Note: You may have noticed "The Other Women" was deleted from this story. That's because I'm going in a new direction. I thought I had a bunch of years to kill, but it turns out that instead I have a lot of stuff that needs to happen right after Daniel's descension. So that story may be reposted later on, or not. I'm not sure yet. This is kind of a transitional chapter before we dive into the next BIG thing to happen in the Jacksons' lives.
"Dan'yel, we have not gone back to Abydos in a long time. Naima is starting to forget the language, and the younger two never knew it. I have also not seen my family it far too long. Can we go soon?" I ask him.
"Sure, Sha're," he tells me, "Just tell me the next time you have a long break in your classes, and we'll do it then."
"I have the day of your countries independence free," I inform him. I only have a few actual classes left to finish up in Chicago, and I am getting all of them done in the summer. After the first week in August, I will be done with all of my classes at school. Then we are going to move back to Colorado Springs. My husband will take over Jonas's role on SG-1 once more, and I will go back to being his assistant as I finish my dissertation.
The kids have already stopped going to day care. Daniel keeps them with him at the house while he is working on translations for the SGC. Naima really wants to go back to school in the fall. She loves public school. I keep trying to tell her that she doesn't have to do that. That soon I will be available to teach her again. I keep trying to explain that the only reason she ended up in school in the first place was because I was a single mother and that was the best I could do.
But she really likes it, and I think I am going to have to accept that my kids are going to grow up without any flecks of their home culture. I should have seen it coming. I should have known it was coming the day I followed Dan'yel through the Stargate like a lost puppy dog. It hurts a lot more than I expected, though.
"Ok, I'll make the call, and see if we can get a trip scheduled," Dan'yel says.
I few minutes later, I hear the sound of sobs coming from the room my husband disappeared into. He's slumped against the wall, sobbing with the phone still to his hear.
"Dan'yel! Are you ok? Do I need to call the doctors who ride the large car?" I ask desperately realizing I'd forgotten the phone number for the service. "What are the numbers?" I ask.
"911," Eshe says from behind me. Great, shown up by a little girl.
I start to take the phone from Daniel, but he's shaking his head, "Not hurt."
"What's wrong?" I ask.
He looks at the little girls.
"Girls! Go play in another room!" I command. They reluctantly, but quickly, obey.
"What happened?" I ask. "Who…" I can't say the words, but I can tell by my husband's reaction that someone has died.
"Abydos is gone," he says flatly.
"What do you mean, 'gone'? A planet can't just disappear, they must have…" I begin.
He shakes his head, "No, the planet is still there, but the people are gone."
"What happened?" I ask.
"And I was there… ascended me was there. I swear I don't remember anything. I just…" he stammers.
"Who are you talking to?" I ask.
"Walter," he says, "He thought I knew. They all thought I knew."
"Dad? Skaara?" I ask with sinking stomach.
He shakes his head.
"Who was there when it happened? Besides you?" I plead.
"SG-1," he mummers.
I grab the phone from him and dial Jack's number. He picks up the phone, sounding cheerful, and I hate to ruin his day. "Jack, Daniel didn't remember Abydos, so he and I are… just finding out, and I've got to know…. I need to know what happened."
There was silence for a long time on the other end of the phone. Then Jack lets out a long sigh, "I'm sorry, Sha're."
I try to bite back my tears. Jack is actually more ok with tears than a lot of men, but I know that tears are still going to decrease how much information I am able to get out of him. "Just tell me."
"They ascended, Sha're, if it makes you feel any better. I know you aren't a huge fan of the process, but it is better than death. Oma took them all off to happy-land. Skaara, he was right in my arms. He died the death of a warrior." Jack's voice chokes.
"My father?" I plead.
"I didn't see him die, but there was no one left, Sha're. No-one."
"Why didn't you tell me? If Daniel was ascended, this had to have happened while he was still dead. You should have called and told me."
"I know, and we should have called you right away. But we put it off for a little bit. And then we had good news to call you with. And we… I guess we really thought that Daniel would be the one to break the news to you. We should have known better. We should have known that he wouldn't remember, but I swear we didn't."
"Why did they die?" I ask.
"Anubis was holding them hostage, looking for some eye of Ra thing."
"So why didn't you just give it to him?" I ask.
The silence screams at me.
"Daniel told you not to, didn't he?" I accuse.
"Sha're, we don't know that Anubis wouldn't have killed them all anyway. He's done things like that before."
"My husband killed them!" I shout.
"No, your husband sacrificed everything trying to save them. That's how he got descended in the first place. He broke Oma's rules by trying to save the people of Abydos. He tried to take on Anubis by himself, Sha're. He would have done anything to save them."
"What is this thing that my people died for you to have?" I ask.
Silence.
"Jack?"
"Well, they think it's going to be useful…"
"But right now, it's nothing."
"Sha're!" Jack protests.
"No, my stupid husband made them die for nothing!" I shout into the phone.
My husband stands up and leaves the room. Something tells me that I should follow him, but I am just too angry right now. I'll follow him later when I have calmed down a little bit and am less likely to fight with him. Right now, I'm going to sit on the floor and sob.
"Jack, thanks for telling me. I'm going to hang up now," I tell him.
