Chapter 72

Johanna


The train picked us up today, early in the morning. If Peeta and I were ordinary people, we would have probably needed to set a clock alarm to wake up at seven a.m. But we are far from normal and ordinary.

Peeta has been having flashbacks (although not as bad as the other day's), and they've been becoming so often, it worries me. He's been having nightmares too, he says. And it's been three days since I can't sleep. I've probably just had five hours of sleep since the nightmare. Each time I close my eyes, I go back there, I can't sleep. I have nightmares with screams and blood, and lately, Prim has been showing there; and that chills me to the bone, I can't close my eyes, I can't sleep. We can't sleep.

We were up all night, at first we were just killing time, cleaning, ordering the house, watching TV... But we ended up going to bed to "try" to get some sleep, but none of us did. We gave up around five a.m, we still had about three hours left before the train picked us up. And we realized we still hadn't packed. So we did. This time we packed a bag for each of us. We've been travelling a lot, it's just been three weeks since we were on Eleven and now we're going to District 3 and then 4. I packed a blue dress for Beetee's museum and for the rest just shirts and a couple of casual dresses. And bathing suits, since it's District 4 and there's the sea and everything.

By six a.m in the morning we were already done, and both Peeta and I were so sick of being inside the house, so we just left. We walked to the Station and left the bags there, then we just walked around the place.

I guess part of us is just trying to keep our bodies and mind awake, we say we can't sleep but maybe we just don't want to. And we look tired, too. We didn't take long to go back to the Station and sit on a bench 'till the train arrived.

And it did, about 7 o'clock, and just in time Effie arrived too, with Haymitch. We said hello and got on the train ignoring Haymitch's accusations about us being in a bad mood. Maybe we were.

In the end I think we grew excited, maybe even desperate to get out of Twelve and go somewhere else. So we just got on the train and I was eager for it to begin moving. I don't know, maybe I thought getting away from Twelve would mean getting away from the nightmares and the flashbacks...

We were assigned a wagon and Peeta and I went there. It's a train similar like the one who got us to the Capitol and to the Games. Funny isn't it? I can't sleep here either.

Right now we are lying on the bed, my head is resting on Peeta's chest and his head is resting on my head. We do not talk, we just stay silent, maybe Peeta is trying to sleep but I'm not, I'm wide awake.

Maybe an hour or more passes and then I realize Peeta is asleep. I can tell by his slow breathing, and his chest rising with each one of his breaths. I'm glad for him, at least one of us could get some sleep.

But I just stay there, thinking.

Effie said we would be making several stops along the way, in almost every District. I've felt the train stopping maybe a couple of times, and I lost count so I have no idea where we are. Besides, Districts are at least a three or four hours away from each other. Effie also said that Twelve was the first stop, so by the time we got on it it was empty. It will be a one-day trip to Three. We will pass the night here. I wish it was faster, and we would just be there in a few hours, and I wouldn't have so much time to think.

The hours pass and I just can't stop thinking about all the people we will see in the next days.

Annie, Johanna, Beetee, people from Thirteen, even Gale...

Part of me is excited, I have to admit, but I'm also very, very nervous. I might be the reason that all their loved ones are death. They might hate me. We haven't seen each other since well, everything.

For the next several hours I try to shut my mind up, but I just can't. The only reason I'm still in this room is because I'm afraid of coming across someone on the train. It's ironic, I spent months with those people, some were even my friends. And now I'm afraid... It's been a long time, for more than nine months it's just been me, and then Peeta and I. No one else. (Haymitch and Effie don't count, of course).

I get overwhelmed so I decide to quietly sneak out of the room. Before getting out I give a last glance at Peeta. Tiptoing, I stand besides him and pull the covers up to his chest. I can't help planting a little kiss on his forehead and then, I leave the room.

I check a clock and see it's five o'clock already, I'm so glad Peeta could get some sleep. But I'm sick of that room, I spent hours there, looking at the ceiling, I felt trapped. I feel trapped. I wonder if I'll have a panic attack or something.

I walk through the wagons, and I'm feeling hungry and anxious so I'll probably grab something to eat. On my way I stop on a window, and I see nothing that can tell me where we are, just trees and road.

I think the food's wagon is the next one so I step into it, walking fast for some reason. Maybe I'll just do it quickly so I don't find anyone on the way.

