Chapter 45 A Man I'll Never Be
A/N I haven't left a note for everyone in several chapters. I want to thank you again for all of your terrific reviews. They give me so much pride and satisfaction with this story. I've been thinking on another storyline to start when this one is finished. What do you all think of Rewriting Season Three Completely? I haven't really added it in this story because I always though that Haley should have come home from the tour when Nathan went to get her. Please let me know. I'll be carrying this one on for a little longer. I won't be able to complete it until Season Six. Then I might to a sequel if there are enough requests for it. In the Season Three rewrite there will be more Keller even though I don't like him. He broke up my Naley for a little while. And I'm totally loyal to Naley. BUT I never did like it that he and Nathan became friends. That was one purpose for my rewrite of the bus scene.
Thanks again to all of you for reading this. It really makes me feel good to open my email and see your fabulous words.
Chapter 45 A Man I'll Never Be
It had been three weeks since Nathan had talked to Lucas and Cooper and he hadn't heard a word from Dan. Nathan refused to call him. He truly didn't want his dad in his life but if he talked to him again, he would give him an opportunity to see the boys. That was the least of his worries right now. Haley had a doctor's appointment that morning. She hadn't been feeling the greatest in the word, and Nathan was ready to get her there to find out why.
"Hales, are you ready to go?"
She moved quickly startled by his voice. "Yeah I guess so."
As she stood up, he heard her gasp and was beside her instantly. "Hales, what is it?"
"Oh my god. Here" She took his hand and placed it on her rapidly growing middle. "Can you feel that?"
"Yeah. Haley that's awesome. They are doing a ballet dance in there baby. Together it feels like." Nathan knelt down in front of her so he could speak to his little girls. "Hey you two, are you having fun?" With his hands still placed on her stomach he began to massage on each side of the swollen area. This caused the fluttering movements to be more intense, and stronger than before.
"Ahhh. Nathan. Must you get them started? You used to do that with Jamie and Bri all the time. Try to remember baby there are two now."
"What can I say Hales, I love to feel this." He smirked. Moving his hand down closer to the apex between her legs he added "and this" As he moved his finger between the folds on the outside of her clothes, finding the slit between her legs, he continued "and this." He finally stood up and claimed her lips repeating his mantra "and this"
"Okay Scott I get the picture." Haley grinned.
"Damn that was a Brooke line if I ever heard one."
"Ha ha, baby we're going to be late if we don't hurry. Don't you want to see the ultrasound of the twins?"
"You know I do Haley. I love you. I'll stop ok?"
"I love you too and you better or we'll never keep this appointment and it will just be that much longer before you get to see your "slit tails" as Cooper calls them."
"You know I don't know how in the hell I am related to so many perverts. He really pisses me off when he calls the girls that."
"Yeah. I know and if you say anything to him he reminds you that you will have four children at the age of twenty three Nathan. I've heard the skit, baby."
"And then Lucas has to pipe in and say that the sex must be phenomenal because I keep you bare foot and pregnant." Nathan laughed.
"Lucas just doesn't know when to shut up. Now come on baby let's go."
As Dr. Baldwin moved the wand to the ultrasound over Haley's protruding belly, she and Nathan stared in awe. "There they are you two."
The pictures of the babies side by side caused warmth to spread through both of their hearts. Nathan was so proud of his girls. He was proud of his boys but he wanted to make them tough. He wanted the girls to be sugar and spice just like their mom. As Nathan glanced over to Haley he saw tears forming in her eyes. He smiled and tightened his hold on the hand that was already tightly held between his. He took his other hand and pushed her hair back away from her face while bringing her hand up to his mouth to place a soft kiss on the back of it. She looked over at Nathan and the tears that she had managed to hold in her eyes were now rolling down her cheeks. Haley had always been sensitive but pregnancy, brought along hormone changes. This particular pregnancy had her crying most every day. He hated it but he didn't know how to change that for her.
"Haley, by the calculations and measurements, you are twenty two weeks along instead of twenty one like I originally thought. I want to talk to you two about performing a C section when Haley is ready to deliver this time. Haley you know that Jamie and Brian were both extremely large babies for a woman of your size, hell for a woman of any size for that matter. I believe that we should do a C section this time especially since it will be a multiple birth. I will cause less stress on your body and the babies."
