"I'm sorry, run that by me again?"

"Lou, chillax."

"They're stealin' our bloody show, Percy! Shit's goin' down." Percy grinned and pulled his sister back.

"Behave."

"Make me." She challenged. Percy sighed, keeping a hold on her arm. Louisa landed a solid punch to his solar plexus, making him double up and letting her go while he struggled to breathe.

"Lou!" Annabeth protested, moving forward to Percy's side. Louisa held her hands out, a silent 'bring it'. Annabeth glared at her, but did nothing. She wouldn't dare.

"Overreacting much?" Max asked casually. He and Alvie were playing Black Ops 2, Nuketown zombies.

"Coffee shop." Louisa said simply. Max coloured slightly, frowned and stayed silent. He had been in big trouble for shouting at his ex-girlfriend, even though his parents admitted she kind of deserved it. The main reason he was in trouble because he could have ruined Tobias's chances of keeping his job.

Louisa looked back at Tobias and Sophia. "Stealin' our bloody gig." She muttered. "Ya disowned." She stated, glaring at Tobias before turning on her heel and moving over to the sofa, sitting down heavily next to Leo. She folded her arms and went on to pretend Tobias wasn't there.

"She's joking right?" Sophia quietly asked Tobias.

"Hard to tell." Percy stood up straight. "You OK, Dad?"

"I'm fine." Percy said thickly. He glared at his sister. "That hurt."

"Diddums." Louisa said, not looking round. Charlie clambered from his father's lap onto his mother's and held his arms out for a hug. "See, you're nice, ain't ya, Curls?" Leo cleared his throat pointedly, but that only gained him a sharp elbow to the ribs.

"Have you picked names yet?" Elsie asked. She and Alokia were sat either side of Max and Alvie and watching the zombie game progress.

"Nope." Elsie made to say something when she caught her mother glaring at her. She fell quiet, going for an innocent expression.

"Mama, be nice." Charlie said, putting his small hands either side of Louisa's face, making her look at him. He didn't really understand what was going on, but knew his mama was going to ignore Tobias.

"I'm not a nice person."

"Got that right." Tobias grumbled.

"Ooh, trash can talk."

"Mom, how long are you gonna keep this up?" Alokia asked quietly.

"As long as I bloody well want." Louisa replied simply. Alokia smiled and sat back.

"Mama, no!" Charlie protested. "You be nice and… and… Um…" Charlie looked at his father. Leo grinned and ruffled Charlie's curls.

"Percy, back me up here, bro. We're the only twins in this family."

"Not for much longer, sis."

"You could be the Big Twins." Annabeth suggested.

"We're the Twins. End of story."

"Lou, what are you gonna do?" Annabeth laughed. "Rewind time?" Louisa snapped her fingers and pointed at Annabeth. Annabeth cursed herself silently for giving Louisa ideas. "Lou, don't be mean."

"They started it." She argued, pointing at Sophia and Tobias accusingly, her eyes on Annabeth challengingly.

"Lou-"

"Nope."

"Lou-"

"Not listenin'."

"But-"

"Lalalala, not listenin'." Louisa said, covering her ears.

"Real mature."

"Lalalala…" Charlie repeated. "Not listening." He copied his mother, covering his ears. Leo smiled.

"Leo, do something." Annabeth pleaded. Leo looked at her expectantly, smirking. "I'll get you a new coffee machine for you birthday, just do something."

"Yes ma'am." Leo grabbed Louisa by the wrists and tried to pull her hands away.

"Nope." Louisa said stubbornly, twisting away from him. Charlie mimicked. "Charlie, get him." Charlie laughed and jumped up, colliding with Leo. The force of the impact had Leo sitting back suddenly and letting go of Louisa. She instantly jumped up and stood at her brother's side. Percy took a tentative side-step away from her, watching her warily. "What?"

"You hit me."

"Nothin' new."

"I hope our twins don't fight as much as these two." Sophia mumbled to Tobias. He smiled.

"You're gonna need a lot of hope. They don't stop fighting."

"I'm gonna write a list of all the nice kids in this family." Louisa said loudly. "The ones that I ain't disowned." She paused. "Yet." Her children, nephews and nieces all looked at her quizzically.

"You wouldn't ever disown Charlie." Elsie commented. "He's your little favourite."

"Compared to you two, that's bloody good choice."

