Hey guys. Sorry it took me so long to update. I had some trouble with how to write this chapter and what to bring into it. Luckily, the next three chapters should come closer to each other. As I have them partly planned.

And guys, polyvore has been taken down. Yes, the whole page and not only my account. No, I do not know why and it was without a warning or anything. Really annoying and it sucks to have lost it all after all of those hours one spent at that page.

I have now downloaded my sets from polyvore. So at least I can see them. Even though not change them or make anymore of them.

Then, at last before I get to the chapter. I put up an Instagram account with pictures that has got to do with my fanfictions. I'll put up some covers and outfits and cla's and about the same as I used polyvore for. Anyway, the account is called "linneagbfanfiction" if anyone's interested in checking it out.

Enjoy!

Belle POV

"There are bowls with snacks on the table people. Crisps, candy, chocolate. Please eat of it. It needs to be gone in four hours or my husband will give me a three hour long lecture about how all of this food will give me bad skin and make me fat."

As if to show us that he meant with what he was saying Mr. Blaine leaned over the table, grabbed a handful of crisps and shoved it all into his mouth at once. Then only raised an eyebrow at the disgusted grimaces around him.

"Wha'?"

On Monday, May the twenty eighth Mr. Blaine had called all of the soldiers of Finn's army to his home again. This time at the last second, only yesterday and I was supposed to have dinner with Lenny and the others for Memorial Day so I couldn't help but to want to leave and run for my life over to Milton Center to meet Lenny- who had at least not gone back to be all quiet and callous since I and Daniel were there last week.

"I hope I didn't ruin anyone's plans for Memorial Day. But even if so. I promise you we won't have to be here for long. Most of this week's theme will be done on Tuesday and Thursday. As you know, next week we start rehearsing for nationals and wow. Can you believe it guys? After all of this year and everything that's happened. We're going to nationals. We're going to Hawaii and we are going to nationals…"

Mr. Blaine looked around as if he waited to get a round of applause. When nobody said anything his shoulders slumped, then he got up from sitting on the couch and hit his arms out before he shouted it.

Oh yes, he did expect to get applause.

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME GUYS. WE ARE GOING TO NATIONALS!"

I started clapping as did all of the others, Daniel next to me and Keagan and a couple of the others started shouting too. And Carole Hudson-Hummel's Portuguese waterdog Alice got onto her feet from where she'd been lying getting scratched on the floor and started barking.

"That's right Alice." Mr. Blaine sat down again and scratched the dog on top of her head and she growled in well-being. "You're excited most of all. Aren't you? Well. To what I was going to tell the rest of you. For this week, all the members in the band, Mr. Dom, Mr. Jonas, Wil and Kayla have all gotten sheet music for the songs you did for your auditions. However, it's up to each and every one of you how you want to do your song. So, when we are in the choir room tomorrow or Thursday then don't be afraid to tell one or more of them to shut up because you want to do your song your way. Okay? Well, there are two of you who did your auditions right in this room. And I have decided that each and every one of you will do your audition songs in the places that you did. And that is the reason we're here today on our day off for Memorial Day. I hope I didn't ruin anyone's plans but I promise we won't be here for long. Only two of you did your auditions song here, and those two are Charlotte Amato and Christie Kyemohr."

Mr. Blaine started clapping his hands, the rest of us followed. I looked around the room slightly and noticed Charlotte on the other side of the table from me and Christie sitting on the stairs leading up towards the second floor. None of the girls seemed to want to comment it and seemed to wait for somebody else to say something.

And who, and who, and who would that be?

"But Charlotte did her audition in the auditorium didn't she?" I could hear a sigh from Daniel next to me when it was Lea-Marie who spoke up. And everybody in the whole room turned to either her or Charlotte who turned bright red. "Then she went sharp, blew it and ran out of the room. Or do I remember this wrong?"

"No. Lea-Marie, you do remember it correctly." Mr. Blaine agreed and Charlotte moaned. "It's okay. We've all been there. That stuff happens."

"I went sharp on the concert a few weeks ago." Jasper cut off. "And that was in front of like eighty thousand people who had come to see us do great so if you want to compete about who have done the worst mistakes…."

"Can everybody just stop talking about it?" Charlotte moaned and Mr. Blaine patted her shoulder. "I was so close to make it through all of this year without it seeming like anybody else than myself remembering."

"Well, anyway Charlotte. I- we have seen you through all of this year and none of us could have failed to notice that you have changed and you have broken out from that shy, nervous, breaking human being down on the stage blowing one note after the other at the auditions. And as you know, most of you have had solos during sectionals and regionals. And that is everybody except for you and Daniel. Which means you two will have solos on nationals."

"I did have a solo on regionals."

"Yeah, I know. But that part was so short it really doesn't count. But I, we all know that you will do that amazingly. Just as amazingly as you did both your first and your second audition. And I have to say especially the second because first when… you… blew the note. To, even if we weren't as many people here then. Get up and try again… that was one of the bravest acts of this whole year and that is the truth."

Charlotte had since before turned bright red. Buts he did smile, very slightly and I could see Mr. Blaine smiling back towards her proudly.

"It wasn't that really." Charlotte protested carefully. "But then… if you want me to sing the song I auditioned with here?" Mr. Blaine nodded. "And unless Christie wants to go first. Then I… I think I have an instrumental version of the song sometimes here."

She pulled up her phone and the room fell in silence while she riffled through something to find what she was looking for.

I wasn't a typically very sneaky person. But I couldn't help but to look forward to what songs people had done at their auditions. Of course, for the ones in the auditorium I could remember the most of them since I had been there. But then, today at first there was Christie and Charlotte. And then of course, Martina, Benjamin and at last Daniel.

And Daniel was everything I saw. While all I heard was those lyrics that Charlotte sang. She did have a beautiful voice, and even though she might not know it herself. We all knew for a fact she was one of the best singers in this room. And with the song being about someone who just came in and broke down all your walls- easily.

I couldn't help but remember back to the audition days, when I had been in love with Seth. Or thought I had been in love with at least.

I hadn't noticed how wrong I was until today feeling Daniel behind me while Charlotte sang.

While she sang the sun must have broken through the clouds outside and right through the window and on her. Creating almost like a halo around her- and wasn't it perfect for the song?

Oh yes it was! And so was her voice with this song, how high she could go without going sharp.

"And then, everybody let's hear it for Charlotte Amato." Mr. Blaine shouted while we all clapped our hands and she turned her phone off. "I might have said it before. But Charlotte Amato- you're amazing. And your voice is amazing." Charlotte blushed but smiled slightly. "And then it's your turn, Christie Kyemohr."

Christie's short and scrawny figure got up and down from the stairs. Without looking at anyone she made her way over to the piano by the wall, her feet only barely reaching down to the pedals down by the floor before she started explaining her song to us others.

"I'm not the one who talks about my private life just like that but… to say something about why I chose this song. I only came to McKinley, and Lima to live with my aunt Carole when my dad couldn't stand seeing me anymore. I guess he had his reasons with me being ill and everything. But my dad is kind of an ass. I could have left him any day. Leaving my brother and mum however was… a bit harder. Even though I couldn't really see a choice. And as well as that. I was thinking about my cousin, Finn Hudson. And remembered him telling me about the glee club he was in. At first I wasn't going to audition. No matter how much Blaine kept on nagging me. But then I remembered that day when I and Finn were out playing in the snow that day. And we came inside, had hot chocolate. I always had so much trouble sleeping because of my restless-legs-syndrome because of the kidney failure but as the day was ending… Finn just held me and kept singing and it was like that made everything go away- the pain, the itch. Everything. And I figured that if the glee club helped Finn… maybe it could help me too."

Christie pressed a key on the piano, but didn't move after pressing that one. Instead she stayed only looking down towards the keys with a sort of dreaming look in her eyes as if she was in fact somewhere far away from here.

"I guess this song was a chance for me. And maybe they weren't here in person but… to be in here. Play this song with Finn, and with mum and Toby. And a chance for us to finally, with this song- stand up to my dad." She moved her hands and laid the other one too up on the piano keys. "But not a word to anyone outside this room that I know songs from Hannah Montana okay?"

Without waiting for a reply about something that was obviously Christie's guilty pleasure Christie at last started playing. I leaned back and leaned my head to the side towards Daniel's chest while he laid his arm around my shoulders.

Not a mention about that I recognized this song and could have been singing along to every single word of it. After all- wasn't Hannah Montana supposed to be a children's TV show. That we were so many older kids who liked so much anyway.

Christie had meant what she said when she said that she didn't tell people about her private life. We all knew it, after all we had spent our time in the same room as her at least a couple of times a week since the beginning of the school year- we knew Christie. And we knew what she was like, even though she'd changed after coming back to school after the kidney transplant she had gotten in the very last minute.

But this song was clearly the most Christie had ever shown us others about what went on inside of her after everything that had happened this year.

After all, she was fifteen years old- younger than everybody in this room except for Jasper, and had the last few months moved across the country without her closest family, almost died and then had to realize she would be healthier than she could remember having ever been before. And upon that found out that it was my dad that had hit her beloved cousin and left him on the road to die.

I never actually wanted to think about Finn Hudson. What he had done, who he had been. How loved he had been. A lot of people had loved him and several of them I'd met during this year in the glee club. Bradon, Christie, Mr. Blaine, Kurt and Carole.

But I couldn't think about Finn without remembering that night that dad had disappeared to at last come back. Mentioning how he had hit a guy, how the guy had just fallen and then laughed while he said how he hadn't gotten up all the while, while dad could still see him.

And finally finding out who it had been dad hit that night. I now knew that he had never gotten up again, never even opened his eyes or woken up. Never, ever again.

Suddenly, just as the end of Christie's audition song came on I flinched and realized I had dreamed away. But even though I at least stayed in here and now but then, watching Christie I couldn't help but to feel bad for her. After all, that night she had lost one of the people she loved the very most. And who would know where she would be today if Finn still was.

When we clapped and let hear it for Christie I was not concentrated and only weakly hit my palms towards each other a few times. And that even though Christie was a really good singer and none of us could not see that.

And before Mr. Blaine had started talking I finally got myself all back to reality.

"I never fail to be impressed by how much talent can be fit into your tiny, little self Christie."

"I wish people would stop calling me tiny."

"You can't blame them." Lea-Marie didn't let wait until she snorted and commented. "You are tiny. And no matter how much you hate people calling you that. Even you would have to admit that everybody who does are perfectly right."

"Well, I know that people call you Bigfoot all the time. What if I call you that all the time? Not so funny anymore would it? That wouldn't make it any less true."

"Girls." Before Lea-Marie could come with some smart answer Mr. Blaine got up and held one hand in front of each of them. "Throwing words and hitting each other's weak spots like that won't do any good for anyone and…" We could suddenly hear the door in the hallway open and close. "Oh boy. If that is Kurt and he comes home to see how many snacks there are around this room…"

It was Kurt as a matter of fact.

And he obviously noticed, because he stopped right inside the door and I saw him look around the room to then freeze having seen the filled up bowls on the table. While Mr. Blaine gave a slight grimace and then put down a biscuit he hold, as if to seem as if he hadn't eaten anything- he had eaten just as much as the rest of us all together.

"You're home early."

Kurt Hummel-Anderson looked around the room once again. And none of us could fail to remember how Mr. Blaine had mentioned that if Kurt came home to see all the snacks Mr. Blaine had bought for this he might get a long lecture and Kurt would not be too happy.

"Well… I think we can be happy about that." Kurt did in fact not look happy. "What are you doing?"

"I just got together all of the glee club here today. It's only for a little while. This week I've decided everybody will do their audition songs. And they will do them where they did them at first. And Charlotte and Christie did their auditions in here. Christie only just finished hers."

"I'm going to have to talk to you when everybody's left."

Kurt left the room towards the kitchen and Mr. Blaine grimaced towards us again.

"Well. Charlotte and Christie were the only two who did their auditions today. So unless anyone here has got anything to ask for the rest of the week or anything. Then I guess we're done here for today. And I'll see you tomorrow on regular time in the choir room. And then we'll go into the next of the week. First of all, there were three of you who auditioned in the choir room so you three will start it off tomorrow. And oh… isn't there anyone who feels like bringing these snacks with them home? It'll only be thrown away if it stays here. And I don't like it when things I've spent money on has to be thrown away."

"Do you want anything?"

Daniel was taller than me so if so he'd reach all of what was on the table easier than me. I only shook my head, I didn't want anything. Daniel himself took a can of Cola that had been right in front of him and stood up.

