Addition to the morgue scene from 6x02, Inelegant Heart.


"Come on, I'll buy you a new one on the way back to the boatshed."

Shaking his head, Deeks pointed to her t-shirt. "I doubt it, because this isn't some Target special like you wear, this shirt cost $50."

"That's just ridiculous," Kensi scoffed. "Wait, how do you know I buy my shirts at Target?"

He grinned. "You're my partner, it's the same reason I know the only things in your fridge are a new 12-pack of cheap beer and an old jar of olives. It's my job to know everything about you."

"You don't know everything about me," she said, dropping her eyes to the dead man and waving her hand dismissively.

"Hmm," he hummed, staring at her with his lips puckered. "Maybe. Not yet anyway."

Kensi tapped her gloved fingers impatiently on the cold metal of the morgue drawer. "Seriously. Take your shirt off."

"Seriously, no," Deeks replied, spreading his arms wide. "It's really cold in here."

"It's a morgue, you idiot, of course it's cold." She pointed at the dead naked body, covered only by a thin sheet, between them. "We can't take naked pictures of a dead guy, that's just gross."

"Okay, because acting out Weekend at Bernie's with a dead guy in a very expensive t-shirt isn't gross. It's only gross if he's naked?" His fingers rose to his inquisitive expression, but he thought better of touching himself with his designated dead guy gloves.

Kensi closed her eyes and sighed. "I just, ugh-"

"Are you gonna ask me to take my jeans off, too?" He interrupted.

Eyes wide, she looked back and forth between Deeks and the inside of the morgue drawer in horror. Obviously if she had to have one of them pants-less, it would be Deeks. But in a morgue? No.

Her apparent turmoil over the question made him feel a bit guilty, so he ended her suffering. "Okay fine, that was maybe too much. Besides, it might break my heart if you said you didn't want me to take my pants off. So I'll make a deal with you."

"Fine," she groaned. "What?"

He straightened his shoulders, thrusting his chest out. "I'll take mine off if you take yours off."

"You have officially lost your mind."

"Okay, have fun trying to squeeze your little smedium tee on this guy. Although, that gray won't do any favors to his ghostly pallor…"

Her fist slammed on the table, the thud echoing through the cold room. "Fine. On three, shirts come off."

"Thank you. One."

"Two."

"Three." Deeks lifted his shirt over his head by the collar while Kensi tugged hers up by the bottom hem, revealing a plain nude push-up bra. He made no qualms about staring, a pleased grin lighting up his face.

"Happy now?" Kensi asked, pretending as if she wasn't staring at him as well. Morgue, morgue, morgue, she repeated in her head. Not the time or place to ogle. But damn.

He was still grinning and staring. "Happy's not the word I was thinking, but sure. Happy works."

"Great," she said, promptly putting her shirt back on despite grunts of protest from her partner. "You get the top, I'll get his feet."

His grin was gone, replaced by a very dissatisfied glare. He had been bested by semantics and just had to accept it. "Not happy anymore," he grumbled, slipping his arms in his shirt and sliding it under the dead man's shoulders.

She nodded to his bare chest. "You look cold," she said, making a disgusted face as she grabbed the freezing cold, lifeless feet. "Try not to poke his eye out with those pointers you've got there."

"That's…not even funny." Lifting in unison, the pair carried the body quickly across the room to a desk chair. "This is so wrong, this is so wrong, this is so wrong."

"Oh God," Kensi shuddered. "He's so limp and floppy."

"That's not what any guy wants to hear, Kens. He's already dead, don't add insult to injury."

"I'm going to injure you if you don't shut up."

Deeks moved behind the desk chair and Kensi tucked the sheet under the body as they eased him into a sitting position. As soon as they let go, the body starting sliding out of the chair.

"Dammit," he gritted through chattering teeth. Heaving the body back up, he held him in position and slipped his favorite shirt over the man's head. "Have I mentioned how wrong this is? Because this is so wrong."

Kensi glared at him as she pulled a small makeup bag out of her back pocket. "Still waiting for you to shut up."

Clenching his jaw, he held the cold head up in silence, watching Kensi's normally cool face turn greener and greener with each swipe of liquid foundation against the stretchy skin. He was freezing and more than a little queasy and just wanted all of this to be over. "I think he looks good enough."

"One second…" she said quietly. She applied a bit of blush to the cheeks and observed her handiwork. "Okay. This was definitely not worth wasting $100 of makeup, but he looks pretty good."

"You mock my shirts, but you spend that much on makeup and don't even need it." He rested the limp head against the back of the seat and opened the man's eyes. "Quick, take a picture before he falls down. Or comes back to life."

Kensi took her gloves off and pulled out her phone, taking a picture quickly. "Ugh, your nipple is in this picture."

"Oh, hell." He ducked down on the ground, blindly holding the head in place. "So, so wrong."

"Okay, got it."

"Finally." Standing up with a grimace, Deeks looked down at the dead man wearing his favorite shirt. "Promise me that when I die, you won't do my funeral make-up."

That was just one step too far for Kensi. "How can-" she sputtered. "Don't say things like that."

"Sorry, we-"

"No," she said firmly. "We don't make jokes about that. It's too…real. Okay?"

It was too real, much too real for them. He nodded apologetically. "Okay."

The process of undressing, removing makeup, and re-placing the body in it's appropriate drawer was much quieter and more respectful than the shenanigans from before. After tossing his shirt, her makeup, and their gloves in the biohazard trash, they washed up and exited the cold building into the warm California sunshine.

Deeks stood in the sunlight, basking in the warmth. "I love California."

Now that they were no longer in the presence of the deceased, Kensi took a minute to admire her shirtless, handsome, and perfectly California partner. "Oh yes. Me too." She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him towards her Cadillac. "Come on, I'll buy you a shirt."

"A $50 shirt?"

She smiled. "If it looks as good on you as the last one, absolutely."