I don't own Mass Effect, or Shepard would have more than 5 outfits throughout the entire second game. Kasumi or someone really needs to drag her to a mall.

Ok, I started this chapter ages ago and never got around to finishing it. But I figure 8 chapters is a long enough wait to actually post it. Besides, I have a small amount of Writer's block on how to finish the story, so I figured this was a good way to pass the time.


It was lucky I had swallowed my mouthfull of beer, or I would have spewed it all over the table laughing.

"She rammed his head into a freaking tree?"

Ashley smiled. "Didn't have a scratch on her."

I shook my head. Hearing it in person made it that much funnier, even if I had heard it before. "She's definitely your sister. Note to self, never, ever piss off Ash or her relatives."

A flash of movement to my right caught my attention, but it was just a serviceman passing out from one too many drinks. Jeez, did the entire crew decide on Flux?

(Quit being so jumpy.)

)I've been in two bar fights in here already. Not eager for a third.(

*You'll excuse me if I don't entire believe that.*

)Ok, not wanting a third while I'm on a date.(

*That's a little more honest.*

I looked around, and half the crew of the Normandy was here. But Shepard and Liara were noticeably absent. Shepard had finally been really hit by what happened to Kaiden.

According to rumor, his last words to her before leaving were that he wished things could have gone differently.

The Alliance would pay for his rehabilitation and disability pay, but his life would still be much worse.

I heaved a sigh without fully realizing it.

"Jason?"

"Sorry Ash, I was just thinking."

"About Alenko?"

I nodded.

"It wasn't your fault. You know that."

I accepted her words without comment, figuring that the attempt at reassuring might at least make her feel better. But I knew them as lies.

The clubs Music was suddenly drowned out by loud booming laughter from Wrex. I was amazed that even he could drink so much Ryncol and stay somewhat sober.

The way my luck's been going, I wouldn't be surprised if he got drunk, started shooting up the bar, and I had to be the idiot that stopped him.

(Emphasis on idiot.)

*Do you insult him after every thought?*

(Not every thought. Only 99.9999999999999999-)

)We get the idea.(

(9999999 Percent.)

*Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.*

I decided to change the subject. "Wait, is that who you were talking to comm channel that one time?" I smiled. "You know, the one that called me the-"

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again."

"I don't remember any such thing. And my memory is almost perfect."

"It was a nonverbal agreement."

"Uh-huh."

She rolled her eyes. "So how about you talk for a bit?"

"What?"

"You've been just listening to me for the past half hour. Anything interesting about yourself?"

I laughed. "I wish I had some boring story to tell you." My smile faded. "But I guess there's a price for everything. Get the superpowers, lose the memories."

Her smile faded as well. "Oh. Right."

There was a pungent silence.

(Wow, way to break the mood Romeo.)

)Says the guy that suggested I shoot her when she was refusing to talk to me.(

*He has a point.*

(I'd like to give him a point. Right in the eye.)

)That's my line!(

I blocked out the psycho.

Ash shrugged with an awkward half smile. "Guess that sort of killed the mood."

There was suddenly a loud crash as Wrex passed out on the floor.

We stared at him a moment.

"I don't care what Shepard says, someone besides me is carrying him back."

"Is that so Bourne?"

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

I turned to see Shepard standing behind me with a small smirk.

"Well, he's heavy enough when he isn't full of beer." I said, trying to backtrack.

Shepard sighed and sat down. "Well, Krogan can heal from a lot. Maybe he'll be back on his feet by the time we leave."

I laughed. "You assume anyone will be able to walk by the time we're leaving."

*You even think about getting super drunk…*

(Oh relax a little. He's had two beers, including that one. That's barely enough to-)

*Oh? Do you want him spilling all our secrets, then Cerberus or someone captures him and dissects him to figure out how we tick?*

Iron went quiet.

I frowned and pushed my drink a little farther away. "Huh, now I think about it, wonder what my tolerance for the stuff is. With all the modifications and whatnot."

"I still would not recommend risking it Bourne." Liara's voice startled me as she sat next to Shepard.

Ok, maybe I should cut myself off now. Last thing I need is to be surprised by some assassin or something.

I laughed. "I could say the same about you two. B Because I just know that Joker would film it and there's nothing even Shepard could threaten him with to-" I cut off as Shepard hit me full on with her death glare.

"Geez, tough crowd." I muttered, trying to wave a waitress over. Yep, time to switch to water.

(You're going to be feeling that tomorrow. Hahahahahahaha!)

