Chapter 51

Sam had been meticulously writing everything that Maester Aemon spoke to him. He was in constant amazement of the knowledge and history that the old man had. He had been reading the same line over and over when he had a thought, he moved as quickly through the Maester's tower as he could. It seemed as if Maester Aemon had been expecting him," What is on your mind, Samwell?"

"Ghost grass, Maester Aemon. It glows in the dark. It's said that it will consume the world killing all other things. Are we sure that it means all other living things? What if there is a way to use it to help fight the White Walkers? What if it is used where no grass grows, here in the frozen North, on the ice and snow? What if it could be used to make a weapon such as a flail or a morning star or, or maybe even into a type of fencing. Maybe Gendry could embed some of the dragon glass into it to help stop the Wights and the White Walkers?"

His enthusiasm was cheering to the old Maester, " My dear, Samwell, you might have an idea. Talk to Commander Snow about this and if he approves, speak with Hector, I'm sure he can arrange for whatever it is you need." Sam left quickly to find Jon.

The ships had been leaving for weeks, sent out in groups of twenty to thirty, all on the way to Meereen. Final preparations were being made for everyone to leave. Tyrion was happily surprised when Sansa asked for a short meeting with him, none of them had had much time to spend together. He could clearly see how happy she was. He wasn't the least bit ashamed to take pride in her joy, she had lost so much, she deserved love and happiness.

She sat beside him on the couch in his solar, and leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. He knew his face reddened when he heard her laugh, " Thank you for that, My Lady, but to what do I owe that token of your affection?"

"Tyrion, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am and to thank you for everything you've done. You sheltered me and tried so hard to keep me from harm. You helped take me away from all the pain and sorrow, you protected me and then gave me a choice. You gave me what no one has ever given me, you let me live and love who I wanted. I will forever be grateful to you for allowing the annulment of our marriage and for your acceptance of my love for Bronn."

Tyrion looked at Sansa with keen, sparkling eyes," Sansa, you owe me nothing. It was my family that caused you to lose yours. I did what your father would have done in my place and what I know he would have done, had the tables been turned. Our marriage was the safest, easiest way to get you away from the pit of monsters in King's Landing. There were several involved in that, but I don't mind taking all the credit! I look at you as my younger sister, I care for you very much and though I may not be able to defend you with a sword as Bronn, Sandor or Jaime can, I do have a sharp mind, and I can out think all of those bloody Warriors combined!" This brought the expected laugh he had just realized he wanted to hear.

"Speaking of my dear brother, how have you and he been getting along? I know it hasn't been easy on you. I won't make excuses for him or try to sway your mind, I'm just curious."

Sansa looked at her hands a moment, clearly struggling with finding the words to say," I don't know, Tyrion. Part of me is disgusted by what he has done, especially with...well, any how, then I think about who we are backing in this war, how the Targaryen's married each other. I don't agree with it, I feel he should have had more control over his actions. If he had been more honorable, more I don't know. He just should not have allowed that to happen. She is a vile, spiteful, evil woman, how could anyone want someone like that? My brother would not have been harmed if he had controlled himself. But it's her fault also. I hate her, Tyrion. Please forgive me. Though he fought my Father and caused his injuries, he wasn't the one who passed judgement. Joffery and Cercei did that. He went to war with my brother because of what my Mother did to you. He was a prisoner in Robb's camp for a year and then what happened to him after his release, was horrible. He wasn't to blame for what happened to my mother and brother. Your father did that. He did save Tommen from all of them. Joffery and Lord Tywin are gone. They can't hurt anyone any longer. I've watched him, he seems so different than the man who came to Winterfell. He's kind, even. I know he loves Tommen and he smiles so genuinely when he's around the babies. I don't hate him, Tyrion, I'm just not sure."