"Are you coming B?"

"Yeah."

"Well then guys." I stood up after Daniel. "Hoping to get through the hallway before all the rush before everyone are in there. See you in glee club tomorrow."

Daniel made his way through the living room crossing in between people, a dog, furniture and god knows it all. All I had to do was to hold onto his hand and follow in his path. Having a tall boyfriend wasn't so bad when you were short yourself.

"There we go." None of us pulled a deep breath until we were out the door. "Wow, there were so many people in just one place it was almost hard to breathe." Daniel, who had let go pulling his jacket on laid his arm around my shoulders while walking up the driveway and then the street. "This seems like it will be an interesting theme for the week doesn't it?"

"Oh yeah." I agreed. "I never saw your audition since you were accused of having been going through Esme's bag. And I don't think you ever told me what song you ended up using."

"Well…" Daniel hesitated and I could as good as hear the smirk on his lips. "I think I'll save it for tomorrow and surprise you. I think you know the song and tomorrow you'll just have to think that all this while I was singing it. I was singing it to you- or someone like you. Since when we started this year we had no idea what we would turn out to be."

Daniel silent, most of the road we then walked in silence. The thing with being close as Daniel and I had grown to be in only the past few months, we didn't have to speak twenty-four-seven. Or let the other know we were there in one way or another, we just were. And we'd know even without words.

"Since both your dad and your brother used to be in the army I guess Memorial Day must be a great deal."

We were almost at the point where we had to split up before Daniel said anything finally.

"Not really." I shrugged. "But as long as I can remember we always had like… a nice dinner and everything. And then dad talks for hours about what he did in the army and we have a couple of photos up from when he was, including a couple of ones of his friends that were killed in some bomb going off- I can't remember the story really. And we just… kind of take a moment for it to mean something. Rather than another dinner where we just eat up and then disappear into our own world for the whole afternoon. I guess we just… concentrate on spending time together. Anyway…" We stopped and took each other's hands in the crossroad where we had to split up and go in each direction. "…What are you doing then?"

"I'm home alone as usual. So I will be spending the night with homework, eating Twizzlers and Hershey's and I don't know… watching the TV or playing the guitar or stuff like that. I don't really have anything planned."

"We're going to Milton's center so Lenny can be with us too." Something always clenched in my chest when we got nearer and nearer the point where we had to split up. "But towards the future and glee club and speaking about families. Your parents were coming to Hawaii for nationals right?"

"Well, at least they're planning to do so. And in that case they'll be arriving in Honolulu right before the competition starts and then come with us back to Lima when we go home. Then they're home for the summer at least. But… I guess we'll see in a few weeks how that will go and everything. I hope they'll make it." Daniel then leaned forward and kissed me. "See you tomorrow in school." He let go of my hands and backed away, then turned and walked away while I for a second stood still and only watched him.

And then he turned, smiled and blinked at me and then turned away and continued walking. It wasn't until then I turned in my direction and walked up the hill towards my house.

Lenny hadn't exactly acted happy anything. Even though he had finally talked to us when I and Daniel were at Milton Center and sang and I had told him about nationals and everything. But he had at last started talking to us, and done the physiotherapy he had to and was told to do by therapists on the center.

So even if he wasn't quite back to my brother. Even though I loved him just as much still. And even though he knew just as well as the rest of us it would be unlikely he could ever return to the army it was really like the Lenny that was just Lenny was on his way back towards us.

"Hey mum." When I was inside the door to our house mum was right inside. She too had suffered the last few months. Of course because a mother was the worth worrier of all, but then because of the car crash she had been in. Both because she was hurt and was on strong painkillers for her back, neck and head every day, and from the knowledge that she had been driving and her best friend had been killed.

(By that I didn't mean the accident was mum's fault. The car from the other direction had come over on the wrong side of the road. And as mum tried to get away from the crash that car had hit Jane Collins's side of the car hard)

"How are you doing today?" I didn't have to ask actually. Her moves were slow and stiff as we walked into the living room. "Should I go and get some of your pills? Or some ice? Should I get something done before we go to Milton Center?"

"I'm okay dear." Mum kissed the top of my soft, dark hair. "But some ice for my neck would be nice." I nodded and hurried into the kitchen, got a piece of ice from the freezer, folded a kitchen towel around it so it wouldn't give mum freeze burns. Then made my way back into the living room and carefully helped mum to lie it towards her neck on her shoulder.

"You have had to take on so much lately Bella." Mum told me tiredly. "I'm sorry I can't help you more."

"That's okay." I answered truthfully. "Is there something else I should get?" I heard the front door open and close and footsteps. "Who's that? Someone I should go and help inside? Couldn't they have knocked?"

"It's only Shauna, Belle. She makes her way in and out as she pleases." As on a given signal the door to the living room opened and Lenny's girlfriend came into the room. "Hey Shauna. Are you doing alright today? How's the baby?"

"Yeah." Shauna walked over to the couch and sat down. "We're doing okay. I was doing some thinking but I think I'd like to wait until Le… until we're at Milton Center… Hey Mr. Jolie." Dad came wheeling into the room from the kitchen. "To say it. Yeah… with Lenny too."

"With who too?"

"Lenny?" I span around, I recognized his voice so I wouldn't have had that questioning tone. "What are you doing here? I thought we were going back to Milton Center? Weren't we? Why aren't you there? Why are you here?"

During going on and on I couldn't help but notice my brother. He was still slumped in his wheelchair, he still looked tired- more tired than I had ever seen anyone look before. But there was something back that I hadn't seen for so long. And for the first time since he had left to go the first time there was life back in his eyes and his whole expression when he shrugged and finally answered my questions.

"I fancied a visit. It's only for dinner though. Before tonight I'll have to go back." Lenny wheeled himself closer to the sofa where Shauna sat, leaned over and kissed her. "Wow Bells. You can close your mouth now… Hey dad." Dad came in from the kitchen while Lenny seemed mostly concentrated on Shauna who had just come into the room and sat down. "What is it Shau? Why are you smirking like that? What is it you're not telling me?"

Shauna really did look as if she was keeping a secret with that smirk. And having looked around on us all she bit her lip one more time before she started talking.

"Well hi. First of all. But then… You know. I was playing with our names a bit." Shauna looked down towards her belly and rubbed it over it which was growing bigger and rounder by the day. "And I got L-E from Lenny. And then A from Shauna so I was thinking… one name I like. Maybe… Maybe Leah."

"Leah?" Lenny weighed his head a bit to the side and looked thoughtful. "Leah… I like that… Leah…" "Wait" He suddenly flinched, sat up and straightened in the wheelchair. "Are you saying… what… I think you're saying?"

"That depends on what you think I'm saying."

"You know what I mean… You mean, Leah… It's… Have you been to the doctor? Did they check? Leah? It's a girl."

"Yep." Shauna nodded and the biggest smile ever was forming on her lips. "It's a girl."

"But… what? Wh… I don't…" Only stuttering something that couldn't be understood Lenny loosened the brakes of his wheelchair and with something visible that I hadn't seen for many months in his eyes he wheeled over to Shauna on the couch. "Hey." Shauna turned to him so he could lay his palm against her belly and lean closer. "It's daddy." He rubbed the floral-patterned shirt with his thumb. "You're a little girl. And your name is Leah. Do you like that?" Lenny suddenly flinched. "Whoa. Did you feel that?" He looked up towards Shauna's face. "What is that? Is it okay? Did it hurt?"

"No it doesn't hurt silly." Shauna had to wipe tears of joy from her eyes. "She's kicking. She has before but… never so strong. Can you feel that? She's doing it again." Lenny nodded, then had to wipe tears himself before he laid his palm back towards Shauna's stomach. "She can hear you, you know."

"Yeah." Lenny kept on rubbing Shauna's stomach. "Hey… Little… Leah I… I know that even though you can hear me you don't understand me but… I just wanted to say that I'm daddy. And mummy's here, and grandma, and grandpa, and Auntie Belle. And we all love you very much. But I think that I love you most of all. Because I never knew I could love anyone at all like this and it almost feels like my heart is going to explode. And then I can't wait to see you. But you can't come yet. No rush, okay? We all you to be healthy when you come to us and if you come now then… Well. I guess you'll have all of this explained to you in its time. But I love you, we all love you. Okay… And I can't wait to see you… My little Leah."

"And then…" Lenny still didn't take his eyes off Shauna's belly even though she talked to him. "I was thinking about middle names. The classic of course is to name a baby after a family member. But you do know I've never been very close with either my mum or any of my sisters. But you are… But I still wanted her to have her own names so I made… What if… Jeanie Isabella?" Lenny finally looked up again, and this time along with Shauna turned to both me and mum. "Leah Jeanie Isabella."

I turned back to mum (her name was Jean) tears had been rising in her eyes and while she couldn't speak. She just nodded, over and over again and looked to me. I was happy of course- but still I couldn't help but frown.

"What's wrong Bells?" Lenny asked me. "Don't you like it? Don't you want us to put your name in the middle of all of it? You look so distressed. And don't tell me it's nothing because I know you too well to believe that."

"I…." I hesitated, to have my niece named after me would be the greatest honor and despite my words I would hate them changing it. "It's just that. She… Leah won't have any name only for her own. Shouldn't she have at least one? I mean Leah comes from Lenny and Shauna. Jeanie from mum and Isabella from me. What if she feels like she has to live up to something? She won't have any name of her own."

"That's it though." Shauna explained. "She will have all of those names of her own. Her very own name all made out of people's names. People who love her very much and… then all she has to do is… be herself and we will all love her for it… Only because she is… Leah Jeanie Isabella."

"Butler Jolie?"

"No Lenny. No please, not Butler. Do you know how many times people have called me servant and waitress and stuff like that? I know that's what Butler actually means but… I am not putting that curse on another child. Besides with both last names it is awfully long. So… Leah Jeanie Isabella Jolie it is."

"You know, one can make Billy a girl's name too?"

"Oh…" Having dropped the slight smile that had just been on his lips Lenny looked up and turned to dad. "Well. That was awkward but… I think Leah Jeanie Isabella is enough for one name dad." Dad pouted slightly. "Don't be such a baby."

Lenny turned back. There was obviously something he could see in the way he looked towards Shauna's belly. Then the slight, half smile he had been wearing slowly grew back at the exact same time that he couldn't hold back a couple of sobs and tears started rolling down his cheeks. Mum moved over and sat down next to Lenny on the arm support next to Shauna and laid her palm against Lenny's back.

"It's okay sweetheart. It's okay to cry."

"No it's not. Soldiers doesn't cry Lenny."

"Shush." Lenny said back without taking his eyes of Shauna's belly. "You're only grumpy because we're not naming her Billy." He wiped more tears and mum handed him a tissue. "And if so, then this soldier cries."

For some reason and in some way Lenny stopped crying. But tears were still shining in his eyes as he rubbed Shauna's patterned shirt as if he could feel the baby- well, little Leah beneath it. And tears shining in Shauna's eyes when she looked down on him staring at her stomach.

"I can only speak for myself." I started saying at last. "But… This year is almost over, the school year. Not the whole year. And this year has definitely been… eventful. Shauna and Lenny getting pregnant, mum in that car crash, Daniel, Seth and Charlotte. We finally found out who it was dad hit with his car that day… And it hurt. It did, and so did a lot this year. For me and for all of you but… I don't know what you think."

"Just get to the point and say what you mean Bells."

"I would do it all again."

Benjamin POV

"Isn't it hard to imagine that this is one of the last themes in the glee club for this year?" Dakota asked me while we were on our way to the choir room after last class on Tuesday. "I mean, after everything and all the rehearsals, all songs that have been made and all these dance moves we have learnt."

"Not all of us." I couldn't help but say when I saw the boy walking in front of us. "Daniel haven't been able to learn to make a single move right." I was speaking excessively loud to make sure he heard us, then waited for a second and breathed out when Daniel turned around and jokingly glared at me.

"I'm not that bad of a dancer anymore." He muttered, pretending to be hurt. "At least that depends on what you compare to."

"Sure it does." Dakota joked. "You're probably not that bad if we compare to a rhino or a hippopotamus."