I didn't even bother telling him to shut up.

"So, what were you two doing?" Shepard asked.

Ash shrugged. "I was just telling him about one of my sisters."

"I SAID GET ME A DRINK!" a familiar voice said. I turned, already sliding a knife from my pocket on instinct.

*You have got to be kidding me. What happened to be avoiding a fight?*

Sure enough, it was the same Batarian as before.

) I guess he didn't get the lesson the first time. ( I sighed. "I'll be right back." I said, pushing away my chair.

"LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID TWO EYES!" The guy was yelling so loud I barely even had to try to be stealthy to get behind him. The Waitress looked terrified, for good reason.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

I whistled, startling him, and he spun around. I smiled. "It's not who you are that matters, it's who I am."

"BACK OFF HUMAN! THIS DOESN'T CONCERN-" I cut him off with a kick right in the fork of his legs. He made a very satisfying groan as he doubled over.

(Dude! That's just cold!)

)It's payback for when he did it.(

(But still…. Eh, you should have used Biotics. That would have been better.)

) God damnit! Why didn't I think of that?(

*Why did it have to be me getting stuck here? Why couldn't it have been Blade?*

I crossed my arms. "Word of advice. Next time you fight a Spectre, don't do that to him. Because then he'll hold a grudge and do it to you."

He looked up, tears welling in the corner of all four eyes. I saw recognition dawn on his face.

"You." His voice was low, but filled with more anger than it had been before. "You're the one that ruined me. My reputation is gone. I'll kill you!"

He went for his gun, but I planted my knife in his arm before it even got close. He yelled, his arm now hanging uselessly at this side.

"Uh huh. Tell you what. If you give up now, I'll just have C-sec arrest you. If you keep fighting, I'll beat you senseless, then have C-sec arrest you." I said, cocking my head to the left again.

He growled and went to do an eye gouge, but I just slapped his arm away. Geez, this guy is totally out of it. I barely pushed him and he stumbled back.

*Like I said, if you ever get that drunk-*

)We have to go to Noveria tomorrow, why would I be dumb enough to risk a hang-over?(

(With you, it wouldn't surprise me.)

"So that's how you want to play it." I said, flaring my fingers out.

Getting hit in one eye would hurt. Getting hit in both eyes would be excruciating. But when a guy gets hit in four eyes with four Biotically powered fingers- I had never heard anybody scream so loud.

He fell to the ground, clutching at his face.

I actually felt sorry for him. So I lifted him off the ground with my Biotics, then slammed him head first into the ground, knocking him out.

I wiped my hands together like I was cleaning mud off of them. "That was almost too easy."

"Then maybe you'll have more fun with me." A new voice behind me said. I rolled to the side, already drawing my pistol. I narrowly avoided a Headbutt from the giant Krogan, in the same style of armor as the Batarian. Why are Krogan always trying to kill me? Why can't it be something less hard to kill? Like if every salarian ever had a death wish against me, that I could do. But Krogan are just a pain.

"Back off unless you want to end up like him."

"You aren't so tough human."

"You sure act confident for a guy with a hole in his head."

His face twisted in confusion. "Did you have too much to drink? Krogan don't have holes in their heads."

"And if you want to keep it that way, I suggest you leave before I lost my temper."

*Ok, that was actually pretty good.*

(You've definitely had worse lines. Way worse.)

He just laughed, and ran at me. I barely even had to aim, and my explosive rounds tore through his head. His corpse stumbled to the ground inches from my feet.

"Hey, I warned you."

I noticed a group of different species, also in blue suns armor. I glared in their direction, stopping a few in their tracks.

"Listen up. I've had a long day. I'm not in the mood to fight. And if I do fight, you'll end up like him. But if you think you're tough enough, I'm more than happy to prove you wrong." I flared my Biotics for emphasis. Most of them scrambled for the door.

A few didn't, but they were clearly drunk. I shook my head and holstered my gun.

"You really shouldn't have done that." I turned around, biotics forming a barrier around me.

What does it take to keep this guy down?

(Have to give him credit for persistence.)

The guy was holding his hand over three of his eyes, clearly still in pain. He glared at me with his remaining eye, though it was still swollen half shut.

"If you have any brains at all…then again, if you had brains at all, you wouldn't have done a repeat of last time. But if you don't want to end up just as dead as him, I suggest you give up"

He laughed. "That's the nice thing. I don't have anything left to lose." He sprinted over to the bar, leaping over the counter. My gun flew into my hand, but he was moving too fast for me to hit. He grabbed the waitress, pushing her head into the counter and pinning it there with his gun.

