A/N: Ok, so I put an alarm on my phone so I remember to update. Should have done that earlier... Oops. Also, still don't own Zelda. Aaaaaand that's it.
grovyleTheGreat- 4th wall alert again.
Melkor'sOnlyLeautenant- This game has a much less serious Zelda than some other games (*coughcoughtwilightprincesscoughcough*), and I love her like that.
"Oh noes. We've been found out." Zelda pointed out.
"I can tell because of all the super loud sirens and red light that are everywhere. Anyways, I'll guard you."
"That's sad. I wanted to use my fai-ya sword, but that won't happen because I'm carrying an electric key."
Link went forward, Zelda following, and ran into A LARGE PURPLE CRAWLING HAND THAT ATTACKED THEM AND SCARED THE WITS OUT OF EVERYONE.
"AUGH!" Link shouted as he immediately stabbed the hand several times, until it died. They continued UNTILL THE HAND POPPED OUT OF A SHADOW IN THE GROUND AND ATTACKED AGAIN!
"OH MY GOSH" Zelda screamed as Link killed the hand again. Luckily, they made it to the door and put the key in. All the hands disappeared. The lights stayed though. Link and Zelda recovered and went upstairs.
Upstairs was one room, which somehow was smaller that the other floors despite it being a tower... Anyways, it had four bottomless pits that left the floor liking like the four side if a die. When the two entered, the door locked. Not that they cared anymore, they were used to it by now. Also, a red Geozard dropped from the ceiling.
"Hey guys." Said the red guy.
"You're not a Geozard." Zelda said. "You'd be yelling at us if you were a Geozard."
"True. I'm a Captain Geozard, triple emphasis not necessary (oops). I got selected because I was actually logical."
"Good for you!" Link said, applauding.
"Thanks! Anyways, it's my job to kill you. Sorry."
"It's ok! Anyways, Link, let's do what we did with the other Geozards, kay?"
"Sounds cool." Link was about to run behind the Captain, but when Zelda attacked the Captain, his shield got set on fire!
"OH NOES." yelled the Captain.
"Oh yeah, my sword's on fire." Zelda remembered.
"Ok, WHAT the heck. I TOLD Cole that a rawhide shield was a horrible, horrible idea, but nooooooooooo way Jose, it HAD to be rawhide so we could paint it with cool colors."
"That is kinda stupid..." Link commented as the shield burned to a crisp.
"At least you have your sword." Zelda said.
"Good point." Captain said. He swung at Zelda, who parried at a perpendicular angle. Then Captain's sword snapped in half.
"..." Zelda was at a loss for words.
"But it looked so shiny and good..." Link said.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHH. The sword is made of diamond, and despite what Minecraft has you believe, diamond can easily be cut if hit at a perpendicular angle, making it a HORRIBLE sword, but NOOOOOOO, it HAD to be shiny."
"This job sounds like it sucks." Zelda said.
"You know what?" Captain said. "I quit. Good luck with saving the world. Here's an ancient gold piece as thanks for helping me." Then he waved good-bye, unlocked the room, and left.
Link smiled, the shrugged, and the two went up to the twelve floor.
It was the map floor! Link's sword stopped being shiny and Zelda popped out of the phantom. Link grabbed the map and teleported back to Anjean.
"Good job guys. The Ocean Realm is next. Carben lives there. Avoid him at all costs."
"But don't we have to play a duet with him?"
"Ah, yes. Then run away after the duet. You get to the Summer Vacation Realm from the Forest Realm. You should honestly just go. There's a rabbit on the way. There's nothing else to do really. Good luck!"
"You sound tired."
"I AM."
"Sleep a bit! Bye!"
The ride was uneventful. Until, at least, the bridge turned out to be broken. Oh, and there was a bunny over the hill. It was hard to see, but Link got it. Now, back to the broken bridge.
"OH NOES HIT THE BRAKES!" Zelda screamed. Link managed to stop at a station near the bridge. There was one house there.
"Gosh, that bridge looks like a complete mess." Link said.
"Yeah. Let's go see who lives at the house."
At the house, no one was there.
"Oh no. Let's just leave." Link said.
"Nonononono. There's no music. Take a step forward."
"What will that do?"
"Just go."
Link took half a step forward.
"WELL, WELL, WELL. What do we have here?"
This random guy wearing a blue trench coat, a red bow tie, a fedora, a mustache and goatee, weird eyebrows, and a theme song, walked up to the other side of a counter. No one recognized this man, not even the readers, because he obviously isn't another Zelda game character's relative or anything like that.
"What do you want, you Rupeeless ragamuffin?"
"Well, actually I have 500 or so rupees, but with inflation that's not very much..."
"This is no place for the likes of you!"
"..."
"Shoo! Shoo already! Get out of here!"
"I just took a half step forward, jeez! Who even are you?"
"Listen well, and remember my name, squirt!"
"I'm not that short!"
"I'm Linebeck III, president of Linebeck Trading. And the only employee. I hunt down the rarest antiques from around the world, then I sell them to the highest bidder!"
"Cool job."
"JUST COOL?! Urchins like you prove that the youth of today are just clueless."
"We buy all our jewels from him on my request... He's a money pincher but he has good stuff... " Muttered Zelda.
"I've got work to do and you're in my way! Go find someplace else to loaf!"
"If I say you're fabulous will you listen to me?" Link asked.
"I AM pretty spectacular. You know, you posses a certain charm, squirt." Link sighed. "But you don't look like you have treasure to sell."
"The bridge is out."
"It is? Well that's a sticky situation, isn't it?"
"Yup."
"The bridge is a sad mess. The storms really did a number on it. If only there was a bridge worker really dedicated to bridges living somewhere in the country. Perhaps somewhere where the Spirit Tracks had been restored. I can't do anything until the Spirit Tracks are restored. If that bridge guy existed..."
Link exited the house. "OH NOES, we have no bridge worker."
Zelda gaped at him. "Did you forget?"
"What?"
"Chapter 46, and I quote: 'If ya need any help with that, I build bridges. I'm your guy for bridges. Bridges are my jam. My life rotates around bridges. I build bridges for a living. I'm making a bridge right now. Bridges are the best. Don't you love bridges? Because I do. My first date was with a bridge.'"
"...Not ringing a bell."
"Get in the train Link."
