Ella waited not so patiently as Steve healed. Of course, it was faster than an average man, but Ella didn't particularly enjoy seeing her brother bed ridden for so long. He probably hated every second of it.
Steve filled up the time by asking more questions about her abilities, trying to find out what she could and couldn't do. However, since she had kept them hidden for so long, she didn't even fully know what she was capable of. Steve thought it was strange that she didn't even want to find out. When he asked if she would go with him back to New York after he was better to see Stark and figure it all out, she seemed apprehensive. Ella still was scared of herself.
"What are we going to do now?" Ella asked as Steve was finally allowed the leave the hospital. "SHIELD's gone, HYDRA's back… what's next?"
"Going back to New York." Steve said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Maybe getting the Avengers together again to take down the rest of HYDRA."
He looked at his sister, gauging her reaction. Normally, she would have been jumping to follow him to New York. Now, there was hesitation in her eyes. She didn't want to leave again.
"You want to stay?"
She wouldn't meet his eye, pressing her lips together tightly. "I… I think so. I'm not ready to move again."
"And you'll stay here and do what?" Steve asked, although he already knew the answer.
Ella looked down sheepishly. She could tell he was onto her. "He could still be here, Steve. I can look for him while you go back to New York. You'll be dealing with HYDRA, it will be one less thing you'll have to worry about."
"I know you want to help him," Steve said. "But he's still dangerous, unstable."
Ella looked up and her brother, narrowing her eyes. "But you will go after him?"
"I can handle him."
"And I can't?" she asked. "I'm just as strong as you."
"And you refuse to acknowledge it." Steve said shortly. "You don't know how to use it and you don't want to."
"Because I don't want it!" Ella snapped. They stopped walking, standing beside the car that they were to use for now. They looked at each other, gazes even and steady. "I'm not like you. I mean, I'm strong but… I'm not brave enough to do what you do. This ability is wasted on me."
"You're saying you're not brave?" Steve said, raising a brow. "Says the girl who snuck into the army to fight HYDRA, who ran after me with no hesitation into battle more than once."
Ella didn't know how to respond to that. She simply wrung her hands, biting her tongue. "I just… feel too ordinary to have them."
Steve sighed heavily, knowing this conversation wasn't going anywhere. He jerked his head towards the car. They crawled inside, Ella making herself small in the passenger seat as Steve started it. Ella leaned against the door, hugging herself tightly as she watched the road. Steve took an unfamiliar turn.
"Where are we going?"
"I'm meeting Fury."
Ella straightened up as Steve turned into a cemetery. "Strange place to meet."
"It's inconspicuous." Steve shut off the car, opening up the door. "You coming?"
…
Steve seemed to know where to go. It was a nice day, the trees and grasses a vivid green and the sky the palest of blues. Ella followed Steve's determined footsteps as he made his way to the middle of the cemetery.
There was a familiar face waiting for them, standing over a dark headstone. Sam looked up when he heard their footsteps approaching, smiling in greeting.
"Look who can finally walk again." He said to Steve. "Not much longer until you're sprinting past me again, huh?"
"He could probably do it now." Ella quipped, liking to tease Sam. It made her feel a bit better.
"Yeah, and you could too, apparently."
"I'll spare your pride."
Ella wandered over to their sides, following their gazes down to the tombstone. Fury's grave. The ground was dug up, even decorated with pretty white flowers but Ella knew it was just a rouse. It reminded her of her own empty grave back in New York.
"So, you've experienced this sort of thing before."
Ella looked up, seeing Fury walking towards them donned in civilian clothes. It was strange to see him in such a manner after only seeing him in his uniform before. Still, his eye was covered by dark sunglasses.
"You get used to it." Steve assured him while Ella nodded slowly in agreement.
"We've been data mining HYDRA files." Fury said, turning towards the people around him. "Looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship."
Ella frowned. She figured there were still some HYDRA bases out there, but hearing Fury say it made her annoyed. She was tired of them, tired of the fighting. She remembered, back during the war, when all she wanted to do was go home with Bucky and Steve. Now, that was just a dream, a useless hope. It would never happen.
