A/N: Okay, so the flow of this chapter is very strange. There is a flashback into the past but it is not clearly marked. It is written as part of the thought process. I hope it's not too confusing.
Awakening
Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh. Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.
The sounds that surrounded him were rhythmic, repeating over and over again at predictable intervals and even though his heart was filled with anxiety, they were soothing. They existed. He was here; alive; surrounded by white walls and antiseptic scents and he still couldn't believe it.
Beep. Beep…
His head hurt. Waves of pain coursed through it in time with his heartbeat but he welcomed the pain. He welcomed the steady beat, the course fabric against his skin and the soft brush of his fingertips as he absently traced the bandage doctors had wrapped around his head because it meant he was still here, still breathing and still very much alive.
Beep…
He'd won.
Beep. Whoosh.
He'd escaped amber flames, molten metal, acrid smoke and exploding shards and all of this after running headlong into danger, not once but twice. He didn't die in the showcase fire. He was still alive, still breathing, still capable of feeling but strangely enough he was empty inside. He'd finally managed to turn things around, to change his timeline enough to survive the ravenous conflagration but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to wipe clean the shadows of everything he'd already lived through or the nightmares that continued to reside in his memories.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.
He hadn't expected to survive. The moment that beam fell across their path he'd been convinced they were done for. He couldn't do it. He couldn't fight against fate anymore and all he'd wanted was for everything to just… end. For his last chance to fade away and for his mind to finally find peace in oblivion but Tadashi had had other ideas.
Like hell we're dying here…
Tadashi's words had echoed through his mind, filled with conviction and determination. Hiro could relate to the sentiment. He understood it, knew it on an intimate level, had blindly relied on it time and time again in his own fight to change things but sometimes mere words and conviction were not enough…
We just have to look for another angle!
He'd tried that. He'd tried it over and over again. His belief in that simple statement was often the only thing that kept him going in the face of repeated overwhelming failure. He'd clung blindly to the belief that all his problems could be solved simply by changing his perspective but had been forced to realise that life was not that simple. Some problems could not be solved so easily. Not without paying a price.
He'd won. He'd finally won but couldn't shake the feeling that in doing so had still managed to lose.
He'd escaped the burning inferno and managed to come out the other side still alive. That simple act was an achievement in itself and he should probably be experiencing a sense of pride only… only none of it had been a result of his own efforts. He was alive, breathing and still capable of living but it was his brother that had gotten him here.
Tadashi would have been a better hero than me.
Tadashi.
If not for Tadashi, they would both be dead, mere ash and memory in space and time. He'd given up. For the first time since starting his journey into the past, he'd actually given up, his heart and mind tired of reliving his failure, the agony of death and the seeming inevitability of it all. He'd been ready to just throw in the towel and let destiny take its course but Tadashi had had other ideas.
Like hell we're dying here!
Tadashi refused to die, refused to give up and with those words had taken charge of the situation, slipping into the role of protector as easily as breathing. He'd grabbed Hiro's wrist and pulled him away from the burning beam and the exit it had obstructed. He then proceeded to ignore all common sense and convention, avoiding the obvious exit points in favour of finding an alternate route out, in favour of finding another angle. It had been a gamble, a dangerous act of desperation that took them further into the raging inferno before leading them back out and it had come at a cost.
The raging inferno had not made way for them, greedily reaching for them even as they fought to escape its grasp. Flickers of flames had danced upon their skin, acrid smoke had reached in to steal their breath and debris... debris had rained all around. One of the pieces hit him on the head, opening up a gash in his forehead as it tumbled to the ground. Hiro did not cry out in reaction to it. He'd swallowed the cry of pain not wanting Tadashi to know. Tadashi was intensely focused on getting them out and Hiro had not wanted to break his concentration.
Warm blood trickled into his eyes but he simply used his free hand to wipe it away. He didn't even break stride, the fear of time running out urging him ever forward. He couldn't help it, the hope that had begun to course through him the moment Tadashi took charge because that was the way things were always meant to be. Tadashi was here, fulfilling his role as Hiro's big brother, his protector and his lifeline.
They were going to get out. Hiro was sure of it. Tadashi was going to get them out and his family would finally be complete again. Him, Aunt Cass and… and Tadashi. Only, Hiro already knew life was not that simple. Hope was not enough to change fate and the reality of that hit him with the force of a sledgehammer when they stumbled to a halt once more, only to realise they were still trapped, the fury of death behind them and the sheer cold wall of despair before them.
