Zoie
I entered the throne room to find Castor pacing back and forth, spouting off orders to the new head of the guard, Mason.
"They will send back a full report as soon as they arrive, no exceptions. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Your Majesty. I will see to it right away."
Castor stopped and finally regarded my presence then turned to Mason and nodded, "You may go." The man bowed quickly and left the room.
"What's going on?" I asked him.
"I'm sending a search party to Sulstin to find Vessus. As you're already aware, he hasn't sent word in over a month, and neither have any of the guards that accompanied him. I'm through with waiting. At this point, I fear the worst."
"Word about Siamon would have reached him weeks ago. Maybe he's in mourning," I offered, trying to appease him. Castor had been on edge since Siamon's death. The air between us remained tense, though he had seemed to come around to the fact that Anna was innocent.
At first, I had been grateful for Vessus' departure, taking the opportunity to search his office thoroughly. However, I had found no other journal entries or anything relevant. Now that I was sure he wouldn't be returning, guilt rested in my mind because of my initial feelings. In just three months, we had lost a king, an advisor, and the head of the guard. And still, we were no closer to taking out the force that caused their deaths.
"If the silence was just from Vessus, I might believe that." Castor sighed. "We are flailing. The Fae are starting to catch on. I've had several guards already threatened or attacked throughout the city in the past two days."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"They've been taken care of. The minor infractions didn't call for your judgment."
My jaw clenched in frustration but I bit my tongue. Arguing would get us nowhere and we had done enough of that the past six weeks. "So, what are you planning to do to resolve this?"
"If it keeps up, we will have to make an example of one, maybe a few."
"Won't that just make it worse? If you take extreme action to silence them, it will cause more to rise up."
"And what would you have me do?" he shot back in an annoyed tone.
Again, I bit my tongue before calmly saying, "Let them see that everything is fine, even if it's not. Just the illusion could ease their minds. You have a reputation for throwing grand feasts, which you haven't done since my birthday. You need to continue as you would if everything was under control." I paused for a second, trying to gage his opinion by his expression. "This approach has proved sufficient for the kings before you. It's worth a try."
He continued to stare at me in silence before finally conceding, "Then I suppose I'll make the arrangements."
I nodded. "I also came here to inform you that I will be leaving the palace for a few days. I need to go to Delfas."
"Delfas? Why?"
"There is someone there who may have insight into what caused father's death."
"Then we'll send someone to inquire further. You cannot leave the palace right now. It's not safe."
"I understand your concern, but I wasn't asking for your permission. This is something I have to do." I walked out of the room, ignoring him as he called after me.
####
Anna
"You need to see a healer or-or something. Mom, tell her," Kes said.
I groaned and wiped the sweat from my face, "I'm fine. It's probably just the food. It's not settling right."
"Hey, don't insult the food, okay? I help make the food, and I know that's not why you're sick," she sulked.
"She's right. It's not the food," her mother said. "Ksenia, go get some more broth from downstairs, would you?"
"I should be getting Castor. He can help her."
"Get the broth," Tenia ordered. Kes rolled her eyes and then left the room. I didn't see the point of her going to get broth. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it down anyway.
"How long has this been going on?" the woman asked me softly.
"I don't really know. About a week, I guess."
"Does Zoie know?"
I shook my head. "It only happened once while she was here. Please don't tell her. I don't want her to worry. It'll go away on its own, I know it."
She sighed and came to sit next to me on the bed, "You're not sick." She rested her hand over mine, "Though I've never experienced it myself, I have witnessed it with the late queen and several other women. And I know this will be hard for you to hear… but it is what it is."
I furrowed my eyebrows, unable to make sense of what she was getting at. "What is?"
"You're most certainly pregnant."
My stomach twisted, and though I had been sure there was nothing left in it, I grabbed the bucket that sat by my feet and lost the last bit of fluid my insides still held.
Once I regained my composure, I took the water Tenia held out for me and rinsed my mouth. "That… that's not possible," I whispered, even though my mind was screaming. The only way that could have happened would be if Siamon…
I heaved again, but my stomach was truly empty now, and Tenia softly rubbed her hand in circles on my back. When I finally pulled myself together, she asked, "Do you want me to get Zoie? I think-"
"No," I said, louder than I intended. I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head, "No. You can't tell her."
"Can't tell who what?" Kes asked from the door way. When I turned to face her, her eyes widened, "What's going on?"
I could feel my heart pounding in every inch of my body. The nausea threatened to come back but I fought against it, standing up and grabbing the damp cloth from the bed to wipe my face.