Haley just stared at the doctor allowing her brain to process this information. She really didn't want to do that. Now she had several questions to ask. "Dr. Baldwin, it isn't even possible for them to be that large though is it? I mean not with two of them."
"No, it's unlikely Haley but I still think it would be for the best. My other concern is the difference in the size of the babies. Usually one is smaller than the other but, it appears that baby number one here on the left, it much larger than the baby number two. I want you to come in for weekly visits so that we can keep an eye on that. It might be nothing to worry about but I still want to watch it very closely."
"Dr. Baldwin is the second baby in any danger?" Nathan asked.
"Nathan I'm not sure. It doesn't appear to be right now but the difference in size could be an indication that it could turn that way. I don't want to scare you two and Haley the last thing you need to do is start worrying about this. I just want to be proactive instead of reactive here."
Nathan glanced at Haley and the back at Dr. Baldwin. "She's been looking pale lately and she hasn't been feeling good. Do you think you could do some blood work today just to double check? I mean I want to know for my own peace of mind that the anemia is not coming back and that we are out of danger of her having the preeclampsia that she had before."
"I think that's an excellent idea Nathan. Audrey will come in and draw blood so we can run those tests. Haley, how has your appetite been?"
"Not too bad I don't think. I mean I haven't been sick this time so my body is holding on to the nutrients and vitamins that I've been getting."
"Not too bad?" Nathan asked. "Dr. Baldwin for the last three days Haley hasn't had any appetite. Hales you have been sluggish and tired more than usual for the last several days. She hasn't eaten a lot. A salad here, an apple there, I get on her all of the time."
It was obvious to Nathan that the doctor didn't like this news. He looked back at the chart and Haley had only gained eight pounds in the five months that she had been pregnant. He looked over to Nathan "Son we'll see what the blood work says. Has there been any swelling?"
"Yes a little. My ankles stay swollen." Nathan nodded in agreement.
"Ok let's find out what's happening in there, ok?" Dr. Baldwin got up and walked out of the room.
"Hales why didn't you tell him baby?"
"Nathan I thought I was doing ok until you mentioned it."
After thirty minutes or so Dr. Baldwin came back into the exam room and sat back down on the stool. He looked at Nathan and then at Haley. "Nathan son you might have missed your calling. Either that or you're turning in to an old pro at this" he chuckled.
"What? What did you find" he asked his older friend.
"Haley, you definitely have an iron deficiency again. Your blood counts are extremely low and, I can see that you are having some blood sugar issues. You are borderline to having gestational diabetes."
Nathan held his head down. "Nathan, Haley, this could turn serious. Haley I am going to prescribe some medication for you to take. I want you to come back and see me in three days. If these levels don't come up closer to normal at least a little bit, we'll have to take other steps to keeping you and the twins healthy."
"What other steps?"
"Well, if we can correct this with oral medications, the next thing that we'll have to do is try intravenous medications. If that doesn't work, you are in danger of going into premature labor. The further your pregnancy progresses the more dangerous it will be for you and the babies."
"What will have to be done then?" Nathan asked.
"We'll have to put her in the hospital and wait." Dr. Baldwin answered, though he hated to. He knew Haley and this was not going to be pretty.
"Hospital? I can't go to the hospital. I have two small boys at home." She jumped up.
"Haley, you have to try to stay calm. That is not going to help. With the results of your blood work this way you can easily develop eclampsia. We don't want that. It can cause seizures, and even death. We have to keep you calm and rested, and no lifting over five pounds. If it weighs more than a bag of sugar you leave it where it is and ask for help ok?"
Haley nodded.
"Hey this can be corrected. It's not at the worst stage yet. We can prevent anything from going wrong Haley, if you'll just slow down and take the medication. I don't think we'll have to revert to any of the other solutions."
"She's going to rest Dr. Baldwin. Don't you worry." Nathan added. He looked over at Haley and received a slight smile. She knew that the next three and a half months were going to be spent, with her husband watching her every move and that was exactly what Nathan intended to do.
