The voyage began and we all entered a salon and sat. This was to be one of the only times on this trip that we would gather thusly. Courtland proceeded to pack his pipe and when Caleb looked disgusted with him for it he laughed softly. "It's so very unmanly of you to despise tobacco," he said with some affection.
My eyes narrowed and my little hand tapped the table with irritation "So you don't hold any rancor for Caleb though he is a writer?"
The silence around the table was heavy with so many things. The men around me were the most complex I've ever had the privilege to know. Courtland lit his pipe and when the smoke cleared sufficiently I found him giving me a glance full of amusement. "How you hate that I scorn him," he said softly. "And no I hold no ill will towards Caleb because literature is meaningful," he turned to him with passion in his eyes "Why when I read your last book I must admit I had to do so in privacy for many times it moved me to tears," then he patted Caleb's arm.
Caleb winked over at him and then looked to Eric and I "He has never understood the meaning in any other art except portraiture," at this Cole nodded.
His gray eyes so like their grandfather's became shadowed as he remembered something "Once Eric was painting his mother and he came in and I will never forget this; he said "Perhaps you won't always be worthless and queer," after Cole imparted this he seemed sad.
Eric was dangerously quiet next to me "Do you still keep her likeness in your chambers?" there was some meaning behind this and it became clear in the next minute "He was in love with my mother and they had an affair for many years."
His silver touched head tipped to the side "Why he's believed for many a year that Cole is in fact his son."
Courtland was calmly smoking his pipe and he set it down "Touché, Eric," he smiled then quite coldly. "Yes I still have that portrait that you painted the year of her death and when I look on it is the only time I can accept your aberrations."
"And I have been certain since the moment of his birth that Cole is my progeny," he added softly and then patted Cole's hand who sat next to him.
"So Cole is only Eric's brother?" I asked with my brow furrowed, we many months later made a project of it to make a family tree of your father's family and found it nearly impossible to work out with all the incest and intermarriage.
The three nodded with uncertainty and their grandfather flicked his hand to a negro in white dress "Bring us a round of scotch, something fine," he commanded. "So Sookie Cole tells me that you will soon take Caleb into your bed," this was said as if he'd just remarked that it was going to be a lovely day.
But there was irritation in his voice too "Why did you always give him your poor seconds and then wait till you get a delicacy and deny him for the first time in your life?" it was nearly a snarl.
Eric smirked and when the drinks arrived he drained his glass "Because I'm in love with her and for some reason it would pain me."
Courtland arched a brow "But not so with Caleb."
My lord made no direct reply and sighed "If there is anyone worthy of taking to bed on this pile of shit we're on then she will lie with Caleb many times on this voyage," he seemed resigned to this fact but it still hurt him terribly.
Caleb looked to me with voracious appetite and licked his lip with anticipation. I shivered under the possession of his glance. He was an incredible dark lover I was soon to discover. We went on to be lovers for many years to come. But to your father I gave all the mean contents of my heart.
We sat in silence for a spell "I like her, may I have the pleasure of her too?" Courtland was jesting but he was also serious and part of me wondered what he would be like in bed.
Eric laughed with a scowl "Fuck off old man."
His grandsire was amused and for once I saw true love for Eric in his eyes "You know I don't hate you all the time," he murmured.
"Nor I you," Eric said gesturing to the waiting negro for him to bring a bottle.
Caleb sighed longingly and looked again to me and I felt myself nearly cry with lust and despair. Eric was watching our exchange with carefully crafted detachment.
The wooden door of the vast salon parted and a tall beautiful man entered and your father gasped as if in pain. The man had hair of dark gold and as he came closer I saw his eyes were a bewitching shade of to match.
He in turn noticed Eric and waved and came towards us. When he arrived at the table he gave us all a disinterested glance and bent down and claimed my husband's lips in a passionate kiss.
I longed to laugh and claw out his gold eyes as their lips broke. "You must be Sookie," he said with such casualness.
When he brought a chair to the table and sat down I scowled. "Must you rub all your whores into my vision?" I snapped.
Eric bowed his head in shame "Sookie this Corrin, he's been my lover since I was fifteen," he said softly.
Corrin smirked and glanced over to me "Eric has never had a great passion for women overly, he prefers men," it nearly seemed that he was complimenting me and trying to wound me at the same time.
His beautiful eyes cut to my lord "Come with me, I have such sights to show thee," he said seductively.
Your father looked over and kissed me desperately and I nearly struck him but his eyes warned me against such a flagrant sign of disrespect in the presence of his Courtland.
"I must go, I will return for dinner," he said directly to me and then rose and followed his lover from the room.
The three that were left at the table were looking hungrily at me. "Why not have us all?" Cole asked with a glance around him.
I smirked and brought a glass to my lips "No I think not Cole, though he is a faithless love I will not profane him in that manner." I looked to Caleb "But I will take you to my bed," we rose and I heard Cole gasp.
Caleb placed a light touch to the small of my back and then we found out which room was his. The room was large for ship quarters of those times. It was paneled in walnut and there were even paintings on the walls. A big bed sat in the corner and he shoved me brutally towards it.
He came behind me and with expert fingers began undressing me. "If you had a change of clothing on you I would tear this from you," he said into my ear.
I was trembling with sorrow and desire as I was revealed to him. "How perfect," he whispered putting his hands on my little breasts. His head dipped and he took one into his mouth with a savage groan.
I was growing wet but so were my eyes. "I want you to rape me," I told him. "For I intend to fight you this time."
Caleb's eyes grew feverish with excitement "As you wish my heart." He threw me to the bed and ravished me and I struck him again and again and clawed his chest to free myself.
I will not go into detail about this overly because it will pain you to read of this I'm sure. Suffice to say that your uncle is an expert lover and I came on his member many times in the coming hours.
When it was finished I was weeping against his smooth bare chest with anguish as he stroked my unbound hair. "Will you always fight me and weep afterwards?" there was an odd bit of hope in his voice.
I shrugged "Probably not but then who knows, the depths of my love for him are endless."
"Let me go I need to see his face," said I rising to dress. Your uncle assisted me with the many buttons that trailed up the back of my gown. I knew that he spent the rest of his life loving me and hating me. His desire for me never ceased fully.
I could see he wanted me once more "Later," I told him and with nary a glance back I went in search of my true love's kiss.
Over the following weeks I was taken again and again by your father and uncle. And it was glorious and soul crushing all at once.
Sometime in the middle of our voyage we crossed through the Bering Strait and saw a beautiful sight. It was only Eric and my lover Caleb as we took in a field of glaciers before us.
Eric looked to Caleb and then pointed to the sculptures of ice "This is the stuff of her heart and only I will ever truly burn there," it wasn't said with smugness exactly but with his pure ownership of me in a wholly spiritual way.
Caleb leaned over and licked my bare neck "But her little body will burn for me just the same brother," a dark look of love for me and him was in his gaze.
AN: There will be one more chapter an Epilogue.