Ella listened with mild interest as Fury asked Steve to go to Europe with him. She knew he would never accept that offer. He didn't like to work from the shadows.
"There's something I got to do first." Steve said, confirming what Ella believed.
He asked Sam the same question.
"I'm more of a soldier than a spy."
At last, Fury turned to Ella. "What about you, Miss Rogers?"
"I'm not a soldier or a spy." She said. "I wouldn't be much use."
Fury sighed. "Alright then." He shook all of their hands in farewell. "If anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me, right here." He pointed to the ground under their feet.
With that, Fury was gone. Ella didn't know when she would see him again, if ever. Still, that wasn't the biggest problem on her mind at the moment. Another voice sounded behind them, Ella peeking over her shoulder and seeing Natasha strutting towards them. Ella noted the file in her hands.
Ella went to Steve's side as he took the file into his hands. It was thick, the cover displaying large words in Russian. She was nervous as he opened it, scared of what would be inside. She felt her heard hammer against her ribs as she saw the first photo. It was Bucky, eyes shut softly, in a familiar containment unit. Ella had been in one herself. There was a smaller photo clipped to the bottom, black and white. It was the same photo Ella had of him in her locket.
Sam came over to their side. "You're going after him." He sounded tired.
"You don't have to come with me."
"I know." Sam said. "When do we start?"
Ella looked up at Sam, feeling better knowing that they had another ally on their side, one that would help them unconditionally. Ella knew Steve needed someone like that, someone he could trust. Sam just happened to be that guy.
Maybe, they would be able to find Bucky.
…
When Ella and Steve got back to the apartment that night (A new one, the old one had been compromised), they sat at the kitchen table and tried their best to figure out what to do next.
"I'm just worried about you on your own." Steve admitted, lacing his fingers together on the wooden tabletop. "With HYDRA still out there, I have to know you're safe."
"Steve, believe it or not, I am an adult." Ella said. "People my age are supposed to be living on their own."
"I know, I know." Steve breathed, leaning back in the chair. "It's just… we've never lived separately before."
He was right. They had been living together their entire lives, never separated. Ella had never really thought about it, it was just how they lived. Now, as she debated living on her own, she realized that's what is considered normal.
"It's not like we'd be far away." Ella pointed out. "I'd call every night. I'll only be here for a few months at the most."
Steve was lost in thought. Ella could see the gears in his head turning as he debated within himself. She could see where his concern was coming from. It was true, HYDRA was still around. However, the chances of them coming at her after such a loss is very low. It wouldn't be smart on their part. They sat in a painful silence for a few seconds that were drawn out to feel like hours. Ella chewed on her bottom lip as she waited for Steve's answer.
At last, Steve spoke. "I trust you, Ella. If this is what you want, I can't stop you." He met her matching blue eyes. "You just have to promise not to go looking for trouble."
"I'm not you, Steve." Ella laughed. "I don't look for a fight. I just follow you into them."
…
Two days later, Steve had all his things packed to leave. Before he left, he surprised Ella with her bike. What was left of SHIELD managed to find it again and return it to her. He thought it was necessary for her to own some form of transportation while he was gone.
Steve was going to go to Stark and begin taking down what was left of HYDRA. He gave her a never-ending lecture about how to take care of herself when he was gone.
"How ever did I manage while you were overseas?" Ella said in dramatic sarcasm.
It was late afternoon when the time finally came for him to leave. Ella followed him downstairs to the parking lot. Of course, she would miss him greatly like she would during the war when he was gone. Still, her brother was Captain America. She was used to it by now.
Ella waved after his car as he drove off, waiting until he was out of sight before heading back inside.
There was an empty feeling in the apartment as she stood in the middle of the living room. It was nearly exactly like the old one, save for the carpet being cleared of blood. All her things were in her room, set up like they had been before. It was almost impossible to tell they even moved.
Ella wandered into her room before pulling out her laptop and a book, trying to catch up on her classes that she missed due to the chaos surrounding her in the last few days.
Around six, Ella got a call from Kate. They talked for a while, Ella explaining why she was staying in D.C. still. Kate was understanding, but told her to come to New York again soon. She needed someone to help her when she got hurt in the middle of the night. Ella tried to explain she was only a nurse for a few weeks, Kate argued it was a few weeks more than her.
