Spock pressed his nose into Jim's hair and tried to hold on as tight as he could. It seemed Jim was leaving forever, not for a little while. The thought of the other Spock, dying in a chamber while his Jim cried out for him, crossed Spock's mind and he twitched. Apparently, not even death can separate us for long, this Jim had said. Would life succeed where death had failed before?

"I want you to know, you didn't do this to me," Jim told Spock as they packed his clothes. Spock handed Jim a long sleeved shirt and Jim vetoed it, opting for a short sleeve Oxford shirt in the closet. Jim was trying to pack as cool as possible in anticipation of the heat of the planet the Vulcan colony was on. Spock was trying to remind him of the chilly desert nights.

"I understand. I cannot help but have a certain ownership in our relationship's demise, however. I had apologized numerous times; had I changed my behavior sooner, perhaps this would not have come about."

"Hey, we're not quits. We're just taking a break," Jim reminded him.

"Of course."

When Jim was packed, Spock accompanied him downstairs and placed the luggage by the door. Jim held up a finger and motioned upstairs. He wished to talk to his son one last time. Spock nodded and went into the kitchen to fix dinner.

Jim knocked on the door and opened it, finding David on the comm with Bridget. Bridget saw Jim in the background and her face became stoic. David turned around and waved his dad in.

"I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Love you."

"Talk to you tomorrow. All my love, Greg." Bridget disappeared and David shut off the comm.

"What can I do for you?" David asked politely.

"Well, um, do you want to have dinner together, as a family, one more time?"

David shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm pretty much done with this family."

Jim felt anger stirring and inhaled slowly through his nose. "That's pretty harsh. You're going to be here almost two more years. Don't you want to stay in touch for when things are better?"

"I called Mom, and she said she and Jakob will be happy to have me. She's calling the school tomorrow to arrange my transfer. I'm going back to Riverside."

Jim's heart stopped and he held out a hand. "You're going to leave your father alone here?"

"Like you're not doing the same?"

Jim felt his cheeks heat. "Well, I plan on coming back. I think. I'm pretty sure I'm coming back. Don't do this to Spock. Things are hard enough on him as it is."

"So it's okay for you to jump ship but not me?" David bit out. "Forget you. I'm going home to Mom and Gramma Winona. I'm done with this. Please leave. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"What happened to your not taking sides?"

"Oh, I'm equally pissed at both of you. Why do you think I'm up here, in my room, instead of down there with you and Father? I don't want to see either one of you. Please leave."

Jim was about to leave when Spock cleared his throat. "Please do not let your father leave with this animosity between you. May the gods forbid, if an unpleasant event were to occur you would not wish this to be the way you left your relationship."

David felt cold dread go through his heart and his stomach clinched. He stood up and hugged his dad. "I'm sorry, Dad. Please come back. Father needs you."

"I'll do my best," Jim promised. He kissed the top of his son's curly-haired head and walked out of the room.

"Do you really worry that something's going to happen while he's gone?" David asked Spock.

"Life is often more unpredictable than we give it credit," Spock quoted his mother. "Again, may the gods forbid." Spock walked out of the room and shut the door behind himself. When it opened a second later, he turned back around.

"I'm still on punishment," David explained, and went back in the room.

Spock went downstairs and smelled something utterly foul. He looked in the living room and found Jim sitting at the computer, eating … a hot dog. With chili and onions. Spock felt himself wanting to gag.

"Sorry," Jim mumbled around a mouthful. "I got hungry and I needed comfort food. Nothing says 'you're okay' like a hot dog."

Spock was still swallowing his disgust and finally physically turned away from the sight. He shuddered and began to breathe through his mouth. "No, I understand. I foresee many nights of Plomeek soup in my future. Do you wish me to inform you when your son returns to Riverside?"

Jim grunted an uh-huh and wiped his mouth. "Okay, Spock, I have a confession to make."

"Confession?"

"Yeah, um, I ate that monstrosity with a purpose in mind." Jim gestured to his mouth and he said, "The last thing you'll taste of me will be the first thing you tasted of me, the very first time you kissed me. They say the senses link memories. I want you to remember every last kiss."

