A/N:

Okay, so since I last updated a lot has happened. Okay, not really. I got a new computer, though, cos I managed to ruin my old one. Which means I lost a lot of stuff, including what I'd written of this chapter and my chapter plan. Which kind of just made me rage quit and I kind of just gave up on writing for a while. Also known as eight months. But I'm back, sort of, with a new chapter. I'm really grateful for all of you who are still reading, even when we're here on chapter 51. Just wow. Thank you for not giving up on it! And thank you for the encouraging reviews and messages. I would've genuinely given up for good if it wasn't for you guys. I hope you can forgive the wait.


Chapter 51

Mary, Remus, Marlene and Lily

Mary Macdonald

"Avery wants you to sleep with Snape?" something about saying that aloud makes me want to throw up. But the look on Lene's face tells me it's no joke.

She's sitting there in front of me, frankly looking like a little lost puppy, which is weird for her. With her head turned down, staring at her feed and shrugging every now and then.

I know this might make me sound bipolar, but I've decided maybe I should just let her off the hook. When Lily'd arrived, mascara running down her face (and Lily doesn't even use that much mascara, also she prefers a brown one so she looked like a rigid mess), sobbing about something involving Marlene and Snape — I just went 'nope'. I couldn't even believe what she was saying so I'd done the best thing in this situation and left her with Alice. Everyone knows Alice is much better at dealing with shit than I am. I can't even deal with my own shit, there's not a chance in earth that I could even try to fix Lily Evans.

Running into Lene had been kind of an accident. Sure, I was on my way down to look for her but I'd run into Sirius instead. And bloody hell, did he looked pissed off. And knew only few things could make Sirius Black so angry. His family, fighting with his mates and Marlene McKinnon. Merlin, they are such a train wreck. I can't decide if I want them together or not.

"Where's Lene?" I'd demanded from Sirius, who had given me a glare before telling me in which classroom he'd last seen her. He refused to give me any information of what had happened. I decided not to ask 'What's going on between Marlene and Snape' cos I was afraid he might get so angry that he'd rip apart then and there and I'd stand there covered in little pieces of Sirius—flesh and shit.

So when I'd found her — thankfully she hadn't left the classroom, sitting on the professor's desk, looking miserable. I guess it was hard for me to convince my self that I hated her.

Obviously I'd never hated her. But I'd been angry at her.

I refused to be overly nice to her, though. So I'd demanded she told me everything. And I meant everything.

So she had.

I'm pretty certain that I hate Sirius right now. I'll even go back to calling him 'Black' if she wants.

Honestly, what does he want from her? I know she loves him. Or well I think she does. But I'm not sure if she knows.

"I don't know why," Lene says, shrugging again before looking up at me. "That's what he said though. I honestly thought he was going to ask me to sleep with him. But to ask me to sleep with someone else..." she trails off.

I shudder. "And Snape of all people. Do you reckon he's doing it to mess with you?" I raise my eyebrows. "Like, would he know that would effect badly on us? I mean you and Lily and you and—"

"Don't." there's a change in her voice, her eyebrows narrow and her whole face hardens up.

"Right, we're back on the hate train. I forget." I roll my eyes at her. "Honestly, Lene. Do you wan't me to talk to him?"

"Avery? Are you mad—"

"—No! Sirius, dumbfuck."

She gives me a pained look. "We're done with each other," she tells me, shrugging. But her shoulders are tense. "We both told each other that earlier and I think that's it. I don't need to mend anything with him. I just want to mend things between me and Lily. And I don't want to sleep with Severus bloody Snape."

When aren't they "done with each other"?

"Does anyone, really?" the thought makes me giggle. "Oh gosh Lene. What if he's a virgin? Could you do that? Sleep with a virgin?"

Marlene tilts her head. "Don't be so judgy on virgins. I'm pretty sure half of our friends are still virgins."

Sighing, I nod my head. "I know, but it's Snape and you'd have to take his virg—"

"Don't say it!"