Hiro.
Tadashi reached down to squeeze his hand, his grip desperately tight.
I'm so…
Sorry. Tadashi had meant to tell him he was sorry only he never got the chance. His words were drowned out by the sound of the wall cracking. Bright green light flared into the space and it took Hiro only a moment to realise that help was finally on the way. Wasabi sliced the wall apart, large chunks of cement tumbling down only to turn bright pink in reaction to the chemicals Honey Lemon tossed into the air. The pink blocks connected to the ground and disintegrated, large chunks of rock vanishing in an instant as pink powder filled the air. The powder swirled into the building, rushing in to join the smoke and flames and only added to the chaos that surrounded them.
"Super jump!" That… that was Fred, leaping impulsively into the fray, excitement and glee colouring his tone. He tumbled down from the sky and landed gracefully at Hiro's side, strategically placing himself between Hiro and the flames that were mere seconds away from setting Hiro's hair alight. The flames surged away, the special chemicals in Fred's armour repelling them, finally granting Hiro much needed relief. He was safe. His team had his back and things were finally going right only… only life was not that simple.
Hiro stumbled, fighting to catch his balance when the ground unexpectedly shifted beneath his feet. The expected shift triggered a myriad of warning bells in his head. He glanced back at the inferno he was so desperately trying to escape and scanned what remained of the building's interior only to catch his breath in horror. One of the large pillars that formed part of the buildings key construction had finally given way and was tumbling to the ground, throwing ash and dust up into the air and beneath it… beneath it lay a large box of lithium-ion batteries that had been used to power several of the larger experiments.
Time had finally run out.
A large sheet of ice rose up from the ground, obstructing his view just as the pillar landed only to shatter apart just a few split seconds later, torn apart by the force of the ensuing explosion. A force of heated air rushed straight towards them, sweeping them off their feet with ridiculous ease before throwing them all out of the building. He was weightless, helpless against a force he couldn't even see. His breath caught in his throat, his brain froze and his stomach fought its way into his throat only to jar to a halt when he tumbled back down, his body connecting with the hard unforgiving ground.
"Tadashi!"
He twisted on the ground, eyes desperately seeking, searching, looking for any sign of his brother. The explosion had separated them, mercilessly tearing their hands apart, filling Hiro's heart with fear and dread.
"Tadashi!"
He had to find him. His brother had to be here! He had to be alive. Hiro had fought too long and hard to fail… again.
"Tadashi! Where the hell are you?!" He screamed, despair and anguish pooling into his soul.
"It's okay." Soft hands reached out to wipe the blood out of his eyes, the gentle lilt in Honey Lemon's tone reaching out to soothe his ravaged mind. "Hiro, it's okay." She brushed his hair off his forehead. "He's here. Tadashi is right here. He's still alive. Wasabi is taking care of him. Just breathe, okay?" She ran her hands through his hair before reaching forward to brush blood out of his eyes once more. "Just breathe and let me take care of you. The paramedics are on their way."
Tadashi is here.
Hiro had finally won. Take that fate!
Wait…
Paramedics?
Oh no.
The realisation that paramedics were on their way suddenly sunk in, his mind finally catching up with the implications of what Honey Lemon was telling him. Tadashi was hurt and was probably going to need medical attention. It made sense. I mean, there was no way he'd be able to escape an inferno like that unscathed. Ensuring that he received proper treatment sooner rather than later was a good thing but Tadashi was not the only one likely to be targeted by well-meaning medical staff members.
"I've… I've got to go." Hiro pushed Honey Lemon's hands away in sudden panic. The moment his hands were free he pushed down against the ground in a bid to stand only to have his body betray him. He couldn't do it. He physically was incapable of gathering enough energy to stand. "No." He slammed his hands down in sudden frustration. "No, no, no, no, no!" Tears poured down his face.
"Hiro…"
"I can't stay here."
"Hiro…" Honey Lemon grabbed hold of his hands.
"They can't find me." He fought to free his hands from her grasp. "Not like this. Not in my hero suit. No one can know who we are."