Daniel tried to glare at Dakota but didn't succeed when he couldn't help but laughing and jokingly slapped the back of Dakota's head. It wasn't near hard enough for it to hurt and Daniel only barely touched Dakota's hair. Still Dakota dramatically put his hands on the back of his head and howled like a little child.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW." He howled making everybody turn and watch while we three walked into the choir room just after Mr. Blaine had put his bag down on the piano. "MR. BLAAAAAINE." Mr. Blaine only calmly raised an eyebrow while Dakota howled again and faked crying. "DANNY HURT ME."

Dakota had to force himself not to start laughing and blow his own cover. Mr. Blaine just shook his head and turned to Daniel "Danny."

"Good job."

Dakota couldn't hold it as Mr. Blaine praised Daniel for "hurting" him. He threw his head backwards and laughed so maybe there was someone on the moon who didn't hear him. And then slumped down in a chair next to me while Mr. Blaine, with a smirk waited for Dakota to silent (it took a while) before he started telling us about what today would be about.

And watching Dakota where he had leaned against my shoulder, with all the laughing he couldn't keep upright. It flashed in my mind about when he had kissed me when we won regionals. But for now it just flashed by, and I could barely remember how we hadn't even talked to each other for weeks afterwards.

Dakota was my best friend, and when he sat up and wiped the tears of laughter I knew more than ever how lucky I was to have found him and have him in my life. Even when it was only about being friends.

"Well my fellow soldiers." Mr. Blaine said at last. "Yesterday, as you know. Christie and Charlotte both did their audition songs. That they, almost a year ago did in my living room. Now most of you auditioned in the auditorium. And we'll go there in just a little while. From when we go there the first one who auditioned in the fall will be the first one to do her audition song today. And we'll go in the same order so I hope we can remember what it was. But for now, Martina, Daniel, Benjamin. You'll just have to fight about who goes first."

"I don't mind." I, Daniel and Martina looked to each other. "I'll go last. You can make up who goes first or second."

"Ladies first?"

"But I don't want to go first. And I wouldn't actually call Martina Kessler a lady."

"Should I go first then?"

"No, no, no." Obviously, after her and Daniel's somewhat wild discussion Martina changed her mind. "I want to go first." Daniel was on his way to stand up but before he had the time Martina flew to her feet. "I might just as well get this over with."

Martina seemed nervous. Looking from Kayla, to Mr. Dom, to Mr. Jonas, to Wil and then turned and glanced over the whole glee club and Mr. Blaine. I could see she was looking at Daniel for a second longer than the rest of us. And only in the corner of my eye could I see Daniel nodding as if he gave her permission to do something.

They were most definitely up to something. They were best friends after all. But for once, none of them had the look of someone playing pranks on each other. They were just all serious but still definitely knowing something the rest of us didn't. And at last, after waiting for what must have at least been half a minute Martina took a deep and I couldn't help but notice- shakily nervous breath before she started talking.

"At the beginning of this year I was questioning a lot of things… I was questioning where I would be at the end of this year and if I'd find a… partner. Even a friend like I found a best friend in Daniel and a good friend in each and every one of you. I questioned if I would be good enough for the glee club and whether my crush liked me back… And then more than anything I was questioning what people would think if they knew I was…" Martina paused, I had a good thought about what was coming next "…If they knew that I was gay."

Well, I was right. Perfect gaydar!

Martina silent after the second when she came out to us and looked around for a second. A bit nervously as if she expected to be thrown out of the glee club, the school and the whole town and continent of America for what she had just said.

"Well. You're very welcome to join myself, Benjamin, Bradon and Mr. Blaine in the club of outed homosexuals"

I suppressed a sigh. My best friend who would always be the one to make it all about him. Still, I wouldn't think Martina would have wanted anyone to because her shoulders slumped in a relaxed move and when she spoke again it was louder and more confident than thirty seconds ago.

"And questioning whether the girl I was crushing on… I could have never guessed. Well, I could have guessed that she didn't like me back since she was… well actually she still is straight. And when I found out, I was… well, kind of heartbroken. And I was questioning whether I'd ever have the chance of meeting a… girl… who made all the words of this song right. Who I could sing it too and… saw in me what I couldn't see myself... Now, most of you weren't there for my audition in difference for you who auditioned in the audiotourium. But I guess… I'm happy that I can show you this today. Because I just want to shout to the whole world that I did. And… Well… That's it really. I'll just get to the song."

At the moment, about thirty seconds ago when Martina had come out of us it was like something in her had run off. And something new had taken its place. Martina had never exactly had problems with her confidence as far as I could tell. But there was something new over her confidence, as if she wasn't afraid of anything.

There was something in every move, in every note, in every word of the song there was something. Something new, and while she got on with the song and towards the end I couldn't help but smile. And I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one even though I couldn't take my eyes off Martina to look around.

"Tell us then…" Dakota asked as soon as Martina had finished her song with a smile and a round of applause. "…Who is the lucky one who gets to see all the good parts about the one and only Martina Kessler?"

"Actually…" Martina bit her lip and hesitated. "…I would tell you. But she's… closeted and we kind of promised each other we wouldn't tell anyone about all of it before we have both… come out. At least to our family and friends and… well. I came out to my dad during last winter. And you guys are my friends so one down… one to go. But I don't want to go to anyone, not to dad and not start rumors that might out her just like that before she's taken the decision to do it herself."

"Well said Martina." Mr. Blaine clapped his hands slightly. "Now, let me see if your song is as good as I remember it." Martina nodded slightly, then turned to Mr. Dom who placed his left hand on a chord and started playing on his guitar.

During the first part of the song Martina's country voice and Mr. Dom's acoustic guitar made perfect sound. Then as the second part of the song, a bridge towards the first refrain started Wil on the drums joined too and to the refrain Mr. Jonas started on his harmonica.

And while singing a smile grew on Martina's lips. I couldn't help but think that her smile might not have been as big at the moment she auditioned. Or it wouldn't have been if she hadn't just come out and known nobody in here would discriminate her or insult her for it. And if possible the smile grew bigger and bigger all through the song while it reached across her face from ear to ear.

Meanwhile I couldn't feel but to feel a smile forming on my lips. How couldn't I feel happy hearing that one of my friends had found someone of the kind that the song was about?

"Well done Martina." Mr. Blaine held up his hand and Martina high-fived her on her way back to her chair when she had finished. "That was amazing when you showed us the first time months ago. Now it was… well… amazing-er. You are amazing and don't ever doubt that. So now… Daniel. Are you next?"

"I am next." Daniel had brought his own guitar and while stepping down onto the open floor pulled the shoulder strap around his shoulders and hung the guitar towards his back before he turned back to the rest of us. "As some of you might remember I was in the auditorium for the auditions when… I was accused of having gone through Esme's bag. It was later noticed that she had a hole in her bag, the book she had fell out and that was what I picked up to later to give to her so she didn't lose it." Esme moaned. "But luckily. A couple of hours or so later Mr. Hummel walked past me in the gym playing some basketball and he asked me for the truth. He let me try again when I absolutely promised I didn't touch anyone's bag. Which I hadn't. And this was the song I did to finally audition."

"Did you have to remind me of all of that?" Esme moaned while Daniel took a grip of his guitar having pulled the shoulder strap over his head. "It's embarrassing."

Daniel just gave a short chuckle and shook his head slightly as if he couldn't have cared less before he started playing. Then suddenly he stopped after just one second and smiled in a dreaming way towards Belle.

"At the beginning of the year this was just another song that I knew and liked. And it had a fun guitar riff. And… like Martina just… she has a person that suits the lyrics she sang and I…" Daniel hung the guitar on his back and walked over to Belle. Then kneeled and kissed her, took her hands and didn't continue for another few seconds. When he was still close to his girlfriend. "I have got someone too."

"Aw." Martina teased them. "Well, aren't you two the cutest? Now come on. Get to the song before I barf!"

It was a good thing Daniel and Martina were best friend. Daniel didn't even blush like most others would have done being told something like that. He just laughed, took his guitar, stood up and backed out onto the open floor still looking to his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry." He looked towards the band. "But if it's okay I'd like to play this song myself." The band members all nodded and either put away their instruments or laid their palms towards their legs. "Thank you." Daniel took another breath, and then took the first chord of the song on his guitar.

Daniel was too smiling during his whole performance, even though he had to look away from Belle and let his vision gaze over the rest of the group not to creepily look at her for three minutes straight. And for his performance too I couldn't help but smile back. And I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one.

Except maybe Lea-Marie. For a split second I discreetly turned my head. I just needed to know something and I was right. We all knew Lea-Marie was in love with Daniel and jealous as few of Belle Jolie. And all of the side we had seen of Lea-Marie last week seemed gone. She glanced at Belle as if she wanted to rip her head off for having the boyfriend she wanted for herself.

And that was exactly the one who we as good as could see his eyes shaped like hearts like in a cartoon looking

"Well done Daniel." We all clapped our hands for Daniel once he finished his song and bowed to us. "Unless you want to do the song that I saw you playing when you were standing in the auditorium in the beginning of the year. After all, that was the song that gave me the idea to start up Finn's army."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The dry and quite rude tone in Daniel's voice told all of us how he much he "didn't know" what Mr. Blaine was talking about. And he knew exactly. I couldn't help but to feel curious- what song had given the idea to what we all had gone through this year?

"Can you just tell me what song it was then? It was something "I just still can't believe you're gone. Because I don't want to believe you're gone" Daniel raised an eyebrow at Mr. Blaine while he slumped down in the chair next to Belle. "Who was it then? You're very musical and talented, and not less unknown twin brother?"

"Very funny." Daniel said dryly. "Really. I don't know what you're talking about. I have never heard a song with those lyrics." Before Mr. Blaine had the time to say anything else Daniel turned to me. "You're turned to play Benjamin. I can't wait to see this."

"Hold on a minute." With a deep sigh Mr. Blaine got up and seemed to let go of what Daniel had said, at least for now. "I just want to say something first. As you know, yesterday we listened to the ones who made their auditions in my living room as you know. Even though there was one more who did it there. And that is you, Benjamin. But I decided that Benjamin should do it here because he had never gotten to do that if I hadn't walked by here. When he was here, with Mady sitting right by him. Singing beautifully to his little sister. And what would we have done without our little mascot here this year. Right guys?" Mr. Blaine looked around and suddenly frowned. "But… Where's Mady? Benjamin? She's not ill or hurt or anything is she?"

"She's not ill or hurt or anything. She's on some school trip for the day with her class and…"

"And my cousin Wil who goes to the same class was so excited. So with Mady being Mady I can imagine she was too." I nodded. "I want to go on a day trip like that too. Mr. Blaine, can't we go on a day trip someday? We'd have loads of fun."

"I'm not sure we'd have time for that. Next week we'll start rehearsing for nationals as you know. But it's a shame we didn't think about that at the beginning of the year. It would have been a great thing to do to get to know each other. However, that's it about that now and… off you go. Benjamin Heedie."

The rest of the soldiers clapped their hands while I got up, turned around and stood in front of them. I glanced towards the band who had all grabbed their instruments after Daniel was finished and for a moment I hesitated. But no- this was my performance and I knew how I wanted to do it.

"I hate to disappoint you. But I'd actually like to do this myself. I know…" I couldn't help but to chuckle slightly. "I know only a handful of songs on piano but… I do know this one. My own kind of version of this song and that's the one I did for my sister when Mr. Blaine heard us. So I'd like to do this myself. If that's okay."

"That is okay." Mr. Dom said and put down the guitar he had just picked up again. "I can't wait to see this. And hear of course."

I nodded slightly at them before going to the piano and sitting down on the stool, placing my hands on the keys and then starting the song. For a second I was scared I might have forgotten where the right keys on the piano were. But as soon as I had played the first key and stopped thinking about it my fingers were moving by themselves and I could concentrate on the lyrics.

While playing I still couldn't help to glance down towards the empty space on the piano stool next to me. There was something missing and we all knew about it. Doing this song I wanted to have my sister sitting next to me and it only felt wrong doing this song without her here.

It felt so long ago since I had been sitting on this one piano chair by this one piano playing it to Mady. It felt as it must all have been meant to be because as one word by the other slipped from my throat and lips. All of me was filled up yet one memory after the other of this whole year.

Towards the end of the song I looked away from the piano and tried to ignore the thought about Mady not being here. I had it in my fingers anyway, and I glanced slightly to my side where Mady was sitting when I played it here the last time. And where she would have been sitting now if she wasn't away with her class.

And it was when I looked up, gazing over the soldiers of Finn's army that I finally saw it.

Finally saw him!

Well, we had met each other at the beginning of the year and had been best friends since so I had seen him loads of times. But during the split second I could let my vision rest on Dakota Lopez I just finally saw him.