"Thanks Mom. Oh, what?" Elsie glared at her dad. "You're with her?"

"I didn't say anything." Leo smiled innocently.

"Don't worry, ya Daddy's lil' girl."

"Mom, shut up!"

"Ooh…" Everyone went. Elsie covered her mouth, torn between nervous laughter and wariness of what her mother would do.

"That's it." Louisa looked at Leo. "What's that kid's name? Elsie's true love?" Elsie blushed deep red at the sarcasm dripping from Louisa's last two words. Leo shrugged. "Oh, you're a bloody good help, Valdez."

"Lou, less of the 'bloody'. There's little kids around." Annabeth gestured at the triplets, who were sat in the middle of the floor with building blocks and Lego.

"It's that 'bloody' or real bloody." Annabeth blinked at her. Louisa pointed at Tobias. "He's first on ma hit list."

"Tobias, you might wanna run." Max voiced, not taking his eyes from the game.

"Shut it, coffee shop." Max glowered, but shut up. "Anyway," Louisa pointed at Elsie. "That supposed true love of ya life kid, whatever the hell his name is, is so gonna every embarrassin' thing 'bout ya."

"How could you be so mean to your own kids?" Percy asked.

"Simple. Be mean to them. It ain't rocket science, bro." Louisa looked at Tobias. "Ya still disowned."

"You're still stirring trouble." Tobias was instantly grateful for the floor space, furniture and siblings and cousins between him and his aunt.

"Actually…" Percy said, rubbing the back of his neck. "We are the only twins in this family." Annabeth and Leo groaned in annoyance.

"About bloody time, bro." The twins looked at Tobias and Sophia.

"Twins, don't start or I'll go all scientific on you." Annabeth warned.

"Scientific how?" Percy asked curiously. Annabeth gave a twisted, evil, lopsided smile. Percy and Louisa shared a look before shrugging it off and looking back at Tobias and Sophia. Annabeth caught Leo's eye. He nodded, smiling.

"It's your fault its twins." Annabeth claimed. That caught the twins' attention. "Your fault its twins, Percy." Louisa was looking from her brother to Annabeth and back again, trying to make sense of things. "Here's the scientific bit," Annabeth said casually, folding her arms. "Because your mom had twins, you two carry twin genes. Your kids could have their own twins."

"Why didn't we have twins?" Percy asked.

"Ya had bloody triplets for gods' sake. That's terrible."

"Tell me about it." Annabeth muttered. Louisa smirked. "The twin genes went from Percy and through Tobias, so he can have twins."

"Is that it?" Louisa asked. "There ain't anymore science is there?"

"I could go into detail…"

"Please don't. I like ma lunch eaten, thanks." Annabeth laughed softly.

"That bad, huh? How'd you feel about architecture then?"

"Gods no…"

"Are you going to be nice to Tobias and Soph then?" Annabeth bribed.

"Pfft." Louisa scoffed. "Course not!" Tobias sighed. Louisa's eyes flicked to him briefly. "'N' you," She rounded on her brother who instantly backed up a couple of paces. "This is your bloody fault. Ya had ta have kids who could have twins 'n' now we've gotta sort the whole damn thing out 'bout two sets of twins."

"Very sorry." Percy muttered. Annabeth was waving at Tobias and Sophia frantically- silent gestures for them to leave while Louisa was distracted. It didn't work too well because Louisa noticed.

"I'm disownin' you too." She told Annabeth.

"Lou, you can't disown me. I'm married to your brother and not related to you."

"That's crap. Your mom is Zeus's kid 'n' ma dad is Zeus's brother so that makes me your, uh…"

"We're cousins with Athena." Percy said bluntly. His words hung around him for a few seconds before he and Louisa looked at each other, startled.

"Shit."

"Don't think about the godly side of family. It gets complicated."

"That's right. Let's think 'bout this side of the family 'n' how we're bein' replaced for midgets."

"Lou, you're not being replaced." Leo laughed.

"We are!" Louisa protested. "We're the original twins! We don't need anymore!"

"You could have a mini- Percy and a mini-Lou."

"Ya can't have a mini-Lou, 'cos this sheer awesome can't be bloody copied." Louisa retorted shortly.

"Lou?" Leo said. "You've taken your meds, right?" She glared at him.

"No." She eventually replied quietly. Leo smiled and spread his hands.

"Problem solved."


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