"It's okay." Honey Lemon squeezed his hands before released them. "It's okay, Hiro." She reached down to unclip his armour. "I've got you. I'll make sure they don't find your armour." And gently removed it. Piece by piece, revealing the sweat soaked T-shirt and shorts that he wore beneath it. She carefully hid each piece beneath a bush before reaching out to once again wipe blood off his face and hair off his forehead. "I've got you, okay?"
"Okay." Hiro replied before tumbling into her lap, his eyes finally drifting closed.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.
Familiar, the rhythmic sounds were just so very familiar, beeping in time with the rhythm of his heart and the steady flow of his breath, their very existence proof that, despite his failures, he was still very much alive.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh. Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh. Beep. Beep. Beep. Whoosh.
"Stop it."
Hiro blinked in confusion, amber eyes opening to scan the empty white space that surrounded him.
"Stop blaming yourself." Tadashi's hoarse voice drew his attention to the bed, his brother's deep brown gaze trapping Hiro's amber one, the light in it confirming that his brother was finally awake. That was a good thing. His ability to read Hiro's mind so soon after waking up, however, was not.
Hiro lifted his head off of Tadashi's bed where he'd been resting it and leaned back in the chair he was slumped in. "Blaming myself? For what?" He queried, his voice every bit as hoarse as Tadashi's as he casually attempted to pretend that he had no idea what Tadashi was referring to. They both knew he was lying through his teeth. Even though Hiro had managed to live several years without him, his brother still knew him… better than he would like.
"The fire." Tadashi rasped, "And this." He continued, weakly lifting one of his hands in order to use it to indicate himself.
Hiro scowled. The action caused his headache to flare up but he ignored the pain. "Why would I blame myself for…"
"Hiro." Tadashi cut him off.
Hiro dropped the pretence and hung his head, attempting to hide the tears gathering in his eyes. "I tried you know." He whispered hoarsely, reaching down to rub absently at his still aching chest. "I really tried to keep you away."
"Keep me away?"
"From the showcase." Hiro expanded, a cough forcing him to pause before continuing. "And the fire."
"The seminar." Tadashi breathed. "It was you."
Hiro glanced up, trailing his eyes over his brother. Tadashi was lying in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around his hands, fingers and forearms. A NIV Face mask was attached to his face, moving clean air into damaged lungs, an IV drip was inserted beneath the bandages on his right arm and a heart monitor was clipped onto the index finger of his right hand. It was a familiar sight and similar to the situation he had found himself in when he had first come to. "And Fred." Hiro admitted. "His parents organised the event and I... cough, cough, cough…" He rubbed his throat trying to soothe the dry ache as he fought to regain his breath, "I drew up all the invitations."
"I should have known." Tadashi sighed, a flicker of concern creeping into his eyes.
"I didn't mean to lie to you." Hiro bit his lip, a flicker of guilt coursing through him. "If… cough… if it helps, Professor Savioke was really interested in meeting you." Hiro paused reaching for the glass of water beside Tadashi's bed. He took a big sip, attempting to soothe the pain in his throat before continuing, "Especially after I told him what you're working on."
"Hiro…" The concern in Tadashi's tone gave away what he was about to ask.
"I'm fine." Hiro reassured him, placing the glass back down with a dull thud before sinking down into the chair, using the action to hide the dizzy spell that was beginning to course through him. "I'm just worried about you."
Tadashi frowned. "How?" He asked, smoothly changing the topic in order to give Hiro the space he clearly needed.
"Well, first we had to think of something you would be willing to attend." Hiro replied, pausing clear his throat and take another sip of water before continuing, "I know you're a really big fan of Savioke, cough, and…"
"No." Tadashi cut him off once more. "The fire… how did you know?"
Hiro blinked and fell silent, somehow managing to sink even further down into the chair. He dropped his gaze once more and stared blankly down at his own hands, absently noticing that the fingers of his right hand were nervously playing with the left sleeve of his tattered blue hoodie.
Cough.
He loved this hoodie but not for the reasons everyone assumed. Everyone thought he wore it because he was going for the skater look, the casual attire a good foil for his rebellious streak but they couldn't be further from the truth.
Cough. Cough.