You don't know you're beautiful

More like "I didn't know you're beautiful" because I had seen Dakota as good as every day the last eight and a half months. And there was so much that I had missed during these months that I only saw now during a split second.

It was nothing short of a miracle that I got through the end of the song. I heard nothing, saw nothing. Barely even felt the piano keys underneath the pale white skin on my fingers. All I could see and hear was right in front of me. And it was not when the soldiers of Finn's army put their hands together for me, and it was not when I barely even heard Mr. Blaine calling out for us to go to the auditorium.

It wasn't even when everybody else started getting up, grabbing their bags and walked out of the room. A couple of them even patting my shoulder on their way towards the door and comments about the song that I had done.

All I saw was my dark haired best friend who hadn't, during all the while we stared at each other- moved a single inch.

Then finally he moved, grabbed his bag, stood up and came and sat down next to me. And before I knew it he had leaned forward, and so close that his lips finally reached mine as he kissed me- and I kissed him back.

And there was something different about this time and the time Dakota had kissed me when we won regionals. That time had been just sudden, and awkward and I would have never thought I could even talk to Dakota again.

Well, this part didn't take any talking anyway. It just took Dakota's smooth lips against mine. His dark fringe only barely touching my blonde and my heart beating crazily like never before.

And this time I knew, that this was the way it was supposed to be.

Until Dakota leaned back and his lips pulled away from mine felt like a second as much as it felt like an hour. Then afterwards I might just as well have died of a heart attack while we stared into each other's eyes for a second or a year before I finally came up with something to say.

"We should go with them into the auditorium. They might want you to get up right away."

"We should…" Dakota said hesitatingly. "Didn't Mr. Blaine just say that this will be done in the same order as on the actual auditions? That would mean that… I think Lea-Marie will go first… Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does because she threw a tantrum when Mr. Blaine originally picked Jasper and Evie to go first. I remember that now."

"I just don't want to let go only yet."

Dakota smirked, leaned forward and kissed me quickly before he took my hand and wrapped his fingers in between mine before we walked together out of the choir room and down the hallway, and stopped for a moment outside the auditorium.

"Should we show them?" Dakota looked down on our hands, still wrapped together tightly. "I think maybe we should wait a while."

"We should probably wait a while." I let go of his hand. "You're right. I'm not ashamed but…"

"I know."

Standing a yard or two away we finally walked into the auditorium where Mr. Blaine was standing on the stage and the band were getting their instruments sorted out.

"There you are, you two." Mr. Blaine said when we came in and walked down the stairs to get to the seats. We sat down in the back where nobody would be able to see us holding hands if we did again. Now, we'll take this in the same order as we did on audition day so you're up first Lea-Marie. Can you let us know why you decided on this song?"

"I don't know. It's my favorite song from my favorite musical." Lea-Marie walked up on the stage and took the microphone stand and lowered it to match her height. "And it suited my voice and here I was."

"Fair enough." Mr. Blaine nodded. "Now." He leaned back into his seat. "Start whenever you're ready."

I leaned back myself and waited for Lea-Marie to do something that would be special. Something Lea-Marie like taking her hoodie off to reveal a crop top barely more than a bra. To show off moves enough for a stripper at a pub or pull up her shorts so to the point we would almost be able to see her underwear behind them.

Except she didn't do anything like that. She just stood there, on the middle of the stage with a microphone stand that held the microphone in front of her mouth. Her hands deeply pushed into the pockets of either side of the zipper across the black, simple hoodie as if she wanted to hide as much as possible.

"I'd think the reason was more about all of the high notes gave her a reason to show off." Dakota whispered in my ear while the song started. Only barely loud enough for me to hear over the music but quietly enough for nobody else to hear. "Lea-Marie is… well, Lea-Marie."

"And will so always be." I agreed. "But shut up now. I want to listen to this."

Soon she pulled her hands out of her pockets and laid one towards the microphone stand while she let the other arm hang relaxed along her side. Shivers ran through my spine while she hit every note right and the music was everything in the world.

"I can't help to feel sorry for her you know." Dakota leaned back towards me and whispered into my ear towards the end of the song. "She got herself this image of being so strong and not caring about anyone else but really she does. Just like we all do. And this song… I think she just wants to have someone."

"I know." I whispered back to him. "I can see it too."

And then, as the notes grew higher and bigger I suddenly noticed something that had been there only last week. As the song ended it was just that- she looked so small. With that big voice and that huge personality of hers she looked so unbelievable tiny and alone.

"We should think about doing something for her before the summer holidays. Shouldn't we? Something for her and only her."

As the song ended and the last tone rang out we clapped our hands. But I couldn't help that the applause didn't seem as full or as loud as for the others. Had it always been like this?

"You're right." I whispered back to Dakota at last. "But it could be hard. I'm Horrid Heedie, remember?"

"Think about it a little…"

"Can you guys just shut up?" We suddenly got from right ahead of us and Christie. "I can't hear what you're saying but we can all hear you whispering. And this is really annoying so either talk out loud and let us all hear or just cut it out."

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

I and Dakota apologized at the exact same time with the same word. Then both turned towards the stage and leaned back in each chair. Not until now I noticed some of the others had turned to us, obviously having heard us whispering.

"Well." Mr. Blaine started. "If these two are done we can get back to you Lea-Marie. And that was amazing. That song was just perfect for your voice. It was good when you did the audition but now, now… It was amazing. But now, I remember that at the day at the auditions you left right after doing yours. Would you like to do that now or do you want to stay and watch the others too?"

"I guess I'd like to stay."

Without a look towards the band who had helped her with the performance, with her head held high and long steps she walked towards the stairs. Still looking towards the audience as if she wanted another round of applause.

"Well then. Feel free to sit wherever you want. Jasper, you're next. Did you bring the one you auditioned with? Oh there she is." Mr. Blaine waved to Evie Birch who sat a few stairs up from us. "Hey Evie. Nice to see you. Will you be coming down to the stage and let us hear your beautiful voice?"

"Actually no." Jasper was just stepping up on the stage. "As most of you remember I made the audition along with my sister Evie. And while we both made it into the glee club. She later chose not to be a part of it. And I don't think… Well. I asked Evie yesterday if she wanted to come and preform this with me today… And she answered that she didn't. Even though she wanted to be here and watch me do it… I don't think I actually realized why she didn't become a part of Finn's army." Jasper smiled up towards Evie. "For why she did it I'm very grateful."

Jasper rose the microphone stand to his height and the band started playing. Then when he took the microphone and started singing. In more of a confident and fun way than what Lea-Marie just had.

It wasn't until the refrain that Jasper let go of the microphone. But with every note he moved his hand to the rhythm and the lyrics, still he didn't move from where he stood and in every move. In every part of his body was confidence that I wouldn't think anyone of us had seen in Jasper Finley Birch before.

And I would think I spoke for everyone when I said that it was great to watch.

At the last line of the song Jasper took the microphone from the stand and took a few steps forward to the very edge of the stage. As the instruments silent, to the very last tone where Kayla hit a tone on the piano.

Evie cheered the loudest of us all when Jasper lowered the microphone from his mouth, then took a few steps backwards and put the microphone back in the stand. I could see he was trying to ignore the pride in him. But you'd have to be practically blind not to see it in the smile on his face when he looked up towards us and the rest of the audience.

"Way to go Jazz." Mr. Blaine said at last when everybody's, including Evie's clapping and cheering had rang out. "I would never have expected this nine months ago. I'm so happy for you. You're so strong, so independent, so confident and wow Jasper. Evie?" Mr. Blaine turned to the older of the Birch's again. "Do you have anything to say to your brother or do you just want to leave?" Evie stood up and pulled the shoulder strap of her bag over her shoulder.

"I'm going to leave." Evie said out loud. "But I just want to say… I just want to say…. I love you Jazz." Jasper smiled slightly but didn't make any intention to leave the stage and walk up to her in the stairs. "And that's the only thing that felt important to say right now. And Mr. Blaine's right. None of us would have expected this nine months ago." She glanced over the group. "I have to go now. See you at home Jazz."

"I LOVE YOU TOO EVES." Jasper shouted before Evie was out of the room. "AND BEFORE YOU ASK. THEN I AM GOING TO CALL YOU EVES AS LONG AS YOU STILL CALL ME JAZZ. I know at the auditions…" He turned to the glee club again. "Lea-Marie was first, and then it was me and Evie. Then you Mr. Blaine and Kurt, Burt and Carole did this thing where you just chose each name so I don't actually remember who was next. I was just so happy I even got through the performance at all and even more for my sister. So I didn't notice much after that."

"That is perfectly alright." Mr. Blaine took over. "I remember. Kurt chose one first and that was Keagan. KEAGAN you're next up. This is fun, if someone has business to do afterwards and needs us to quit early then tell me because I could go on forever. Keagan Spencer everybody."

As for everybody else we gave Keagan a round of applause while he moved towards the stage. And the hardest clapping and loudest cheering came from nobody else than himself.

"Why are none of you clapping as much for me as I am clapping for me?" Keagan whined into the microphone as soon as he was up on the stage and then dramatically pretended to cry. "Nobody loves me more than I do myself."

There were a few spread laughter's spread in the group over Keagan's faked drama.

"Okay." Keagan dried the fake tears. "If that's just the way it is I can't do anything about it. But I'd like to say something first." Keagan took the microphone from the stand. "I guess I… I just want to thank you guys. Mr. Blaine and Bradon and Benjamin and Belle and oh my God. I never thought about it but there are so many B's. There are… four of us whose names begin with a B. Have any of you noticed that?"

Keagan looked over the group as if he expected to get another round of applause from noticing what letters our names began with.

"I never thought about that." Mr. Blaine said at last after some thinking. "But actually, you're right. Myself and three of you guys. But come on. I wanted to hear what you were saying." His voice turned into quiet a whiny tone- as from a little kid. "Come on, come on, come on."

Keagan glared at Mr. Blaine for his excitement. Mr. Blaine started pleading jokingly with his hands together and we all knew that our Keagan only wanted to tease and joke with him

"Well. If you love me now." Keagan smirked again but then continued finally. "I have known my whole life that I am a boy. Of course people have always wanted to question that and I have questioned too during short whiles. But I have lived as a boy since I was little, and since I started kindergarten. And it is two thousand freaking nineteen but still people do. And there are very few places like the stables or at home where I can feel I am only me. Not girl or boy or bi-and-transsexual. I could just be me. And even though I told people… none of you started asking about how I knew or if I want surgery or what I am going to do. I was just me. And that has been worth more than any kind of money or gold to me. So I just wanted… after a million words… I just wanted to say thank you. Thanks."

"I think I'm talking for everybody when I say Keagan that…" Mr. Blaine looked back and glanced over the group. "We are all honored and very happy that we have been able to help you. And at least I am happy for you that you have felt good about all of this… now. Start that song. I want to see and hear you doing it."

Keagan chuckled at Mr. Blaine's eagerness and looked back towards the band who started playing. As Keagan then started singing.

Keagan's song was…

"A ballad." I whispered to Dakota by my side. "Why does everybody keep on doing ballads for their auditions? I know Martina had a country song and this one is pop too but they are both kind of ballads. Why does everybody choose ballads for their auditions?" Dakota just shrugged. "Even I had a song that usually isn't a ballad but I changed into one. Did you use one? I don't think you ever told me what song you auditioned with."

"No I didn't do a ballad. You'll have to wait and see until I do mine. Now shut up. I want to watch this."

I nodded and turned with Dakota to watch Keagan. Who, despite holding onto the microphone with one hand at all times was moving over the stage and dancing and it just seemed perfectly… perfectly… perfectly Keagan. Really!

"Wow. That was great." Mr. Blaine shouted while Keagan had finished and we gave him a round of applause. "That was awesome. And you always have such energy and I just wanted to get up there and dance with you. Now I think we have time for one more today so… Bradon?"

Bradon got up and high-fived his best friend on his way down towards the stage. How many high fives had there been on today's rehearsal actually? More than on any other at least. As Bradon got down on the stage and then turned to us before he started explaining like us others had done.

What was it with Lea-Marie by the way? Why wasn't she moaning and complaining about too long speeches?

