"What are you doing?" A bewildered gasp escaped Meredith's lungs, followed by an invigorating sense of relief waving through her every limb as she gratefully acknowledged that it was just Amelia.
The relief didn't last long, though, as Meredith soon was overwhelmed with perplexity, noting that Amelia was supposed to be at the house, helping prepare Bailey's birthday party. Why on Earth was she sitting behind Derek's desk? Moreover, Amelia wasn't even supposed to be at Grey Sloan Memorial, since she was supposed to be taking it easy for the remainder of her pregnancy. Meredith eyed Amelia's distended, swollen belly, where her sister-in-law's hands nonchalantly rested atop.
Amelia exhaled sharply. Then, dodging the question, she said, "I need to ask your opinion on something. I thought about talking to Derek. Well, I'm going to have to eventually, but I wanted to run it by you first. You know, just to hear your opinion. You're married to my brother, and you've spent far more time with him in recent years, so you know how he'll react better than I do-"
"What are you talking about?" Meredith cut off Amelia's ramble, stepping into the room while trying to comprehend Amelia's present motive. Something was off, and Meredith wasn't a blind fool. She immediately suspected that Derek and Amelia were up to no good, and Amelia had been sent to Derek's office to distract Meredith from coming home. Meredith wondered if everything really was good as Derek had claimed. Surely, something was wrong. That was why Amelia was here. Derek had sent Meredith to his office knowing that Amelia would be there waiting to distract her.
The manila envelope, Meredith thought, recalling the mission Derek had sent her on. She had begun to wonder if the envelope even existed, or if Derek had made it up as a decoy. Meredith's eyes scoped the desk, where Derek had insisted such an envelope would lie.
Sure enough, Meredith's eyes made contact with a manila envelope laying on the wooden desk directly in front of her sister-in-law. It was laying prongs up. Amelia appeared to notice Meredith's eyes wandering, because she took her hands off her belly and leaned forward, covering the envelope with her arms as she stretched out her arms over the desk, grunting. Meredith suspiciously lifted an eyebrow.
Amelia groaned and shook her head. "It's...it's Owen," she sighed.
"Okay," Meredith responded slowly. "What did Owen do now?" Amelia and Owen's relationship had been seemingly drama-free in recent weeks. Amelia had moved into Owen's trailer, so Meredith and Derek didn't see much of them. Cristina had backed down and appeared to finally be accepting that Owen was moving on. Meredith wasn't sure if Amelia and Cristina would ever be friends, nor did she expect them to be, but she was glad that her best friend had stopped throwing insults towards her sister-in-law.
"He wants to build us a house," blurted Amelia.
A chuckle escaped Meredith's lips, recalling her own reaction to the first time Derek had brought up building a house.
"It's not funny!" Amelia insisted. "It's too soon, right? I've only known him for, what, six weeks? Oh, God. Nancy and Kate are right. I moved on way too fast. I must be insane. James is barely in his coffin, and I'm already living with another guy. It's not right. It's too soon."
"Hm, well, you do have a point," Meredith shrugged. "It is pretty soon."
Amelia's head fell into her hands. Meredith realized she was crying. "I'm so stupid," Amelia sobbed. "What is wrong with me? I keep telling lie after lie, and digging myself in bigger holes. I just wanted my baby to have a good life. That's why I came here. I thought you and Derek could give him a life that I couldn't. Owen was not in the plans, and now I'm screwed."
"Amelia, slow down," Meredith cut in. "What lies?"
I've told so many lies, something she'd heard Amelia tell Owen a few weeks ago when Amelia was in the hospital replayed in Meredith's head.
"I can't…" Amelia sobbed; Meredith moved closer to her sister-in-law. "I-I see you and Derek. I see you and your two beautiful children, and I want that. I want that more than you know. I'm envious. I see the way Derek looks at you. I've never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you, and I want that so much. I want someone to look at me like Derek looks at you for the rest of my life. You two love each other so much, and everyone can tell that. And...I might love Owen. But I'm scared to love him. It's too soon...it's too soon…after James...too soon…" Her cries jumbled her words, making her difficult to understand. Amelia's tears soaked into the manila envelope. "Oh crap, and now I'm ruining this, too." She pushed the envelope away, to prevent any more tears from dropping on it.
