His eyes flicker open and then close again. "Be patient," the nurse can sense everyone's instinct to bombard Sid with encouragement. She takes charge of the situation, positioning herself between Trina and Sidney. "Sidney, you're in the hospital," her voice is loud and firm. "It's important that you stay still, don't try to sit up or move, okay?" She's practically shouting at him, but my heart soars when I see him give her a tiny nod. His lips part, and we're all holding our breath, waiting to hear what he has to say. "Don't try to speak," the nurse instructs while pressing the call button, summoning the doctor.
Within seconds we're all hurried out the door and back into the waiting room. Troy gets on the phone immediately, calling the club to let them know the news. "He's awake," Troy can barely get the words out, his voice betraying him. "The doctor is with him now, we'll let you know as soon as we find anything out." Troy listens to the voice on the other line, nodding here and there, agreeing that this news will spread quickly. "Trina and I will talk to reporters," he says confidently and Trina chuckles from across the room.
"I guess we're giving interviews now," she shakes her head, but nothing can spoil this moment. She hugs Taylor tight, and kisses her hard on the top of her head. It's a sweet moment that is interrupted by the attending nurse.
"Taylor?" she glances around the room, unsure which of us answers to that name.
"Yeah?" Taylor sits up a little straighter, ready for anything.
"He's asking for you," the nurse says, and it's music to everyone's ears. Taylor stands quickly and follows the nurse into Sidney's room. Taylor first? I run through every possible reason and settle on the fact that she's young and he probably knows she isn't handling this well. He knows you're strong. I don't feel strong, but he probably thinks I can handle waiting a few extra minutes. I can't help the smile that creeps across my face. He's going to be fine. I just know it.
I sit across from Trina and pull out my cell phone. It feels like weeks since I last spoke to my family, and I really have no idea what's going on outside the hospital. I decide to text Carter first.
"He's awake. Haven't seen him yet. I'll keep you posted." Then I send the same text to Jill and my parents. I tuck my phone away, and try to settle my nerves a little bit. The worst is over, and now we can focus on getting him home. Home. I run through a checklist of everything he'll need to be comfortable at home, and then it dawns on me - I have absolutely no idea what kind of care he'll need after this. Will he be able to eat solid food? How much moving around will he be able to do? What kind of rehab is involved with an injury like this? I have no clue.
The door swings open, and a tear-stained Taylor walks through. "He wants to see Mom," she whimpers. Trina takes a second to hug Taylor, who finally cracks a smile. Maybe he's better than I thought. I move toward Taylor and she practically dives in my arms. Poor thing. Waiting any longer would have probably killed her. She lets it all out, all of the worry she's been carrying over the past few days just comes tumbling out in a mess of tears.
"He's gonna be just fine Taylor, I just know it," I console her, and she squeezes me tightly.
"I know," she whispers, and I'm relieved to hear it. She wipes her face on the sleeve of her shirt, and steadies herself. The gives Troy and I a bright smile and announces that she feels much better. Troy seems satisfied with this and continues watching the door like a hawk, he and I both waiting for Trina to return. I thought waiting for Taylor to see Sid took forever, but Trina is taking her sweet time.
What is taking so long? Taylor is making calls to anxious family members, letting them know that he's awake, and seems to be in good spirits. Troy is impatiently waiting to see his son, wearing a hole in the floor with his nervous pacing. He won't like seeing Sid last, but I hope Trina can calm him a bit while I have my time with Sidney. If he ever asks for me. I can't believe he didn't ask for me first. My heart sinks. It's Benny all over again. Waiting in a room similar to this one, surrounded by his family, as one-by-one they were all acknowledged, invited to spend a few minutes with him, remembered. Fear grips my heart, and my hands start shaking. I can't live through that again. He'll send for you next. Of course he will. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and try to settle my nerves.
The sound of the door flying open pulls me back into the moment, and I open my eyes to see Trina, completely delighted, walking into the room. "He asked to see you," she beams...to Troy. He's out the door in a flash, and I couldn't be more jealous. "Well I feel a hundred pounds lighter," Trina sighs in relief. It is a weight off, knowing he's awake and...
"Is he talking?" I ask hesitantly. Suddenly, I feel like the little fat kid picked last in gym class. I feel like I don't belong, and asking Trina to describe Sid to me just seems...wrong.