"My favorite memory from auditioning is from when I had finished and Carole told me that if Finn had been there to watch it she thought that he would have been proud of me. That was just… It felt amazing. And I don't think I had ever joined the glee club if I hadn't known that the New Directions helped Finn in the ways that it did. And you all know, well. Whether you knew him by person or not. Then you know Finn is… isn't with us anymore. And some believes that there is something after this. And some of us do not. I'm not too sure what I think but…One theory I always liked is that we die we go to heaven and then we are up there and lit up the stars every night. I'm not sure if I believe it or not but I just like that idea. And this song is… Well. I guess it is about being in love and such. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't in love with Finn haha. But he was the only one that I have known and been somewhat close to that have ever… died. And he wasn't the reason I chose this song. It's just a great song that I think suits my voice but… I did think about him when I stood here the last time and did this song."

At last Bradon looked back and nodded towards Kayla, Mr. Dom and Mr. Jonas before he turned to the microphone put in the microphone stand and the song started.

Bradon stood absolutely still all through the first verse of his song. And not during the refrain he moved at all- then started moving only his hands to the rhythm. And continued with only his hands moving through the rest of the song.

Some critics might have called it boring. But it was beautiful, suited the song perfectly and sent shivers through my spine like nothing else.

And in his voice and the way he stood almost absolutely still there was something confident. Something strong and made him seem like he was ready and had the world ahead of his feet.

I couldn't help but notice he seemed to get a bigger round of applause than anybody else had gotten so far. Not that I was jealous, he was a great guy and had been a great add to our glee club all year. And when he started talking again I already had a feeling that was what he was going to say something about.

"I never really got why Finn had been helped by his New Directions so much. I knew it was a great club and fun with singing and with great people and he found Rachel and everything. But I don't think I've ever surely known what helped him so much until know. Because like New Directions helped Finn, and I guess Finn had more than what he knew himself to do with that. Then Finn's army helped me and I guess- I mean, come on. We've even got his name in our title."

"And that title is thanks to you Bradon." Mr. Blaine shouted. "You were the one who came up with the name Finn's army, remember? Come on guys." He turned to the rest of us. "Another round of applause for Bradon. For coming up with our perfect name."

This time the round of applause was definitely louder than what it had been any time before.

Bradon blushed where he stood and smiled slightly while everybody started getting onto their feet. More because this was the end of today's rehearsal than to give Bradon a standing ovation. But still maybe a bit for both.

"As you know, as usual the next rehearsal is after last class on Thursday. We won't have quite as many songs then. But then later on I'm going to have to keep you there for a minute because there's something I have to tell you about. See you then."

"Did you hear how suddenly Mr. Blaine sounded all distressed and sad when he said he had something to tell us?"

I and Dakota had walked in silence most of the way home and it wasn't until we turned up on our street Dakota asked that one question. I had noticed, yeah I had.

"Yeah. But I guess we'll find out on Thursday. So I wouldn't worry too much." We walked up on our driveway and I reached for Dakota's hand with mine. "But to what is today… Now it's us, yeah? Should we tell them?"

"Now it's us." Dakota confirmed. "They might as well know right away. We kind of live in the same house so they're going to find out." Dakota nodded and walked before me into the house. "HELLO-oh?"

And then, as if they hadn't heard us coming. There were two people in the hallway. Standing close, their foreheads touching each other's, the man's with dark curls falling over it and the woman with long, blonde hair that he was trying to push away from her eyes with his fingertips.

"Mum?"

"Dad?"

"Benjamin?"

"Dakota?"

For a minute, or two, or ten I, Dakota, mum and Alejandro only stood and stared back and towards each other. Mum and Alejandro on Dakota and I's hands wrapped together and we on the way they still stood so close to each other.

"Well." Dakota said at last. "I thought you two seemed like more than just like two friends living under the same roof together."

Alejandro and mum looked to each other and then took each other's hands like I and Dakota were before they looked back at us and Alejandro finally said something.

"We were going to tell you soon anyway. But be kind and don't tell any of your brothers or Mady yet." Once again they looked towards my and Benjamin's hands. "And we will be quiet about you two." Alejandro smirked slightly. "Well FINALLY."

I couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow and still holding onto Benjamin's hand turned. He seemed just as confused as I felt and I let go, raised my hands and in confusion scratched my head while I realized I couldn't figure what he meant and had to ask.

"What do you mean finally?"

"You two were supposed to be a couple from the moment you met. It was just that the only two people who didn't get that were the two of you."

"Really?"

"Really?"

I and Dakota had asked the exact same at the same moment. Then we laughed slightly, looked back to each other and I started backing towards the hallway towards our room while nobody of us seemed to know what to say.

"We'll go to our room then…" I nodded and walked after Dakota who started back towards our room. "We'll have to take some time to process… what we just saw. Yeah. We do. But we won't tell Mady… Or anyone. You just wait…" We turned and could hear Alejandro chuckle when we moved towards our room. "I never really… they're a couple. And so… we are and…" I didn't even know what to say. Then I couldn't help but see Dakota smirk just as we walked into our room and I couldn't help but to almost fear what he was about to do when suddenly he shouted back. "AT LEAST YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ONE OF US GETTING UNEXPECTEDLY PREGNANT." While Dakota shouted that last and only laughed I could feel my cheeks burning red and Dakota laughed even more. "What? It's the perks of being gay. Well…" With a frown Dakota turned to me having closed the door to his room behind me. "My dad and your mum are a couple? Huh? I did not see that one coming. But… I guess things just happens."

I nodded, then for a second didn't feel like answering anything at all while I at first walked over to the window and only stared down towards the trees in the garden for a bit while I heard Dakota throw his bag on the bed and then packing up the things he had taken with him from school.

"Ugh. I hate homework… Hello-oh. Earth to Benjamin Bo Heedie."

"What?" I turned towards the room and Dakota again. "Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking… You know. A lot of things just happened this year. Remember in the beginning of the year, that first time we met. And you opened a door and hit it right in my face? And you absolutely freaked out that I had a nosebleed?"

"…And at that moment Rocky was all gone."

"And then you walked into my locker and then you had a nosebleed… wait… Rocky? Rocky who?"

I would have thought after all of this time spent together Benjamin would know just as much about Rocky as I did myself. If not more, he should have been there showing on the outside.

"Rocky is kind of my alter ego. He's kind of rude really. And doesn't care what anyone thinks he just… says whatever he thinks. When I was little and was being angry for the stupidest things Santana would call me Rocky so… that made it two people in me. Rocky and Dakota. And that first time we met seeing you… I was just wondering where Rocky was because Rocky would know exactly what to say and not being afraid of saying it. But I never met him again and after a while I stopped questioning when he'd come back and waiting for him to. And I am only Dakota."

And you're the Dakota that I love so very much.

I didn't say it out loud, but could feel my lips moving into a slight smile while I remembered back through the past months and remembered as much as possible. Dakota didn't say anything more about Rocky, and it might have been half an hour or even an hour before I could finally come up with the right to say.

"And with the glee club. All of the songs, all of the dancing…. All of us and all of those different personalities. And… just everything. Heck, two of the glee club members almost died this year. First Charlotte in that car crash and then Christie before she had a kidney transplant. And…. Oh…" I had to silent when I was hit by one of my clearest and most emotional memories from a glee club rehearsal. "Like how Lea-Marie told Mady that our dad was… well, you know. That he wasn't going to come back."

I sighed. Before Lea-Marie had told Mady about it I had worried about twenty four seven about what to say the next time Mady asked where dad was and when he'd come back. Then more about what would happen what I would tell her at last. Sooner or later I would have to tell her the truth and the more I lied the bigger the knot in my stomach grew.

"And boy were you furious when Mr. Blaine let her back on the glee club after being suspended?"

"I was." I couldn't help but snort. "And I never thought I would be able to forgive either Mr. Blaine or Lea-Marie. But there I was one day and suddenly realized that I am not a resentful person." I leaned back. "And Lea-Marie… Well. She's fighting her own battles. With her mum and whatever got her running away to Italy before the fall holiday… And if something would make us see that it was her doing my heart will go on for her mum last Friday. So no, I'm not angry and I don't want to be neither. The only one I am angry at in that whole story is myself. I should have told Mady the truth long before Lea-Marie or anybody else got the chance."

I laid down on my covers and laid the back of my hand towards my forehead. Staring silently into the ceiling I could hear Dakota doing the same on his side of the room. And then we might have laid like that on each side of the room for I don't know. A minute, an hour, a year?

"Yeah." I had to continue at last. "This has been a hard year. But some parts of the year has just been so… They just went by way too quick and easily. And all of the songs and dances and…"

"And all of those lies that got revealed. For you when Lea-Marie told Mady about your dad. And for me when I found that scrapbook and finally found out about my mum. And you hated Lea-Marie for telling Mady and I hated dad and my brothers for not telling me… I never thought it would get better. Not after all of that. You must have felt so too at some point. Actually, most of us in the glee club must have. Christie with her kidneys, Jasper with his sister, Sharon being pregnant and then Oliver being stillborn. And upon that everybody are fighting their own battles that we know nothing about."

"Yeah."

"This was a hard year."

Between any of us saying something there were long moments with no words at all and we just laid there on each side of the room staring into the ceiling or whatever Dakota was doing. He was just as silent as I was anyway, and despite my mum's and Alejandro's voices in the living room. Muffled by the walls in between us everything seemed silent.

"It was." I agreed at last to say anything. "It really was."

"Yeah."

I turned my head and watched Dakota where he laid on his bed. He must have felt me watching him because he turned to and even on the distance in between us. When his hazel eyes met my blue I could feel something squeeze my heart and go through my whole body.

And I knew it more than ever.

"I would do it all again."

Keagan POV

"I wonder what it was Mr. Blaine wanted to tell us about." Bradon questioned when we were on our way to the auditorium on Thursday afternoon. "Do you remember he told us that he had something to tell us today when we ended on Tuesday?"

"If I do. It's everything I thought about since then. And, as you know. Everything we have talked about too."

"I know. I know. It's just…" We walked into the auditorium and stopped at the top of the stairs. I could see Bradon glance over the whole room. "I just have such a bad feeling that something's up and that it's not any good."

"You are such a worrier Bradon Fredericks." I moaned way too dramatically. "Well, we're about to start now." Without waiting for my best friend I started walking down the stairs and could hear him follow after me. Until I turned and walked past some chairs and sat down a few chairs away from Seth and Charlotte.

"Hey guys." I greeted happily. Charlotte nodded back to me, but Seth didn't react. "Hey Seth? Seth? Are you in there? SETH?"

"What?"

At last when I shouted his name Seth flinched and turned to me. But of course, even after reacting he seemed weirdly nervous and everything but concentrated. As if there was anything on his mind except for the glee club.

"You're doing your audition song today. But come on. You can't be that nervous. You did this song once before and this time the rest of the year isn't depending on how you do now." Seth looked away from me. But I could still see him rolling his eyes at me. "Come on buddy. Relax a bit. You're so tense I bet you'll snap and break in half if you don't."

Seth only glared back at me. I shrugged and then turned down towards the stage as Mr. Blaine came walking from behind the curtains. He was a couple of minutes late, so all of us and the whole band were already here and were ready for when Mr. Blaine started talking.

"Well, hello fellow soldiers." He said with a smile- but I couldn't help to notice it looked nervous and forced. "I guess we'll just get started. If I can remember this correctly, then Charlotte. You're up first. You can come up here but there's something I have to say first."

I and Bradon looked to each other and without a word Bradon nodded slightly. Whatever it was Mr. Blaine would want to tell us then I bet this was when we'd find out. And even though it had only been a short couple of days since he said he had something to tell us. I sat up straight and leaned forward as if I had waited my whole life for what it was he had to say.

"There is one thing I do feel very bad for doing during the audition day. And I do remember it because I've kind of felt bad for never even apologizing for it. Charlotte, when you got up to do your audition. You and even your voice seemed so tiny and when you chose to do such a big song. Wow… I am so sorry for not believing in you and grimacing like I did. I am so sorry it made you even more nervous and…. It's okay to get nervous. It's even okay to go sharp. But in here, today. I know that you are for sure one of the best singers in here. And you can do this."

As Mr. Blaine finished I and Bradon looked back towards each other. Bradon shook his head slightly and I agreed with him. Whatever it was that Mr. Blaine had planned to say here today that wasn't it. And maybe a part of why we knew that was because he still seemed tense and nervous, forcing a smile towards us while he went to sit down. And Charlotte got in front of the microphone stand and started talking before she was ready for her song.

"I guess when this year started I was expecting a lot of things from it. One has always heard that high school is the best times, high school are the worst times. High school is a pain if you're any different. Well, I heard a lot of things about high school. And I've been nervous a lot of times. But never as much as the day as I came to this school… or the time that I stood on this stage the first time."