Tyrion couldn't help but admire the open honesty in Sansa's words," My brother has been many things in his life, Sansa. He has carried many burdens, some of his own doing, some not. He has always been a disappointment to one person or another, but never to me. He was Knighted and taken into the King's Guard at such a young age. Father never failed to tell him how disappointed he was in his heir. Cercei, well, you know how she is. She manipulated Jaime's love and devotion to fit her needs. She has always hated me, so I was only the object of her scorn. You grew up in a home with a loving family. Caring parents with hugs and encouragement. Devotion, guidance, and a watchful eye. We Lannisters had my Lord Father. There was never a mother's love or lessons learned at her knee. The only female affection was from servants or Cercei. Jaime is a romantic at heart, though he may never admit it. He sought attention and affection in the only place he could find it. He has always just wanted so desperately to be loved. Our sweet sister used that to her advantage. Blind devotion can be a terrible thing. Again, I'm not trying to sway you. Just keep in mind that not all families are like the Starks. We were not allowed to question our father on anything. We had to follow orders and in men like Jaime and even Sandor, who have spent their lives following orders, they will act before they question. Now, I really must finish my work, we'll be leaving soon."

Jaime was standing beside the fence surrounding the training yard, taking a break from the current round of practice that was going on when he turned to see Sansa standing beside him. He felt his body tense, dreading what she had to say to him, he knew he deserved every word she would speak to him, but that didn't temper the shame he felt. Her voice was calm and pleasant," Ser Jaime, may I speak with you a moment?"

Jaime felt his chest tighten, he tried his best to sound calm but as soon as he heard the strain in his voice, he knew he had failed, desperately. " Of course, My Lady. Would you prefer a place more private?"

"No, here is fine." She turned her body to face him, " Ser Jaime, look at me."

Jaime closed his eyes for a moment, knowing he had to face her, he turned and before he could utter a word she said," I know about my brother. I know why you did it. What happened with my father wasn't entirely your fault, you didn't give the order to take his head, you son did. You didn't kill my mother and brother, your father did. I'm not sure how I feel about you, I understand some of the reasons behind some of your actions. No matter how hard I try, I can't understand how anyone could care for a woman like your sister. She is evil, cruel, adulterous, and the most disgusting woman I have ever met. Your son was the same. He shamed, humiliated and beat me every time Robb won a battle. Yet I've watched you with Tommen and Sandor's children, you are so calm and protective of them. How did Joffery come from you? How is it that sweet, loving Tommen came from the same parents as Joffery?"

Jaime was having a hard time finding his voice and an even harder time finding the words he owed her. He felt the shame and weakness that had been weighing on him for many years. How had he come to this? He was just a weak man, hiding behind all his charm and looks. He had only just begun to see how hollow his life had been. He had Brienne to thank for opening his eyes finally. He had no idea how to handle this situation, he usually ran from these sort of confrontations. " My Lady, I can't say that I have the proper words to speak to you, that won't seem shallow and useless, much like myself. I can't change what I have done. I can't give back to you what has been taken from you. Giving you excuses would be an insult to you and your honor as well as that of your family name."

She watched his eyes, sparkling with unshed tears, she saw open honesty as well as shame. He was different, so proud and bold yet humble and beaten. The Golden Lion clearly bowed in submission. She knew then that she didn't want him to be broken.

Tyrion's words ran through her mind as she watched Jaime struggle with what to say to her. No, we've all paid too high a price in this war, his debt was paid.

Jaime braced himself for the slap he knew was coming when he watched her raise her hand and was overcome with emotion when he felt her soft fingers touch his face. He couldn't stop himself from kneeling in front of her, he didn't know what it was, he just knew he had no right to tower over her. She placed her hands on either side of his face, tilting his head up to meet her gaze.

Her mercy and tenderness towards him was too much, he felt so unworthy to be looking into her trusting eyes. Her words to him, " I forgive you," broke what last threads over control he had and his tears began to fall. Sansa moved closer to him, cradling his head against her stomach, whispering soothing words that her mother had spoken to her as a child. He wrapped his arms around her waist, clinging to her as if she were the only thing keeping him alive and she couldn't stop her own tears as she felt him let go, his shoulders, so strong and powerful, were heaving as he openly wept.

What sort of man would he have been if some one had truly loved him? She could imagine him as noble and honorable as her father had been. She looked up as she stroked his hair and shoulders, she saw Bronn smiling at her, his eyes full of love and understanding. Tyrion, she was glad she had spoken to him, she could see how he clearly loved his brother as much as she did her own. Sandor and Shalene stood side by side, they would make it, she knew. Brienne looked down at her, the ever present scowl softening, and nodded in respect and approval. This was right. Too much hate and bitterness in the world to harbor any towards this broken man. There was still a war to fight, maybe forgiveness was the way to begin anew. Forgiveness; It was such a small word, but she had just found out how that small gesture could change so many lives.