"She, on the other hand… If you don't want to see her die, drop the gun."

Crap crap crap crap crap.

*Ok, just stay calm."

"I SAID DROP THE GUN!"

I swore, but I lowered the gun, and slid it towards him on the floor.

"Now, stay right there. And if I see any Biotics, I paint the bar with her brains."

I narrowed my eyes, but I kept my Biotics in check. "And if you do, I'll force feed you a singularity. I'd like to see you bounce back from that."

He laughed, and I realized that he had gone completely insane. I had dealt enough with Iron to recognize symptoms.

(Oh come on, I would never do that! I would have killed her way before now. Actually, I would have started killing everyone by now. Probably do them in order, maybe tallest to shortest. Or by age. But then I'd have to do all the Asari first or all of them last, and then I'd look racist. But I'm not, I like killing all races equally.)

So he wasn't nearly as crazy as Iron, but he was still a threat.

"Didn't you hear what I said about having nothing left to lose? But if I can beat you, I get my respect back. I get my life back. So, here's what's going to happen. You're going to use your Spectre Status to procure a ransom for her. " He laughed harshly again. "Oh, you are just pathetic. You are completely in my power now."

)Wow. Having a hostage really goes to a guy's head.(

*Will you focus?*

)What the hell can I do? Knives are useless at this range without Biotics, and he'd see me grabbing one anyway.(

*Improvise. If you can distract him, maybe you can throw a glass or something at him.*

I nodded, still trying to figure a way out.

"Oh Bourne, you are so weak. I don't know how-" His words were cut off by a sudden explosion of blood and brain matter originating from where his head used to be, and by the waitress' scream. I followed the trajectory back to my table, and to Shepard.

"That's why he has me as backup." She commented, holstering her smoking Pistol.

The Waitress looked at the corpse and passed out.

"Well, we can't all be crack shots like you." I justified, biotically retrieving my pistol. "And why'd you have to kill him?"

"I would have liked to avoid it, but only wounding him would have been-"

"No, I mean that I wanted to kill him. That bastard was starting to get on my nerves."

She groaned. "Why can't I just have one night without you getting in a fight?"

"You're the one that joined us, not the other way around. You could have gone to Chora's den instead."

She glared at me.

"Wow, I didn't even think about it that time. But it's not like the girls in here are dressed much differently than the Asari over there."

"You're just digging yourself deeper."

"I'll shut up now."

Fhflff

Shepard sighed, while Bourne laughed at his own joke.

"Bourne, that isn't even remotely true."

"That's sort of the whole point."

"I just want you to know that I realize you're a little buzzed, which is why I'm not punching you for saying that."

"Geez, don't you ever crack a smile?"

"Not from your jokes."

"Oh, I'm wounded."

"You should probably have Chakwas look at that then." Ash said with a smile.

Bourne laughed even harder at that, and Shepard fought back another sigh.

Ashley and Bourne were clearly… Shepard couldn't quite think of what it was. Not that they didn't seem to love each other, but something said that Bourne was hesitant about it somehow. Shepard didn't understand how that could be, considering how Bourne seemed to broadcast it to the squad.

Maybe it's because of the rules against that sort of relationship? But that still didn't seem right. Bourne wouldn't care about something like that. And Shepard hadn't quite said it outright, but he seemed to know that she wouldn't report it. Privately, Shepard had never understood the rule. Knowing that you could rely on someone so deeply had probably saved lives. Shepard had seen it a few times.

But on the other hand, the loss that could happen… Shepard often had nightmares about losing Liara. God, she had nightmares about almost everyone she'd lost, and she hadn't been in love with them.

I guess that's just the life of a marine.

"Earth to Shepard. Or I guess, Citadel, to Shepard. You still there?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "What, I can't think about something without you butting in?"

"Depends on what you were thinking."

"Bourne, if you crack one more joke like that-"

"Wow, two unintentional jokes in one night. That must be a record."

"If you keep talking, You'll set a record for most bones broken in one minute by a friend."

"Well with a friend like you, who needs enemies?"

"And yet you've gotten into a fight every time you've been in here."

Bourne scowled, but he didn't argue.

"And come to think of it, you were actually the one that started this fight."

He kept scowling, and Shepard realized he was looking behind her.

She turned, but didn't immediately see what Bourne was glaring at.