Once they made it home from the doctor's office and the pharmacy, Nathan glanced at his wife as she moved to sit on the couch. Once she had taken her shoes off she reclined back on the arm to lie down. He smiled to himself. He thought sure he would have to beg her to rest. Apparently she was overtired now.
His cell phone rang and he looked down at the face to see who it was.
"Yeah" he answered.
"Nathan, son, I was calling to check on you and your family. How is everyone?"
Nathan found it odd that he asked him that on the very day they had the doctor's appointment that they just had. "We're doing great Dan. What about you?"
"I'm holding my own I guess. I wondered if it would be possible for us to get some coffee and talk Nathan?"
"Ah I don't think that's such a great idea but, if you would like to see the boys I can take them and meet you at the River Court tomorrow around three."
"The River Court huh?"
"Take it or leave it Dan. This is not easy for me to do. I might as well tell you that Lucas and Cooper will be there too."
"Oh so you need body guards now for me to see my grandsons? C'mon Nathan, you can't mean that."
"You know what, I don't have to let you see them at all but if you do see them it will be on my terms in my territory and at my discretion."
"May I ask what's wrong with me coming to the house?"
"Yeah you can ask, but you already know the answer."
"Haley"
"Not just Haley. But your ability to upset her. I won't allow you to do that. You purposely picked a fight with Mom last time you were here. Haley has enough shit to deal with, without our family issues. You do remember she's pregnant with Twins right?"
"Of course I remember Nathan. I didn't intentionally upset Haley last time I was there."
"Dan you don't understand my wife at all. She can't stand to see people fight. She hates the situation we are all in. She wants to be able to change it and knowing that she can't is what upsets her. Showing her how bad it actually is only makes that worse. I will not put her or the twins in jeopardy like that. Now you can either meet us at the River Court while we're playing a game of pick up or you can forget the whole thing. I am not going to argue with you."
"Ok Nathan I guess that's better than nothing son. Please tell Haley I said hello."
"Why?"
"Nathan she's your wife, she's the mother of my grandchildren."
"No you think she is your way back in Dan and you can fucking forget it. DO you hear me?"
"Nathan, son, don't be that way. I didn't mean anything by it. For so long I made mistakes of not accepting Haley as your wife. I've worked on changing that. Plus, Haley has never treated me with anything other than respect. I can't forget that not after my past."
"Whatever, just be at the Rivercourt at eleven am tomorrow morning if you want to see Jamie and Brian. If you aren't there by one don't bother." Nathan closed his cell phone and looked back over to Haley to make sure she was still asleep.
Later that night as Haley had started dinner; Nathan came downstairs and cursed under his breath. "Hey, I'll do that"
"Nathan Dr. Baldwin didn't say I was on total bed rest. I can cook for my family."
"Besides, I've started an apple pie. I know it's your favorite. I slept this afternoon and as soon as we've finished dinner I promise I will get back on the couch. Ok?"
"Ok, Hales. Are you ankles still swelling?"
"Not as much as they were this morning, which is a good thing, usually they get worse during the day not better."
"Ok, I guess I am out of arguments huh?" He smirked.
"Yeah, I guess you are baby" She rose up on her toes to kiss his lips.
"Eww." Jamie frowned and turned back to his younger brother in the playpen. "Bri, they are at it again little brother." Speaking like his uncle Lucas always does.
"Hey Jimmy Jam, if you think that one was bad watch this." Nathan placed a hand on her neck and moved his lips to devour hers. Haley's lower lip immediately dropped allowing him access to the warm recesses of her mouth. When she felt his tongue running along her lower lip, she groaned.
"Dad that's just sick. Don't you know that girl's have cooties?"
"Not my girl Jamie." He grinned.
"That's only because she's mama" Jamie deadpanned.
"That's exactly why Jamie. Because if she wasn't my girl she wouldn't be mama now would she?"
"No, I guess not. Daddy?"
Pulling his lips away from Haley's just a little he spoke against them "Yeah Jamie?"
"What about Carrie?"