Ella soon grew hungry; deciding to go get take out since she still needed to go to the grocery store. She tied her hair in a lose braid over her shoulder, tossing on a light jacket and black flats before heading out of her apartment.
The Chinese place she ordered from was walking distance, no point in taking her bike.
The night air was cool against her skin, the familiar sounds of the city filling the night air around her. It wasn't much longer until Ella was walking out of the small restaurant with a plastic bag hanging in her hand. She made her way down a deserted sidewalk, suddenly feeling the hairs on the back of her neck tingle.
There were footsteps behind her. She was being followed.
Ella swallowed her nervousness and picked up her speed, a sinking feeling in her gut as she heard the steps behind her matched her pace.
Her mind raced, wondering who could be after her. Was it HYDRA? It was so soon after what happened at the Triskelion. Her muscles were drawn taunt as she risked a peek behind her shoulder, surprised at seeing nobody there.
Ella slowed to a stop, looking blankly at the spot where she was sure someone just stood. She was positive she heard someone. Perhaps she was just paranoid, Steve's words getting to her head.
Someone put a hand over her mouth. The panic set in automatically, Ella instantly reaching up and trying to wrench it off her. Quicker than she could comprehend, she was in a dark corner between buildings. Her back pressed against something metallic as she was swiftly turned around, mouth still being smothered.
"Don't scream."
Ella knew that voice. She didn't relax, far from it. Her body still quivered slightly as her gaze went from the gloved hand over her mouth to the face before her. He was hard to make out in the dim light, face hidden by the rim of his cap. It was obvious who it was.
Bucky.
Ella met his eyes, giving a single nod. She didn't look away as he removed his hand, fisting it at his side.
She took in his appearance, from the many layers he wore to the bags weighing down his eyes. He was in need of a shave, in a way that reminded Ella of when he would come back from overseas during the war. She was nervous as he assessed her with cool indifference.
He had to make sure she wasn't a threat. He examined her from head to toe, gauging whether or not she was dangerous. Her shoes gave no support, they wouldn't help her run. Her hair was in a braid, a bad decision for going into a fight. Too easy to grab. She wore a chain around her neck. Any experienced fighter would know not to have anything lose around their neck. He could strangle her with it. He didn't need to worry about a fight.
Ella pressed herself against the dumpster they were behind, trying to sort through the mess of emotions running rampant through her. It was Bucky, right before her as clear as day. He wasn't trying to kill her, at least not yet. Ella didn't know if she wanted to cry, run, or throw herself at him. She searched for any hint of recognition in his eyes, any bit of love or tenderness but found none. At least, there wasn't that blank, dead gaze she had say the first time.
The silence between them was deafening. It drove Ella mad to have the man she loved right in front of her, for the first time in 70 years, and not be able to fall into his embrace.
"Do you know me?" Ella asked, trying to stop her voice from shaking.
He clenched his jaw. "I met you on a mission."
Ella's heart fell. He still didn't know her. "Do you know my name?"
He shook his head, a few strands of his hair falling into his eyes.
She pursed her lips, willing herself not to cry. She inhaled deeply, trying her best to compose herself. "Why are you here?"
If he didn't know her, it made no sense for him to seek her out. There must be something that drew him to her.
"You know the man from the bridge."
"Steve?"
Bucky nodded once. It was almost as if he were afraid to speak, not that Ella could blame him after what he went through with HYDRA.
"You… you want to see him?" Ella asked, trying to connect the dots. She pushed herself off the dumpster, standing stiffly in front of the man before her.
"No." Bucky said, his voice a rasping whisper. "I… I don't know him. Not the way he knows me."
Ella wished he would just say what he wanted. Trying to guess felt like sneaking around a minefield. One wrong step and everything will blow up. "Then what do you want?"
There was a faint noise in the air from his metal arm as tightened his fist. "I want to know who I am."
Ella hugged herself tightly as she observed the man before her. His face was just like she remembered; it almost took her breath away. His eyes would occasionally flicker to their surroundings, as if he believed they would be attacked at any moment. Ella felt despair in her heart, knowing how he must feel. It was how she felt after she first woke up on the new century.