"Derek told me to get that envelope," Meredith said, inquisitively raising an eyebrow as she looked at Amelia. "You know what's in it."
"I-I don't know anything," Amelia insisted. "Nothing. No thing." Amelia reminded Meredith of herself so much in that moment.
Meredith exhaled. "You know, I was scared to love Derek, too. Terrified, actually. I remember when he showed me his dream house outline the first time. I freaked. Completely. We broke up after that."
"You broke up because he showed you house plans?" Amelia wiped the tears from her cheek.
"He wanted someone to build a life and family with. I wasn't ready for that at the time," Meredith answered honestly, gulping as she rehashed those old memories. They weren't her fondest memories. She had convinced herself that Derek didn't want her per se, he'd wanted anyone who would give him the things he wanted. He'd wanted to settle down, and she just hadn't been ready at the time. Oh, how we've grown, she thought, swallowing.
"Derek didn't really tell us much about you," Amelia confessed. "Then again, I also lost touch with my family. I wasn't in communication with any of my sisters. Derek and I barely spoke after he moved to Seattle. Even Addison, who was my best friend when she was on the East Coast, lost touch with me when she moved to Seattle. I went off and did my own thing, finished my residency at Johns Hopkins and started my fellowship. All I wanted was to get my life on track. I thought that if I could do that, it would make up for all the mistakes I'd made, but oh was I wrong."
"What do you mean?" Meredith asked.
"I threw it all away when I relapsed, and I keep screwing up. How do you do it? Stop screwing up? How do you move forward? I keep trying and trying to move forward, but it seems like every step I take forward, I end up taking two steps back," Amelia groaned; her eyes were bloodshot with tears.
"I think that's life," Meredith answered. "You're never gonna stop making mistakes, and you're never gonna stop being scared. Believe me, I've made my fair share of mistakes, and I'm terrified of making more. You don't think I question if taking this fellowship was a mistake? It's added stress on top of my already hectic life. General surgery was the easy route, or so I thought so. It allowed me to log less hours, even though I was miserable. It allowed me to spend more time with my children and avoid conflict with Derek at work. It was an easy out. I wasn't happy, but I was able to avoid fear. Changing specialties is probably the scariest thing I've done in a long time, plus taking on another child. Do you think any of that is easy? Do you think that's not scary? Because it is. It's absolutely terrifying."
"Yeah, but you have Derek supporting you every step of the way. He'll never leave your side, and God, I see the way he looks at you. I've never seen him look like he looks at you at anyone before, and I think: I want that. I want what you and Derek have. You two love each other so much, and I think...Owen and I could have that. But then I think...am I truly worthy of him? He's been through so much trauma, and he deserves great. He deserves amazing. He deserves wonderful. I'm none of those things."
Meredith exhaled through her nose. "Amelia, do you think for a second that I've thought I was worthy of Derek? Not a chance. Still to this day, I question whether or not I'm worthy of him. But does any of that matter? All that matters is he loves you and you love him. If you love him, then don't let him go. Don't be stupid. Don't lose Owen like I almost lost Derek."
Amelia bit her lip and swallowed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. They locked eyes and Amelia nodded. "T-Thanks." She swallowed again. "So, do you really think Derek would be okay with selling some of his land to Owen and I?"
"Mommy!" a little girl's squeal interrupted before Meredith could react to Amelia's bombshell of a question. Amelia's question completely vanished from Meredith's mind as she turned around and saw her three-year-old daughter running toward her. Behind her, Blake walked slowly.
"Zozo!" Meredith gasped in shock. "What are you and Blake doing here?" She bent down and swept her daughter into her arms.
"We comes lookin' for you!" Zola announced.
"Tell me you're not - " By yourself, Meredith's jaw dropped as Derek soon entered the room shortly thereafter with their handsome birthday boy in his arms. The little boy's bright blue eyes lit up when he saw his mother.