"Anna?" Kes said softly.
"It's nothing. Everything is fine," I told her, taking my cloak from where it hung by the door. "I just need to get some air."
"Anna, you're not supposed to go outside-"
"It's okay, Ksenia. Let her go," her mother said.
"But I got you broth," she said, holding up the bowl in her hands.
I forced a small smile and lied, "I'll drink it when I come back."
####
Zoie
"Well, if we leave tomorrow around dawn, we'll make it to Delfas before sundown the next day. But that's only if we don't encounter any obstacles and the weather remains calm," Jace explained.
I nodded, "And that would mean that, if everything went smoothly, we would be back in five days, right?"
"It would depend on how easily we can find the mage. Other than that, I don't see why we wouldn't."
"Okay, then I need you to find two other guards to accompany us. I want to travel in a small group so as not to draw attention."
"I understand. I'll let you know by the end of the day," he said.
"Thanks, Jace. I'll see you later." Leaving him at the gate, I headed back towards the palace feeling lighter now that everything was set. Even if the trip didn't bring me any closer to finding out about the illness or my mother's writings, at least I was doing something. I was almost certain that the answers I needed weren't housed inside the palace walls.
It was early afternoon still, so I had enough time to go to the secret house to see Anna before coming back to meet Jace. I knew she was starting to get stir-crazy from being stuck inside that house for over a month. It was for her safety, yes, but she definitely wasn't use to not having the freedom to come and go as she pleased. I was, though. This journey I was about to go on would be the first time I travelled outside of the city in over ten years, therefore the feelings of excitement and anxiety were transposable from one moment to the next.
I decided to go to my room before going to meet her and when I opened my door, I found Kes pacing and wringing her hands.
"Are you alright?" I asked, walking inside and shutting the door. She paused and turned to me with a worried look. "Kes? What is it?"
She focused her eyes on the ceiling and bit her lips. "Um..." she began, her voice shaking. "I- I don't… My mom, she…" She was obviously on the brink of tears. I had rarely ever seen Kes like this before and it was beginning to scare me.
I hurried to stand in front of her, resting my hands on her upper arms and trying to catch her eye. "What's wrong? Is Tenia okay?"
She covered her face with her hand, shaking her head, "No… no, she's fine… It's not…" She pulled away from me and walked over to sit on the bed, and I hesitantly went to sit by her. "I have to tell you something but I… I don't know how. It's about Anna."
My heart dropped. "What happened? Is she okay? Kes, tell me what's going on."
She finally looked at me, "Anna has been getting sick the past few days, and she made me promise not to tell you, so I told my mom and we went to see her this morning and… Gods, Zoie, I am so, so sorry. I should've said something but I didn't want her to get mad-"
I quickly cut off her apology, "How sick is she?"
"That's the thing… she's not sick. She didn't want you to know but… my mom told me I should tell you," she explained, her voice starting to crack again. She turned away and whispered, "Anna… she's pregnant."
I stared at the side of her head, not understanding at first. But then it hit me. It hit me hard, right in the chest. I couldn't breathe. I clenched my jaw, struggling through it. "That bastard. That fucking bastard," I ground out. Jumping to my feet, fire pumping through my veins, I turned to Kes, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," she said softly.
I pressed my palms into my eyes as they started to burn. "Fuck!" The ultimate irony was that Siamon was already dead, so I couldn't kill him like I wanted to, but I hoped to the gods, in that moment, that Anna had. "Oh, gods. Anna… I have to go to her."
"No," Kes said firmly, standing up. She came over, pulling my hands away so I was forced to look at her, "You have to calm down. That's why I told you now. You can't freak out with her, but you can with me. Zoie, she can't see you break down, okay? You have to be strong for her," she said. Seeing the tears on her face made the reality of the whole situation sink in further and I covered my face again, beginning to cry in earnest as I sunk to my knees, my heart shattered. Kes knelt down beside me, wrapping her arms around my quaking body and holding me tight.
I had failed her. If she hadn't been afraid that I'd break things off, she never would have left the city. She never would've ended up in those stables…
"This is all my fault," I choked out when I could form words again. "How could I let this happen to her?"
"It's not your fault. He did this, not you… You couldn't have known."
I shook my head, unable to believe her. "No, it is my fault. Ever since she met me, she's been in danger. I… I said I would protect her and I wasn't... I wasn't there when she needed me. Oh, gods, Kes… I don't know what to do. How are we going to get through this? What… what am I supposed to say to her?"