"Alright." Ella said, so softly she worried he didn't hear her. "I'll help you."
He didn't react. Didn't smile, didn't nod, didn't really do anything except look at her. Ella shifted in her spot, hand wrapping around the plastic bag with her food awkwardly.
"Do… do you have somewhere to stay?" she asked, noting how tired he looked. When was the last time he got a decent night's sleep that wasn't induced by being shoved into a freezer?
He shook his head.
Ella sighed. Her head was fighting itself as she spoke again. "I have a spare room. Come with me."
One half of her mind told her she was crazy, that he wasn't the man she knew anymore. He could kill her easily. He didn't even know her. The other half of her brain told her it was the obvious thing to do. It was Bucky; he was lost, confused, and probably hungry. How could she just leave him?
He seemed hesitant at first, as if she would spring a knife on him in a second. He stood rooted to the spot as Ella turned to leave. She noted he didn't move, jerking her head in the direction of the apartment. "Come on."
Bucky shoved his hands into his pocket, lowering his gaze and following her. He didn't know what else to do. This was his only lead. He fell in step with the girl, peeking up past the rim of his hat and trying to read her expression. Her eyes were clouded in thought, but she wasn't showing any tell-tale signs of lying.
"What's your name?" he grunted.
The girl seemed surprised by the question, but her face softened as she answered. "Ella."
Part of her hoped her name would jog something in his mind, but tried not to be dishearten when he continued on his way, shoulders slouched forward as if nothing had changed.
"What do you want to be called?" Ella asked, peering under the hat at his face.
His mind raced. The man in the bridge called him Bucky. It name sounded familiar, like from a hazy dream. In the museum, they listed his full name as James Buchannan Barnes. Bucky was just a nickname. He didn't feel like the man he used to be.
"James."
James, James, James, James, James, James. Ella repeated in her mind. She had to remember to call him that, force it out of her mouth if she had to. She was too used to calling him Bucky. It wouldn't be easy to switch. She had only called him James when she was teasing him.
They walked in a smothering silence until they reached the apartment complex. James was examining the room under a scrutinizing gaze. He picked out entrances and exits, cameras, and even places an enemy could hide. The girl beside him, however, did none of these things. It confounded him how relaxed she could be.
Ella pushed the button for the elevator, waiting patiently for the doors to slide open.
"How do you know him?" James asked, before adding as a second thought. "Steve."
"He's my-" the word brother died on her lips as the elevator doors slid open. He didn't want to see Steve, and he had no idea who she was. If she told him they were related, he could run for the hills and she would never see him again. Instead, Ella licked her lips and told a lie. "He's my friend. We worked together."
Ella crossed her hands in front of her as they rode the elevator to her floor. It was only a few second, filled with the overly cheerful sounds coming through the speakers. It didn't really fit the moment.
She nearly sprinted out of the elevator, rushing to her door and jamming the key in. Ella was relieved when they both finally stood inside her apartment, door closed behind them.
Ella placed her food on the table, standing beside James as he studied the room. "So, this is it. It's not huge, but it's enough. Your room's right there," she pointed to the door on his right. "I'm across from you in case you need anything. There should be soap and stuff in the shower. I don't have any extra clothes for you, but I'll go out tomorrow." She was rambling. It was strange when he didn't talk. "Uhm, are you hungry?"
Ella didn't wait for him to respond before going into the kitchen and fetching two plates, some forks, and two glasses of water. She set them all down on the table, digging through the bag and pulling out the food.
"You've probably never had this before so I hope you like it." she said. "I actually just moved in and I don't have anything else. If I had known you would be here, I would have bought more…"
James watched the girl as she spoke. He was surprised at how quickly she agreed to help him. Not only that, but giving him a place to stay and food to eat. He expected her to run from him. He remembered attacking her, hitting her over the head with the butt of a pistol. The injury it caused was scabbing over.
The girl sat down in her chair, instantly twirling long noodles onto her fork. She looked up at him expectantly. "Aren't you going to sit down?"