Charlotte's voice had taken a steady and loud tone that I actually didn't quite recognize. She took her place, she seemed confident and the words that came were one after one and without a break. As if she had already decided what she was going to say and refused to stop it.

"When I didn't think I would ever stand here in front of all of you again. Because… I didn't think I would be good enough. Yet, I did it anyway. Because… I couldn't see one thing that I liked about high school until that second week when suddenly that flyer was up where we could sign for coming to the auditions. And I really wanted to be a part of this. Even though… something in me kept telling me I wouldn't be good enough. I just wanted to be so bad. For some different reasons… And here I am… Here we are."

Charlotte made a pause smiling shyly and tugged her grey, knitted shirt sleeves slightly before she took a deep breath and then started talking again.

Oh yes Charlotte Amato. Here we are!

"I have just… loved this year. Of course, not everything about it but… Whenever I think back to it what I will remember the most is the… is the glee club and that's what I loved the most. Every single second of it. And I already can't wait to start another, new year with all of you. But first of all… I just wanted to say… I just wanted to say thanks. Because you all had each part of this… And… I guess I'll just get on with the song. Kayla. I think it works best with only piano to it."

Charlotte turned and looked towards the older girl. Kayla nodded back at her and while the other members of the band lowered theirs Kayla placed her hands on the keys and started playing, and Charlotte- with the microphone still in the stand gripped around it and started singing.

Mr. Blaine sure was right when he said Charlotte was one of the best singers in this room. There wasn't one time during this whole year when she had been singing when I couldn't feel the hair rising on my arms and neck. Shivers going through my body by the beauty of her voice. Especially in times like these. With the most perfect song for her voice.

Although, maybe we all were one of the best singers in here. But maybe we all were in one way or the other. Martina had the country voice, Christie was a whole lot of voice in her tiny, little self no matter what she thought about it. Daniel… well, Daniel just kind of always sounded broken in some way. Even singing happy songs there was that tone. And no matter how broken- it was beautiful.

But here was Charlotte and she was just great. Even though she didn't quite know it herself.

I remembered when Charlotte had done and then gone sharp at the auditions. The exact word in the exact line. When it came closer I crossed my fingers and on the verge of stopped breathing for the moment.

And she hit that, and every single note of the whole song- perfectly.

"That was amazingly done Charlotte." Mr. Blaine clapped hardest of us all when Charlotte had finished. "Seth, your turn."

"Why so stressed?"

Seth got up and made his way towards the stage. But still, there was a point in what he asked. And while Mr. Blaine seemed nervous and forced. He also did seem stressed. As if he wanted for everything to go as quickly as possible…

…So that nobody would remember asking him what it was that he wanted to tell us.

And as if Mr. Blaine wasn't enough. Seth really did seem as if he was about to snap or explode in nervousity where he got up on the stage, at first talked to the band for a second and then turned and walked up to the microphone.

"Well. It's my turn then I guess. And as many of you know I just moved here a few months before my sophomore year started. So before I started school I didn't know a lot of people. Mostly Belle and my family actually. And… I promised myself not to dwell on it or to mention it ever again. Especially never mention it but…. I'm tired of keeping secrets and it's too warm outside to wear slacks."

I couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow. Seth would be right about that. But now I thought about it today was definitely too warm to wear slacks. But what did that have to do with any audition.

"…I know you don't think I'm making any sense with that."

Correct!

"…But to continue, anyway. There was one reason that was bigger than all the other reasons when we moved. And that was bullying. I had some trouble at my school and… if we'd stay around it would just continue. And… as most of you probably know I have been in two car crashes in my life. The first when I lost my biological parents. And then the second one where I hurt my leg. That later ended up infected and there was only one thing to do to keep it from getting worse."

Seth had to move away from the microphone a bit when he leaned down. Not until he folded a piece of his pants right over his knee I could see it was the kind of pants with zippers around the leg so you could make them into shorts.

Seth took the zipper and then kicked the lower half of the slack off. Revealing the silver metal-part of a prosthetic leg from his knee and down before he raised again and stared straight into the small crowd that were here.

"And now, as soon as everybody's done staring I will get on with my song."

I was staring just as much as anybody else in the room. Still I couldn't help to feel kind of sneaky and stopped to look around me. And yes, Seth really did have a point thinking people were staring.

"Well you don't exactly expect that on a Thursday." I said at last. "Just missing half your leg, no big deal. Now I want to see you doing your song."

"Oh damn. I forgot telling people about is, is best to do on a Monday."

With a smirk Seth looked back at the band who started playing their instruments. Seth turned back to the microphone. And I guess it was for the first time, while I- and neither quite a few people in here could take our eyes of the fact that one of his legs was kind of metal-ish.

I guess this song must have been important to Seth considering he had chosen it for his audition for something he had obviously wanted to do badly. But listening to the lyrics, that were about bullying- it wasn't a question for me.

This song meant something for us all.

Maybe that was the weirdest thing I had done all day- all year. But I couldn't help but smile. All those going on about how I was in fact a girl. Going princess or queen. Or that boys didn't do horse riding anyway.

Also all the ones that had gone on on Seth. I could only imagine- Cripple, broken, fake-leg, one-leg. All of those words. And here Seth was standing tall and confident showing all of us what he'd been hiding all of this year- and doing it in confidence.

And here I was- feeling better than ever.

Maybe none of those things could have been today if it hadn't been for bullying. For either me, Seth or any of the others. I didn't know everybody too well but I was pretty sure all of us had our own story to tell when it came to bullying.

After everything, here we were with the glee club.

"And you are certainly not invisible." Mr. Blaine commented referring to the lyrics of the song when Seth had finished. "I wish I had known about this song when I was in high school and I know Kurt that the same the day at the auditions. It was great and you did it beautifully. And wow guys… I just love seeing you all so… different from how you were. You're all so confident and you guys are seriously the bravest group of people I have ever known- and that's a matter of fact for all of you."

Seth smiled slightly where he stood and then, during a round of applause from the rest of us he left the stage and came walking up towards the chair he had been sitting before. Then when he passed me I couldn't help my urge to smirk up on him and slightly kick the metal prosthetic of his leg.

"Did you feel that?"

"No, of course not."

I smirked jokingly and then pulled my legs back so that Seth could make his way past me. Then gave Charlotte a slight side-hug and Seth whispered something to Charlotte, she whispered something back and he laughed slightly while leaning down towards the zipper around the knee of the other leg.

"Might as well." He pulled off the lower half of the slack which beneath there was one regular leg. "High school isn't exactly the place to keep a secret so now you all know…" He folded it and then put it in his bag.

"You are so cool. Did I tell you that?"

"Am I cool because I've only got a leg and a half Keagan? Really?"

"Yep." I nodded. "And I'm not ashamed to admit that I think so…" Seth couldn't help but laugh and shook his head at me. "You do know I'm not trying to be a bully or anything though? I'm just having a laugh and it seems you're enjoying it too."

"Yeah. Well. There's a difference between bullying and bullying isn't it?" Seth smiled a bit. "You're great Keagan. But now you have to shut up. It's time for Belle to do her song and I want to watch and listen to this."

As sure as it was sad Belle Jolie had walked up on the stage and was only staring towards me and Seth for us to shut up before we stopped talking and I leaned back in my chair to watch.

"Now. When those two are finally finished babbling." Belle straightened up a bit and held her head high. "In the end of every year I always try and think about if I could go back… and say something or do something. What would I do? It's just something that me and my mum would go through every year. But we've kind of forgotten the last couple of years and I only just remembered. Anyway, if I could go back in time to the beginning of the year or the day I did an audition well…"

Belle hesitated. And for a moment I was reminded of Lea-Marie a couple of lines of chairs behind me. She was always annoyed with people doing long speeches before their songs. Yet I hadn't heard her say one word about it and almost everyone had done their songs by now. It seems maybe the song she did last week letting us know about her mum. Maybe it had changed her somehow.

"Here." Suddenly Lea-Marie reached down her bag, stood up and reached Belle something. "Maybe that would give you some idea."

Not until Belle held it in front of her I could see it was a small pocket mirror and Belle ruffled in her hair slightly before saying anything at all.

"Well. If it was for the beginning of the year…" Belle reached the mirror back to Lea-Marie. "I know you're hurting and everything is going wrong in every possible way. I know it doesn't feel like anything is ever going to change but it will… And that things will just have to get worse before they get better. But I would tell that things do get better. Like… like…" Belle smirked up at Daniel. "Like that I am madly in love. This time with a guy who also likes me back. Or that Lenny is home. Of course I'm not happy he's hurt but it's relieving to know in some way that he won't be able to go back to… well, war… This is kind of cheesy. But if I could tell myself one thing only it would be only that it does get better. And… If I continue and explain why I chose this song it will be kind of embarrassing. And not only for myself. So I'll just get on with the song… please."

She looked back towards the band as most of them before her and started playing the intro. Belle herself let her arms and hands fall towards her sides while she started singing.

And Belle was good. She was really good, and there had never been a more perfect song for her voice and to show exactly how good she was.

The best part of all?

Knowing that she really had felt as badly as the song's lyrics spoke about. While Belle wasn't one of the ones I knew the best in here. It was enough having seen her and Daniel together during the past couple of months- she was as far away from this song as possible. And knowing it sent shivers down my spine- how happy wasn't one more than knowing your friends were happy? Even after not being for God knows how long.

But looking to Bradon, I could see on the frown over his eyes that he couldn't let the feeling go that something bad was about to happen. And after everything I couldn't help but to long for when everybody had done their songs so we'd finally know what all of this was about.

"Great job Belle Jolie." We all applauded while Mr. Blaine shouted his comment. "That was amazing. If possible, then even better than what it was the first time we heard it. And I am so happy things have gotten better for you."

Belle didn't mind respond. She ran up into the stairs so fast her long, dark hair flew behind her. Then to Daniel where they kissed each other. He whispered something in her ear, I couldn't hear what but she did giggle, boxed him on the shoulder and then sat down and leaned her head against his shoulder.

I wasn't the only one who saw it, I could see Sharon on her way up towards the stage. That she so very longingly looked towards the couple.

Longingly for what?

When she got up on the stage with her nowadays, so usual and understandable heartbroken expression before she started talking. Her voice sounding as broken as she looked. And I felt my smile from earlier fading.

Now, wasn't the feeling knowing your friends were hurting the worst feeling of them all?

"If that's okay I'd like to do my song acapella."

"That is okay." Mr. Blaine answered her. "You're the boss over your own performance. Now I have forgotten all about what song you did and everything. Which is a bit strange because I do remember it was a song I really liked since before. Oh, anyway. You just go on and start yours."

I remembered the song Sharon had done before she had started. Like Mr. Blaine, and probably most people in here I had heard it already when it was at its biggest. With the song and the music video circling all over the Internet. Then I had almost forgotten about it to be honest. Well, not quite since I had recognized it when she started it on audition day and still knew the lyrics.

But I had never heard it, or expected it to be like this.

Since Sharon had chosen to do her song acapella all the members of the band and their instruments, including the speakers that went to where we would plug our phones in to play music from them was silent as in the grave. And every single member of Finn's army up in the chairs of the auditorium was silent as never before.

The way Sharon sang her song was slower, and flatter, without the notes going as high as they usually did in the refrain. As if Sharon was doing it carefully and had chosen the safe side to make sure she didn't blow a tone.

But Sharon wasn't like that, she didn't change the tones to choose the safe sides. And even when it came to singing she was daring and upon that she had done the song absolutely perfectly on audition day. I did remember that.

While the song was emotional like never before. I could not have been the only one with tears in my eyes while the last one of the notes Sharon sang of her emotional cover of an already emotional song rang out.

"Wow."

It was only one word, barely more than a sound in itself that Mr. Blaine said seconds, might as well have been an hour after Sharon had finished her song that he finally had figured anything at all. And what else could there be? None of us knew anything to say or do. And meanwhile tears were streaming down Sharon's cheeks while she was desperately trying to streak them away with her sleeves.

Then suddenly Esme was up on the stage and hugged her tight. And while the only sound in the whole, big auditorium was the sound of Sharon's sobs and snivels, muffled towards Esme's shirt. But breaking each of our hearts into pieces- for one of us to be hurting this bad.

Every other thing just seemed so tiny compared to what Sharon was going through.

