Chapter Warnings: Sexual Innuendos, Talk of Death/Aging
My Tumblr: blitzindite | Series Ask Blog: asktheoutside

Uh. The King/Bim friendship wasn't supposed to happen but it just sort of. Did? Bim can't stand animals, so they really weren't supposed to be friends. This fic has a mind of its own half the time, I swear.

...Instead of "game show host" I wrote "game show hoe" at one point and almost didn't catch it. I'm so sorry Bim. XD


February 14, 2031, 3:32 PM
Brighton, England

Many of the shops lining Brighton's streets were adorned with hearts and flowers, Valentine's cards, and some places even proudly displaying their special collection of women's lingerie for the holiday right where it could be seen from the street. It was…certainly something. Silver's city would never have such risque items on such blatant display.

Bim couldn't help a soft chuckle at the disgusted look that crossed the King's face when the pair passed one such shop.

"Do humans have any dignity?" the older Ego hissed under his breath. It was so soft that even Bim, right at his elbow, had a hard time picking up on the King's words. It brought another chuckle from the former game show host as he gave a small shake of the head.

"Silver's city didn't put on such a display, but plenty of other cities back home were more similar to…this," Bim gave a wide gesture at the nearest store with such a display in its windows.

"But do they really have to have it on such display?"

"Apparently so!"

Bim laughed at the look to cross over his companion's face. As a sex-repulsed aro/ace, of course the old Ego would have a pretty damn hard time seeing the appeal in something so risque. It wasn't before now that the poor guy had to look something like that in the face, however, and while the younger Iplier shouldn't have been laughing the King's reaction was…amusing. Had it been Bing who was also aro/ace, the idiot (the term was endearing, of course) would have been making jokes that had Bim uncomfortable, but the King? Not so much.

Looping an arm around his far shorter comrade's neck, Bim led him farther down the street. They had errands to run since they had volunteered to do so for the Irishman. As much as Bim wanted to window shop, they both needed to stay on track or the man would be calling them to see what was taking so long. He'd been hesitant to let them go out on their own as it was; they really shouldn't have been wasting time.

The suited Ego checked his breast pocket for the umpteenth time to ensure that both his card and the shopping list were right where he'd left them. It was habit, and Bim caught the King rolling his eyes and grinning from his peripherals. The former show host knew the items were there, he distinctly remembered tucking the list in front of the card. He couldn't have forgotten the action if he tried thanks to his ability. Couldn't forget a damn thing, for that matter.

In fact, why did he have a list? Seán knew about Bim's memory. Then again, the man had a lot on his mind; especially now that he was trying to help the four currently crashing at his place find some sort of apartment as close to his place as possible.

Adjusting his lapels, Bim glanced up at the signs as they passed each store. In the window of one he saw an advertisement for a sparkly black suit. He could just feel the King's humored gaze falling on him.

"You want it?" he asked.

While Bim was tempted to say yes, second thoughts made him rethink. Especially with how cheap it was. "No. Poorly made, I'm sure—and that glitter would get everywhere!"

"Like Wilford's?" the King laughed then. It had always been contagious; so similar to their creator's and bringing Bim to start laughing as well. Bim had had Wilford cover him in the bright pink mess just because he could more than the former host cared to count.

…Damn. It had been months since he'd last heard from Wilford. The two used to sit for hours slaving over edits on their shows, throwing jokes and insults at one another as they worked. When Bim was doing his show, Wilford and the Jims ran the cameras and other equipment, and vice versa. "You know, I didn't realize how quiet it was without Will around. Kind of miss the old nut."

King rolled his eyes with a bright grin. "Nut? That was on purpose!"

Feigning surprise, Bim rested a hand over his heart. "Why, I'd never!"

An elbow struck him in the ribs, and Bim grimaced even through his laughter. The King's elbow was…far sharper than he'd expected. For a squirrely little…

…why did he want to think "man"? They were Egos. "Man" would refer to a human, just as it always had. There was Chase and Bing who used the word almost religiously of course, but it was just another part of their vocabulary; just as "dude" and "bro" were and always had been. But the rest of them? Not so much. They'd been Outside for too long. Bim was starting to pick up on the terms, and as far as he knew some of the others might have started to, as well. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe…it showed growth. An acceptance for their place among the humans, even if they weren't human themselves.

Bim's eyes narrowed thoughtfully behind his glasses as he fell back a step or two behind the King. That wasn't a bad thing. Why would it be?

The older Ego glanced back at him curiously. Bim just offered a reassuring smile and with a few quick strides found himself back at the King's side. "Thinking," he said as he looped an arm around the King's neck and steered him to a crosswalk. Without Horatio perched up on the King's shoulder, it was much easier to do that, too. There wasn't a squirrel Bim swore had it out for him chittering and swiping at him to take it a step back.

"You know…I've been curious of something for a while now." After the duo had been silent for so long, Bim grimaced sympathetically when his sudden words brought a visible jolt from the King. King didn't actually say anything, but the arch of his eyebrows was enough to tell Bim to continue. He opted to lower his voice and lean in a little to better avoid the risk of humans overhearing. "Our, uh…lifespans. I'm…curious how long we can expect to live without needing to rely on the fans."

A look of surprise crossed his comrade's face. "I…hadn't thought of that," King admitted as his brows furrowed. His gaze flitted about a moment, beady eyes narrowing as an elderly couple's gaze lingered on them for too long, before he offered a small shake of the head. "Back home we could live forever. As long as we had the attention for it."

"Exactly." Bim's gaze drifted up as he took in the sight of the store they needed to pick some stuff up from farther down the street. If their appearances changed when they came Outside to make them seem more human rather than doppelgangers or clones to their creators, could anything else be affected? In theory, an Ego could live for hundreds, if not thousands, of years as long as they were fed the attention they needed to survive. Would they age now that they were in the humans' plane? It wouldn't be very human if wrinkles and grays and sore joints didn't eventually set in, after all. At the same time, auras and powers weren't exactly human, either.

Jackieboy and the King were already gray with the King even having wrinkles framing his eyes, and surely some of the others were in a similar state as well! Bim…wasn't sure what to think of that.

"Now that we don't rely on fans…what is our lifespan?" Bim adjusted his suit jacket, and then glasses, with his free hand. The other remained around the King's neck to keep their heads close enough to speak softly.

Behind his own glasses, smudged so badly it was a wonder he could see out of them, the King's eyes narrowed again; this time in thought. "Could we be restrained to that of a human?"

"Should ask Doc," suggested Bim, "ask him to study it for a few years?"

All the King offered was a shrug in response that the former game show host returned. How they hadn't thought of it before was beyond Bim.

No. Scratch that. It made perfect sense that none of them had. They were all so relieved to even have time left that they hadn't cared to think about how much there would be. As far as they knew they would live to be one hundred, max. Or their lifespan could double or triple, or anything beyond, that of a human.

Doc and Schneeplestein used to always go about cursing when they discovered something new about their kind because studying the discovery took time out of the jobs they were created for. Even their auras weren't completely understood. Their very souls, arguably their most important aspects, and it still wasn't entirely known how they worked; just that they did. Oh, Doc would be pissed. It would take him years to figure out how long they could expect to live, and with the other missing doctor already on his mind he was going to have his hands full.

Even if it would be a pain, Bim wanted to know. Surely the others would, too.

He'd be sure to remember to text Doc later.