Buttered-up paranoia
"Good morning." Rory sat down on the edge of the bed Saturday morning, placing a quick kiss on Jess' cheek.
"Morning." Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer to him, smiling. "Where have you been?"
"Out getting breakfast."
"Why?" He mumbled again, pushing her down on the mattress while he moved his body up at the same time, holding himself up on his arms, slightly to the side of her. "Wasn't there some sort of mention of you spending all weekend in bed?"
"I thought you would be sleeping." She replied, lifting her head slightly and kissing the tip of his nose. "I wanted to do something nice for you."
"Something nice would have been waking me up by..."
"Don't finish that thought." She laughed, kissing him again. "Pig."
"Uh-huh." Tracing kisses down her jaw and neck, he smirked. "So, this breakfast of yours…?"
"Can wait."
"Good call." He smirked again, making her chuckle.
"No." Catching her hand, Jess kept Rory in bed, stopping her from getting up again.
"Breakfast!" She fought back, laughing. "I'm going to be two minutes, I'm sure you can deal with it."
"Nope. Can't." He sighed, trying to sound as dramatic as possible. "I'll die."
"Aw, that's a shame." She giggled again as he tightened his grip on her.
"Hear that, kid? This is how much she cares about me." Jess sighed again, moving closer and placing a small kiss on her stomach. "She doesn't even care if I die."
"I'm a busy woman, I can't concern myself with such trivial issues." Rory ran her fingers through his hair, sticking out her tongue. "Now behave while I go get food. Because, even if you're not hungry, I'm feeding two here and your daughter is very insistent on the issue."
"She's blaming you, huh?" Jess chuckled, trailing more kisses on her bump. "She can't even be a grown up and accept responsibility." He shook his head as his wife laughed again, still trying to pull his hand out of his grip.
"No. I can't. I'm terrible like that. Now can I please go downstairs and get food before I starve to death?"
"Only if you promise you'll be back as soon as humanly possible."
"Promise."
"And I fall for her lies again, kid." He chuckled, placing one last kiss on her bump before letting go of her hand.
"You poor thing." Standing up, Rory ruffled his hair, smiling down at him. "Want food?"
"Yes."
"And coffee?"
"Yes."
"Anything else?"
"You."
Smiling softly, she bit her lip. "You're being excessively silly this morning."
"I was promised a whole weekend in bed. You must not break a promise. Really, it's in the marriage rule book."
"Fine. I'll be back in five minutes with food and then I'm not leaving you again until lunchtime."
"I'm starting to think food is more important to you than I am."
"Took you long enough to realize it." She laughed, heading for the door.
A few minutes later, she walked back in the room, balancing a tray in her hands before setting it on the bed, letting out a breath.
"Managed to not spill anything."
Grabbing the tray form her, Jess waited for her to sit down in bed, curling her legs under her before grabbing a coffee cup.
"There's real coffee in the other one."
"You've seriously made two different pots of coffee?"
"I bought it and reheated it." She shrugged, smiling. "Now shush and eat your breakfast."
"Yes, dear."
Walking into the office, much later that night, Rory found Jess sitting in the arm chair and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, smiling.
"How's the writing going?"
"Mostly procrastinating and browsing the internet." He put his laptop on the side table, looking up at her.
"In the name of research, I assume."
"Research, yes. I like anything that doesn't make me sounds lazy."
"Anything I can get for you?"
"Nope." Pulling her towards his lap, he smirked when she tried to fight him off, slapping his hands away from her waist.
"Jess, I'm too heavy." She shook her head, using her hand to push herself away from him.
"Shut up." He chuckled, rolling his eyes and she finally let him take her down, wrapping her arm around his neck. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing."
"So you're buttering me up for nothing?" He placed a small kiss on her shoulder, his hand holding her legs while the other was wrapped around her waist. "What, do you have a new guy or something?" He smirked, kissing her shoulder.
"Yes. I've been trying to find a way to tell you."
"I'm not sure how I should reply. I bet he's not as good looking as I am, though."
"Oh, I don't know, he's not bad." Rory giggled, leaning closer and kissing him softly. "I'm mostly just working off the guilt." She admitted, laughing again. "I haven't exactly been greatest wife material lately, so I wanted to at least try and make it up to you."
"Huh."
"No huh-ing me." She shook her head, placing more kisses on his lips. "And don't say anything either. There's no downside to this for you, so just let me do whatever I can to make you happy." She ruffled Jess' hair and he nodded.
"Ok."
"That easy?"
"What, I'm going to object after being told not to?" He argued, smirking.
"Good choice." She grinned, kissing him again before trying to pull herself up.
"Nope. I want you here. It would make me very happy."
Rolling her eyes, Rory tried to shift her weight as far from him as she could before messing up his hair again. "Whatever."
"The love, ladies and gentlemen. You can just feel it."
"Your turn to shut up." She covered his mouth with hers, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Walking into the kitchen on Thursday evening, Jess wrapped her arms around Rory, placing a small kiss on her neck.