The hoodie had once belonged to Tadashi. Aunt Cass had bought it for him several years ago and he'd loved it. He'd worn it often though not in the manner Hiro managed to wear it. Tadashi had made it look smart. For one, it had fit him, his broad shoulders and chest filling out the fabric in ways Hiro could only dream about. Secondly he'd always zipped it up and paired it with a nice pair of black jeans. Hiro had stolen the garment during one of Tadashi's school trips, the desire to have something that reminded him of his brother while he was away so strong that he couldn't resist the urge.
Tadashi had never asked for it back.
"Was it a dream?"
Hiro blinked, his thoughts once more brought back into the present by the sound of Tadashi's voice. He glanced up, question in his eyes.
Tadashi licked dry lips before rephrasing his question. "Did you also dream about… about a fire at the SFIT showcase?"
If his brain had been operating correctly, it probably would have thrown a few interesting errors and crashed but since that was not the case, it settled for hanging, all processing suspended in favour of staring at his brother in complete shock.
Tadashi reached out and weakly flicked his nose. "Close your mouth." A flicker of amusement entered his dark brown eyes. "You look like… "He paused to take a deep breath, "like a fish out of water."
Hiro closed his mouth with a soft click and scowled, forcing his brain back into gear in an attempt to process the surprising new revelation Tadashi had just dropped into his lap.
Dreams…
Cough.
Tadashi had been having dreams about the showcase fire.
Hiro absently rubbed his throat.
Well, that explained a few things… Namely his presence at the SFIT showcase when he was supposed to be on an airplane headed elsewhere. Hiro had suspected that Tadashi was having nightmares about the fire. Those had already started in his previous time loop, after all, but they had been far too vague for Tadashi to take them seriously. That appeared to have changed this time sound. He hadn't realized that Tadashi's current set of dreams were accurate enough to lead him to conclude that the fire was linked to the SFIT showcase which raised a very important question: How much did Tadashi's subconscious mind really remember?
Cough. Cough.
"You're not supposed to be out of bed are you?" Hiro blinked again, his mind forced to play catch up once more. His silence was clearly enough of a confirmation for Tadashi to let the matter go, as he chose to change the topic instead of opting to pursue his original line of questioning.
"I'm fine." Hiro, replied, another flicker of guilt coursing through him as he sought to bury his slim form further onto the dark blue hoodie he was wearing.
"I can see your hospital gown beneath your hoodie." Tadashi pointed out, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Damn it.
Damn his brother's perceptive nature. Hiro had gone to a lot of effort to hide the fact that he was still wearing a hospital gown! Assuming zipping his hoodie up as far as it could go counted as a lot of effort, that is. "I'll be fine." He rephrased his earlier statement swallowing hard in a bid to keep his next cough down.
"Yes." Tadashi agreed, his brown eyes somehow managing to be reflect both mischief and concern. "Yes, you will be."
Wait…
Wait just one minute. Why was Tadashi agreeing with him so easily when…
"Mr. Hamada, what appears to be the prob…" A male nurse walked into Tadashi's room only to stumble to a halt a few steps in, his eyes quickly scanning the scene before him. "Young Mr. Hamada!" He rushed forward, heading straight towards the chair Hiro was slumped in. "What are you doing here?!" He reprimanded, coming to a halt beside him. "You're not supposed to be out of bed yet." Hiro tried to back away but had nowhere to flee when the nurse bent down to lift him into his arms. "Seriously! We have enough work on our hands as it is." The nurse continued his tirade even as he settled Hiro's slim form into his arms. "We don't need difficult patients like you adding to our work load." He turned and headed back towards the door.
Hiro whined in protest and attempted to wiggle out of the man's arms but it was all to no avail. A fresh wave of dizziness washed over him, bringing with it a new coughing spell that he could not fight off, the hoarse sound escaping him despite his best efforts to contain it, his body trembling in reaction to the painful spasms. "I'm fine." He repeated, his own mind not even registering the words. The response was a but an automatic defensive reaction to his discomfort.
He didn't like this. Any of it. He didn't like the hospital, the doctors, the nurses and most of all, the separation. He didn't want to be carried away, only to be trapped in cold white room while his brother was in another. He couldn't take it, his mind overwhelmed by the myriad of strange scents and sounds, with too much time to think, too much time to doubt his sanity, Tadashi's existence and the outcome he'd fought so hard to achieve.
"Come to think of it, who took off all your medical equipment?"
I did.