"Mama!" Bailey babbled, reaching for his mother. Meredith set Zola down, who ran over to her Aunt Amelia as Meredith gaped in awe at her son as she took him from his father's arms.
"What's going on?" Meredith demanded, a frightening panic chilled in her bones. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you all back at the house? Is everything okay? Tell me the house didn't burn down or something…"
"Meredith, relax," Derek's face lit up with a smile; a twinkle in his eye glimmered as his gaze aimed directly at his wife and son.
"Can we showed Mommy the surprises now, Daddy?" Zola asked anxiously, her brown orbs glowed with excitement.
"Shhhhhh," Blake placed his finger over his lips. "You nots sposta say anything, Zo. It's a secret, remember?"
Zola clasped her tiny hands over her mouth. "Oopsie! I'm sowwy, Daddy! I a bad girl." Genuine remorse plagued the little girl's face. Meredith turned to her husband.
"It's okay, Zola. I think it's time to show Mommy the surprise," Derek smiled cheerfully at the little girl.
Meredith rose her eyebrows. "Surprise, Derek? You know how I hate surprises." Meredith smirked nervously, wondering what Derek could possibly have hidden up his sleeve now.
"Well," Amelia exhaled. "I think my job is done. I'm out of here. Plus, I don't need another reminder of how pathetic my life is. I'll see you all at the party." Amelia stood up and started wobbling toward the door.
"Hold your little pregnant a-butt up," Meredith said, managing to stop herself from saying the word ass in front of the children. "You knew about this, whatever it is, and I had to listen to your little sob story, which was clearly just meant as a distraction. You're staying."
"Really, I'm not needed, and I think it's best if you have this moment to yourselves...trust me, you'll like it. You're a fool if you don't," Amelia shrugged. Meredith froze as Amelia continued toward the door. Before she could leave, Derek grabbed his sister's shoulder and whispered something in her ear that was inaudible to Meredith.
"Okay, okay, enough with the secrets," Meredith pleaded. "I hate surprises, so just tell me already." Derek pulled away from Amelia's ear, and she nodded then left, leaving Meredith with Derek and the three children. Blake and Zola both hopped into Derek's chair. Zola's grabbed the manila envelope on the desk.
"Zola, it's time. Give Mommy the envelope," Derek told his daughter. He took the baby from Meredith's arms as Zola gallantly held the envelope and raced to her mother.
"Here you go, Mommy!" Zola announced, handing the envelope over to her mother. Meredith immediately took note the thickness of the paper envelope, as if a book of sort could be inside.
"Derek, what is it?" she asked, eying her husband, swallowing as she traced the envelope's folds with her fingers, her heart pounding fiercely against her chest.
"Open it," Derek smiled warmly, and she slid her fingertips under the folds and tore it open. A hardcover book fell into her hands. The cover design instantly caught her eyes along with the title:
This is What Dreams are Made Of:
Our Forever
Meredith's heart filled with joy, swallowing as she studied the cover photo: A black and white picture of her and Derek faded in the background, taken not long after they'd started dating the first time around. Her fingers meticulously, very carefully, meddled between the cover and the first page as she opened it.
She couldn't not grin when she saw the first page, a replicated version of the blue post-it note that she and Derek had signed, which felt like forever ago.
Love each other when we hate each other.
No running.
Take care of each other when old, senile, and smelly.
This is forever.
"Derek," she whispered, tears lingering her eyes as she carefully flipped through the pages of the picture book, reviewing her life's tale of life, love, and family. The first picture in the book being a photo of her holding Zola on the first day she'd met her, the day that Derek had paged her into the room to tell her that he thought they should adopt her.
Next, there were several photos of the day and days that followed when they'd gotten her back after losing her. They all looked so happy, so cheery. Flash forward through months of Zola's baby photos, she landed on a timeline of pregnancy photos. Derek had included photos of each pregnancy stage, the first coming from the day she'd told him that she was pregnant. A photograph of Zola's little pink "World's Best Big Sister" T-shirt had been included. Derek labeled the stages, including ultrasound pictures, and a photo of Zola with her hand on Mommy's belly.
"Where?" she gasped. "Where did you get all these?" Teardrops stung her eyes.