"Hey."
Twisting her head back, she smiled, kissing him quickly. "Hi. Twenty six weeks."
"Yeah, I know. How are you holding up?"
"Kidding me? Baby now has a ninety percent chance of surviving. I'm way more than good."
"Paranoid much?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, who was up a few days ago, reading on viability ages?"
"Just…checking my facts." He shrugged, trailing kisses on her shoulder.
"Sure. You're not a sap at all." Rory laughed, turning around in his arms and placing a small kiss on his lips. "How was your day?"
"Would have preferred being in bed with you, but I'll take what I can get."
"Matt will be disappointed to hear he's not top of your list of priorities."
"I'm sure even he realizes that the wife and kid come first." He smirked, looking down. "Yes, we're talking about you. Sheesh, she's strong."
"Yeah, tell me about it." Rory laughed, kissing the tip of his nose. "Though I seriously miss being able to hug you without her in the way."
"I miss doing other things without her in the way." He cocked an eyebrow, chuckling when her cheeks turned the smallest bit redder. "How can you still blush over stuff like that?"
"It's stupid, I know." She bit her lip, looking down again and Jess cupped her face in his hand, smiling.
"It's endearing."
"You sure?" She pouted slightly and he nodded, laughed again.
"Yeah." He placed a small kiss on her forehead. Her expression suddenly changing to a grimace, she took a quick, sharp breath as her hand moved to her bump. Moving back, Jess looked at her, concern written on his face. "You ok? Did I hurt you or something?"
Shaking her head, she took a couple of breaths, holding a finger on the other hand up, motioning for him to wait.
"Ror.…"
Letting out another breath, she let go, looking more relaxed. "Sorry."
"You're really good at freaking me out, you know that, right?"
"I didn't mean to."
"I know." Seeing her attempt at a smile, Jess moved closer, wrapping his arms around her. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah. It just…hurt." Changing her mind, Rory shook her head. "Actually, not really hurt. More crampy, less pain."
"Do you want to go to the ER or something?"
"Can I just sit down instead?"
"Sure. Water?"
"Yeah." She nodded, still biting her lip as he moved his hand around her waist, picking up her hand with his other one and draping it over his shoulders, trying to hold her up as well as he could as he headed towards the living room, after a quick glance at the chairs. As soon as they reached the couch, he helped her sit down before crouching down in front of her, the concerned look still on his face.
"I'm going to go get you some water. Don't move."
"What, you think I'm going to go for a run?"
"I never know with you." He smirked before rushing towards the kitchen. Getting back a few seconds later, he handed her a glass of water, watching her grab it with both hands before drinking almost half of it. Crouching down next to her again, he put his hands on her knees, looking up at her.
"Feeling better?"
"Yes."
"Lie down." Rory tried to protest, but he glared at her, pretending to be menacing and she ended up laughing as she lied down, dropping the glass of water on the floor. "You sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?"
"Jess, I'm fine."
"Call the doctor?"
"Jess…" She rolled her eyes, giggling. "You're being overprotective."
"Nuh-uh. You don't get to say that."
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh, how nice, she's concerned about me." He chuckled again, squeezing her hand in his before placing a quick kiss on her fingers. "Are you absolutely sure you're ok?"
"Yes."
"How absolutely sure? I mean on a scale from one to ten...?"
"Twenty."
"That's not on the scale." He poked her in the ribs gently, releasing a breath as he slouched his shoulders, finally more relaxed. "At least call your mom, if only to make sure I don't go completely gray in the next ten minutes. She may not have a medical degree, but since you're being your usual stubborn self, it's the least you can do for me."
"Fine." She smiled, extending her hand and ruffling his hair. "Only because I like your hair the way it is."
"Thank you." Rory tried to move up, but he glared at her, shaking his head. "Don't even dare."
"Jess, I'm fine."
"The smallest sign that you're not, and I am dragging your butt to the ER so quickly you'll think I turned into fucking Superman and flew you there."
"I love you." She called after him, making him smile as he handed her his phone.
"I know. Call your mom, I'll be in the kitchen, getting your dinner done. Get off the couch at your own risk."
"I'm a prisoner!"
"Yes. Now stop annoying me and call Lorelai."
"I'm fine!" She yelled again as he left the room, shaking his head slowly. Less than five minutes later, Jess walked back in the room as soon as Rory put the phone down.
"What did she say?"
"Were you eavesdropping, waiting for me to be done with the call?"
"Yes." He replied, dryly, making her laugh and shake her head.
"Should have let grandma buy us a mansion so I could hide from your insanity."
"Right. I'm the crazy one. So?"
"She says it's nothing to worry about, most likely just a Braxton Hicks contraction. And now you can finally get off my back."
"She still insists on calling them that ridiculous thing? What was it…double something?"
"Double T." Rory laughed when she saw him rolling his eyes. "Tony and Taylor."
"Right. Like the universe needs more proof that your mother should be seeing a shrink."
