Yo momma so fat. . .

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"Where the hell did they disappear to?" asked Dean.

"I-ate-them." said the squirrel in a highpitched voice, it's words running into one another.

"Holy crap, the squirrel spoke!" exclaimed Dean.

"Really Dean, that's the most eloquent response you can come up with?" asked the squirel.

"The talking squirrel ate a dragon and a unicorn, both of them were like a hundred times your size, wow, just when I thought this day could not get any weirder." said Sam looking dazed.

"My name is Felix." said the squirrel.

"As in the third secret keeper?" asked Zaru.

"Yeppers, and I'm here to help you in your totally insane and possibly suicidal plan." said Felix as he threw the nut to the side and rolled onto his stomach and burped loudly.

"And why do you want to help us?" asked Annabelle, looking at him sideways.

"Because Lucifer once called my mother fat, I think his exact words were 'Yo momma so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.' Yes, the devil is into yo mama jokes." said the squirrel as it rolled it's eyes. "But then again I did tell him that he needed to lighten up, but no one, I mean no one talks about my mommy that way." said the squirrel. "Even though she is a bit on the heavey side." he muttered to himself. Suddenly he burped again before throwing his head back and groaning.

"You alright man?" asked Dean.

"noooo." groaned the squirrel. "I think those two idiots are still fighting."

Suddenly the squirrel began to dry heave, it's back hunched over as awful retching sounds filled the air, suddenly a large green foot popped out of it's mouth. Everyone watched in suprise as first Damien's large green body slid out of the squirrel's tiny mouth, followed closely by Branjidth.

"How the hell did those two fit in there?" asked Sam, his eyes wide and round.

"Hellooo, magical being." said Felix as he rubbed his stomach. "Aaww man, did you breath freaking fire in my freaking stomach?" he asked, glaring at Damien

"Er. .. heh heh, maybe." said Damien, looking sheepish. "Then again, you did swallow us whole." he said his sheepish look quickly turning indignant. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You two idjits were tearing up his yard." said Felix in a perfect imitation of Bobby who looked stunned at the acurate impersonation.

"He started it." mumbled Branjidth as he turned away from Damien.

"Oh just let it go, you just couldn't handle the fact that I didn't want you anymore." said Damien as he rolled his eyes and folded his arms, turning his back to Branjidth.

"Hang on, you two?" asked Zaru, stuffing her knuckles in her mouth.

"Back in the day, these two were inseparable, smooching all over the place, making out everywhere. I was actually pretty relieved when they split up." said Felix as he rubbed at his stomach.

"Wasn't my fault, mr green and scaley couldn't stop flirting with anything that moved." mumbled Branjidth, shooting the dragon dirty looks.

"Just so we're clear, no more fighting before you damage this nice man's property ok guys." said Felix as he looked at the other two secret keepers who were facing determindly away from each other.

"So we've got the complete sword, all we need now is the devil and the shroud." said Sam trying to get back to familiar territory, the extra-species gayness was starting to get to him.

"Yes darling, but it's easier said than done, because we need the help of an ange. .. oh silly silly me, we've got two of them right here." said Damien refering to Cas and Ari but keeping his eyes glued on Cas who stared back with his innocent puppy face totally oblivious to the lustful gaze he was receiving.

"We can go get it right now, you and me, my sweet, sweet angel." said Damien.

"I am not sweet, Zaru has informed me that I am a little salty." said Cas as he tilted his head sideways.

"Ooookay man, way too much information." said Dean as Zaru slapped a hand to her forehead while shaking her head.

"Will you stop hitting on everything with male bits." said Branjidth eyeing Damien with disgust.

"You're just jealous that I've moved on." said Damien putting one hand on his waist as he waved his index finger at Branjidth before blowing a raspberry at him, his long scaley tongue suprisingly blue.

"Jealous my ass." muttered Branjidth. "I don't have to take this" he said as he stalked back into Bobby's house to look for an apple.

"Damien, you tell them where the shroud is, I'm gonna take a look at this place." said Felix as he turned on his side and rolled towards the house, getting to his feet when he reached the large hole where the door used to be. He looked at the hole before turning back and shaking his head at Damien who shrugged.

"Great, looks like I'm running a supernatural petting zoo." grumbled Bobby. Felix looked back at the door and tapped one of his back legs on the ground 10 times.

"What is he doing?" asked Annabelle as she watched the squirrel. Suddenly the hole was gone and the door was back in place. Everyone stared at the squirrel as he turned back and waved at them before strolling into the house. Everyone aside from Damien that is, who was staring at each of the boys in turn with undisguised lust in his eyes. Wendy felt the surge of lust coming from the dragon and wrapped a possessive arm around Dean's waist. Dean looked down in suprise and caught her glaring at the dragon who was smirking back at her.

"Don't worry baby, you're my one and only." said Dean quietly as he slid an arm around her shoulders.

"One hour with me and you'll be swearing off women all together." said Damien as he winked at Dean who pointedly looked away.