"We take a lot of pictures on our phones, Meredith," Derek chuckled. "And I may have taken a bunch off your iPad. Remember when you found those pictures on my iPad?" She couldn't forget. And Derek hadn't even known the password to her iPad. She remembered giving it to him when she confronted him about the nude photos on his iPad. He must have taken the photos from her iPad after that. Derek laughed, "If you look at your outbox, you'll notice I sent a lot of photos to my email address."
"Don't you like it, Mommy?" Zola innocently asked. "You crwying."
"I love it, Zola," Meredith responded, swallowing the wad of spit that had accumulated in her throat from the tears. "These are happy tears, baby girl." A tear dropped from her eyelid onto the paper. "And crap, crap, crap! I'm going to ruin the book with my happy tears." She carefully set the book on the desk. Derek grabbed a tissue to dry the page. He then handed her a tissue so she could dry her eyes, which she did.
"Me and Daddy made it!" Zola announced.
"Did you?" Meredith smiled.
"It was intended as a Mother's Day gift, but I thought giving it to you today would be just as good, if not better," Derek explained. "Plus, it didn't arrive until this morning. Couldn't have had better timing."
She leaned into her husband to give him a soft, wet peck on the lips.
"Ewwww," Zola and Blake both sounded. Bailey was too young to respond to his parents kissing with him being in his mother's arms.
"Bailey won't remember this day, Meredith, but you and I will. And it's even more important to you than it is me. In fact, it's more important to you than it is anyone in the world. Today's the day, one year ago, you showed us that anything is possible. We'd been kicked down so many times, and we thought all hope was lost, and then our miracle baby came into our lives." Derek gently touched Bailey's blond head. "You, Meredith, never cease to amaze me, and I feel like the luckiest guy alive when I look at our son's face and see you."
She was now crying full-fledged tears.
"You still cwyin' happy tears, Momma?" Zola asked worriedly.
"Yes, baby," Meredith assured her daughter, setting Bailey in between Blake and Zola in Derek's chair. "All happy tears." She grinned, revealing her teeth to show Zola that she truly was happy, because she was. Happy. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy.
Perhaps it was the day Bailey was born. One year ago.
"Oh, 'cause you didn't look at the whole book," Zola observed, taking the book into her own hands. "You gots to see the end." She began flipping through the book with her own tiny hands with Meredith and Derek both standing over her as she did. Meredith watched as a year flipped away before her eyes, pictures of both Zola and Bailey filled the pages. Finally, Zola landed on the last page, revealing a photo of Blake and Bailey; Zola and Blake; and lastly, Zola, Blake, and Bailey.
"The reason I didn't get the book until today," Derek smiled.
"Blake's family too," Zola explained, wrapping her arms around both Blake and Bailey. "I love my bwothers."
The cuteness wasn't helping with Meredith's mass of tears. She'd turned weepy and sappy. What had happened to her? She was happy that Cristina wasn't here to see her like this, because she wasn't in the mood to hear sarcastic comments. To think she'd tried to get Amelia to stay. She'd never been so grateful to share a moment with her children and husband alone.
She wrapped her arm around Derek and kissed his cheek. "I love our family, too," she grinned, wiping her tears away.
"We're truly lucky," Derek nodded, embracing her in his arms. "Now," he paused, grinning widely. "Are you ready to go to Bailey's party?"
She'd almost missed the very last page in the book, which read:
To be continued...
A/N: This chapter is short, but I just had to post it the way it is. It's about as fluffy as I go as a person who doesn't write much fluff. This idea came to me, and I couldn't let it pass me by. So, I hope you enjoyed it. We can get back to the drama next chapter, because no birthday party with the Shepherd-Grey family can survive drama-free.
Speaking of birthday parties, check out the fanfic CileSuns92 and I are co-writing called "A Storm is Going to Come." You can find it on her account. We're balancing my love for angst and her love for fluff into one big fanfic (and maybe her love for fluff is rubbing off on me a little. I don't know. What do you guys think of this chapter?) Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and you'll check out "A Storm is Going to Come" if you haven't already.