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Getting there." He admitted, running a hand through his hair. "Give me some time to recover."
"When I tell you you're crazy, you argue." She giggled again, looking at him. "Come sit down, crazy."
"I should go actually get started on dinner."
"What were you doing just now?"
"Pacing around, wishing I hadn't quit smoking." He smirked, walking to her and sitting down on the edge of the couch, close to her. "Are you sure you're fine?"
"Yes." She reassured him again, pushing herself up and kissing him. "Very sure. And please don't ask me again, because the circles we're going in are starting to make me dizzy."
Smiling, Jess nodded before kissing her again, his hand cupping her face. "I don't like you hurting."
"I know."
"I'll go make food." Lifting his head, he kissed her forehead, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Be good."
"By that you mean sit my butt on the couch?"
"I'd prefer it."
"Fine." Rolling her eyes, she sighed, making him smirk.
"You poor thing. Hard life I'm sentencing you to."
"Horrible actually." Laying back down, she grinned, rubbing his knee. "We can just call for dinner. This way, you can keep an eye on me, make sure I don't decide to practice my marathon runner skills."
"If you insist…" He chuckled, taking his phone back from her and moving to the other end of the couch, picking up her feet and placing them in his lap. "Chinese?"
"As long as you convince them to put bacon on anything."
"Oh, this is going to be fun." He smirked as he started dialing the number.
"Am I crazy?" Rory shot up in bed later that night, looking at Jess, who was still reading.
"What?" Putting his book down, he looked at her.
"I cannot do this!"
"Do what?"
"I cannot have this baby!" She pointed at her stomach, standing up and starting to walk around the room, while Jess kept looking at her.
"I'm sorry, but what the hell are you on about?"
"There is no freaking way I will give birth! No. Way." She shook her head furiously. "Are you insane? Am I insane? Are we both completely out of our minds? I don't like pain! I cannot freaking deal with pain! How the hell am I expected to squeeze a human being out of me?"
"Ror, you need to calm down."
"Calm down? Are you freaking joking? Unless you've found some way to magic Brett out of me, I will not calm down. I can't do this." She shook her head again and Jess stood up, walking to her. Putting his hands on her arms, he made her stop pacing, looking into her eyes.
"Calm down." He repeated.
"No!"
"Ok, panic until it's no longer real."
"You think that's gonna work?" She asked, a hopeful edge in her voice, making him chuckle.
"Doubt it."
"Jess, I can't do this."
Moving closer, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her as tightly as he could. "Yes, you can."
"No, I really can't. Things coming 'round the mountain? Not for me. This baby will have to either stay in there for ever or find some other way of getting out. That's it."
"So being pregnant for ever is a better alternative?"
"To giving birth? Yes, it is. Also, if you dare remind me I said that at any point in the future, I will cause you so much pain I'll make the Inquisition look like a walk in the park."
"Ok." He laughed, shaking his head. "What was that about coming 'round the mountain?"
"Long story. But I'm serious. There is no way in hell I can go through labor. Nuh-uh."
"I think you're about 6 months too late in reaching that conclusion."
"Well, if we'd put any thought into having this child, I would have figured it out. Seriously, I plan everything and this is the one thing that we let happen and now I have to do it because damn it, no one has figured out a way for you to be the pregnant one. Or for them to just zap her out of me or something." Shaking her head, she looked at him, teeth biting her lip. "I went crazy again."
"You're always crazy."
"This was Doublemint crazy."
"I doubt there was any pleasure in there. For either of us."
"Not much fun either." She shrugged, looking down at her stomach. "It's worth it, right? This whole baby thing?"
"So I hear." He smirked, kissing her softly. "I can't speak from experience, as I'm pretty sure there aren't any of my progeny walking the earth yet."
"There better not be. I think everyone's heads might explode if that happened. We'd be too Luke and Lorelai."
"Trust me, my head's the first one gone."
"So, if there's one thing we learned tonight, is that we're definitely not ready to be parents. Or at least I am not ready for the birthing thing. Don't get me started on dropping her on her head."
"Kid, you don't mind us completely botching your life, do you?" Looking down at her bump, he smirked. "Huh, no answer. I'll take that as an indication that she doesn't mind."
"Convenient." Grabbing his hand, she looked at the bed, trying to stifle a yawn. "I'll resume the pacing in the morning."
"Good choice." Moving back to his side of the bed, Jess waited for Rory to curl up next to him before turning off the lights, making sure she was covered with the blankets.
"You're not going to keep reading?"
"Tired." He kissed the top of her head, hugging her tighter. "Night."
"Night." After a few minutes of silence, she kissed his shoulder, hesitating slightly. "Jess…?"
"Huh?"
"Do you think we can do this?"
"Yeah." He nodded once, kissing the top of her head.
"Having absolutely no choice in the matter does help a lot, since I'm pretty sure there's no way Brett's going to have to be born eventually." She laughed at herself, shaking her head. "I love you, sleep well."
"Love you too."