James approached the chair slowly before sitting down. He started at the food on the plate with heavy brows. He hadn't ever seen anything like it. He took the fork in his metal hand, spearing what looked like a piece of chicken before tentatively putting it into his mouth. It wasn't the worst thing he had ever tasted.
The girl ate quickly, clearing her plate before standing up and putting it in the sink. "I'm going to take a shower." She announced. "You can make yourself at home. Eat as much as you would like."
James kept his eyes glued on her back as she walked away, shutting the door to her room behind her softly. It wasn't much longer until the sound of running water reached his ears. He even heard her humming a tune through the thin walls.
James wasn't aware of how hungry he actually was. He finished his plate as well as what was left in the boxes. Now that he thought about it, it had been a few days since he had eaten anything substantial. When he finished, he looked at what was on the table with furrowed brows. At first, he didn't know what to do with them. It was strange to think, HYDRA had taken away something as simple as what to do with your plate once you finished. He remembered what the girl did, following her footsteps and placing his plate into the sink.
Not much longer, he heard her bedroom door open. She walked out, damp hair clinging to her back. She wore a white tee shirt that looked several sizes too large and black shorts. He noted how her legs were toned. So, she obviously did something physical. In her arms was a pile of books. She brought them over to the table, laying them down gently.
"So, these are all history books." She explained. "I just thought they might help you jog your memory a bit. I think some of them have a section on you, if that's what you want to read."
James looked down at the covers on the table. They looked well worn, a few book marks sticking out the top of a few. He picked up the one closest to him, examining the photograph of an old plane on the cover.
"I think this is all you should worry about for tonight." Ella said. "It's late. You should get some sleep."
He didn't say anything.
Ella let out a small sigh at his unresponsiveness. "Well, I'm going to bed. I'll make breakfast in the morning."
Ella turned around, jolting to a stop when he grabbed her wrist stubbornly. He met her gaze with wide, pleading eyes. "Don't tell him I'm here."
Ella knew he was talking about Steve. Although it was phrased like an order, his tone of voice was more as a desperate plead. She gave a reassuring nod. "I won't."
His fingers unfurled from her wrist, going back to the book in his hands. He was still amazed by how much this girl wanted to help him. What had he ever done to her besides attack her? Was she really capable of forgiveness that easily? Still, she had already done a lot for him.
"Thank you."
Ella paused under her doorframe, surprised at his statement. She turned towards him, corners of her lips pointed upwards. "You're welcome, James. Good night."
She shut her door softly behind her, taking a deep breath. Ella couldn't believe what just happened, it all just seemed too surreal. Bucky, or James rather, was alive and only a few feet away from her. Now, all she had to do was help him remember he was. Ella figured she was a good candidate for the job, one of the two people who knew him the best. Perhaps, he would remember her eventually.
Her train of thought was interrupted by her phone ringing from her bed. Steve's name flashed across the screen. Ella sighed heavily as she picked it up. He had only been gone a few hours.
Ella didn't want to speak to him with James being so close. She pried open her window and sat down on the fire escape before accepting the call.
"Hello?"
"Hey," Steve said. "How are you?"
"Not much different than when you left a few hours ago." Ella lied. She hoped she sounded convincing. "I'm still alive by the way."
"What a shame," another voice said from the line. Ella recognized it as Sam.
"Am I on speaker?" Ella asked with a laugh. "Sam, you're just sad because you lost your favorite running buddy."
Of course, he went to New York with Steve. They came as a package deal now.
They talked for a bit longer, Steve explained that Stark was going to help her with finances for now. They were safe in New York. Steve said it had cleaned up a lot better after the battle, which Ella was glad about. It was nearly twelve when they hung up, Ella thankfully going back inside and crawling into her bed.
As she fell asleep, she listened for any noise from James. It bothered her that she was keeping things from Steve again, which she promised not to do, and also not telling James the full truth. She reminded herself it was the right thing to do, for now at least.
It helped her sleep.
Authors note:
Ok, we have Bucky again! I hope I was able to characterize him well.
As of Ella, I'm trying to portray her as an ordinary girl trapped in an enhanced body. She knows she enhanced, she just doesn't want to believe it.
Don't forget to review!
