Kathy crept closer to her foster parent's door. She had heard them yellng at each other and she needed to make sure that it wasn't about her. She had gotten in trouble at school the other day but her foster parents hadn't punished her yet, which was odd. She hit some stupid boy who was being mean to her and you weren't supposed to ever hit anyone at school, even if they were a complete asshole and they deserved it. You weren't supposed to call them a fucking asshole at school either even if they were and she had done that to the stupid boy too. She had no idea why she always seemed to get in trouble more than the other kids at school. All she knew is that she would get really, really mad sometimes and she wanted to hit someone.

Most of the time, she could control it but sometimes she couldn't. Sometimes, the other person was so much of an asshole, that she didn't even try to control it and she just let loose. She'd had foster parents before and they had thrown her back, telling the people at Child Protective Services that she was a good kid but that she was just too 'energetic' for them. Kathy knew that was just a code word meaning that they thought she was a brat and that they couldn't stand her. But John and Hannah had been different. They had been good to her. When she had gotten in trouble in the past, they let her cool down and then they talked to her. They told her that she couldn't go around hitting people even when they deserved it. They had always punished her but they didn't throw her back.

They were nice to her and she liked it here even if they always made her go to school and they made her take a bath every night, even when she wasn't dirty. This didn't make any sense to Kathy as she knew that there were shortages of clean water on Earth. When she had suggested one night that they send the clean water to the people who didn't have any instead of making her take a bath, they had both just laughed and made her take the bath anyway.

She liked school too, mostly, and always got good grades. Getting A's was easy for her even though she sometimes had a hard time sitting still and she sometimes got bored. When she got bored, she started talking to the other kids in class and the teacher would yell at her. She loved recess and gym class when she was able to run around and scream as much as she wanted without getting in trouble.

Kathy thought that her foster parents liked having her here too. She had been here for almost two years now. On her eighth birthday, her foster parents had even gotten her an omnitool of her very own, saying that 'their little scholar' needed it for school. It had a parental lock on it but she had learned from a kid at school how to remove it so that she could search anywhere she wanted on the extranet. It was a used, cheaper model but it was all hers and it was her most prized possession besides the nice, new backpack that her foster parents had also gotten for her. She knew that her foster parents didn't have a lot of money but they got her nice stuff anyway.

That's why she hit that stupid Roger right in the nose. He had showed off his newer, more expensive omnitool and dismissed hers as a piece of shit. He knew she was an orphan so he called her a Street Rat in front of all the other kids. He then said that her foster parents were just poor pieces of trash while his father was rich. Kathy knew it wasn't true. Rich kids went to private schools in the rich parts of the city. They didn't go to run-down public schools in their dumpy neighborhood but it made her mad anyway so she hit him with all her might. He fell to the ground like a little baby and started crying. He didn't even try to fight back. So then the teachers came and she got in trouble even though he was the asshole who started the whole thing.

Her foster parents came to the school to pick her up. They told her that what she did was wrong and that no matter what he said to her, she shouldn't have hit him. They explained that words being said, no matter how bad the words, didn't justify anyone hitting anyone else. That words were just words and that they couldn't really hurt her so she should just ignore them. When she had asked them why if words were just words, she always got in trouble from the teachers at school when she said swear words, they didn't respond and she saw John give Hannah a small smile.

Despite the lecture, they didn't punish her which was weird because they always made her stay in her room after school instead of being allowed to go outside to play with the other kids when she got in trouble. They even took away her omnitool to make it especially boring but they let her read her books at least. But this time, she had not been punished and she noticed that her foster parents were acting weird. They had been fighting more since John lost his job. Hannah still had her job but her hours had been cut so she was working less too.

Kathy snuck up to their door as quietly as possible and tried to hear their whispered words.

"We have to face facts here. There's nothing left! I can't find a job anywhere else. What are we supposed to do when we they kick us out of this place?" Kathy heard John say. Hannah didn't respond right away and Kathy could hear her crying. Finally, Hannah spoke.

"Well, we can't do that! Anything but that. I don't care what I have to do for money, I'll do it!"

