Inspired by 10x09. Someone on Tumblr asked me to address AZ's miscarriage.


"I can't take another loss, Callie! I can't handle it. I can't I can't think about this right now. It's too hard. IT'S JUST TOO HARD!"

"Wh what are you saying? Now you don't want another baby? ANSWER ME!"

"I don't know."

"I have to go check on my patient."

After Callie talked to Travis, she hurriedly got dressed and headed home. Even as she shoved her keys through the door, she was wiping away the tears in her eyes.

It had been a tough day. Arizona had a miscarriage, she seemed not to want to try again, and Callie had failed her patient. It was all too hard. Callie was scared with what she'd be met with once she walked through the door.

Arizona was sitting on the couch with only the soft light of the small lamp illuminating her skin. She looked up as Callie stumbled through the door. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," Callie tried to smile back. She shrugged off her leather jacket as she headed towards the couch to sit beside Arizona. "How are you?" she asked gently.

Arizona shrugged.

Callie released a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you today. You shouldn't have been alone for the procedure." She reached out, placing a warm hand over Arizona's back.

Arizona's lip quivered. "It's...fine," she whimpered. She closed her eyes and tried to grab a hold of her emotions. She put her hand on Callie's thigh. "How are you?"

Callie haphazardly swallowed her sob as she nodded, trying so hard to let Arizona she was okay, even if she wasn't.

"Callie..." Arizona breathed, pulling the bigger woman closer and wrapping her arms around her back.

Callie sobbed uncontrollably against Arizona's chest, and Arizona felt her tears fall down her face and into Callie's raven hair. "Did something happen with your patient?" she questioned.

Callie just nodded against Arizona's skin.

"I'm sorry," Arizona whispered. And she was. Not only for her wife's patient but also for feeling like she couldn't try again. She wanted a baby. She did. But, what if she lost it again? She couldn't take another loss.

Eventually, Callie pulled away. "Are we going to talk about what you said earlier?"

Arizona stiffened. She couldn't talk about it. Not today. She didn't want to let Callie down.

But it was too hard. All of it. One more loss...she wouldn't survive.

Arizona sighed and shrugged helplessly. "I want another baby, I do. But I don't know if I want to try again. Callie, it was awful today."

Callie tucked a blonde lock behind Arizona's ear. She felt awful. First, she'd failed her wife when she forgot about their appointment with the obstetrician. Then, she'd failed her patient when she had to make the call to amputate his legs.

Just like she had failed Arizona when she had made the call to amputate her leg.

And that was the reason they were in this position, with Arizona feeling like she was unable to handle another loss.

It always came back to the leg.

Callie sighed heavily. "We don't have to talk about it tonight, okay?" She rubbed Arizona's shoulder soothingly.

Arizona let out a sigh of relief. "Okay," she whispered unsteadily, her voice trembling.

"So, what do you want to do?" Callie asked warily. "What do you need?" She'd never experienced a miscarriage herself, but she'd seen the toll it had taken on mothers. It was taking a toll on her, and the baby hadn't even been in her body.

Arizona just shrugged. Words defeated her. She didn't know how to vocalize how empty she felt. "I don't know."

Callie pulled her into her arms.


Sorry if this one's kinda dull. I figured I'd post it anyway.

As always, reviews are much appreciated! Constructive criticism is better than no feedback at all, and compliments are best! Thank you for reading. :)