Tauriel found herself restless in Lothlórien.
She knew part of the reason was the tension she felt anytime Galadriel was near. Try as she might, she could not shake her dislike of the elleth, in spite of knowing her to be distant kin. Coming to terms and finding peace with the Lady of Light's part in what had driven her to run from Bard was going to take a lot longer than a few days.
Bard was another reason for her unrest. She continued to worry about how she would be received when she arrived in Dale. How he would react to the news of their child—who was already starting to show, her lower abdomen having become more rounded and pronounced as she was soon to enter her fifth month. Through the bond she could feel that he was worried about something, but she had no idea what concerned him. She'd made a few tentative attempts to contact him but had received no response.
She could not say for certain if it was because he could not hear her due to the distance still between them or if he was ignoring her.
As much as it hurt to think on it, if Bard was ignoring her, she knew she deserved it.
After seven days in the Golden Wood, Tauriel could stand it no longer and knew she had to move on, though the plan had been to stay another week. She packed up what few belongings she had and readied her horse. Thêllenn seemed to recognize that they were soon to depart, as the Meara pranced excitedly in her stall next to the gelding she had been riding as Tauriel was putting on his tack.
Ranárë came to her in the stable and announced that she would not be going on to Mirkwood with her. Though it had been more than two and a half millennia since last she was there, facing the King of the Woodland Realm was something she was not ready to do.
"Meeting Legolas again in Arnor was easy, as he had only the barest memory of me," she said. "And you can call me a coward if you like, but I just can't do it. Given what transpired last time he and I were in the same room, I daresay Thranduil is no more ready to see me than I am to see him."
With Ranárë choosing to stay behind, Elladan and Elrohir elected to remain with her. Tauriel was not surprised by that in the least, though she was when Bronwë also chose to stay behind. The twins, not wanting to leave Tauriel and Laivindil with only Melvar for an escort, spoke to their grandparents about providing additional security. Before Lothlórien's lord and lady even had chance to query their guards, Laivindil's adoptive parents spoke up, saying they would join the three as they continued on their journey—the young Ranger would return with them once Tauriel and Laivindil were safely seen to Thranduil's halls.
After heartfelt goodbyes to Arwen and the twins, a handshake with Ranárë and Bronwë, and a cordial salute to Celeborn and Galadriel, Tauriel climbed up on her horse. When the others had finished their goodbyes, the group departed.
They kept a steady pace from dawn until dusk each day. There were thankfully no issues crossing the marshes in Gladden nor the river as Tauriel had experienced with Bard's company on the way south; thanks to the heat of late summer, the marshes were fairly dry and the river level low. When they reached the village of Halken and found it a ruin, Tauriel immediately jumped down from the saddle and called out the names of everyone she remembered until Tirinwë, Laivindil's father, pointed out that the devastation surrounding them was several weeks old.
His wife Ceridwen then drew her attention to a series of graves, the earth on top of them not covered with burnt grass. Tauriel knew then that they had been dug about the time the buildings had been burned, which meant that someone, at least, had survived. She took small comfort in that knowledge, and after saying a prayer over the graves, she once more seated herself on the gelding's back. The others followed suit and they were on their way again, the ebony Meara plodding along at Tauriel's side.
Nine days after departing Lothlórien, the small company at last reached the west gate of Mirkwood. Melvar made a comment on how "creepy" the place looked, then appeared afraid that Tauriel would take offense to his comment. She surprised him by laughing and agreeing, though when she turned away again her expression sobered. No doubt Thranduil knew by now that she had left Bard's company; she was certain her husband had been back in Dale since about the time she had arrived in Lothlórien, and as he was friendly with the Elvenking, it was reasonable to assume some contact between them had been made since then.
Her reception here was yet another concern, though she worried over it far less than that she would receive in Dale in a few days.
The group had been walking along the elf path which skirted the enchanted river for a couple of hours when suddenly they found themselves face to face with a company of Guards on horseback. Feren was at the fore of the five, and he alighted from his horse the moment he realized whom he was facing.
"Mae g'ovannen, Feren," Tauriel greeted him.
Feren did not return her greeting—in fact, he appeared quite angry as he strode toward her. "Where the hell have you been?!" he demanded. "Alaren informed the king near three weeks ago that Lord Bard of Dale told her you'd left the company months back. Had it not been for Lady Galadriel sending a message by falcon you were on your way, no doubt he'd have sent out a search party before long. Lord Thranduil has foolishly worried for you more than his own son these last weeks."
Tauriel frowned, more annoyed with Galadriel's interference—yet again—than the fact that Feren had just yelled at her as though she were a child, when in fact she was not only older than he by nearly a hundred years but also his superior in the Guard.
Or she had been.
Before she could make any response, Thêllenn walked forward and straight up to the angry elf before them. She stepped so close to him that he was forced back several paces.
"What the devil is this horse doing?" he asked.
From the corner of her eye, Tauriel noted Laivindil throwing a haughty glare his way, and Tirinwë moved his horse up beside his daughter's. "I would say she is taking exception with how you greeted Lady Tauriel, young man. The Meara has taken an exceptional like to her and is quite protective," he said.
The bewildered look that crossed Feren's face made Tauriel want to laugh, so she bit her bottom lip to keep from doing so. "Do not fret over him, Thêllenn. Feren is merely very loyal to his king. Leave him be," she called out to the ebony mare.
She then looked to Feren and said, "Where I have been and what I have endured is a tale I will share, perhaps, but not now. Why are you here, if I may ask?"
Feren looked up as Thêllenn turned to walk away from him, though he was not quick enough to dodge the flick of her thick tail and was treated to a well-placed thwap across the right side of his face. The ellon frowned, then turned his gaze to Tauriel. "Based on Lady Galadriel's message as to when you departed Lothlórien, His Majesty estimated you would reach our home on this day or the next. My company and I were to meet with you and escort you and your companions to the palace."
As if she didn't already know the way, Tauriel mused. Does he think to ensure I actually arrive there instead of passing him by?
Aloud she said, "It is most kind of Lord Thranduil to send additional protection for us. Thank you for coming."
Feren gave a curt nod before returning to his horse and climbing back into the saddle. He was silent, as were those that had accompanied him, as they turned around and began to lead the way further into the woods. Tauriel shrugged and urged her mount to follow. Several hours later, when night had fallen and little could be seen more than a few feet ahead, the group of ten made camp for the night. It was not until she had dismounted and a good fire was going that the elves in Feren's group took note of Tauriel's pregnancy.
Feren seemed more surprised than the others. "When did this happen?" he asked her. "Surely it cannot belong to the dwarf."
Tauriel took a breath before responding in order to keep her temper under control. Her tone when she spoke was clear indicator that he'd overstepped, though her voice was even when she replied. "Firstly, Lieutenant, my child is not an 'it'. Secondly, the dwarf of which you speak had a name. It was Kíli—show the dead some respect and actually use it when next you speak of him. And no, the child is not his."
She said nothing more on the subject and retreated to her bedroll, where she carefully lowered herself to the ground and took the fruit and water offered to her by Laivindil with a smile. It was obvious Feren and the others wished to know more, for certainly they could see that she was bonded—it was much more apparent to her kin the closer she was to her mate, and resonated more strongly in the back of her own mind.
Oh Bard, Tauriel thought with a sigh. How I hope you will be pleased to see me…
