Author's Note: Takes place before and during season seven's Internal Displacement. Sorry this update has been so long in coming. I guess there is so little West Wing left at this point that I hate re-watching the episodes because I know there isn't much left. Reviews, as always, are appreciated.


"Brush with Death"

CJ was in her office and it was almost eleven, again; it wasn't unusual for her to be here so late lately. Things seemed to be falling apart even more than usual. I wasn't sure why, but at least things were busy. President Bartlet's daughter had gotten married a few days earlier. I had hoped to catch a glimpse of the festivities, but the most I got was seeing CJ and Kate in their wedding attire. They had to leave to go to the Situation Room. There was a bunch of stuff going on that sounded like it had the potential to get bad, but I guess, for whatever reason, tempers cooled because I didn't really hear much of it.

I guess Josh and Donna were invited to the wedding. I wished one of them would have had a reason to pop into CJ's office, but they didn't. So, I swam around and watched CJ reading and writing a bunch of things. But really, I wasn't watching her so much because Leo was TV! CJ was half-watching the Vice Presidential debate. Word on the street was that he was going to do very poorly and I was happy to see that he was proving everyone wrong. He was actually pretty good.

I'd met Leo a few times and sometimes he came off as a little bit scary. I wondered if that was why expectations were low for his debate performance. But I'd also seen the softer side of Leo too. He seemed to be the perfect candidate for Vice President in my mind. He was a hard, take-no-prisoners kind of guy when he had to be, but he was also level-headed and would give the shirt off his back to someone in need.

I saw CJ stop what she was doing and watch the debate every so often. Unsurprisingly she always looked up when she heard Leo's voice. I saw her crack a few grins and I knew she was enjoying it even if she didn't look completely engaged with the television. Just as the debate wrapped CJ's phone rang. No one was around and her office doors were shut so she just clicked the speakerphone button to answer.

"CJ Cregg," she said.

"Oh, hi," a male voice said on the other end. He sounded surprised that she answered.

CJ stopped what she was doing as soon as he spoke. Like me, she'd know that voice anywhere. It was soft and warm and familiar; the kind of voice that made you feel comfortable.

"You're surprised I answered my own phone?" CJ asked him.

"A little," he admitted. "It's late. I kind of thought I'd get your voicemail."

"You didn't want to talk to me?" she asked. "That's not the Danny Concannon I know." From what I knew they hadn't spoken in quite a while, but CJ reverted to that old, slightly flirting tone when she talked to him.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said. I could almost hear a slight smile in his voice. "I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. I've been running Margaret's gauntlet of trying to get you on the phone for a week so I'm a little surprised I'm talking to the CJ Cregg is all."

"Well you've got her," CJ replied. "Margaret has been giving you a hard time?"

I knew CJ knew that Danny had a called a few times already that week. Margaret gave her the message each and every time, but for some reason CJ didn't call him back.

"I highly doubt she's neglected to give you my messages," Danny challenged her.

CJ's upper lip curled slightly and I could tell that there was something like satisfaction or delight in the fact that he called her out on her question.

"She's given them to me," CJ confirmed. "It's been really…I've had a lot going on."

There it was; the good old CJ Cregg aversion. She'd start a sentence to articulate the truth, then change her mind halfway through because she remembered she was talking to a reporter. I'd seen it years ago with Danny and I'd seen it recently with Greg Brock. Much as CJ wanted to be truthful there was part of her mind that wouldn't let her say more than she should. I wondered if she'd been burned by a reporter long ago. She had a wall that went up quickly when she was afraid she was revealing too much.

"I understand," Danny replied congenially. "I don't imagine you have a lot of time for reporters lately."

I wondered if he was reaching for some connection to Greg Brock. Was he insinuating that CJ was distancing herself from reporters because of everything that happened with Greg? I wasn't sure, but I could tell that CJ was thinking along the same lines by the look on her face.

"Not really," CJ said. "I know Leo didn't talk to reporters as much as I have as Chief of Staff."

