"More like I wouldn't eat with you!"
Izaya shrugged and then smiled beautifully.
"Only the power of love could bring us together around the same table like this, two sworn enemies and all!"
Shizuo was in the process of chewing, he never got around to swallowing properly because he choked. Then blushed and twiddled his fingers hopelessly.
"Love? What are you saying, I'm not ready for that just now-"
"Shizu-chan, are you stupid? I mean love for tuna, tuna. What else could I mean?"
Shizuo relaxed but could not avoid feeling a bit disappointed despite himself.
"Oh, right. You're a freak, it's just fish. Besides, there are other kinds of fish, this is too much tuna."
Izaya jumped to his feet and rudely pointed his chopsticks at Shizuo.
"Blasphemy! There can never be too much tuna. As for other fish they are subordinate to the wonders of tuna and that is a fact."
"Ah..."
Shizuo did not listen to the rant, he was too busy looking at Izaya's long legs that seemed endless, Shizuo sitting while Izaya stood above him.
"Back to feeding me."
"Ah...oh, sure."
Shizuo shivered as Izaya sucked at Shizuo's fingers.
"So delicious. Joy of joys. Are you chewing it like I told you?"
"Yeah. Tastes better that way."
"Indeed. Finally, something good comes my way."
"You traveled half across the world and the thing you like the most is sushi."
"Better than being smitten by the pretty rivers. As if we didn't have streams in Japan."
"Yeah but I never get to see any. Cuz I stay in Tokyo all the time."
"Speaking of seeing new sights, guess what! The casino people are offering La Shizuka a contract for working as a drag queen here in Las Vegas! La Shizuka: the Japanese vixen! Good pay, too. I'd take the offer if I were you."
Izaya nodded wisely and served Shizuo a particularly juicy slice thus proving that he was a generous person.
"You just want to get rid of me so you can have Ikebukuro all for yourself."
"No negative talk when tuna is involved."
And with this unlikely to succeed ban the meal carried on until there was no more food to be eaten. Izaya sighed happily and lied on his back, the long hair pooling around him.
"Ah, sushi is better than sex."
"Don't go saying weird things."
Izaya waved a hand in the air in a desultory fashion.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
"I've been wondering...how come your wig stays in place even with all the pole dancing?"
"That's because it is not exactly a wig as much as a weave."
"A weave...?"
"Yes. It is attached to my actual hair. That's why it looks so natural. Beauty comes at a cost, it hurts like hell getting the weave on place."
"Man, you really love tuna fish to go to that extent."
Izaya sat up suddenly and smirked evilly before arranging the long hair so that it covered his face entirely, dragging it on the floor as he crawled on all fours.
"The hell?"
"Seven days...seven days..."
Izaya's crawl was slow and deliberately awkwardly with plenty of limbs sticking out at odd angles.
"Stop that! It's creepy!"
Shizuo was frozen as Izaya kept on crawling until he was on Shizuo's lap. Then Izaya burst out laughing as Shizuo fell back. Izaya pulled back the curtain of hair so that he would not choke on it as peals of laughter escaped from him.
"Can't believe you're scared of Sadako! Oh you simpleton, big strong man afraid of a fictional character that climbs out of wells."
Shizuo's current predicament had little to do with horror movies and a lot to do with the fact that Izaya was sitting astride on top of him. And to make matters even worse Shizuo was still wearing the flimsy skirt.
"You're scary yourself! And creepy."
Without as much as a knock the sliding door flung open before any of them could react and Shingen stood there in all his glory, gas mask and all.
"Gentlemen! This is a restaurant, not a den of iniquity! As Japanese citizens I expect you to keep your hormones in check! This is the problem with young people nowadays, no sense of propriety or self-control. Back in the war,"
"Not you again!"
Shizuo flailed so much that no words occurred to him and he did not even remove Izaya from his groin as he should have had. Fortunately, before it became too embarrassing Izaya was up again and ready to rail at Shingen.