"—inity!"

She groans, closing her eyes. "That's so gross, Mare."

I don't mean for it to happen, but I smile a little at the nickname. It means that we've both forgiven each other, without actually having to apologise. Which neither one of us wanted to do.

"We do have to figure out what we're gonna do about this Avery thing," I tell her, giving her a stern look.

"I know. I just don't really know. He wants me to do it tomorrow, but I don't think I can. It'd ruin me and Lily."

"Can't you just not do it. I mean, why do you owe him, with everything they did last year—"

"Because he told me about Emmeline."

"Yeah but that should've made you guys even."

"Well, it didn't."

Sighing, I pull out a chair and sit down on it. "Speaking of Emmeline, have you seen her around?"McGonagal

"Nope, not since McGonagall escorted her back here and insisted we'd explain why she wanted to move in with Slytherines."

"And we told her we didn't bloody care."

"Emmeline burst into tears."

"And ran away."

The memory is almost amusing, the look on McGonagall's face. It was kind of hard watching Emmeline cry and run away but she was a bitch, wasn't she? Telling those Slytherins about us, even after Mulciber attacked me.

"So... What's the plan?"

"I don't know." Marlene replies honestly.

"Maybe we should talk to someone."

"What do you mean?" she raises her eyebrows. "I'm not about to take this to the Professors—"

"No I meant like.. James."

"Potter?"

"Yes, that James."

"How could he help?"

"James is pretty threatening when he's angry, and he cares about you Lene. So if we tell him what Avery's forcing you to do—"

"I'm sure Sirius will tell him anyway." she stutters over his name, but I pretend to not notice.

"All the better. Come on—" I stand up, reaching for her hand so I can pull her off the desk.

"I'm not sure this is the best idea—"

"Good. Then I'm sure it is."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's be honest Lene, you make the worst decisions ever."


Remus Lupin

"Avery wants Marlene to do what?"

"That's what she fucking does for fucking talking to fucking Avery," Sirius is muttering and I'm slightly worried about all the saliva coming out of his mouth.

"Is—Is—Is Lily okay?" James asks.

Lily? Why is he asking about Lily?

"Do you mean McKinnon?"

"Well, her too. But didn't you say Lily was there and with her past with Snape—"

"I thought you were over Lily," I raise my eyebrows, Peter sitting beside me, doing the same.

James visibly swallows, trying to shrug the question off "I am, I just don't want her hurt—"

"Do you still fancy her?" Peter asks, eyebrows raised like mine.

"It's complicated," James replies, eyes avoiding all of ours.

"Moony, I think he's keeping something away from us," Sirius seems to have calmed down slightly from earlier, or he's too busy worrying about James to think about Marlene.

"James..." I trail off in a question. "We have too many secrets."

"I snogged her."

"What?" all three of us say at the same time.

"She doesn't want anyone to know."

"You made out with Evans?" Sirius is the first one to recover from this information. "I'd say well done but the look on your face—"

"She didn't want to tell anyone, she was ashamed of it." a rosy—colour starts forming on James's cheeks as he looks down in shame.

None of us seem to know what to say next.

"Is that why she was upset?" Sirius asks after a fair while of silence.

James looks up, face paler than before. "She was upset?"

"I—" Sirius sighs, resting his head against the wall and groaning. "When I went to look for McKinnon," her name comes out in an angry growl. "I found her comforting Evans, I wasn't really thinking so I might've upset her more by yelling about the whole—" he paused, struggling. "Snape, thing."

"Should I talk to her?" James questions, looking from Sirius to me and to Peter.

"Probably," Peter replies, looking at me for help.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know." James replies, honestly. "Why are girls so difficult?"

"I think we're all wondering that exact same thing," I reply with a grimace.


Marlene McKinnon

Sometimes you think he must love you.

You used to be his best female friend, anyway. He used to talk to you the most of the other girls. He used to see you the most. He kisses you. He caresses you. He sleeps with you.