Esme said something to Sharon the rest of us couldn't hear when they let go of each other. Sharon nodded, but still sobbing she walked down from the stage and sat down on the front row while Esme said something to the members of the band and then turned against the rest of us,

"I guess I could say at least that the first half of my high school years have been… interesting." Esme laughed slightly. "And so many things I could never have expected have happened. One of those being that I was a part of this awesome glee club. Another one being that my best friend was." She turned to Sharon. "But for most of the year we weren't talking to each other at all because of some stupid guy."

"May that some stupid guy share my last name?" Bradon asked while Esme seemed to be searching for the right words. "Because if so I can assure you- he is very much a stupid guy. And he's definitely not worth fighting over."

Maybe in another situation Esme, or Bradon, or Sharon or any of us others would have laughed. It would have been funny- right now it wasn't. And nobody laughed. But Bradon was right though, Alexander Fredericks was a stupid guy. He also kept calling me "princess"

"And I just can't believe that I just chose this song only to hurt her." Esme continued and I was pulled back to reality and listening. "Because I knew it was a song we had done together. Yet… I feel bad for hurting you Sharon. And if that makes anything better I ended up hurting at least as much myself. But then, I… the song I did ended up being so much more suiting and true than what I would have expected it to. And that's why I'm actually happy that I'm standing here and doing it again. And after everything, to tell each and every one of you that I mean every word I sing." She turned towards the band. "Hit it guys."

The song started playing… This song was more upbeat than many of the other songs. And I didn't quite recognize it. Even though the meaning was clear. In every single word I couldn't help but smile and know that we all must know what it was about.

"And I hope that's how you all have been able to feel in here…" Mr. Blaine commented once she was finished with her song. "As if you've been able to just be yourself. Without having anything to prove when we've come in here. That was great Es. You have come so far this past year and I'm so happy you're doing better. And I have to agree though- Alex is stupid." I chuckled shortly along with the others. "Well they say laughter is the best medicine for everything. Dakota. You're up. And you're the last."

"I'm the last…" Dakota got up. "Am I the only one who didn't do a ballad for my audition? Wow. All of you are just boring. Choosing… I would say safe cards. Well, other than mine I guess Daniel was the furthest from a ballad but…"

Dakota muttered to himself about ballads going up on the stage and as he had plugged his phone into the speakers rather than letting the band play some acoustic version of it. I frowned slightly- I knew that wasn't the way I would have wanted it but of course. Dakota was the boss over how he wanted to do his song.

And I didn't have to hear more than the intro melody to know that this! Was! So! … so… so… so Dakota!

In fact, as soon as his performance started I was almost relieved at least the members of the band didn't have to do else than to sit still holding their instruments. There was enough happening on the stage and to keep my eyes on without them moving.

And with that Dakota kept singing and dancing. And I couldn't quite figure how on earth Dakota managed to hold onto the microphone with all of the moving around the stage and jumping and spinning and kicking and even hitting right out. But still that microphone was right in front of his mouth for every line of words. And every note that was hit perfectly right.

"Why didn't you just ask for one of those headset-microphones?" Mr. Blaine asked once the performance was over and Dakota, panting and sweaty leaned forward with his hands on his knees with a big smile towards the rest of us. "That would probably have been a bit easier for you."

"If you'd want everything to be easy then you might as well do nothing at all."

"That you might be right about." Mr. Blaine laughed, but he still sounded distressed and forced. "Now that I think about it. I remember that when you did your audition I never got to say what I thought because your brother came in right then." Dakota nodded, smirking and laughing slightly. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure you remember that too. How long after that did you tell your dad about the glee club?"

"A few hours. And he was okay with it."

"But anyway. Now I can tell what I thought of it. And I thought that was freaking great. You have such great energy. That song is perfect for you, for your voice, and the way you keep singing AND dancing AND holding onto that darn microphone through the whole performance I mean wow. That was just amazing and what a finish to this week. What a finish to this theme."

"But Mr. Blaine, you wrote earlier this week on Facebook you had something to tell us."

"I did?"

"Now. You said you had something to tell us today." Martina said, and I couldn't help but hear that she probably had the same bad feeling as Bradon. "Now that everybody's done their audition song come on. We've all been wondering all since Tuesday?"

"It's not very long in between Tuesday and today right?"

"Don't try and joke now Mr. Blaine. You said you had something to tell us today. And none of us will leave before you've told us. Don't try and get away."

Mr. Blaine sighed- soon we'd know that it was the first of at least a thousand within the nearest while. Then he glanced over the group like he usually would and nodded slightly. Something changed and it was like he showed that he was going to tell us after all.

"We'll go to the choir room guys." His shoulders were slumped and there was a distressed tone in his voice I hadn't heard before. "I don't want to have to use a microphone for you all to hear me."

I looked to Bradon one more time. The given up tone in Mr. Blaine's voice kind of scared me, and on the way Bradon looked back to me he had heard the same thing. And while Bradon was a worrier- I wasn't and tried to act like it too.

"It's probably fine." We stood up and collected our things while Bradon was the one who tried to calm us both. "We'll find out soon enough. I just have to go pick up something from my locker so we can just leave afterwards. I'll be right there."

Before me and carefully pushing his way past the others, up the stairs and out the doors. I moved away into the stairs too so Seth and Charlotte could make their way past me. But then as I threw my bag over one shoulder and continued up the stairs I couldn't help but to glance down to the back of Seth's legs. Or well, leg and prosthetic leg.

Well… He was good at hiding it. He didn't have a limp in the slightest.

And I couldn't help but wonder what it actually did feel like when one of your limbs just suddenly ended only halfway from where it should or had before.

Must be weird.

"Well, what do we have here?" I suddenly heard and was pulled back from my wondering to reality, looked up and could see the school's biggest bully, Avery Benson walking up to Seth. "Peg-leg? Why didn't you tell us before? Then we would have had all year to have fun with this." Just as I saw Avery kicked the prosthetic so hard Seth almost fell. Avery laughed so loud it echoed through the hallway. Seth himself looked mildly amused. "What's the matter cripple-boy? You can't feel it, can you?"

"Hey." I couldn't help to cross my arms over my chest getting up next to Seth and facing that Avery Benson. "That so called peg-leg and cripple-boy is my friend. And you don't mess with my friends. Or you'll have me to deal with."

"What?" Avery only snorted. "You don't think I can take on a peg-leg and a tranny?"

"Oh no?" I was just about to answer when Bradon came up next to me. "How about peg-leg, tranny and faggot? Oh." Charlotte came up on his other side and he laid his hand on her shoulder. "And her. We've got a few other friends too but… she is stronger than what she looks like so I don't think we're going to need them."

Avery Benson gazed over the group of us one more time. Then snorted, turned and left us for his friends who came from the other direction. I patted Seth's shoulder slightly, he looked back at me as if I was suddenly his biggest idol or something like that.

"You wouldn't have had to do that."

"Don't mention it. I know I didn't have to do that. I wanted to."

"Wasn't it enough with like… Avery, and his guys being on me? I mean. I've heard it all before still. Oneleg, peg-leg, broken, cripple. You name it. I could probably have just ignored them. Now they're going to be on you too."

"And you don't think they have been on me before? Geez Seth. I'm a boy born in a girl's body. I have heard my fair share of insults. Avery and his guys were on me before. They stopped after about the millionth time when they at last accepted that I wasn't going to care for it. If you only ignore them they'll get tired and stop it. But it's okay. I could see you getting annoyed by what he called you. Now, with me, Bradon and Charlotte by your sides… you won't have to."

"Yeah." Bradon agreed with me. "You're our friend. And nobody messes with our friends and gets away with it. Besides, Keagan is the best one to show that without making it worse or starting a fight… You should be grateful."

"I am grateful. Thanks a lot. I am. But the thing is… I know what those guys are like. And I'd never have asked you to do what you did because… You don't want them to go on me and neither do I want them to go on you…" We made our way into the choir room. "You didn't have to do nothing. And I'm sorry for whatever trouble those guys are going to cause for you now."

People were starting to fill up the chairs in the choir room. And despite that we had been caught up by Avery Benson and his gang on the way here Mr. Blaine wasn't here yet so I and Seth kept on talking.

"Well the thing is. This whole year is full with things I didn't have to do. I didn't have to audition for the glee club even though my best friend did. I didn't have to put Alma down even though I knew that was for the best. I didn't have to go back to the stables… even though I love the stables and I knew I had Domino there. But I didn't have to keep him of course. And then I didn't have to help you."

"But all of those things were big things that will interfere in the rest of your life. Helping me and standing up for Avery Benson will only get you in trouble and they're bullies and bullies are... Well, bullies."

"And I don't care. All I care about, is one thing. And that goes for everything that has happened this year. Big and small. I mean it, everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"After all, I'm only talking about one single thing. One that this whole year, every single thing. Good and bad, big and small."

"Yeah. You said that. But that is a whole lot of work to say only one thing. And you still haven't said what that one thing is."

Well I could, and it was pretty sure. And with pictures of memories through this whole year- both of the glee club, school, the stables. And everything else flashed by on the insides of my eyelids I couldn't help but smile while I said it. Right when Mr. Blaine came into the room and I just had time to say the last before we all knew everybody would want to make their voices heard.

"I would do it all again."

Esme POV

"Next year there isn't going to be a Finn's army."

When Mr. Blaine at last interrupted almost shouting the room fell silent. As everybody tried to take in and understand what he had just said. It took a while even for me to understand what it was.

"What do you mean?" Jasper at last seemed to have gotten and asked. "There's still going to be a glee club. Is there? You can't just leave."

"No." Mr. Blaine sighed deeply. "There isn't going to be a glee club next year. I'm not going to be here next year. Look guys, starting up Finn's army was such a fast decision. I barely even knew what I was doing. I had gotten a job at the library here and suddenly I just… there was the idea and I just had to go with it. And I wouldn't trade my decision for anything in the world."

I could feel my throat going thicker and annoyed forced the lump down again. If I was having to say something now I didn't want my voice to break. But I didn't, and for what felt like hours the choir room of William McKinley High school seemed dead silent.

"Before I graduated from this school myself I was certain I wanted to do something with music. Kurt was in NYADA and I applied, and got in. I studied there for a bit but… it didn't feel right. At last it was sorted so another guy could have my spot and I quit. Then I figured, I always wanted to be a doctor. So I started looking up what it would take and what I would have to study and I got into a school. Nothing fancy like NYADA. But I was happy… then it didn't feel right. So I quit again, and Kurt wasn't happy. And I wasn't happy. The time after that was spent with Kurt graduating and starting his job on Vogue, marrying. And then, partly because I wanted to go back to the start we moved back here. To Burt and Carole's house and to Lima. Kurt could work through the Internet for Vogue and it would give me a chance to relax and think about what I wanted to do."

Mr. Blaine glanced over the group as if he wanted for someone to reply to what he was saying. That we'd know what he was going to do with his life. But nobody said anything so he sighed and then continued.

"Then I saw on Facebook. That Mr. Campbell- the head librarian in the school library was looking for an assistant. So I figured, why not? I would need a job and somewhere to go in the weeks so I applied. Then, when I was here and talked to him on my own I passed the auditorium. And remembering everything about it I walked into it. Then I saw someone standing in there, on the stage. Singing and playing the guitar."

Mr. Blaine had talked about this before. He kept on saying the person he saw was Daniel. And that he hadn't been able to find the song that he had played. But all the while and every time it was mentioned. Daniel kept on claiming he didn't know what Mr. Blaine was talking about.

Even though it was perfectly clear he did. Even though there was something he wanted to keep secret.

"And that's when I decided that if there was more of that sort of talent in this school. Then I had to bring the glee club back. No matter what it would take. And that was what I did. And I wouldn't go back and stop myself from doing so for anything in the world. This glee club has meant so much for me this past year. And it is what have showed me what I really want to do with my life. And what I want to do is I want to be a teacher. A music teacher. And then maybe, when I am… I'll be able to have my own glee club again. For year after year after year."

Nobody said anything when Mr. Blaine finished yet one more time. Not even Mady Heedie, whose tears silently rolled down her cheeks where she had her head rested against her brother's shirt.

"Oh Mady."

Mr. Blaine leaned forward where he sat. Put his elbows on his knees and leaned his chin in his hand. His eyes were first set on Mady then he started looking around to see everybody's reactions to what he had told us.