"Looks like she got a new camera." Bourne muttered. Shepard then noticed the floating drone, and the annoying woman standing nearby.

"Did I miss something?" Ashley said, looking between the two.

"Short version: She pissed me off when she interviewed us. So I punched a hole through her camera. If she comes over here…"

As if summoned by the unfinished threat, the reporter turned their way, and recognition dawned on her face.

"Why did I have to go and jinx myself like that?" Bourne muttered.

"For the record Bourne, as long as you don't kill her, I'm probably fine with it." Shepard said, remembering how the bitch had gotten to her. Shepard had only frozen like that a handful of times, but never in the public eye.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"It also can't be too permanent."

"Ok, I can still work with that." Bourne shrugged, seeming to resign himself to having this conversation.

"Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, westerlund news."

"Yeah, I know. Is that a new camera?" Shepard said with a small smile. Her eyes though, were saying "Back off before you get hurt."

Al-Jilani glanced at Bourne, who seemed to be bored. Shepard could tell he was really just trying to keep from punching her or something.

"Yes. But that's in the past. I'm more curious about what happened just now. Could I have a few words?"

Bourne chuckled. "I'll give you two: Get lost."

"Now now Bourne, that sounds like censorship to me."

"No, I'm just being uncooperative. Censorship would be… well, it's complicated, but let's just say it would be less fun for you than for me. It would also hurt you more than me. Well, actually, it wouldn't hurt me at all. Unless I'm somehow allergic to your blood. Then I might get hurt."

She backed away a few steps.

Shepard sighed. "I'm willing to answer a few questions, but when I decide it's over, it's over."

"Yeah, see how long that lasts." Bourne muttered. "Just tell me when you want me to-"

"Bourne…"

"Fine, fine. Offer stands though."

She activated the camera, zooming in on Shepard's face. "Commander, less than an hour ago, you and your partner each shot and killed people that appeared to be innocent bystanders. Is this the sort of response the Alliance can expect from Spectres?"

Shepard glanced at Bourne. His eyes were glowing, and almost locked onto the reporter's face like he wanted to punch it in. Not that Shepard could really blame him.

"Might want to check your facts there." Bourne said, faking a smile, and somehow looking like he didn't want to kill her. "First off, I'd dealt with that same Batarian before. I warned him last time. His fault for not learning his Lesson. As for the Krogan, he attacked me."

"So you feel justified using lethal force for such small matters."

"Oh cut the crap. We all know you're just trying to make us look bad as revenge for last time." Bourne said, losing the fake smile.. "How you even still have a job there is beyond me."

"Bourne, you aren't helping." Shepard hissed.

"Relax Shepard, her camera's been off since she got over here."

"What?" Everyone at the table echoed.

"There's a button on the side to turn it off. A little bit of Biotics, and boom. She just wasted her own time."

"That's easy enough to correct." The reporter sneered, turning the camera on.

"Whatever."

Bourne's eyes glowed again, and this time Shepard caught the subtle movement on the side of the machine.

But Al-Jilani noticed as well. Glaring at him, she activated the machine.

"You know I'm not going to give up so easily?"

"Lady, you're talking to the king of being stubborn."

"I see. Am I also speaking to the king of lack of restraint?"

"Depends on how I feel that day."

"Well, considering the double murder you just committed-"

"Actually, since I was exercising my authority as a Spectre, not murder. Also, I only killed the Krogan. Shepard's the expert shot that brought down the other one."

"Oh, is that true commander?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Obviously. Bourne can barely hit the broadside of a cruiser."

"That's why I have the Biotics." Bourne said with a small smile.

"No, that's why you have me to watch your back."

"By my count, I've saved your life just as often."

Al-Jilani snapped her fingers, getting their attention. "If I can get back to the interview: What do you have to say about the rumors that you two are in a relationship?"

Shepard and Bourne just stared at her, then at their respective girlfriends.

Then they looked at each other, seeing their shock mirrored on the other's face.

Then they started laughing, Shepard doubling over, and Bourne slamming his fist on the table.

"So is that a yes?" She asked smugly.

They both went instantly to glare mode, Shepard's eyes burning purple, and Bourne's glowing blue.

"No." Shepard said in a tight voice.

"Yeah, Shepard's not my type. The weird glowing purple eyes are sort of a-"

"Excuse me, did you seriously just "Weird glowing eyes?" Because that's seriously hypocritical."

"No, I said "Weird glowing Purple eyes." My weird glowing eyes are blue. And I make it look good."