"A little bit," she nods with an excited smile. Taylor moves to sit with her mother, handing over her cell phone so Trina can talk to someone back home. I fidget nervously, playing with my ring, feeling ridiculous wearing it. My insecurities take over and I start making a mental list of all the things that come before me in Sid's view. His family. That much is clear. When the chips are down, he's asked to see them first. Hockey. No brainer there. Of course he loves hockey more than me. There's no one on the planet who would believe differently.
Waiting for him to wake up was excruciating, but this is a hundred times worse. What if he's completely changed? What if he has brain damage? What if he doesn't remember me? What if he never remembers me? My legs feel shaky, and I take a seat across from Taylor. Her head is buried in her hands, the anxiety of the day having completely exhausted her. Sitting isn't helping. I shoot up, and resume pacing.
The room isn't big enough, and my laps around the small space draw looks from both Trina and Taylor. "I'm a little restless," I explain with a sheepish grin.
"Oh Kate, you need to get some sleep. Once you've seen him, you'll feel so much better. Then you can go home and rest!" Trina says with such authority that I don't dare challenge her. It seems unlikely that I'll suddenly feel comfortable enough to leave his side, but I keep that to myself.
"Sit down, you're making me nervous!" Taylor pats the seat next to her, and just as I'm about to sit, Troy walks through the door.
"You can see him now," he smiles at me. I rush past him before considering his choice of words.
You can see him now. Does that mean he asked to see me? I take hesitant steps toward the security guard, half-expecting him to turn me away. To tell me it's family only. To let me know that Sid doesn't know me or want to see me. Instead, he pulls the door open and for the first time in two days, he smiles. A deep breath in and I walk through the doorway. The curtain is pulled back, but Sid isn't facing me. I move closer, slowly, silently. Maybe I'm being too quiet. I don't want to startle him. "Sidney?"
Nothing.
I move in front of his bed, and feel warm tears streaming down my face when I see his beautiful eyes, looking up at me. "Hi," what a stupid thing to say, but I say it. He doesn't blink, twitch, smirk or speak. I move a little closer, and just as I'm about to take his hand in mine, I think better of it. "Do you know who I am?" I ask nervously, and his brow furrows in concentration. My heart sinks to the floor, and it's like all the air has been sucked from my lungs. He doesn't know me. I cover my eyes, not wanting him to see me in tears, and let out a silent cry.
"I was saving the best for last," he croaks, his voice sounding so pained that it's barely recognizable. I look up, and I'm sure the surprise on my face gives me away, because he shakes his head from side to side, calming my worst fears.
"Oh Sid!" I dive at him, covering his lips with mine in a flash.
"Slow," he pleads, and I lift myself from him instantly.
"Sorry!"
"Here," he lifts his hand slightly, and I quickly wrap my fingers around his. "You okay?"
"Never better," I chuckle, pulling the chair flush to his bed with my free hand and curling next to him. "You?"
"Could be worse," his voice is so hoarse I can't imagine him sounding any rougher.
"Don't talk," I beg him. "We don't need to talk." I kiss his shoulder and rest my forehead on the top of his arm for a second.
"We can talk a bit," he whispers.
"I'll talk, you just listen," I smile at him. "You need to rest your voice." Sid's hand moves in slow motion to his throat, and I stop him just before he touches the bandage. "Careful love," I hold his hand in mine.
"How bad is it?" he wheezes.
"Do you remember the game?" I ask quietly, and Sid nods. "Do you remember being cut?"
"Oh yeah," he groans.
"They rushed you here for surgery, and for a while it didn't look good," I spill a few tears remembering. "But you're awake now, and that's all that matters. Are you sore? Does everything ache?"
"Just tired," he says, and I can hear the exhaustion in his voice.
"Yeah, you've been through a lot," I tell him. His hand turns mine over and he holds it close to his chest.
"What?" he raises my hand, inspecting the ring on my finger. Oh my god. He forgot that we're engaged.
"You..." I struggle to find the words. "You asked me..."
"Teasing," a lazy smile spreads across his lips, and I feel my cheeks burn red.
"Brat," I shake my head, but I'm smiling now too. He's here. Safe. Happy even. "You'd embarrass me after everything I've been through!"
"Tell me," he turns serious.
"Just waiting," I shrug. "Waiting and wishing and praying and hoping...and here you are," I beam at him. "Dream come true."