Nathan felt Haley stiffen in his arms. "What about Carrie Jamie? What do you mean?"
"Was she your girl too?"
"No Jamie. You're mom is, has always been and will always be "my only girl".
"Was Carrie trying to break you and mama up?"
"Yeah Jimmy Jam I think she was. Carrie is a sick person Jamie. I hope you know that I could never want another girl other than your mom."
"Whew. When you said that about if she wasn't your girl that she wouldn't be mama I remembered what Carrie said in the motel room that day."
Nathan moved over to kneel down in front of his son. "What did she say to you Jamie?"
"It was weird really. Her hair looked like mamas and she told me she was going to be my mama now."
"Jimmy Jam, you will always have only one mama and her name is Haley Scott son. I have no intentions of ever being with another other girl." Knowing how much Carrie changed her appearance to look like Haley didn't sit well with him. Something about that just was not right.
"Daddy when you married mama was it your best day ever?"
"Yeah Jamie, it was one of them."
"One? How come?"
"Well I've actually had four best days ever and soon it will be five."
"I don't get it." Jamie said looking confused.
"Well there was the first time I married your mama. Then when we renewed our vows was the second best day ever. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because they made your mama, mine and me hers, Jamie. It's the only thing I wanted back then the only thing I want now as a man. You're mom is the only woman I have ever loved that wasn't my mother Jamie. Did you know that?"
"No. But you said four."
"The day you were born and the day Bri was born was my other best days ever. And soon your sisters will be born and that will give me other best day ever. Jamie the day I became a husband and then the days that have made me a father to each of my children have made all of my dreams come true."
"Dad you really love mama don't you?"
"Yes Jamie I do. She is absolutely my whole world. I would never be the man I am today without her."
"Daddy, will I ever feel that way about a girl?"
"Jamie I can almost guarantee it." Nathan chuckled.
Haley had been smiling to herself during the whole conversation between her husband and her son. Nathan told their love story like it was a fairy tale to him. It always had been to her but to hear him describe it the way that he had, was heart warming. She moved over beside of him and he and Jamie hugged her as tightly was they could. Bri seeing everyone loving on his mama began to squeal a high pitched "Stop" causing the rest of his family to laugh.
After they had gone to bed, Nathan was lying on his back with Haley in his arms. They had just ended another round of making love and both were totally spent.
"Hales?"
"Hmm"
"Baby you have to know that I never wanted Carrie. You do know that don't you Haley?"
"Yeah, I do but it's nice to hear you say it. I thought that was the reason you did not want to fire her.
"Haley, if we hadn't hired her into a state funded program I would have fired her ass the minute she walked in with that sleazy shirt on baby. I need you to know though that I had no interest in her at all.
"I hope not Nathan." she whispered.
Nathan placed his finger under her chin to lift it up so she would look into his eyes. "Hales, she couldn't hold a candle to you baby. You're beautiful and you're everything that I could ever want. You're sexy. You have the face of an angel, the body of a goddess and the sex drive of a porn star. There is nothing anyone could give me that I can't get right here at home from the girl I am in love with and have been since high school."
"Nathan that's sweet of you to say."
"I'm not saying it to be sweet Haley, I am saying it because its' true. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want a life without you in it, baby. Look at me Hales. I never want to lose you. I never want to spend a day that you're not in my life sharing it with me. I never want there to be a day that I don't have the peace of knowing you are right by my side and that you love me as much as I love you."
Nathan saw the tears form in her eyes. He moved to claim her lips with hunger and passion but most of all the love that was in his heart for this woman that had made him so complete. His life would never be right if she wasn't in it. For the next two hours he showed her over and over how much he loved her in every way he could think of.
The following morning Nathan had Jamie up and dressed and Bri fed and dressed before Haley woke up. This was really out of the ordinary. It was almost time to go to the Rivercourt. He moved to sit on the bed beside Haley. As he placed his hand gently on her neck and then moved it up to cup her cheek, her eyes finally fluttered open. "Morning" she smiled her sleepy smile.
Nathan always thought that her first smile of the day right after she had awakened was the sexiest. "Morning Mrs. Scott" he leaned over to kiss her forehead.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. What about you Hales?"
