… she reminded herself. Neela's state of mind had to be her first priority right now. She couldn't afford to dwell on her own desires. With that thought in mind, she stood up from her chair, still feeling a little weak in the knees, and knocked on the cockpit door.
"I'm dressed," Neela answered, sounding horribly morose.
Selura took a deep breath and nodded once, walking back out to rejoin her girlfriend, smiling brightly at the sight of her, covered up to her chin by the new suit. It seemed to fit her like a glove. She eyed the quarian critically, and then smiled softly. Perhaps they could eat before Neela tried on the helmet…
"Selura…" Neela bowed her head, wiping her eyes and seeming to search for the right words.
Selura reached out and took hold of the quarian's hand. As she had expected, she could feel the warmth of her skin through the relatively thin layer of synthetic weave that she'd chosen for the undersides of the suit's glove sections. She had done extensive testing to determine the thinnest she could make the material without a risk of it being pierced by rough surfaces.
"Thank you," the quarian murmured softly.
Selura smiled. She didn't need to ask what she was being thanked for. The fact that Neela was expressing gratitude and not self-recriminations or regrets was a perfect start in her view. She only squeezed the quarian's hand a little more tightly.
"I love you," she said simply.
"I love you too," Neela finally looked up at her.
To her vast relief, she saw only the barest traces of regret and embarrassment in Neela's expression and in her eyes. She could much more clearly see gratitude and warmth in the depths of her gaze. Her hormones urged her to kiss the girl, but she firmly suppressed that urge. At the moment, she didn't think it would help either of them. Instead, she reached for the meals she'd brought. They might have been vacuum sealed, ready-to-eat dinners, but it made no difference to her. Any meal in Neela's company seemed like four-star cuisine. And after having seen Neela starve for six days until Prathus had arrived with dextro-based food, it made the asari very happy to watch her girlfriend eat.
"Can we eat later?" Neela asked suddenly.
"Of course… If you want," Selura was a little confused. She set the packages aside. "What would you like to do in the meantime?"
"I was just hoping you might… uh… that we could... cuddle? I would feel a lot better if you would just… hold me."
Selura swallowed and nodded. Neela turned on her side, scooting over to the far side of the isolation pod's surface, and Selura climbed up behind her, pressing up against her back and slipping her arms around her to hold her close. She was only too happy to give Neela the comfort she desired, and it was a relief to know that the aftermath of their brief encounter hadn't soured Neela on the desire to be close to her. Unfortunately, the closeness caused her desires to return full-force, and she felt horribly guilty over that fact. She wasn't sure anyone would have blamed her for what she was feeling, but still…
When we go back inside, I think I may jump into that nice, cold moat… she thought with a rueful grin.
.
.
Author's Note: Once again, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited/followed or otherwise paid any attention to this story. The interest is greatly appreciated, and I'm doing my best to keep everyone entertained with this little tale. Hopefully I am continuing to succeed. :)
Continuing in the vein from last Chapter, this is one I've been anxious about posting... specifically for the last two sections in the shuttle. Anyone who has experienced a loss like this knows that sometimes you'll do some odd things for relief from the grief, but getting it just right was tricky. I must have rewrote those two sections a dozen or more times. I'm looking forward to seeing how it is all received.
I've also been looking forward for a while to getting some of the equipment upgrades to the group. Especially the Harriers, which one of my readers asked about ages ago. You know who you are. :)
Unless something changes drastically to throw me off schedule, the next update will be on Sunday morning. Until then, I hope everyone has a great week, and I hope you'll come back for more!