She rested her head against my shoulder, "I honestly don't know. I don't think there's anything you can say to make this better, but I know that she needs you right now, so the best thing you can do is be there for her, alright? Blaming yourself isn't going to help her at all."
Nodding, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. "Okay… Okay. I can do this."
"Yes, you can."
"I have to go."
Kes let me go and stood up, reaching out a hand and helping me to my feet. "I tried to stop her but she left the house when she found out. That was almost two hours ago."
"It's okay. I know where she is," I said. "I need you to find Jace and tell him the trip to Delfas is off for now. I need to stay with Anna."
"I'll tell him."
####
Anna
I laid on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest and staring at my bedroom wall. The mattress felt unfamiliar beneath me. It had been so long since I'd been home that it felt almost wrong to be here, like I didn't belong in this place anymore. I was shaking, my body cold even though it was late spring and the air I breathed was humid and warm. I clutched the blanket tighter around myself and continued to stare through the wall. I couldn't close my eyes. Every time I did, I saw his face. I remembered the day I met him in the gardens. I felt his unwanted touch on my skin. Even then, he had made my stomach turn.
My back was colder than the rest of me since Rachel had gotten up off the bed. She had said something but I couldn't for the life of me remember what. My ears were ringing with static noise and I had to will myself to keep breathing, to not suffocate as my throat constricted involuntarily every few seconds.
I shivered when, all of a sudden, a wave of warmth rippled across my skin. I didn't need to move or look to know that it wasn't Rachel who had entered my room. My concentration faltered and I almost lost the battle with my throat as the bed shifted. I could sense her hesitancy as she moved to slowly, carefully lay down behind me. I knew she was afraid to touch me but I couldn't bring myself to give her a sign to let her know it was okay. The blanket lifted and she got under it. I could feel her heat even though she was a few inches away, still unsure. But then, finally, she moved closer, lightly pressing herself into my back. Her hand gently nudged its way under my arm and, without thinking, I let go of my knees and clasped it with both hands and brought it to my dry lips.
She brushed my hair away from my neck and placed a soft kiss. "I'm here," she breathed against the skin. Her words shot through me and I summoned the strength to turn around, immediately burrowing my head beneath her chin as my throat finally won out. The sobs began to wrack my whole body and I held onto her for dear life, not knowing if I'd ever be able to let go.
####
Lauren
I was ripped from the memory, the concrete walls materializing around me. Surveying the room quickly, I realized Castor was the only one there. "Where is Bo?"
"She's still in the memory," he said. "I wanted to speak with you alone before you went to the next one."
I shook my head, "No… No, I'm not going back. I can't go back."
"You have to."
Tears stung my eyes. I knew I didn't have a choice but I couldn't fathom returning. I couldn't be inside Zoie's head anymore. Not when I knew how the story would end. "Anna was pregnant… You never said anything about that… How can you expect…" I trailed off when my voice broke, unable to finish the sentence.
"I never said this would be easy. You can understand why I left a few things out. We never would have made it this far if I told you."
"And you have absolutely no idea what happened? You don't know why she did it? Why… why she killed her?!"
He bowed his head, "I truly don't."
"I don't believe you. There's something you're not telling me."
"It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not, Lauren. You will go back, because if you don't, you won't know how to stop whatever it is that caused these deaths, including Anna's," he said.
"Why me? Zoie obviously didn't know what those symbols meant and I'm pretty damn sure she didn't write that message."
He sighed, "I don't think she did, either."
I stared at him, feeling my anger rise and overtake my fear. "What?"
"I don't think she wrote the message, but that and the stone were all she left behind. She had to have a reason for that. After the next memories, I might finally know why."
"So you were lying this whole time?"
"I wasn't lying. She might have written it. I really don't know. But you can't run from this. You've tried in the past and you've both failed. You both were killed, every time, one way or another, you didn't survive long after. I know that you will do this… if not for me, then for Bo."
And there it was. The only reason I would ever do anything like this willingly. Bo. She was everything. I knew this with every inch of my being. To be the one responsible for her death was unimaginable, which is why I didn't think my mind could handle going back there. Everything they had gone through, and in such a short time. So far, it had only been three months but the bond they had was unexplainable. Just like the first time I had seen Bo. It wasn't clear back then, but a part of me knew that she would change my life. And despite the rough times we may have had, I couldn't live without her. I didn't have a choice.
"Don't pull us out until you have to," I whispered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now send me back."