"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm glad you woke me. I'll get up and go get the boys ready for your trip.
"Baby relax. They are bathed dressed and ready to go."
"What? What time is it?"
"A little after ten"
Haley quickly sat up. "What?"
"You my dear sound like a parrot this morning." He smiled.
"Nathan I can't believe I slept this late."
"Haley you needed the rest baby. It didn't hurt you I am sure."
"But, I wanted to go with you."
"Oh no. I do not want you up and moving around down at the Rivercourt today. Let's get your blood levels straightened out and get a good report for Dr. Baldwin first ok?"
"Ok. But what am I going to do until you get back." She pouted.
"I already thought of that too my beautiful wife. Brooke is coming over to keep you company. Cooper is going to be here in a few minutes and he's riding with me and the boys. Peyton wanted to come but she has a new girl in the recording studio, recording your new song. "Leaving Town Alive".
"Do you know who it is?"
"Of course I do but I promised Peyton that I would let her tell you."
"Nathan please."
"It's Bethany Galeotti"
"Oh really"
"Yep. Peyton says it's going to be a fabulous hit"
"Well I guess we'll see about that."
"Nathan?"
"Hmmm"
"Please let me go with you. Brooke and I can sit and talk on the bleachers can't we?"
"I guess you could Haley but if Dan get's out of hand I know it will upset you. I would rather you didn't go until I see how he is going to act baby. You know how he is as well as I do."
"But Nathan he's been so nice asking about me and the babies, I hate for him to think that I am trying to avoid him."
"Hales, I don't give a shit what he thinks and you shouldn't either baby."
"But Nathan…."
"Tutor Mommy times four" Brooke bounced in.
"Hey Tigger."
"Now Brooke, what if my wife and I were in here in the middle of something."
"Oh shut up Scott. Everybody knows that you two have already done that enough today to last you until afternoon"
"Yeah nephew. I remember those days at the beach every summer. "Oh God Oh God"
Cooper chuckled.
"Hey" Nathan warned.
"Whatever nephew you ready?"
"Yeah let's get this crap over with"
Later at the Rivercourt Nathan and Lucas were shooting around. Dan drove up and Cooper had been playing with Bri while Jamie was taking his own turn shooting the basketball with his dad and uncle. When he saw Dan, he stopped in mid step. "Grandpa"
"Hey Jamie" Dan greeted him and knelt down so he could give his grandson a hug.
"Grandpa watch me" Jamie told him as he shot the ball. The ball hit the rim bounced around it a few times and fell clumsily in the basket.
"Wow Jamie, you'll be shooting as well as your dad one day"
"Really?" Jamie's eyes lit up.
"Really Jamie."
"Hello son." Dan greeted Nathan and turned to Lucas. "Lucas, son I'm glad you're here"
"I'm here for Nathan and the boys Dan not you."
Nathan walked over to Cooper and smirked. "Cooper? Hi there Bri. How's grandpa youngest grandson?" Bri smiled at Dan and for just a second Nathan saw emotions cross his face that he never thought he'd see in his dad.
Dan turned back to Nathan and handed him a folded group of papers. "What's this?" Nathan asked.
"Read it Nathan."
"A will?"
"Yeah son. It's the smartest thing to do."
"You're leaving me the beach house?"
"Well yeah, our family had a lot of great times there. I want your family to be able to do the same."
"I don't want it Dan."
"What?"
"I said I don't want it. Haley and I have plenty of money. We can buy a beach house if we decide we want one."
"Nathan it's part of your childhood son."
"That's irrelevant, Dan."
"Not to me it isn't."
"Well let me ask you this Dan. What did you leave Lucas huh?"
"I left him my parent's house in Charlotte. I figured that he could sell it and buy another house here in Tree Hill."
"I tell you what; leave him the beach house too. I don't have any use for it." Nathan moved over to Cooper to pick up his young son. Jamie had already walked over there to Lucas. So he didn't have to worry about Dan being alone with his boys. Cooper and Lucas wouldn't let that happen just in case Dan was up to no good.