Not wanting to start a fight, Danny changed topics when Leo's name came up. "Yeah, did you watch Leo tonight?" Danny asked. "He did well, not that expectations were very high. Josh did a good job on keeping them low."

"I don't think Josh had anything to do with that," CJ said. I thought it was possible that Josh had called the night before. I was half-asleep and CJ didn't put the call on speaker, but I thought she'd said his name at some point. Yeah, yeah, I'm not the greatest historian ever, I know.

"You've talked to him?" Danny asked.

"Yesterday," CJ confirmed. "If Josh had anything to do with lowering expectations he certainly didn't say it."

"He was stressed?"

"He was Josh, so yeah, I guess you could say he was stressed," CJ chuckled lightly.

"So listen," Danny said, getting to the point, "I was wondering if you'd have dinner with me."

I had been swimming in the opposite direction of CJ, but as soon as the question left Danny's lips I quickly turned to catch her reaction, which was one of surprise and possibly shock. I knew she wasn't expecting it and to be honest I wasn't either.

"You want to have dinner with me?" CJ asked. Her question deflected his and I knew that was a classic tactic of hers when wasn't sure how to respond. I could tell she wanted to say yes, but I could also tell that the idea of having dinner with Danny was utterly terrifying to her.

"Yeah," he said. "Shocking though I know it is that I'd want to have a meal with you, I thought I'd ask."

"Okay," CJ said finally. I honestly thought I could actually see her shut off the thinking part of her brain and just take the leap. I'd come to find that CJ had two distinct sides. There was the thinking, rational CJ and there was the emotional, impulsive CJ. She rarely allowed impulsive, emotional CJ out these days. Everything was order and rational behavior. I couldn't really blame her. The last time she let emotional CJ out she got caught up with Greg; the time before she found herself falling for her Secret Service agent, her emotional side didn't have the greatest track record.

"Okay," Danny replied. I could practically hear the smile in his voice. If he knew what was good for him he'd get off the phone before she changed her mind. "Let's say tomorrow at nine?"

"Uh, I'm not sure I can," CJ started verbally talking herself out of dinner, but then she surprised me by saying, "I could probably do ten."

"Great," Danny replied. "I'll see you then."

I heard Danny disconnect his end of the call and I thought that was probably a good decision. He had her scheduled for dinner. Now he just had to be sure she didn't change her mind. The best way to do that was to stop talking and not pick up the phone until after their scheduled dinner.

CJ clicked the speakerphone button and looked at it for a minute. I could tell that she was processing the conversation. We hadn't heard from Danny in a while. I knew she wondered what he wanted, but I could also see that she was excited about the prospect of seeing him again. Of course, I could further tell that she was terrified at the thought.

"What do you think of that Gail?" she asked me.

"I'm surprised," I said. "You've kind of blown him off for years."

"He is tenacious," she said. "I'll give him that."

"Because he loves you," I told her, but my comment fell on deaf ears.

"This was probably a mistake," she said to no one. I wasn't really part of this conversation anymore. And just when I thought I didn't need to pay attention anymore she said, "That's the problem Gail. The feelings never really went anywhere. They were there and then he was gone…and I'm sitting here pouring my heart out to a fish at eleven at night. It's time to go home."

With that CJ packed up a few papers and turned off the television and the light and went home for the night. I was left to contemplate how she felt about Danny, though I didn't really need to think about it. She always had feelings for him and she was probably right; they still lingered because they never really went anywhere. I wanted to think about it some more, but I was a little sleepy and so I settled in for the night. It was a good thing I did. I'd need all my wits about me to get through the stress of the next day, which would bring more terror than I'd felt in my entire life.


CJ was in pretty early the next morning. I took that as a bad sign. I thought if things had gone well she'd have been out late and maybe overslept. Unfortunately, she was in the office at her normal time, maybe even a little earlier than usual. She seemed preoccupied, though she was doing her job with her usual zeal. I wondered if Danny had said something that had gotten to her. He was always good for getting her to realize something she hadn't before and I thought that maybe he might have made her think about things that she didn't want to when they were together the night before.