"I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be happy I got into that college because this really is what I want to do with my life. But then I figured I wouldn't tell you. So you wouldn't have to worry about this ending if I didn't know for sure. Then I got the acceptance letter. And the thing was… I have just seen you guys- all of you. Come so far since the audition days. And if you reacted like this, with disappointment and whatever is going on inside of you. I didn't want to break that and make it all go to waste. But now that I told you…" Once again Mr. Blaine looked around the room and glanced over the group. "I don't know what to do or say to make all of this better for everyone."

"Can't you just stay with this?" Mady asked, her voice broken and changing. "And just be a glee club coach forever and ever? All until you're no working no more."

"Sorry Mads. No can do."

"But why not?" Mr. Blaine didn't answer Mady's whining. And not even Benjamin seemed to want to answer her anything this time. "Why not?"

"Because…" Mr. Blaine shook his head again and ran his hand through his thick, dark curls. "…I don't know Mady. Sometimes you have to… as an adult. Make tough decisions. Those which will make better chances in the future but still hurts like hell right now. And I… first I didn't tell you because I didn't tell you because I didn't know if it was what I wanted to do. Then I didn't tell you because I didn't know if I'd get into a school. Then I got in and then I… I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel as bad as me. And I didn't want anyone to have to feel as terrible as I do for as long."

The room fell in silence again. Well, that was except for Mady Heedie sniveling into her big brother's shirt. And then at last Keagan Spencer's voice breaking through it all with the one question we all wanted to answer for.

"As long? For how long have you known this will happen?"

"I figured and started planning for it right before Christmas. Then I applied to a college in February, the letter came at the end of April. And I got in. So I'll be moving back to New York when this year's over. But not me, not Kurt, neither anyone of us know what will happen next year, or in ten years, or the year after that. Maybe someday we'll be back to Lima and I'll be back at this very school. It is the best one after all. And maybe with Finn's army. Or maybe I'll come up with something else. It felt… amazing doing this with Finn's name in all of it. And I am sure that wherever he is today. He knew about this and he is very, very proud of this and of all of you. And so am I."

"But by the time when you've finished studying and have got your degree. Then none of us will be here anymore."

I barely even knew it until I heard the words coming out in my own voice. And then the room fell in that awful kind of silence again.

"You could have at least told me."

Christie usually didn't say anything as long as she wasn't spoken to first. I could probably count on five fingers how many times she had just interrupted like that. And people usually didn't talk to her- I guess we had been sort of scared away because she was always so rude.

"I'm sorry Chris."

"NO. You don't get to come and say you're sorry and then act like it's going to be all fine. Because it's not. If this isn't going to last then you should have let us know. Especially me, we live under the same roof for Christ's sake. I'd never even have joined this. Why am I supposed to when everybody leaves anyway?"

With that, Christie got onto her feet. Ripped up her backpack from the floor and stomped across the floor, slamming the door after her in the moves and after the "bang" leaving an ear-crushing silence after her.

In front of us, Mr. Blaine, sitting on the piano was rubbing his face with his whole palms in frustration. Then with a deep sigh he laid his hands behind him and leaned back. The silence seemed more and more ear-crushing by the second.

"Well, in fact Christie didn't even know if she was going to be alive at the end of this year." Martina said thoughtfully and broke the silence. "I know that sounds harsh but… It's true. She almost died in fact. But… she is right though Mr. Blaine. You should have let us know if what we came here for wasn't going to last."

Martina too grabbed her bag and walked with heavy steps towards the door. Every decibel of her shoes hitting the floor and then the door sounded so awfully loud through the rest of the compact silence.

"Well, that's Christie and Martina. Anyone else who wants to leave?"

Then, one after one. Benjamin and Mady, Dakota, Lea-Marie, Daniel and Belle, Jasper…

And then Sharon and I.

For each and every one Mr. Blaine raised his hand in a slight wave. Nobody of those I had the time to see answered him at all and his hand just fell down towards his leg again with another sigh. And for each and every time he looked more and more confused and heartbroken.

Sharon and I had never run out of things to talk about. Unless those months we had spent not talking to each other at all. But walking side by side to get home none of us said a word, not even when I first turned into my driveway and up to my house. Ignoring my sisters in the kitchen and continuing straight to my room where I dropped my bag on the floor. Took my old teddy bear Brian from the corner of the bed and then sat down and pulled my knees up on the bed leaned against the wall with him hugged close towards my chest.

"Life as a teddy bear must be so easy, won't it Brian?" I suddenly asked to the pieces of fabric in my hands, let go slightly and held him towards my knees where I could see him properly. "All you have to do all day is to just sit by the head of my bed and look wise and comforting with those brown eyes like you always do. Well, except for listen to all of my problems. That can't be very easy that either."

For another second I just looked right into Brian's brown glass-eyes. And remembered that night I'd thrown up all over him when I was four and had the stomach flu, or that time I was seven and there was a boy I thought looked nice, or those times when he was the only one who knew what I was doing. Making the cuts on my arms hurting just a little bit less.

"Who cares? You're just some stupid freaking pieces of fabric?"

I threw Brian the bear hard into a corner of my room and pouted. Let a few tears escape my eyes.

No Finn's army?

And now Brian the bear didn't even help.

And I had thrown away the only friend that had been there for me through exactly everything.

I got onto my feet and slowly and stiffly made my way over to the corner and picked Brian up again. Hugging his soft self close to me and breathing in so I could smell him.

"I'm sorry B."

Well wasn't there something more to old teddy bears than just pieces of fabric and soft fake fur?

"Do you have one old toy of some kind?" I asked Hayley, when we were sitting in the hallway at the end of the Friday. "Like an old teddy bear of some kind." Hayley shrugged and looked down in his math books. "Come on Hay."

"Just hang on a minute."

Well, if there was something I should have learnt by now was that Hayley couldn't and didn't like to be interrupted when he was doing maths.

"That's another week ending then." Even though he still had the math books opened right in front of him Hayley started talking to me and I looked up. "First on Monday it just feels like the week in front of you is endlessly long. And then suddenly it's Friday again and it's weekend. And then again… and then again, and then again. Es? Are you listening to me?"

"Yes." I shook my head and returned to reality enough to answer him. "Sorry. I was just thinking about the glee club. It feels weird I'm going to be at this school for two more years but then there'll be no Finn's army to look forward to."

Hayley nodded slightly and scratched his forehead with the top of his pencil like he would when he was thinking hard. And I could almost hear the way he so badly wanted to say the right thing. That was just the way he was- but what was right now?

"You really like it do you? The glee club?"

"Yeah." I gave a slight smile and chuckle. "Just like you like your math, and star wars and Harry Potter." Hayley chuckled slightly back and laid down the pencil he was holding. "It's okay. You can go back to what you were doing."

"No." He closed his books. "I just want to be with you." He picked them up and put them in his Star wars- printed bag. "And I love being with you way more than with math or star wars. And it's weekend after all. Should we…"

Hayley was interrupted when there suddenly was a loud noise and a buzz from my phone that laid on the table. I sighed deeply- why right now? Then took it, turned it and barely even knew what I was seeing until I saw it was something on Facebook from Mr. Blaine.

"Hold on. I'll just see what it's about."

I guess there were just some little, naïve part of me that hoped that it would be about Mr. Blaine having changed his mind. That he would stay here, with McKinley and with Finn's army. Maybe forever, at least until I had graduated.

Sorry about how the rehearsal ended yesterday guys. Maybe you're right, and I should have told you sooner. But let's not concentrate so much on that. And just make the most of what is left, we've still got almost whole June. And we've still got loads of time to make the best out of what we've got left. On Monday we start rehearsing for nationals. And for that I can't wait to see what you've got.
See you on Monday, have a nice weekend.
-Mr. Blaine.

"Have a nice weekend." I repeated, reading from Facebook. "Well, that's easier said than done. Everything that's been going on and on in my mind since yesterday is that Finn's Army will be no more." I sighed deeply and pushed the phone down my pocket again. "Everything I'm going to know the last few weeks of this year is going to be- well that's another week down for Finn's army." I quickly counted on my fingers. "And it's only four weeks left." My stomach dropped and I could feel a lump rising in my throat.

Hayley laid his arm over the table in between us and I laid my hand in his. It just fit so perfectly in his as if this had all been meant to be. And with his skin, even though it was only the hand. Against mine and his eyes looking into mine I was only reminded that after everything I did have the world's sweetest boyfriend after all.

"The thing is, this year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Earlier years there were bullies and everything. Then my freshman year I was with my best friend. And suddenly I had a boyfriend and everything. I was at a new school and I could start over. And everything was great. And then the year ended with finding my boyfriend and my best friend in bed together. And then I spent so much of this year not talking to anyone. But there you were. And wow, it was way too long before I stopped making up excuses and just… remember that day when we were in the auditorium and I at last just walked over to you and kissed you?" Hayley smiled blushing slightly.

"As if I could ever forget."

Yet one more time I remembered back.

All of this year.

All the fighting, all the making up, Hayley, Sharon, Alex. Making my first real job with babysitting Sammy. Then Hayley again and Martina who had had a crush on me. Feeling so bad when I had to tell her I wasn't into girls. Then Hayley again, and his parents, that accidental cutting and sitting on a hospital bunk telling Frank everything it was about. All at once.

And then Hayley again.

Then Finn's army on top of it all. More important than anything else.

"I would do it all again."

Belle's point of view starts the chapter off- They had a rehearsal in the Hudson-Hummel-Anderson-Kyemohr's living room and Mr. Blaine admits the theme for this week is for everybody to do the songs they auditioned with. Christie and Charlotte did theirs. Belle feels terrible about what happened to Finn. Even though it wasn't her fault. Belle and Daniel are in love. And Belle's mum is hurting after the car crash she was in. With her best friend- whose kidney, when she died went to Christie and saved her life. Then Lenny is home, he's better. He felt like surprising. Belle is having a niece and her name is Leah Jeanie Isabella.

Benjamin's point of view was the first one I wrote of this chapter. Writing this I'm not quite finished, and it's more than eight thousand words. It must be the longest in this story but it was just… I wanted those auditions to be part of it and then there were Dakota and Benjamin being a couple (FINALLY) And so Dakota's dad and Benjamin's mum who are also a cute couple and them talking about the year. And I just have to get back for now and maybe I'll finally finish the point of view.

In Keagan's point of view Lea-Marie has changed a bit and isn't as loud as she's been before. Well that's kind of nice but Keagan has got a bad feeling about it. After all I do feel a bit sorry for her. She has been through so much with her mum and everything and she's just pushed everybody away. Anyway, too. Seth showed everybody that he has got a prosthetic leg. And people were surprised but that's kind of it. Now the whole school's going to know but at least he's got friends to stick up for him. And Bradon has got a bad feeling about what it's going to be that Mr. Blaine has to tell them all.

At last in Esme's point of view everybody are reacting badly to the end of Finn's army. But there's nothing to be done about that. And not even that old teddy bear can make it feel better. Then Hayley and Esme are still adorable together. But Hayley likes his math. And Mr. Blaine- who's now going back to school again to become a music teacher.

Playlist
Charlotte- Halo- Beyoncé
Christie- Wherever I go- Hannah Montana
Martina- You hear a song- Cassadee Pope
Daniel- Love you like a love song- Selena Gomez (Shane Harper cover. It's on YouTube)
Benjamin- What makes you beautiful- One direction (Boyce Avenue's acoustic version)
Lea-Marie- Somewhere- West side story
Jasper- We are young- Fun.
Keagan- Grenade- Bruno Mars
Bradon- All of the stars- Ed Sheeran
Charlotte- Don't cry for me Argentina- Evita
Seth- Invisible- Hunter Hayes
Belle- Hopelessly devoted to you- Grease
Sharon- Wrecking ball- Miley Cyrus
Esme- Finally me- Laura Marano
Dakota- Break free- Ariana Grande

Random fact

I actually kind of wish I could start this story all over again. Most would probably still the same but I would like to make the characters more diverse and keep a closer look at their syoc forms. Use Dakota's alter-ego Rocky, Dakota on the cheerios, Benjamin doing football and having trouble with his medicines, Daniel on the basket team and things like that. And then keep notes on stuff that was mentioned in their first pov's like how long they'd lived in Lima and stuff like that. Because I know I forgot most about that and accidentally changed it going into the story.

Of course I'm not going to start it over though. We are officially fifty chapters into the story and with… I don't know, ten or less chapters left. If I started it over now I would never get it done. So for you all who have characters in the story- I hope you're happy with how I've written them.

The ones who review will get each shoutout.