InfinityAndOne, thank you for your review. I'm glad you're able to see how much Ethan loves Kate. Ethan usually says quite a lot when he's comforting someone, so it felt a bit strange having to show that in other ways. I'm relieved it worked!
Bonnie Sveen Fan, Cal really has been a good brother in this story! I think it's probably good for both brothers to know Cal can look after Ethan when he needs it. Judy definitely needs to stay away from all of them in future! Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I agree it was really important for Ethan to realise Kate still needed him - he probably had trouble believing anyone could need him. It was probably also important for this to happen for Judy as it's so difficult to get help sometimes unless you've proved beyond doubt that you need it. But poor Kate doesn't deserve any of this.
Kate rested her head against Ethan's shoulder and told him about the first time she'd met Judy; her confusion over the name; the way she must instantly have forgotten Judy's face. "I know it was bad, but I didn't think I should let her see my mum. We had a long conversation before she became ill. She talked about who she was happy to see her in what state. She never mentioned a Judy – or a Julie. The people she was happy to see were people I already knew."
"Honouring wishes," said Ethan.
Kate nodded. "Yes. I was. But whenever anyone else came to the house, I always let them in. I gave them an update. I passed on messages. Some people I was able to call back and say my mum had asked to see them." She wiped a tear away. "But all the people who came to see her were people I knew, or at least people I'd heard about. Judy wasn't mentioned by any of them."
"Right thing," said Ethan.
Kate hugged him. "I don't know if it was right or not, but I believed I was doing the best I could in the circumstances. But I could have been wrong. I could barely think of anything. I knew I was going to lose her very soon and there was so much I had to do. I don't know how I did it all; I don't remember doing most of it, but the important thing is I did it."
Ethan hugged her.
"But when Judy came to see me today…" Kate went on to tell him of Judy's visit today: that she'd applied for a job in Judy's café without recognising her; that Judy had understandably hated her for what she'd done. Then she told Ethan what Judy had told her today. "But I didn't know. I had no idea. If my mum had told me she was gay, I'd have had no problems with that at all. Why would I? But she didn't tell me. Presumably, they must have quarrelled and didn't communicate for several months. My mother didn't mention her to me. She probably didn't expect to hear from her. And Judy didn't find out she was ill till it was too late..."
Ethan tenderly wiped her tears away and pressed his lips lightly to her forehead. His eyes sought hers. "Love you."
Only two words, but they meant everything. Kate didn't know if she'd ever forgive herself, but Ethan already had – if he'd ever felt he needed to.
She held Ethan tightly. So much had gone wrong for her, but in one respect, she couldn't be more lucky.
The next few days were difficult. Kate had to answer questions about Judy from the hospital and the police. Ethan was with her whenever he could be. She hated to put him under more pressure, but Cal said it would have stressed Ethan out a lot more if she'd said no. So he sat by her side, holding her hand, as she told the whole story again and hoped they wouldn't think badly of her.
The hospital staff, to her relief, were sympathetic. They would never let an unknown member of the public in to see a dying patient. "You did the right thing, Kate. You didn't know who she was. She could have been a complete stranger to your mother for all you knew and you were close to your mother so it was reasonable to assume she would have told you about Judy if she'd thought she was important."
"Then why didn't she tell me?" said Kate. "I wouldn't have minded. I'd have been happy for her and I'd have included Judy in everything."
"It's so difficult to say, Kate. It's possible they broke up before your mother told you the news, so it didn't seem worth mentioning. You tried to act in her best interests, but you didn't have all the information and that wasn't your fault. But you did a wonderful job of caring for your mother and I'm sure you made her life so much better and happier than it would have been without you."
"Thank you," said Kate tearfully as Ethan squeezed her hand. "I hope you're right. I really do."
The police were a bit more distant and didn't offer as much sympathy and understanding, but neither did they seem to blame her. They asked questions, wrote down her replies and wished her a speedy recovery. And then they were gone, leaving Kate to pick up the pieces of her life.
"Well done," said Ethan when they'd finished. "Very good."
Kate kissed him. She knew Ethan didn't mean to sound like a teacher complimenting a pupil. He really meant what he said.
"Proud," said Ethan, and he seemed not far off smiling. "Very proud."
