Chapter 52Family
"Becca, the house looks great, calm down." Paul said, as his wife ran past his den/office for the umpteenth time.
"My family and your family are going to be here Paul. I just want everything to be perfect." Rebecca shot back.
"It is perfect, baby." Paul replied, getting up from his desk and going over to hug his wife. "Did you get a hold of Daniel?"
"Just as he was leaving for a mission." Rebecca replied with a wry smile. "I thanked him for Charlie's Christmas presents."
"We need to arrange a visit for just the two of them when he gets back." Paul said softly. "He's still his father."
"You're his father." Rebecca replied. "Daniel helped create him, you help raise him. In the long run which one do you think is going to matter the most to Charlie?" She kissed her husband. "I'll bring Charlie down, everyone should be here soon."
Paul smiled as his wife disappeared upstairs. He went and answered the door when the bell sounded. "Sir." Paul said quickly, ushering Jack and his family in.
"We're off duty, it's Christmas and I'm your father-in-law. Could you manage to call me Jack?" Jack replied.
"Of course sir … Jack." Paul stammered.
"Paul, I want you to meet my father John, my brother Claude, my sister Susan and her husband Bill. Everyone this is Rebecca's husband Paul." Jack introduced. Everyone said hello quickly.
"Paul, he's fussy and he won't calm down for me. I think he wants Daddy." Rebecca said coming down the stairs and handing the just waking up toddler to Paul.
"What's wrong buddy?" Paul asked.
"Is Daniel coming Daddy?" Charlie asked softly.
"No darling, he couldn't be here." Paul murmured softly. "But he made sure that Santa got all of your presents before he left town and they'll be waiting for you in the morning. Now, look, your Grandpa Jack is here and he brought some people that you need to meet." Paul shared an agonized look with his wife before handing the boy to Jack so he could make introductions.
"Hi Aunt Susan." Rebecca said when the woman came over. She accepted the hugs from her aunt and uncles before turning to her grandfather.
"You married a military man didn't you?" John asked his granddaughter.
"Yes, I did." Rebecca replied with a smile.
"That's my girl." John said hugging her. He took Charlie from his son. "And this must be my great-grandson." He looked the boy over. "Paul, he doesn't look a thing like you."
"Charlie's from my first marriage." Rebecca replied. "Paul adopted him after we got married." She moved over to the door when the doorbell rang again. "Hi Mom." She hugged Katherine and then James.
"We brought a surprise." Katherine said, nodding towards their rental before moving over to hug her son.
"Patrick!" Rebecca yelled when the man emerged from the car. She ran down the porch and into her brother-in-law's waiting arms.
"How's my brother treating you? Say the word and I'm all yours." Patrick said, hugging her and then lifting her up.
"Very funny." Paul retorted from the porch. He smiled as his brother carried Rebecca into the house. Rebecca's family halted in mid-introductions to watch the young man set the officer onto her feet.
"Rebecca?" John asked, looking from Rebecca to Paul, who came back into the house.
"Grandpa, this is Father Patrick Davis. Paul's brother." Rebecca introduced.
"I keep telling your granddaughter that if she leaves my little brother then I'll leave the Church." Patrick said, turning to Rebecca's shocked family.
"Fat chance big brother." Paul growled coming forward and pulling his brother into a hug. "How you doing?"
"Great." Patrick said, slapping his brother on the back.
"I'll take your luggage upstairs." Paul said taking his mother's bag. The rest of the Davis men grabbed a bag and hauled them upstairs to the guest bedrooms. Katherine followed to help unpack.
"Did you guys get settled in at Dad's?" Rebecca asked, turning to her family.
"We sure did little one." Claude replied.
"I guess I don't have to ask if his family is Catholic." John said as his granddaughter led them into her living room.
"No, you don't." Rebecca said with a smile. She looked up when the doorbell rang again. "I'll be right back." She retreated out into the hallway and opened the door. "Daniel, I thought you were…out of town."
"We got back early so I booked the next flight to DC." Daniel said with a smile. "I hope that's alright. I wanted to be with Charlie."
"That's fine." Rebecca replied. "I'll have Paul get the other guest bedroom ready."
"Are you sure?" Daniel asked.
"Of course I'm sure. Charlie's your son. You have just as much right to be here tonight and tomorrow morning." Rebecca replied, leading her ex-husband into the house. "Paul!"
"Yeah, baby?" Paul asked, jogging down the steps. "Daniel."
"Space monkey?" Jack asked as he and his family came to the living room doorway.