"Is there anything I can do for you? You want me to come up there for a couple of days?"
"No," I say. I don't want to see anything that has to do with the SGC right now. My people are dead because of their interference.
But I know that isn't quite fair. Ra was killing people long before they got involved. My mother and sister are testimony to that. If it weren't for them, this still probably would have happened. I just would have died with them.
I cry until I'm out of tears, and then I go to see how my husband is doing. I open up our bedroom to see that he's packed up the ratty duffle bags he had before we were married. The bags that used to carry everything he owned. He owns too much to fit in them now. He owns me. And he owns three little kids.
"Dan'yel?" I question.
"I'm sorry it's taking so long. I was just trying to find… pictures of the kids. I… I need pictures of them," he pleads.
"What are you doing? Are you leaving me?" I ask, with a feeling worse than a punch in my gut threatening to topple me.
"I killed them, Sha're. I killed your family, and your friends, and everyone you ever knew. You're worried that our kids are adopting too much of my culture. And I destroyed your culture. Every remnant of it."
"It wasn't your fault."
He closes his eyes for a long minute, and does that self-hug of his. One that I'd gotten out of the habit of seeing before he ascended, "Yes it was, Sha're. I'm starting to remember… bits and pieces. I got so focused on the stupid artifact that I forgot there were people involved."
"And then you risked everything in an attempt to save them," I point out.
"A failed attempt."
"But you tried, and Oma ascended them," I assure him.
"I'd forgotten that," he says, looking somewhat - but not completely - comforted.
"And in the balance of things, you've saved a lot more lives than you cost," I say, taking the bags from his hands, and setting them on the bed to unpack.
"You're forgiving me for the mass murder of your entire culture?" he asks.
"No, I'd have to forgive Anubis for that, and it's not happening. I'm forgiving you for not being perfect. You should try it yourself. Listen, you are a wonderful human being. I love you with all of my heart. And there is nothing," I turn his face toward me so he can't help but hear my words, "NOTHING, that would ever make me want you to use these bags. You are my husband, for better and worse. Just because I get angry or yell doesn't mean I want you to leave me. I never want you to leave me."
He pulls me into a hug, "I wasn't sure I'd survive without you and the kids," he whispers into my hair.
"Oh, Dan'yel, the kids! Can you imagine me trying to tell them that their Daddy left them? They'd never understand!"
"We're forever?" he asks, needing assurance.
And suddenly the husband of my first year on Earth is back. The one who constantly needs assurances. The one unable to grasp how amazing he is, even after all the times he's saved the world.
"Dan'yel, you are the most amazing person I've ever known," I assure him.
He looks at me with doubt in his eyes.
"And now you're going to have to listen to me list all the reasons I love you. You'd better sit down, this is going to take a while."
-0-0-0-
"Momma, something is wrong, and you gotsta tell us," Eshe demands, a couple of hours later. I know she is right, and I can't really put this off anymore.
"Ok, family meeting; let's all sit down," I say, pulling the two youngest onto my lap. Daniel pulls the oldest onto his.
"Your remember going to Abydos?" I ask. Naima nods her head yes, but the others shake their head no. "Well, everyone on Abydos died," I say quickly.
Naima looks panicked, "Grandpa? Uncle?"
"I'm sorry," Daniel says.
"How long are they going to be dead for?" Eshe asks.
Oh, the joys of having my husband work for the SGC. "They're going to stay dead."
"Honey, we don't know that for sure," my husband says.
Great job, honey. Confuse them a little more. Your reincarnation left them able to function in society, and we wouldn't want that now, would we? "Daniel," I warn out loud.
"Sweetie, they did ascend just like me. They probably wouldn't come back, but I don't want to say it's impossible."
My heart beats a little faster in delight.
"Daddy, what was it like to be ascended?" Eshe asks.
"I don't really remember much. And the things I do remember are not really about being ascended. But I do know this, any world in which I couldn't be with my family is not a world in which I want to be."
Eshe stares at him like he is crazy, "But Daddy, you were with us."
Naima rolls her eyes at her little sister, "Little kids forget fast. Eshe, Daddy was gone for a whole year. That's like forever! Remember, we came to live in Chicago with Mommy?"
"I know, and Daddy used to come and kiss us goodnight. Don't you 'member? It was like a hot sandy wind. And he smelled like… Daddy. And I knew that he loved us, and that he was going to watch over us."
My eyes are locked on my husband. Right now, I desperately need him to confirm this tale. I can tell by his face that he has no idea whether or not it has any truth to it. "I'm sorry, I don't remember that."
"It's ok, Daddy," Eshe says, giving him a smack on the cheek to ease his distress, "I 'member it for you."
And I really can't doubt my daughter any more. Especially since I remember feeling the desert wind and the smell of my husband.
"Dan'yel, you didn't leave us," I say, sobbing.
"No," he insists, "I could never leave my family."
"And so Drampa and Uncle are still around. They didn't leave us either," Eshe says with confidence.
"I just feel really bad," I tell them, "That all of you are going to have to grow up without any extended family. No grandparents or aunts or uncles."
Naima laughs, "What do you think our playgroup is? We've got family."
And you know what? She's right.