A flicker of pride coursed through him. He'd been the one to remove all the equipment the doctors had attached to him and not only had he managed to do it without hurting himself, he'd also managed to do it without alerting anyone. All those years working on enhancing Baymax's capabilities had really paid off. He knew more about that equipment than most people, including most of the doctors, paramedics and nurses that used it on a day to day basis and if they thought he was just going to quietly sit by and let them separate him from Tadashi they had another thing coming. Hiro was already planning to sneak out again, all he needed was…
Hiro finally managed to gain some leverage, lifting his head just far enough to direct one last desperate look in his brother's direction. It was supposed a silent plea, intended to express the sheer depths of his distress only it quickly turned into something else altogether, his train of thought completely derailed by the scene playing out before him.
Tadashi winked.
Tadashi actually had the audacity to wink at him, a cheeky smile spread across his lips. He then raised his right arm into the air, silently revealing the nurse call button still in his grasp.
Hiro glared at him in response.
If Tadashi thought Hiro was going to let him get away with that trick, he had another thing coming.
- BH6 - BH6 - BH6 –
A/N: YAY! I actually managed a second chapter this week! * Beams * Even though the flow of this chapter turned out very strange I really like it. It's a very stark indication of Hiro's current state of mind which is allowed to be a bit wonky given that he did suffer an impact to his head. Add Tadashi's slightly evil protective streak to that and my heart just gets all warm and fuzzy inside… while managing to ache at the same time. Just picture it, people, picture the evil glint in Tadashi's eyes as the nurse carries Hiro out of the room! XD XD XD
Tsuki no Shijima: Yeah, Tadashi was really struggling to deal with the strange situation he found himself especially as he was having nightmares about such a fire beforehand. His ever logical mind was really struggling to deal but I think he performed admirably under the circumstances. I can just picture his slack jaw as he stared at the fire XD XD XD. As for the reset... well at least Hiro hasn't reset... yet.
SharKohen: Yup, Tadashi ditched the seminar in favor of going to check on Hiro. Imagine his shock when he realized that his gut feeling was accurate. Also, seeing Fred made him pass out XD XD XD.
SweetWritingIsMyLife: I also liked how analytical Tadashi's thoughts were. He is a lot calmer than Hiro in general.
14fox: * Throws some liquid nitrogen in your direction with the intention of cooling all that overheating equipment. * I'm glad you are enjoying my story and seriously enjoyed the reference you made to the crashing brain messages I used in the story... Well done * Applauds *
Morgan: XD
Guest: YAY for yet another person binge reading this! * Dances about in glee * It is an emotional roller coaster, I'll give you that but so worth it. The craziness is just so much fun, ne? I may be an evil writer but you're loving it :P. I mean, someone has to keep life interesting!
Jathagarth: Glad I was able to give you a good start to your work day XD. It's also nice to see that you realized the rest of the team was the key element Hiro was missing in his previous time loops. This is by no means over yet but at least he was finally able to make a key change in the timeline.
Taurus: Poor love... you must have been exhausted when you read my update. I'm glad you realized the -BH6- thing is a page break. I don't use it in a chapter often because I generally try to write the entire chapter without inserting a skip in time. Unfortunately, there were a few chapters that would have been too short if I did that. Glad you are enjoying the cliff-hangers * Don't worry I'll defend you from anyone that tries to shoot you for that * and also love the fact that you have managed to find some really good quotes in my story. Unfortunately, the latest one you have picked up is not mine. It is a famous Sherlock Holmes quote that I simply used in my story to express Tadashi's thought process. I didn't realize that it wasn't as well-known as I may have thought so I have edited that part and included a reference to Sherlock Holmes. The second quote though... that one is all mine * EVIL GRIN *
P.S: * Reaches out to grab you and shake you around. * WATCH YURI ON ICE WOMAN! NOW! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW! It's one of the new season starters and I am so obsessed it's not even funny!
P.P.S: Horrible is but a perception. :P
P.P.P.S: I also used to draw and also don't draw much anymore. I drew the picture of Hiro that I am using as the cover for this fanfic. Been too lazy to actually finish it though. Its only half done. I still need to color Tadashi in. The picture actually belongs to my previous fan fiction though. Tadashi is wearing armor in the other half and I attempted to draw an 'older' version of Hiro.
P.P.P.P.S: Yup, you really could say he 'saw' that coming. Bad pun intended ;)