"Hi Jack." Daniel said weakly. "You have a house full, Rebecca."
"Nonsense." Rebecca said, taking Daniel's bag. She handed it purposely to her husband. "Can you put this in the room by Charlie's?"
"Of course." Paul said, before returning back upstairs.
"Grandpa John, Aunt Susan, Uncle Bill and Uncle Claude; this is Doctor Daniel Jackson. He's Charlie's father." Rebecca introduced.
"Daniel!" Charlie yelled when he spotted his father. He wiggled off of his great-aunt's lap and ran to him. "Mommy and Daddy said you weren't coming."
"My plans were changed." Daniel said, scooping up his son. "You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you." He took the boy into living room and Rebecca retreated into the kitchen.
Susan followed her niece. "You alright Rebecca?"
"Yeah." Rebecca said turning to her aunt. The two women started to prepare Christmas Eve supper.
Katherine joined them when she emerged from the upstairs. "I see Daniel has made an appearance."
"Ma, please." Rebecca sighed, looking at her mother-in-law.
"Need I remind you that the first time I met him he was hell bent on punching my son out because you simply suggested that Paul adopt Charlie?" Katherine asked. She sighed and looked at the woman who was her daughter. "You don't still feel guilty do you?"
"I can't help it." Rebecca sighed. "Paul loves Charlie to death. It doesn't matter to him that Charlie isn't his by blood … I just can't help but feel guilty. He accepted Charlie so easily because he loves me. Paul should be raising his own family not mine."
"Charlie is Paul's family." Susan said suddenly. "I could tell that the first moment that I saw them together. That wasn't the look of a man who is just raising his wife's son. That was the look of a man who was looking at his own son."
Rebecca shook her head. "There's something that you don't know…"
"What?" Katherine asked.
"After Daniel came back, before I left him and Paul and I officially got together…I found out I was pregnant." She looked from her mother-in-law to her aunt. "I just assumed the baby was Daniel's until my doctor told me how far along I was. There was no way in hell that the baby could have been Daniel's. It was Paul's."
"What happened?" Susan asked.
"I had a miscarriage." Rebecca answered. "I told Paul the truth after I had the miscarriage. To be perfectly honest I didn't find out for sure that the baby was his until after the miscarriage. The same day he found out that the baby died he found out that the baby had been his…he was devastated. I hugged him then walked away into the arms of my husband."
"But you two are meant to be together and be a family." Susan said after a moment. She squeezed her niece's hand. "You're still young Becca. You guys still have plenty of time to have children of your own together." The three women went back to preparing supper. They called everyone into the dining room when it was ready. Rebecca gave her husband an approving nod when she saw that he had seated Charlie between Jack and Daniel.
Patrick rose from his seat and gave a blessing over the food. He nodded at his brother and Paul stood. "I want to thank everyone for coming to our new house for Christmas. It is my hope that the O'Neill and the Davis families can become one family, especially for our next generation." He smiled at Charlie. "A toast to the future." Everyone clinked their glasses and Paul sat. Jack noticed that his daughter was the only one not drinking a beverage with alcohol in it. He filed that information away for later on. Jack knew that they had been trying to have a baby.
"We cooked you guys get to wash the dishes." Rebecca announced when dinner was over.
"Becca…" Paul whined playfully. His brother immediately joined in.
"That's an order Colonel Davis." Rebecca shot out.
"Yes ma'am." Paul said in a teasing voice. He jumped to his feet and began to clear the table. Paul and Patrick joined everyone else in the living room when the dishes were finished.
"Don't let their calm exteriors fool you my boys are hellions." James said as his sons entered the room.
"They haven't gotten to the embarrassing stories yet have they?" Patrick asked, as he slipped into the last empty seat which was next to Daniel.
"Not yet." Rebecca replied, from where she was sitting next to her grandfather.
"Good thing we came back in then, huh Ma?" Paul asked, sitting at his wife's feet with his back resting against her legs.
"Sing for us Becca." Jack said suddenly.
"My only audience lately has been Charlie." Rebecca said after a while.
"Nonsense, Becca." Paul retorted. "Your piano is in my office remember?" He got up and went to retrieve her guitar.