"Nathan" Dan started as he turned around and began walking over to the other men. "Please son. I want you and Lucas to hear me out. If I don't get a heart, I need to know that these things are taken care of. My last wish is to spend my last days with you two boys and my grandchildren. Please you boys wouldn't deny a dying man his last wish would you?"
"Dan, look," Nathan started and then looked to Cooper. Cooper took Jamie by the hand and moved out of hearing distance with Bri in his arms. When he was finally where Nathan believed that he could say what he wanted to without Jamie hearing it, he began again. "I am willing to allow you to see the boys as long as you it is on my terms but you're reading too much into this. My feelings haven't changed."
"And mine haven't either Dan" Lucas inserted.
"My family is the most important thing to me in my life."
"You're right son. Family is important. Our family is the most important thing."
"NO! My family and you're not part of it. Haley, Jamie, Bri, my two girls, Lucas, Cooper and Mom are my family. There is no room for you with me. The only reason that I brought the boys today was so you can't tell Jamie one day that when you were about to die, that I didn't keep him away from you. That's it Dan."
"So you're just going to make that decision without any thought."
"No Dan you made that decision for me the minute you pulled that trigger. Keith was good to you Dan. He would have loved you the same way he loved Lucas and even me if you had let him. You don't want love. You want people you can control. You always have and you always will. That will never change."
"Nathan please son."
"No, Just stop. Just stop it."
"Do you see now why I didn't want Haley here? Do you understand? I can never forgive you. You have to know that. Lucas is my greatest ali Dan, in spite of all your efforts to turn us against each other. You could have had that with Keith if you hadn't been an ass for most of your life, hell all of your life. But you didn't want it. If you come back into our lives now, it will only result in nothing good just like everything with you always has. Now if you want to spend time with your grandsons, fine, I'll call Cooper to come back over here with them, if not we're going home. I need to check on my wife anyway."
"Nathan, why are you doing this?"
"Because Dan, you're a murderer. I didn't come here today for us to bond, straighten this mess out or even to talk. If you want to spend time with Jamie and Bri then do it and hurry the hell up, but stop trying to win me over. It's not happening. We're not having this."
"Nathan I'm dying son. Please tell me that means something to you."
"It does Dan it really does." Dan smiled and moved to hug his son until Nathan spoke again. "It means that I am finally once and for all going to be completely free.
When Dan had spent about thirty minutes with the boys, Nathan stood up and told Jamie and Bri that they had to go. He started toward the Navigator and stopped when Dan called his name. "Nathan, can I see the boys again?"
"We'll see call me next week." Nathan told him.
When Nathan arrived home he saw Haley sitting on the couch with her legs crossed under her. A radiant smile plastered on her face. Brooke was telling her she wanted to go shopping to buy the girls dresses to have the pictures made in. "You know something really frilly and feminine" Brook mentioned.
Haley saw the look on Nathan's face and knew it hadn't gone well but she still had to ask. "Are you ok? How did it go?"
"He used seeing the boys as an excuse just like I knew he would. He took that opportunity to try and win me and Lucas over.
Cooper had walked over to sit on the arm of the couch behind Brooke. "Nathan had his number though. He totally called him on his shit. I was so proud of him. Haley, baby you gave him that strength. The strength he has to stand up to Dan and I love you for that baby girl."
"Daddy?"
"Yeah Jamie?"
"Should Uncle Cooper be calling your girl his?"
Nathan busted out laughing. "No Jamie you're right he sure shouldn't."
"Like father like son" Cooper smirked.
"More like Scott like Scott" Brooke added.
Both families were so engrossed in the conversation no one noticed the vehicle parked across the street from the gate to their driveway, or the person on the cell phone that was driving it.
"You have got to do better than that" he said.
"I paid you a lot of money. I expect you to finish this."
"There is no way in hell I am letting you off the hook. You can kill yourself and I'll just find someone else. This will happen. Do you understand? I won't accept anything less."
"I will not lose this battle. I've been working for the outcome for too damn long."
"Until it's finished, I can't move forward and that is just not an option. So you're running out of time." With the phone closed the group continued to be watched. "It will happen. No matter what, it will happen."
