Stef stared at Lena in disbelief, her face clouded in hurt. Was this really happening? All Lena wanted from her was money but she wasn't willing to let Stef even see Callie?
"I… I…" Stef stuttered, still at a loss for what to say. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"I can't take that risk." Lena explained. "She's too week and too fragile right now and she was so distraught and the last time you were involved things declined so fast. She finally feels safe and secure again; she finally settled down and I won't let you ruin that. You yourself just admitted that everything was a mess last time round and right now her heart is the only thing we all need to focus on and I'm scared of what will happen if she finds out that you are in any way involved with her. I just can't take that risk, I'm sorry." She finished, her voice firm and hard to make it clear that they weren't open for negotiations though she wasn't trying to hurt Stef.
Stef was still silent, trying to process this, wondering if she was even capable of staying away knowing that her daughter was possibly dying. If she was paying for her treatments and whatever else Lena needed then she would have a vague idea of what was going on which would only make it harder for her to keep her distance.
"She doesn't even know I'm here right now." Lena continued, trying to make Stef understand her reasoning. "She thinks I'm on a school field trip that I couldn't get out of because one teacher can't handle two classes outside of school grounds. We don't mention your name anymore because she's always afraid that you'll fight for her again. I made the mistake of not telling her the truth the last time and now she thinks I'll hide it again from her so please, please, don't rock the boat."
Stef nodded slightly as she began to understand what Lena was saying. She had to admit that it did make sense. Stef had ruined Callie's life - not only when she gave her away but the first time she'd shown up and put a stop to her adoption and then again when fought for custody even after promising that all she wanted was to get to know the girl.
"I know it's horrible of me and it's a lot to ask but I have to do what's best for her. I came to you because that's what a mother does - she gets what her child needs no matter what and she does whatever she can to protect her." Lena continued. "It's what you wanted for her - a family that would love and protect her better than you could."
"What about after the transplant?" Stef finally asked, still trying to find a way around Lena's decision. "Once she's out of the woods, why can't we start over then?"
"I don't know." Lena answered honestly. "I don't know how well this surgery will take, there are a lot of factors - she may reject the heart, it may take a long time for her body to recoup completely, she may need another transplant again a few years down the line. We just don't know anything so I can't decide. Besides, I made the mistake of pushing a relationship with you the first time because I thought it was the right thing to do but now I think it needs to be her decision. When she's ready, maybe after she's eighteen or old enough to fully understand the situation and deal with her feelings then she can approach you. I won't make those decisions for her this time."
Once again Stef was silent, all hopes crushed as she thought of letting go of her daughter yet again. She had just managed to get things back in order in her life; accepted that Callie was better off without her; and now again, she had to pick up all pieces and start over. Only this time there was the hope that maybe one day, years from now, Callie would reach out - but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not for it didn't make for a clean break.
"So are you still willing to pay?" Lena distracted Stef of her thoughts with the question that had worried the younger woman all along. Her voice was hard and held almost no sympathy for she couldn't afford to turn soft and back down but the truth was that she never meant to actively hurt Stef. She was just doing what was best for her daughter.
Stef was still for a while, just thinking everything over, preparing herself for yet another rough ride of letting Callie go. Yes, she wanted to be something more than just a bank account for both of them but was she really going to deny her daughter the best she could offer because it wasn't working out that way? After all, it was Stef's mistakes that had put the girl in this position in the first place. "Yes." She finally said as she nodded her head and looked at Lena. "Just tell me where to send the money and I'll send it every month."
Lena smiled and nodded appreciatively, finally releasing the breath she'd been holding as her shoulders visibly relaxed. She had been so worried from the moment she'd decided to approach Stef for she knew that she wasn't being fair - in fact, if she had read this as an article about someone else she might have even considered herself heartless but she was learning that a mother would pull out all the stops in order to protect her child.
"I'll pay for everything and I'll stay away, but there's one thing I need from you." Stef suddenly continued, adding a condition to her promise, making Lena looked up at her with worried eyes. "I need you to tell me what's happening - when she gets a heart, how the surgery went, how she's recovering. You can't imagine what it would feel like to not know whats happening."
"I promise." Lena agreed quickly, finding the conditions completely reasonable. She didn't doubt Stef's love for Callie and she fully believed that the woman was worried about her and would want to know how things were progressing. "I'll keep you in the loop." She assured with a smile.
"Thank you." Stef smiled back, somewhat satisfied. At least now she wouldn't be constantly on edge, wondering how things were going, dreading the day when she's asked to stop making the payments because Callie was no longer alive.
"Thank you." Lena replied, more than grateful for what Stef was doing for them. She knew it was a lot to ask of a woman she barely knew but Stef had agreed anyway and that definitely made Lena feel even worse about what she'd just done for despite their fight, despite Stef's indirect involvement in Callie's misery, the woman truly didn't deserve any of this and had things been different; had Stef simply been just another woman then maybe it was possible that they could have been a family.
The two just seemed to stare in silence at each other as though they had more to say - a lot more to say - but neither even made an attempt as the tension and awkwardness built up between them. Eventually, when it because almost unbearable, Lena whispered one last thank you and then got up and walked away.
Stef turned around and watched the woman disappear down the aisle towards the large doors of the courtroom and slowly the tears began, first just a couple but within seconds they were practically pouring down her face as she watched the back of Lena's head disappear between those two doors and had Lena glanced back even once then Stef would have seen just as many tears spilling out of her eyes as well.