Ashley laughed, then tried to hide it with a cough.

"Would you care to comment?" The reporter asked, shoving a microphone in her face.

The microphone promptly turned blue and hit her in the eye. She stumbled back cursing.

Shepard turned the full force of her death glare on her fellow Spectre. "Bourne…"

"It was not me that time."

"You'll forgive me for being skeptical."

"Yeah, guess I have to. If I didn't know better, I'd be blaming me too."

"Who else could it be?"

Bourne suddenly seemed very interested in his drink, which he hadn't touched in almost an hour. And he was deliberately not looking at… The only other Biotic at this table.

Shepard couldn't help it, she looked at Liara, who seemed to be trying to hide a smile that was both guilty and triumphant.

But the bitch noticed it too. Still holding her rapidly blackening eye, she turned to her, focusing the camera on her.

Shepard felt a cold hand grip her stomach. She wasn't embarrassed about being with Liara, but many people weren't quite so accepting. She was one of the people humanity looked up to, but how would mothers react to their children admiring… well, Bourne was right about that monogendered explanation being total BS.

"You seem awfully quick to defend Shepard. Care to comment?"

"Not to you, no." Liara asked in a voice surprisingly strong.

"It seems too strong to be coincidence that you were also with Commander Shepard during the last interview."

"If you're trying say something, just say it." Shepard growled.

"Well, I've heard from a few inside sources that you're in a relationship with someone on the ship. And since it isn't Bourne..." She trailed off, smiling in satisfaction. "Imagine how the Alliance will take this."

Bourne chuckled.

"Would you like to comment Bourne?"

". I turned your camera off again when she smacked you with that microphone. But just turning if off is getting Boring."

His gun was in his hand in an instant, blowing apart the camera with an explosive shot.

"There, that's better. Hmm, three me, camera zero. But if you want to have a rematch sometime, just let me know." He holstered his gun, turning back to his drink.

"You son of a bitch!" She yelled, drawing back a fist, and sending towards Bourne's face.

His own fist swung up to intercept it. His other fist went right into her gut. She doubled over, gasping for breath.

"You know the nice thing about that? You attacked me, the Spectre, so there's literally nothing you can do about that. Hell, I could have Youarrested if I wanted to."

"Bourne, normally, I'd yell at you, but I can make an exception today."

He stood up, towering over the still in pain reporter. "Yeah, and I normally don't hit women. But I make an exception for reporters. And Hypocrites."

"Excuse me?" She gasped, still doubled over.

"You heard me." Bourne said, lifting her into the air Biotically.

"What are you doing?"

"You clearly didn't the message last time." He said, watching her float slowly towards the ceiling.

"Bourne, stop. This is too far." Shepard said, standing up and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"You said nothing permanent physically." He said as she began to fall. She screamed as she fell, and Shepard felt her adrenaline kick in.

"But you never said anything about mental." Bourne said, stopping the Reporter only inches from the ground.

He lifted her in front of him again. "I hope you get the message this time. Next time I might not be able to stop you in time. And you'd make a big mess if that happened."

He let her fall, sending her falling on her ass. "And let me be perfectly clear. You mess with Shepard, you mess with me. And messing me, is a mistake."

"You son of a bitch. I'm making sure your career is over. Someone here would be willing to testify."

"I'm a Spectre. Even the best Asari lawyer wouldn't be dumb enough to touch that case. And besides…" he trailed off, laughing. "Well, let's just say I know I could get a certain vid from the Shadow Broker that would ruin your own career. Hypocrite."

"You're bluffing."

"You really want to try it, go ahead. Worse comes to worse, I can always go with plan B and just kill you."

The reporter blanched. "You're insane."

"Whose really the insane one here? The one making threats, or the stupid bitch ignoring the threats?"

She got up, and brushed herself off. "You might have won this round-"

"Will you just get lost before I decide to just shoot you? Cause that's starting to seem like a better option all the time." He sighed, sitting back now. "God, I need a drink."


And here it is, a little late. But I've been trying to work this out for weeks, and when inspiration hit, I said, why not?

Next actually chapter should be out soon. Weekend at the latest I hope. Then I can go back to the beginning. I'm completely changing it. As in deleting the first chapter and completely redoing without anything staying the same. And maybe doing that in a few other places, though I'm trying not to pull a George Lucas and completely undermine the whole story.

Which is hypocritical, since I'm glad Bioware is sort of doing that to the end. But let's face it, we all are.