Kathy relaxed a little bit. They weren't fighting about her at all. They were just fighting about money again. She was safe. Kathy tiptoed back to her own room. She felt bad for her foster parents. They never seemed to have enough money and they talked about it all the time. Despite that, every day they gave her a credit chit with money on it so that she could buy lunch from the school cafeteria. She determined that she would just eat breakfast and dinner that week and would give the credits back to Hannah at the end of the week. Most of the food at school was shit anyways except for pizza day. Maybe she would buy lunch on pizza day but the rest of the week she would skip it no matter how hungry she got. Kathy smiled at the thought of how happy her foster parents would be when they got all that money back.

The next week, Kathy skipped lunch at school. She even resisted the urge to buy lunch on pizza day. Some of the teachers noticed that she wasn't eating and asked her about it. She lied and said that she had already eaten. There were so many kids that the few teachers had to watch that they didn't even question her lie.

When she got back home on Friday, Hannah was home alone. She had been quiet all that week. John was gone as he had been most of the week. Hannah usually laughed a lot but Kathy had not heard her laugh at all for days. Kathy knew how to make her smile. She went up to her foster mother and held out the credit chit, a huge smile on her face. Hannah looked at the chit, confused.

"What's this?"

"It's my credit chit. I didn't eat lunch all week long. Now you can use that money to pay the rent so we don't get kicked out."

Instead of taking the chit or smiling as Kathy had expected, Hannah burst into tears. Hannah put her arms around Kathy's back and pulled her in tightly, still sobbing. After getting her crying under control, Hannah continued to hold her and finally said,

"You're a good girl, Katherine Shepard. You're a good person. No matter what happens, don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't."

After that, Hannah got up and fixed Kathy a nice, big snack of spaghettios even though dinner was only an hour or two away anyway. John didn't come home that night so they had dinner later than usual. Kathy was happy that she got her snack or she would have been starving. When she asked Hannah where John was, Hannah responded that he was out looking for a job and fingers crossed, he would get it. Kathy tried to remember to keep at least her fingers crossed the rest of the night. Crossing her toes was hard and it made her walk funny.

The next morning, Kathy and Hannah were in the kitchen when John walked in. His face was expressionless as he shook his head at Hannah, who burst into tears again. John then came over, picked up Kathy and gave her a long hug. Kathy felt a funny feeling in her stomach. She couldn't understand why her foster parents were acting so weird and why they were so sad but she got the idea that it might have something to do with her. She was not safe. When John put her down again, she asked, "Are you gonna throw me back?"

John didn't respond for a long time. He had tears in his eyes but he managed to smile at Kathy.

"Why don't you go outside and play with the other kids for a bit? I need to talk to Hannah and then later on, we will go out for ice cream."

Kathy went outside but she didn't play with the other kids. The funny feeling in her stomach didn't go away. She sat down on the steps to their apartment building until hours later when her foster parents came out for her. They took the skybus to her favorite ice cream place by the ocean. She had a sundae. John and Hannah smiled at her the entire time but she could tell that it wasn't real. Then they walked along the beach and sat down on a bench. John put Kathy in his lap.

"We have to go away for a bit, Kathy. I can't find a job anywhere in the city and we are out of money. We are going to a colony in space to work. They don't allow children in this colony so we can't take you with us. Once we make enough money, we will come back for you. We have to take you back to the orphanage today but it's only temporary. Once we come back, we will adopt you and you will be our daughter."

Kathy started to cry. "If you need money, you can take back my omnitool and sell it. And my backpack too."

John smiled sadly and shook his head. "That won't be enough money. You keep your stuff until we get back."

Kathy's thoughts were a jumble. Were they really going to come back for her? Or were they just saying that to make her feel better? Or to make it easier on themselves? Was money really the reason they were going away or was it because she was bad sometimes?

"You're coming back? For real?"

"For real, Peanut. It will take us about eight months to get the money but then we will be back."

Kathy spoke in a quiet voice. "Do..do you promise?"

"I promise."

Hannah took Kathy off John's lap and pulled her onto her own lap and held her close.

"I promise too. God, I'm going to miss you so much! I love you so much."

Neither one of them had ever said that to her before. No one had ever said that to her before. Kathy smiled through her tears.

"You mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it. I love you, Kathy. And if you will have us, after we get back, we want you to be our daughter for good."