It turned out that he had made her think about something she didn't want to think about, but it had nothing to do with her life or career, it had to do with Liz Bartlet's husband Doug. I hadn't seen Doug much. From what I had heard he thought he was tight with Josh and Liz had always fancied herself somewhat close to CJ. That put CJ in a particularly awkward position since, from what I could gather, Danny had told her that Doug was cheating on Liz, or that he had cheated on her.

Pretty much the rest of CJ's day was spent trying to get Will to figure out if the story was true. I assumed that she confirmed it because she had Doug summoned to her office and she forced him to withdraw his application for the president to campaign for him in New Hampshire. That was an awkward conversation, let me tell you.

But, then I suppose you probably want to hear about the stress I alluded to before. I don't really like to think about it as it was my one and only brush with a near-death experience. I wondered if the feeling I had was the same as what Josh and the president had experienced at Rosslyn. No, I didn't get shot, but I can tell you that what happened to me was by far the scariest thing I'd experienced since the guys unleashed those unholy turkeys on me in CJ's office.

Before CJ summoned Doug to yell at him about his indiscretion she called Danny to confirm that the story was true. Since it was during business hours she didn't put the call on speakerphone, but I heard her side of the conversation anyway. She asked Danny if his information was correct. She was nervous about it, mostly because knowing it was true was going to put her in a pretty terrible position with the president and Liz. Well, because she was being awkward and because Margaret surprised her by walking into the office I almost died.

I know I have a flair for the melodramatic. I will admit to sometimes sensationalizing details to keep you all captivated by my adventures in the White House, but this time, I promise, I'm not embellishing. I was swimming around, listening to CJ's side of the conversation with Danny, hoping to pick up on any little detail that I could dissect later when I saw that the black cord that connected the big part of the phone to the receiver started inching closer to the bowl. I can tell you that when you're in the bowl the world outside looks a little distorted. Everything looks a bit liquefied and large, but when a phone cord is coming your way at a fast rate you know it's not distorted. It's coming for you and there isn't anything you can do about it.

CJ walked towards the door and the cord came at me at the fastest pace I'd ever seen anything come at my bowl. Suddenly the force of CJ's movement and the cord swept my bowl across the desk. I'll admit, at first it was a little fun. I felt like what I think ice skating must feel like. I was gliding across the desk in my bowl. But then, very quickly, I realized that there wasn't much desktop left. The bowl was rapidly reaching the end of the desk and my bowl started to tumble. It slipped off the edge and the freefall was intense. I didn't have that moment people talk about when their life flashes before their eyes. I didn't have time to process what was happening, but I can tell you that even though it happened quickly, to me, it was in slow motion as my home fell rapid down the side of the desk.

I let my mind go blank and thought that it was the end when suddenly the free fall stopped. The hard thud I was expecting didn't come and I turned in the water, which was miraculously still in the bowl and saw that CJ had dropped the phone and was holding my bowl in her hands. She looked as terrified as I felt and I could hear Danny yelling into the phone that now hung off the desk. She set me gently back on her desk and I had to take a moment to compose myself while she finished her conversation with Danny.

I got myself together enough to hear her agree to what I think was another date with Danny and then CJ was off talking to some weird guy who seemed really mad about something. Josh stopped by and also seemed to have ticked CJ off, but honestly, I was just too happy to be alive to take notice of what they were sort of fighting about. I spent the rest of the day trying to regulate my heart, which wasn't easy.

I made a decision that day though. I wasn't going to take a moment for granted because how did I know when I was going to be pushed off the desk or accidentally dropped when my bowl got cleaned. I felt like up until then I was making the most of my life, but that day I decided that a more concerted effort was required to make my life more meaningful and that was going to start with paying more attention to things.

To that end, CJ told the president that Doug was cheating on Liz. She didn't have much of a choice. The story was coming out and she didn't want him to be blind-sided by the information. I didn't envy her that job. CJ did go out with Danny again and from all accounts it went very well, but reliving my near-death experience is probably enough excitement for one day. It's a good story for another time.

TBC