I step into the wagon and out of nowhere, someone walks into me. We crash on each other and I see the person was carrying a tray with food. Everything she was carrying falls to the ground and to me too. I collapse on the ground with the tray above me and the other person falls too.

"Watch it!", she roars. It's a female's voice.

"Watch it?!", I cry angrily. "You crashed on me!", I say taking the tray off me. I manage into a sitting position and the girl does too. I see her face.

Johanna Mason.

For a second, we just look into each other's eyes, and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, but then for some reason, I feel relief. I do not know why.

"Katniss", she breaths surprised.

"Johanna?", I say not quite sure of what to say. She looks so different: her brown hair has grown up till her chin, I can see no more bruises on her face, and that morphine-look in her eyes is gone. Now she looks almost like the old Johanna.

"Of course its me brainless, into who else would you be crashing into?", she says partly sounding bored, annoyed, and trying to make a bad joke I guess.

"I didn't crash into you", I say with slight anger again, I'm a complete mess of food. "You came out of nowhere".

"You crashed into me!", she groans.

"No, you did".

"Okay, why are we fighting? It's not even been five minutes and we're alraedy fighting".

"Because you threw your tray at me".

"It was an accident".

"No kidding", I say looking at myself.

"Ugh. Sorry", she takes some napkins from the table beside her; then she helps me up and helps me clean myself.

We take some minutes, and I grow desperate and decide to leave it like that even though it looks like someone puked on me.

"Ew. Looks like vomit", Johanna says.

I scowl at her. "Yours".

"Sorry. My bad", she says with a sorry not sorry look that she enjoys.

Then there's an awkward and long silence.

"So...", she says. "Let's start over. Why don't we go eat something?".

"Sure", I shrug.

I follow Johanna to the buffet. We grab a tray and start at the salad station. I keep my distance from her, in any moment she could throw her tray at me once more.

"So what brings you here?", she asks.

"Same as you".

"I know", she says bored. "It was rhetorical".

We keep walking and I serve myself some pasta.

"Where's lover boy?", she asks. I didn't recall her calling him "lover boy" before.

"In bed. Sleeping. I couldn't so I came here", just to being thrashed at by you.

"Uh", she says grinning. "Same bed".

When she sees I'm not laughing, I change the subject. "Were you excited to come?".

"I guess" she says with a shrug. "And you? Didn't you miss me?", she turns and grins at me, just like the old times.

"You have no idea", I say returning the same old grin.


Me and Johanna sit on a table by a window and eat.

"How are you here? We haven't been in Seven yet", I say. The last District we stopped at was Nine.

"I wasn't", she says taking a mouthful of meat.

"Where were you?".

"Eleven. It's been a long time since I was... at home", she says and I can see she doesn't want to talk about it. So I change the subject.

"Where's Annie?", I ask.

"I've been staying with her, helping. But the baby was supposed to be born a week and a half ago, but it didn't. Doctors say everything's fine, but that she should stay at the Hospital. So she's there at Four. She begged the Doctors to be released for a couple of days, they said no so she's not coming to Three. So we'll catch up with her at Four. She's really excited to see you guys".

"How is she?", I ask not being quite able to say I'm excited to see her too, I think about her and I still see her on my nightmare.

"She's fine. But you know how she is. Sometimes she gets a little emotional. Some tears, some yelling...", she says kinda trailing off. "It's not as bad as when... someone brings Finnick up. It's been... really hard", I can see again we don't want to talk about that either.

"But why don't we talk about you better?" she says after some silence. "How's Peeta?". Second time she asks about him.

"Uhm... good I guess", I lie. Having flashbacks is not being good. We don't realize how screwed up we are 'till we talk about it. So we fail on establishing a long conversation, so when we're done eating, she says she's going to get some sleep.

"See you later?", I ask.

"Sure", Johanna says with a small smile.

I decide to go back to the room, so I begin hoping that I won't find anybody else on my way.

/ Okay guys, I feel like I disappeared even though I left for just some days. BUT I'M BACK! I am so sorry. You have no idea of how busy I was last week. Really. Craziest of weeks in the history of crazy weeks. But its over! *screams with happiness*. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the introduction of Johanna into this story :) You'll be reading about many more characters on the next chapters :) I hope you leave a review and recommend this story :) Thanks for your support! /