Kathy threw her arms around Hannah's neck. After sitting for a while longer, they all got back on the skybus and made the trip across the city to the orphanage. Kathy tried to act brave but the closer they got, the more afraid she became. She remembered this place. She hated this place. She remembered being thrown back here by other foster parents. She remembered the older kids beating her up and taking what few things she had. She remembered that some of the grown-ups were nice but there were so many kids here and so few grown-ups that they weren't much help at all. She would be on her own again. She was not safe.

Were her foster parents really going to come back for her? They seemed to be telling her the truth but there was nothing she could do if they weren't. Maybe if she had been a better kid, they wouldn't be throwing her back like this. Maybe if she didn't get so mad and didn't hit anyone, they would have kept her. Her foster parents walked her up to the Director of the orphanage and gave her the backpack filled with her stuff. First, John gave her a hug goodbye and then Hannah. They told her again that they loved her and that they would come back for her.

Kathy could feel her heartbeat start to race as she watched her foster parents walk away. She could feel the firm hand of the Director on her shoulder tighten as her foster parents got closer to the door, keeping her from moving. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe if she promised to be a good girl this time, they wouldn't leave her here. Maybe if she promised to never fight or swear or get really mad again, and she really, truly meant it, they would give her another chance. She watched as John and Hannah reached the door and then it closed behind them.

Kathy wrenched away from the hand of the Director and ran towards the door as fast as she could. The door opened for her and she spotted her foster parents just as they were about to get on the skybus. She ran towards them and started shouting.

"Wait! Please don't leave me here! I'll be a good girl. I won't hit anyone ever again. Please don't leave me...Please!"

It was too late. Her foster parents either didn't hear her or didn't want to hear her and the doors of the skybus closed with them inside. The Director came up behind her and grabbed her just as the bus lifted into the air and moved away.

Shepard woke up in the darkened hotel room two mornings after running away from home. She came back to the present and had to laugh at herself. Well, that was pathetic. She hadn't had that nightmare in decades. She hadn't even really thought about her foster parents much in decades. They never came back for her and she had stopped wondering why many years ago but she didn't need to be a Doctor of Psychology to figure out why she was thinking about them now. She was no longer a little girl trying to be good so that someone would love her but that fear of abandonment remained and it was the thing that was keeping her from being honest with her bondmate. But Liara deserved to know. It was time to stop running away like a frightened little girl.

Shepard was terrified that Liara would not, or rather could not, love her anymore if she knew what Shepard had done but she deserved to know the truth. She was afraid to look into Liara's eyes and not see the overpowering love she felt for Liara reflected back at her. But even if Shepard could never tell anyone else, Liara deserved to know the choice that Shepard had made and who she had really married. They could never have a real marriage if she didn't tell her everything. Shepard considered just going home but maybe it would be better if she told her away from their home. That way, Liara could go back home and Shepard could stay here. Maybe if Liara just couldn't love her anymore, she would still let her be part of Benezia's life. She knew that since they were not officially bonded under Thessian law, she had no legal rights to Benezia. But then, maybe Benezia would be better off without her. Shepard was incredibly attached to her daughter but Bene was young and would soon forget the human who had been in her life for just a few brief months. Shepard buzzed Liara. Liara answered immediately and came into view above her omnitool.

"Shepard?!"

"It's me Liara. I need …

"I'm so sorry Shepard! I didn't mean what I said. Please come home!"

Liara's voice was cracking and Shepard could see that she had been crying. Shepard felt strangely calm and her voice betrayed no emotion. She was just so drained after the last few days.

"Actually, I need to talk to you Liara. I think it's better if you came here."

"Okay. Where are you?"

"The Golden Goddess, room 723. Do you know where it is or do you want me to send the coordinates to your omnitool?"

"I know where it is. I'll be right there. Sit tight, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Don't rush, Liara. Please drive carefully. And if you could bring me a bag with some of my clothes and my credit chit, I'd appreciate it."

Liara's heart grew cold.

"Why…why do you need a bag? You aren't coming home with me?!"

Shepard watched as a tear ran down Liara's cheek. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I just keep hurting her.

"I don't know that yet. I have only the same clothes that I left the house in and I want to change. It doesn't mean anything."

"Okay. I'll be right there."

"Drive careful. See you soon."