Rebecca took it and looked at Jack before she started to play. "I've never been the one to raise my hand/That was not me/And now that's who I am/Because of you/I am standing tall/My heart is full of endless gratitude/You were the one/The one to guide me through/Now I can see/And I believe/It's only just beginning/This is what we dreamed about/But the only question with me now/Is do I make you proud/Stronger then I've ever been now/Never be afraid of standing out/But do I make you proud/I guess I've learned/To question is to grow/That you still have faith/Is all I need to know/I've learned to love myself in spite of me/And I've learned to walk the road that I believe/This is what we dreamed about/But the only question with me now/Is do I make you proud/Stronger then I've ever been now/Never be afraid of standing out/But do I make you proud/Everybody needs to rise up/Everybody needs to be loved/To be loved/This is what we dreamed about/But the only question with me now/Is do I make you/Do I make you proud/This is what we dreamed about/But the only question with me now/Is do I make you proud/Stronger then I've ever been now/Never be afraid of standing out/But do I make you proud/This is what we dreamed about/But the only question with me now/Is do I make you proud/Stronger then I've ever been now/Never be afraid of standing out/But do I make you proud."
"That was beautiful darling." Susan said, smiling over at her niece.
Rebecca turned to smile at her husband. "I know, I know." He took the guitar from her and started to play. "I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house/That don't bother me/I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out/I'm not afraid to cry every once in awhile/Even though going on with you gone/Still upsets me/There are days/Every now and again/I pretend I'm okay/But that's not what gets me/What hurts the most/Was being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/What could have been/And not seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/It's hard to deal with this pain of losing you everywhere I go/But I'm doing it/It's hard to force that smile/When I see our friends and I'm alone/Still harder/Getting up/Getting dressed/Living with this regret/But I know if I could do it over/I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved in my heart/And left unspoken/What hurts the most/Was being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/What could have been/And not seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/Oh/Yeah/What hurts the most/Was being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/What could have been/And not seeing that loving you/Is what I was trying to do/Not seeing that loving you/That's what I was trying to do." Paul put the guitar back down and settled back against Rebecca again. She stared at him for a minute.
"I forgot that you could even sing like that Paul." Katherine said softly.
"I could have told you that Rebecca brings out the best qualities in Paul, mom." Patrick teased gently. It was a topic that the two brothers had often discussed.
"Do you want me to take him upstairs for you Daniel?" Paul asked when he saw Charlie fighting to stay awake.
"Nah, I'll put him down. If that's okay with you?" Daniel asked.
"That's fine." Paul replied. He watched his wife's ex-husband head upstairs with his son in his arms. "I think this is the most time that he's spent with his son since he was born." He commented casually.
"Don't start Paul." Rebecca shot back. She stood and collected the empty glasses before disappearing into the kitchen.
"What's going on Rebecca?" Paul asked, following her.
"Why must you belittle the time that he spends with Charlie?" Rebecca shot back.
"I'm not belittling anything!" Paul retorted, not caring that he was yelling. "I was just pointing out the fact that the man has nothing to do with my…Charlie."
"You can't handle the fact that I lost our baby and Charlie's not yours can you? You can't handle the fact that you have to share him with the man that used to be your best friend. That at one point you had to share me with him." Rebecca shot back as she headed out into the hallway.
"Don't walk away from me." Paul snapped grabbing her arm. "We're finishing this once and for all. I love that boy…"
"But he's not yours." Rebecca finished. "You've been distant Paul. You've been pushing me away. Actually come to think about it the only person in this house that doesn't have to beg you for your attention lately is Charlie. We promised that we would always be honest with each other. Tell me, do you wish that we weren't married that you were off with that slut that was wearing your shirt when I came back?"
"Leave her out of this!" Paul stormed, he went over to start loading the dishwasher. "I made one mistake Becca. I thought you were never coming back and I gave into temptation. You were the one that kept telling me that you loved Daniel. You spent four years playing hot and cold with me Rebecca. You couldn't decide which one of us you loved and wanted to be with. I'm human Rebecca. I'm a man not a saint. I don't have an iron will. I'm not like my brother that you love so damn much…I have needs too. You walked out on me when Daniel came back or do you not remember that?"
"You told me to!" Rebecca screamed back at him. She ducked reflexively when the glass flew out of Paul's hand and smashed into the wall next to her head.
"I know!" Paul yelled back before running out of the kitchen.
"Paul!" Rebecca yelled following him. She ignored the families gathered in the hallway and Daniel standing on the steps.
"Leave me alone Rebecca. Please, before I say or do something else that I'll regret." He threw over his shoulder before snatching up his jacket and keys and leaving the house.
"Paul!" Rebecca yelled. She watched as Paul's BMW sped away into the night.
"Do you want me to go after him?" Patrick asked, appearing suddenly at her side. He had her car keys in his hand.