Then Jim came and kissed Spock, slowly and deeply. Spock resisted at first, just as he had in the beginning, but then he melted into the embrace and returned the kiss enthusiastically. In Spock's mind, almost in slow motion, he saw him and Jim kissing in Jim's quarters. Then he saw Jim kissing him as they made love on their wedding night. He saw every kiss, just as Jim had predicted, and he realized he couldn't live without this man. He tasted salt, and realized one of them, or both of them, were crying.

"Ashayam," Spock breathed. He held on even tighter. "What am I to do without you?"

"Hang on, hon, because when I come back I'm going to be better for you. I won't let you down again."

Spock swallowed and nodded. "I will remember."

They sat on the sofa holding each other for another hour, until Jim began to fall asleep. Spock laid him his lap and waited. True to his word, exactly four hours had passed after the call when the door signal chimed. Jim sat up with a snort.

"It is Father. I will answer the door and carry your luggage to the vehicle." Spock got up and went to the door. "Greetings. May I offer you refreshment?"

"No, thank you," Sarek answered uncharacteristically. Spock blinked and his father went on. "I am here to collect James. I see his belongings are packed; I will ask my assistant to carry them to the vehicle."

"I will carry them, Father," Spock told him. He started to pick a suitcase up and Sarek stopped him.

"You are ceasing your cohabitation, if not your entire affiliation. Have some dignity, Spock, and allow him to make the ending as clean as possible."

"But Father," Spock exclaimed, "he will return to me."

Sarek's eyes were particularly cold. "Time will tell, child. Ah, Captain Kirk, your transport awaits. I will send my assistant back in three minutes to gather your luggage. You may say your goodbyes now." He walked away stiffly.

Jim turned around and looked into Spock's eyes. "I guess this is it. Um, take care of yourself. I'll spend as little money as I can, since you're going to be down to one income. Uh, I guess I'll call you when I get in to New Vulcan. See ya soon," he finished awkwardly and held out his hand to shake.

Spock stared at the appendage as if it were an alien creature and then held out two fingers in a Vulcan kiss. Jim kissed him back and a man walked up dressed in a tunic and pants, obviously the chauffeur. He took the luggage and waited for Jim, who looked Spock over one last time and walked away. The other man opened the trunk, put the luggage away, and opened the door for Jim. Then two minutes later the car drove away.

Spock shut the door and stared unseeing at the metal before him. He heard soft footsteps on the stairs but didn't turn around to face his stepson. He didn't want David to see him crying.

"Father, are you alright?"

Spock still had a lump in his throat and wasn't the swiftest to answer. David crept down the stairs and turned Spock around, reaching up with a trembling hand and using his thumb to wipe away Spock's tears. Then he wrapped his arms around Spock and put a hand on the back of Spock's head, drawing it down.

"It'll be alright, Daddy Two. I won't leave you. I'm sorry I said I would. I'll stay. Please don't cry."

Spock straightened and shook his head. "If you are unhappy here, and you would prefer proximity to your intended, it is entirely acceptable for you to leave this dwelling. I lived on my own for multiple years before your father. You should not be troubled on my behalf."

"It's just not right, that he gets to fall apart and you never do. He wouldn't know what to do if you went to pieces on him. It feels like he's taking advantage of the situation, knowing you're his rock and that he can lean on you without end. What if you need someone to lean on? Who are you supposed to turn to?"

Spock's mind went back two years and he blushed. He had entered pon farr for only the second time, and it was still difficult. They'd sent David to his mother's house and Doctor McCoy had arrived to monitor them, but they got through it. Jim had held him, assuring him over and over that they had survived and that he was okay. True, Jim usually leaned on Spock, but every seventh year, Spock had to lean on Jim.

"I have relied on your father in the past, and I will continue to do so," Spock explained finally. He extracted himself from his stepson's embrace and motioned to the kitchen. "I have not yet eaten, would you care to join me?"


A/N: Ugh. So much turmoil. Let's hope the boys figure this out sooner rather than later. We're coming up on the end, so hang on tight. Thank you so much for your continued support. All of you - named reviewers and guests - keep me going.