"I couldn't have done it without you, Ethan," said Kate.
Ethan looked like he'd have had a lot to say to that, if only he could. Instead, he hugged her tightly. When Kate was in his arms, nothing seemed to hurt quite so much.
Ethan returned the following day and sat beside Kate on the bed, holding her tightly in his arms. She was well enough to sit in a chair now, but that would have meant being further away from Ethan, so she preferred the bed (Ethan had blushed horribly when she'd said that, though as she'd kissed him and told him he was adorable, he decided the incident probably hadn't damaged their relationship Kate never seemed to mind when he was embarrassing, stupid or innocent. Ethan thought that was probably just as well).
It was nice, just being with her. It would probably be an exaggeration to say he felt happy, but when he was with Kate, the heavy darkness seemed a bit further away. He even smiled sometimes because despite everything, he was still lucky. There were still times when he thought he was being selfish and he needed to get away from Kate for her sake, but he knew he couldn't do it.
She was already hurting and vulnerable and it wasn't what either of them wanted.
Ethan still had no idea why Kate wanted him, but not even he could doubt that her feelings were genuine. He didn't think she was capable of pretending to love someone when she didn't. Not even out of pity. He knew she had no idea what caring for someone with Huntington's would be like, but she did seem to understand his depression. She understood what he was saying, even when he couldn't say anything at all.
Kate was kissing him softly when there was a peremptory knock on the door. Ethan and Kate glanced at one another nervously, then Kate called out for the person to come in.
It turned out to be two people: Lily and a rather tearful Alicia. Lily had her arm around her mentee as she urged her forward.
"Hey, Alicia," said Kate gently. "What's wrong?"
Alicia's silent tears became sobs.
"I hope you don't mind that I brought her," said Lily.
"No, of course not!" said Kate. "I just hope I can help in some way."
I love you, Kate, thought Ethan, but he didn't feel able to say it in front of so many people – which might be for the best. It was probably the wrong moment.
Lily stroked Alicia's arm. "You can do this, Alicia." Her voice was rather clipped, but Ethan could tell she was being kind. He got up slowly and moved out of Alicia's way.
"Sit down," said Lily, and Alicia sat on the bed, still weeping.
Kate offered her a tissue. "It's okay. Take your time. But you can tell me anything, Alicia. I'm listening."
Alicia sniffed hard and wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kate! I'm sorry I told that woman where you were. I was so stupid."
"You didn't know who she was," said Kate gently. "It's not your fault."
Alicia continued to cry. "That's one reason why I shouldn't have done it. She seemed so lovely and she acted like she really cared about you, but I shouldn't have taken her word for it. I know all the people who have been visiting you regularly. I knew you'd already been attacked once so there were people who wanted to hurt you. I should have asked you first. I'm so, so sorry."
"It's okay," said Kate. "Judy told me something really important and I'm glad she told me. If you hadn't told her where I was, I'd never have known. And there's no way you could have guessed what she was going to do. You had no reason to suspect anything and as I haven't been living in Holby long, it's not unlikely that I'd have friends you didn't recognise. It's okay, sweetheart."
"I'm still sorry," sniffled Alicia.
"I know, Alicia. But it really is all right," said Kate. "Don't think about it anymore, okay? I'm not angry with you at all and as I said, I'm so grateful I got the chance to talk to her again."
Lily stroked Alicia's arm. "I told you Kate would understand," she said without the slightest hint of gloating or exasperation.
"I know. I… I should have known you were right." Alicia wiped her nose. "You usually are after all."
"As it was a prediction rather than certain knowledge, perhaps an element of doubt is only correct," said Lily.
Alicia hiccupped slightly and smiled. "Maybe you're right."
"Lily… usually… right," said Ethan. He looked anxiously at his girlfriend. "And Kate… usually… right."
"Oh, how much do I wish that was true!" said Kate, smiling.
Lily patted Alicia's arm. "I believe tea is appropriate in these circumstances. I will make it. If you permit it, Kate."
"I never mind being waited on hand and foot!" said Kate, who was glad Lily had offered. She still felt a bit wobbly for tea-making and she knew Ethan would be upset if he made the smallest mistake. "That would be lovely, Lily. Thank you."