"No … he'll come back when he's calmed down." Rebecca replied.
"Mommy?" Charlie asked from behind his father. "Why is Daddy mad? Did he hurt you?"
"No baby." Rebecca said, running her hand over her face and then turning to her son. "Daddy and I just had a little … disagreement. Come on, I'll put you back to bed." She moved towards the stairs and took the boy up to his room.
"This is my fault." Daniel said coming downstairs.
"No, it's not." Jack replied. "They've been having problems. Or rather Paul's been having problems at work and he's been bringing them home."
"And the fact that the older Charlie gets the more he looks like me can't help." Daniel replied.
"You're his father." Patrick said after a moment. "I think he regrets pushing Rebecca towards you instead of coming outright and telling her what he wanted. At the time Paul thought that being self-less and putting what he thought was Rebecca's wants and needs ahead of his own was what she wanted. In reality if he had told her that he wanted her to stay she would have walked away when you came back."
Jack shook his head. "He never outright asked her because of what she would be giving up. At the time he thought that Rebecca loved her job and wouldn't walk away from that for him. That's partly my fault. Everything she's done in her career for the past ten years has been in an effort to make me happy and to ensure that I'm proud of her."
Katherine nodded. "He did ask her to walk away, after September 11th. She told him no." Daniel looked at his ex-wife's mother-in-law in shock. "He asked her again after she got promoted to Captain. She said yes that time…"
"Then why?" Daniel asked.
"We found you." Jack said softly. "That was going to be her last mission and then she was going to hand in her resignation and leave."
"He resents what Charlie represents and doesn't even realize that he's doing it." John offered.
"What do you mean Dad?" Jack asked.
"I heard something mentioned about a miscarriage…" John started.
"I … I went missing right after Rebecca and I first got married. Everyone thought I was dead. After almost killing herself, Rebecca and Paul ended up getting together. She got pregnant right before I came back but didn't find out until after she lost the baby that it was Paul's. He was the one that had pushed her back to me in the first place. So on top of losing Becca, he lost his unborn child. Rebecca couldn't lie to him and she couldn't keep something that big a secret from him so she admitted that the baby was his. A couple of months later she got pregnant with Charlie." Daniel replied.
"Do you want me to stay?" Jack asked when Rebecca came back downstairs.
"I'll be fine." Rebecca replied. "The Davis' and Daniel are here. Paul will be back when he's calmed down. I'll see you guys in the morning." She said goodbye to her family and then went into the kitchen to clean up the broken glass from the argument.
"You sure you're okay?" Patrick asked from the doorway. "Mom, Dad and Daniel all went upstairs for bed so you don't have to lie."
"I'm worried about him Patrick. He won't talk to me. For the first time since I met him I don't know what's going on inside his head." Rebecca replied, throwing the remnants of the glass in the garbage before she finished loading the dishwasher and starting it.
Patrick sat on one of the stools around the island. "Rebecca, I'm not just your brother-in-law, I'm also your priest. You know that if you want to tell me something then it won't leave this room."
"If I had something to confess I would Patrick." Rebecca replied, turning to face him. "Go on up to bed. I'm going to lock up down here and then I'm going to try to get some sleep myself."
"You won't sleep until my brother walks through that door." Patrick accused softly, before standing and hugging her.
"We'll be fine. We're just going through a little tough spot right now." Rebecca replied, hugging him back. She watched him go upstairs before turning off the lights in the kitchen. Rebecca secured the downstairs before standing in the window of the living room, hoping to see the lights of the Beemer. She noticed in dismay that his cell phone was sitting in its charger on the hall table. Rebecca shook her head and wandered back to the den/office. She looked at her and Paul's military awards and medals hanging up next to each other before turning her attention to the pictures that Paul had on his desk. She picked up the only professional picture. It was one of the three of them that they had done after they had renewed their vows. Back before she had gone back through the Gate, back before she had almost gotten killed. If Rebecca could put her finger on when her husband changed it was then.
She drifted over to the piano that Paul had bought her for their first anniversary. Rebecca sat down and slowly started to play. "I could lose my vision/My eyes no longer see/I could lose my religion/In my struggle to believe/That would a loss/That would be a cross/I'd somehow rise above/But heaven help me if I ever lose your love/I've traded my innocence for the secrets of the night/Felt my calloused conscience lose it's grip on wrong and right/It cut me to the bone/But somehow I've held on/Cause I could feel your touch/But heaven help me if I ever lose your love/Cause you are the one light that shines on me/Without your love/God knows where I'd be/Lost without a prayer/Somewhere way out there/My soul would turn to dust/Heaven help me if I ever lose your love/Cause you are the one light that shines on me/Without your love/God knows where I'd be/So hold me close again/Tell me it won't end/And that will be enough/Heaven help me if I ever lose your love/Heaven help me if I ever lose your love." She closed the lid over the keys and rested her head on the cool wood.