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"You think Zaru and Damien have killed each other yet?" asked Wendy as she sat on the bed next to Dean who was lying on his back, one arm folded under his head, the other draped over his stomach.

"I don't know but I hope they at least got the shroud first." said Dean as he looked at her.

"If Zaru saw what he was thinking earlier, she'd have skinned him alive." she said with a giggle as she remembered the images she'd seen in Damien's head earlier.

"What did. .. you know what, I don't even want to know what was going on in that perverted Dragon's head." said Dean shaking his head vigorously almost like he could shake the thought out of his brain. "Speaking of which, how's the whole hearing thoughts thing going?"

"I can't hear thoughts anymore, which is a relief. That many voices was starting to drive me crazy." said Wendy as she put a hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn.

"You mean crazier." said Dean with a grin, earning himself a whack with a pillow. "c'mere." he said as he held his arms out. She slid down on the bed next to him and he wrapped his arms around her, her head nestling in the crook of his arm. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as he kissed her forehead.

"I hope they're ok." murmured Wendy, sleep starting to set in.

"They'll be alright, Cas can take care of himself, and Zaru won't let Damien's scaly lips get anywhere near Cas." said Dean with a chuckle.

"mmmm sorry I couldn't stop him from violating your gorgeous mouth." she said as her eyes started to close, loving the way his strong arms encircled her, making her feel protected and safe.

"It's ok baby, at least now I can say I kissed a dragon, gross as it was." joked Dean. "You think my mouth is goregous?" he asked with a wide grin

"mmmhmmm sexiest mouth ever. If he does it again, I'll kill him, do it if he even looks at you funny." she murmured, her words starting to slur together, the sleepier she got. Dean gazed down at her and grinned as he tightened his hold on her, kissing her forehead with afore mentioned goregous mouth.

"That's my girl. Good night baby." he whispered as he switched off the lamp next to them.

"g'nt." she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his chest, her breathing deep and regular as she drifted off to sleep. Dean smiled in the dark as he closed his eyes and listened to her breath. He felt a peaceful calm wash over him, he fell asleep in his favorite way, with the woman he loved snug in his arms.

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Somewhere deep in a South American Jungle. .. ..

"I swear, if you try that one more time I will pull your teeth out one by one." growled Zaru as she slapped Damien's hand away from Cas. It had been slowly inching towards the angel's rear.

"I can't help it, that thing is calling out to me, just begging to be squeezed." sang Damien as he made a squeezing motion in the air and winked at Cas.

"Did you really have to come with us to get the shroud, couldn't you have just told us where it is?" asked Zaru, wanting to get Cas as far away from the dragon as posible.

"Only I can see the tree, well me, Felix and the four-legged-freak-who's-name-shall-not-be-mentioned, besides he can't just pop over to it, this part of the jungle is cloaked with anti-angel spells, you can walk in but you can't just pop in." said Damien with a smirk.

"Fine, where is this tree?" asked Zaru.

"It's over there." said Damien pointing at a large clearing. "Come with me hot stuff." he said as he grabbed Cas' hand.

"Damien." growled Zaru.

"Relax, I won't do anything inappropriate." said Damien, "Unless he asks me to." he said as he winked at Cas who tilted his head sideways and looked confused at the exchange.

"I will not ask him, I promise." said Cas earnestly as he looked at Zaru who smiled fondly at his innocent expression.

"I know you won't." She said as she smiled at him. "It's him I don't trust." she said shooting a warning look at Damien who rolled his eyes and held out Cas' hand towards a seemingly empty space. As soon as he touched the tree it turned visible, it towered over them and it's trunk was so wide they could have all joined hands and spread out and would still have been unable to encircle the trunk.

"You stick your hand right in there, and you should feel the shroud." said Damien. Cas stuck his hand in a large hole in the trunk and his fingers closed around the large piece of cloth. He pulled it out and found himself staring into a pair of dark purple eyes.

"Oh crap." muttered Damien. "We're in trouble."

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*runs around the room in circles screaming* NOOOO! PURPLE EYES! TROUBLE! AACCK! *spots you and stops running* erm. .. well this is awkward, you caught me in my momentary panic, not to worry though my muse says she'll fix it, but she's sitting in the corner playing patty-cake with my imaginary friend and she's only let me in on a little bit of what's to come, so I can say there's a little lemoney goodness in the next one, someone says something mushy and bunny ears are involved.

Thanks for the fantastic faves, the awesome alerts and the r. .. um.. .. rrr. .. aww man, I can't think of a good describtive word that starts with r :( . .. hmmm... let's do it like Scooby Doo and say rrrabuluous reviews :D

*singing* Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now, Come on Scooby Doo I see you. .. .

Ok, this little monologue has gone on long enough, I may or may not be rushing on caffeine as I type this, meaning I'm super, extra, most surely hyper. . .. ok, I be quiet now *zips mouth and hops away* ^_^