He must love you.

You're just not sure if he's in love with you.

You know you love him, even if you don't like admitting it.

You know you love his face, his body, even his fucked up personality. Even the way he treats you. The way he touches you, the way he kisses you and the way he makes you feel.

Makes you feel every goddamned thing there is to feel.

When he kisses your skin, your neck and your stomach. When he trails his fingers over your slightly wet lip and his eyes stare into yours, so deeply that if you weren't so busy getting lost in them, you could see your own reflection in them. That's when you're sure he loves you.

When you shoot up in bed, your hair attached to your forehead because of sweat, and you realise you've just been dreaming again, you still think he has to love you.

Even if right now, he wouldn't even touch you, because he wants nothing to do with you.

Right now he hates you.

But he has to—sort of—love you as well, doesn't he?


Mary Macdonald

The common room is like a war—zone. When Lene and I get in, after our heart to heart, the lights are off but that doesn't mean everyone is asleep.

Lily is curled up in her bed, dried mascara still on her face and her hands clinging to her pillow as she hugs it. A part of me wants to go over to her and rub her back and talk to her about it. We're so close now. But according to Lene, Lily's angry at Lene and I need to side with Lene here, because I'm not sure Lene has anyone else on her side.

Not that it's Lene's fault per se, it's not like she wants to sleep with Snape. But I don't think the girls are gonna be happy that she kept the whole Avery—thing away from them for so long and then this was the result.

Besides the fact that I'm on Lene's side and therefor cannot go snuggle Lily, Alice is sitting in a chair next to her bed like a guard dog. Giving both me and Lene dirty looks when we get in.

"It's late." She says, pretending that is why she's mad at us and not that she's decided Lily's side is the one to pick. Alice doesn't usually choose but I have a feeling she's more loyal to the crying red head than the slutty blonde this time.

Emmeline's bed is empty, which doesn't surprise me. Even if McGonagall found about her sleeping in the Slytherin's and forced her to bring her stuff back, she hasn't been around.

"We're going to bed," I tell Alice, my tone short clipped and rude, but I don't care. If she's gonna be mad at me because of Lene, then I can be mad at her back.

I crawl over to my bed, moving to the edge so Lene can do the same—crawl over to my bed that is and not hers, she looks like she needs someone to hold onto while sleeping. We used to do that after her parents got split up (also known as her dad running out on them).

She follows me, curling up next to me, though her legs take up more of the bed than mine because she's so damn tall. But it doesn't matter, I intertwine our fingers and snuggle into her shoulder.

I hear a small snort coming from where Alice. It worries me a bit if she's being this rude, that might actually mean we're going to have a full out war. Again.


Lily Evans

I dream about James. I dream about my parents. I dream about the war.

One nightmare after another.

I've failed all three of them. My parents and James. James who never got fed up with how I treated him. James who always kept running back to me with that goofy grin and tried and tried and tried to get me. James who got me. James who kissed me. James who I kissed. James who I want to keep kissing. James who I can't admit to myself that I want to be with.

James who is so easy but so dangerous at the same time.

I dream about falling, I dream about failing. Not just school, not just flunking out and being thrown out of the wizarding community and back as an ordinary muggle.

I dream about having failed my parents, never being good enough and never being able to prove myself to them.

I dream about a faceless man pointing his wand at me, my friends scattered around the floor below me—dead.

I wake up screaming.


A/N:

Okay, so basically they can't be happy. But I already warned you there'd be plenty of drama. And Avery's plot couldn't go dramafree.

Lets just hope our Gryffindors can solve this shit, though they're kind of bad at that.

Again, I'm so sorry for how long it took me to get this out. I just, once I started putting it off, it was so hard to start up again. I will try to update faster next time. I genuinely will. And maybe have it longer, because you guys really do deserve some good juicy chapters. I'll just have to reread some chapters to get it flowing again.

Reviews would be lovely!