"What are you doing still up?" A low voice startled her.
"I couldn't sleep." Rebecca admitted, getting up and setting the picture back on the desk.
"I figured you would have gone back to Jack's. Or possibly upstairs letting Daniel comfort you." Paul muttered sardonically before crossing the study and pouring himself a drink. He tossed the first one back and then started to pour a second one.
"You don't need that." Rebecca said, coming forward and taking the glass from him. "It's not some pressure at work like Dad tried to explain away. You didn't start acting like this until after I went through the Gate that last time." She grabbed Paul's arm when he would have walked away. "Talk to me Paul. Don't shut me out, please. Don't pick a fight so we won't talk about it. Just tell me what's going on with you. Please. Let me in."
"I'm going to bed Rebecca." Paul muttered before starting towards the door of the study.
"Please don't walk away from me Paul." Rebecca pleaded, running forward and wrapping her arms around him. The tears that she had held in fell unchecked down her cheeks. "Are you mad that I made a decision without talking to you about it first? It was just supposed to be a regular mission. In and out."
"Becca please…" Paul pleaded. Paul turned to face his wife and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry baby. I…I felt so helpless. God help me, I hated you for putting me in that position. I'm supposed to protect you and I couldn't. All I could picture in my head was having to tell Charlie that you were gone. Knowing that my life would be over…"
"You would have killed yourself if I had died." It wasn't a question it was a statement; one that she already knew the answer to.
Paul nodded. "When we brought you back and your heart stopped…I was planning how I could get away from your father long enough to put a gun to my head. When you came back to me I realized how selfish and guilty I was. I claim to love Charlie like he's mine but if he had been then I wouldn't have been planning that. I couldn't have left him. Somehow, knowing that he had Daniel and your father was enough for me."
"Baby … you were distraught." Rebecca replied gently. "If our roles had been reversed and I had come upon what you did in the cave then I would have contemplated the same thing. The important thing is that I'm alive. Charlie needs a happy home with two parents that love him and each other. We can't give him that with this hanging between us…"
"You're right. I'm sorry. Am I forgiven?" Paul asked.
"There's nothing to forgive." Rebecca replied. "Come on let's put the presents under the tree and then go up to bed."
The next morning, the O'Neill gang returned so everyone could exchange presents. Both Paul and Daniel had video cameras on Charlie while Rebecca helped him open his presents. Jack and Rebecca even produced gifts for Daniel. Paul handed the camera to his brother and then went over to kneel next to his wife and son. He pulled out a wrapped package from under the tree. "Merry Christmas baby." He watched as she carefully opened the present. "I know that I haven't been the best husband lately, but I just want you to know that I do love you."
"Paul, it's beautiful." Rebecca breathed. She pulled out the single strand necklace with a perfect teardrop diamond. "Momma had one …"
"Just like it…I know that Kinsey destroyed it." He pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her softly before fastening the necklace around her neck. "I love you."
"I love you too." Rebecca replied, before kissing him again.
"We have a Christmas present for everyone." Paul said, standing and going over to the television. He turned it on and started the tape in the VCR before sitting on the floor next to Rebecca and Charlie. Pictures that showed Rebecca and Paul's courtship and marriage flashed up on the screen. The second to last slid was one that simply said, 'Merry Christmas Grandpa Jack, Grandma Katherine, Grandpa James and Uncle Patrick.' Everyone glanced at the couple. The last slid was a sonogram.
Jack was the first person to gather his wits. "Was that Charlie's sonogram?"
"No." Rebecca said softly.
"I'm going to be a grandfather again?" Jack asked.
"Yes." Rebecca replied. She laughed when her father was on his feet in an instant and spinning her around. Cheers filled the living room as everyone congratulated the couple.
"When are you due?" Katherine asked, touching her daughter-in-law's still flat stomach.
"Middle of May." Rebecca replied.
"I'm going to be a grandfather again!" Jack muttered again in the background. He patted Daniel on the knee. "You alright?"
"Yeah, he's given her what I couldn't…a family." Daniel replied.
