Chapter 49: Ricecakes and Lumpy Oatmeal
a/n: Thanks for the reviews you guys! I would love to respond to them all, they are so sweet; but I've had so little time to write, any free time I use for writing.
a/n: a "malo" is a male Polynesian skirt in the front - and sometimes in the back it gets twisted into a g-string sorta thing, where you got some bare bum cheeks staring out at you.
a/n: Rose is in this chapter; and from previous chapters, her background was elaborated on. To refresh, she is a "townie" -born and bred in the college town that houses the university. She comes from a working class family, with three older brothers. Her father raised her after her mother left as a girl, but she raised herself in many ways. Like the book series, she survived a brutal and random assault on her a year ago. Bella and her clashed initially at work, but became quick friends once Bella stood up to her.
a/n: There are two links on the very top of my profile for this chapter:
1) One link is a ancient male Hawaiian hula, to sorta give a working image for the type of dancing Emmett was doing onstage(Emmett is from New Zealand, but is part of a church Polynesian dance group that performs various Polynesian dances). The dance begins around 1;30, and the circular rotation called an "ami" that rose and alice are appreciating is around 1:58.
2)And the other link is of the song that Rose sings, "Angel From Montgomery." It's a famous song, but the lyrics are beautiful and sorta Rose like.
a/n: The f-bomb is used a lot here, but mainly due to the setup with Rose. Just thought I'd mention
xxx
BPOV:
"It's a butt flap."
Alice's eyes narrowed. "It's called a malo, the native wrap-around male skirts from Hawaii. Don't be such an ugly American."
Jasper gave the performers another quick look and then grimaced. "I'm being generous calling it a butt flap. It's really just ass floss. How the hell am I suppossed to gobble down some Kalua Pork with a bunch of hairy dental flossed asses in front of me?"
Alice gasped while putting a finger to her lips.
"Shhhhhhh! They'll hear you. You are so culturally insensitive," she hissed. "And besides, none of their asses are hairy. The Pacific Islander men are a naturally hairless people." She moved his head back towards the stage. "See for yourself, they clearly don't ---"
Jasper put his hand up. "Stop! You are making my eyes and ears bleed. Geeesus..."
We were only five minutes into the fundraising Luau show for Emmett and Seamus' Polynesian Dance group, and Rose said the price of admission was already worth it. Between getting peeks of Emmett walking around backstage in a loincloth that would make Tarzan blush and watching Jasper cringe at all the male flesh in front of him, it was definitely a good start to the evening. The "something" between Emmett and Rose had been advancing VERY slowly in the past couple of weeks. But here she was, at the luau. And she was even in a floral printed dress to keep in theme. Emmett kept peeking out at her from behind the stage and giving her a big smile.
Emmett with a sweet smile on his face while walking around bare assed was somehow endearing....
And Rose actually seemed flustered by his partial nudity. This was hard for her, I knew it. Luaus and floral dresses and group situations weren't Rose's scene. Rose was mothereffing Clint Eastwood, who didn't need friends or family, just a sunset to ride into alone. She was doing this for me, because it made me happy to see her outside and among people who cared about her; and even though she wouldn't admit it, she was doing it for Emmett too. He was hoping she would show.
And then there was Alice, who had helped to pull off the luau in the previous weeks with her friends. She looked absolutely gorgeous tonight. She was in a stunning wrap-around dress, and her makeup was shimmery and highlighting her doe shaped eyes and full lips. Her normally spikey hair was styled straight and flipped up at the ends, with a cascade of plumerias pinned onto the side her head. She was glowing - literally. She got a mystic tan earlier on in the day with a sparkle coat.
Her beauty was not going unnoticed by her newfound friends either onstage. Like a topless Seamus in a male version of a microminiskirt doing a Samoan slap dance right in front of her with a big ass smile on his face.
"Good hell, he just slapped sweat onto me, " Jasper yelled out in an apalled tone.
Alice fingered the moisture off Jasper's face and smelled it while rubbing it in between her fingers. "It's baby oil, honey. Not sweat. They all oiled up before they came onstage." She brought her finger back up to her face, and then gave it a quick lick.
" Well, maybe it's mixed with a little bit of sweat."
By the time Emmett and Seamus made their way out for an ancient male hula, Jasper had had enough. The boys onstage were in the middle of some suggestively slow pelvic rotations when Alice and Rose's heads were hula hooping around in time with their hips:
"Round, and round and round it goes," Rose said hypnotically.
Alice continued: "Where it stops? Nobody kno---"
"Who's the culturally insensitive one now?"Jasper crossed his arms like child who hadn't gotten his way. Normally, Alice would just tell him to stop acting like a jack ass and get back to the pelvic rotations.
.
Instead, she started rubbing his shoulders indulgently, gave him a sympathetic pout and mouthed to us: "Watch this."
She turned back towards Jasper, brushing her lips against his.
"Say it."
Jasper let out a small grin. "Which one."
"My favorite."
He scrunched up his left eye. "Um, You rock the party....."
Oh, God. Alice and her insistence to rap badly was contagious and now infecting Jasper....
"Start over. You have to commit to it. You can't dishonor MC Lyte like that."
He snickered silently, and then straightened up his face. "YOU rock the party.... that rocks my body."
Alice clapped before rewarding him with a lingering kiss. His hands clamped onto her hips almost roughly, pushing her closer into him. Alice responded with a giggle and a hip swivel in her chair.
Rose gasped. I asked her what was wrong.
"They are so having sex already, " she whispered in my ear. The first time Rose had ever used a whisper in my presence. She usually just yells everything from the rooftops.
Wait...what?
Rose shook her head at my obliviousness. "And not just missionary style beginner's sex. Like....reverse cowgirl sex. Advanced positions."
I argued with her she had it all wrong. That Jasper handled her like fine china - that just last week he would only give her chaste kisses goodnight after their date - at our door even. Rose shrugged her shoulders.
"Last week means seven days ago. No one ever said Alice wasn't a quick study."
"She would have told me." It came out defensive, maybe because it was.
"Not exactly. She may not want to make you feel uncomfortable since you aren't having sex yet."
I cocked my head in her direction. "How do you know if I'm having sex or not?"
Rose just stared at me for a long moment before letting out a laugh.
"Oh, sweet, sweet, Bella. Rose's Scale of Sextimation never lies."
Humpf.
Yes, there really was a scale to sextimate who's doing it and who wasn't. She said it was something she formulated on her own, thanks to years of watching male - female interaction behind a bar. She began with the first rule:
Thinking every little thing your mate does is adorable.
Apparently, Alice just ran headfirst into that one. And Rose said the hip swivel inferred other things: "But that's another lesson for another day."
"Seriously, Bella. Do you think anyone wants to hear Jasper's lily-white, Ambercrombie wearing ass rap? Do you think anyone will find it cute? Of course not. But Alice is so dickmatized at the moment, she doesn't know her up from her down. Her right from her left. Her oatmeal - y boyfriend from Kanye West. Love isn't blind, it's tolerant. But sex? Sex is blinding...."
Hmm. For the last several days Alice had been very enthusiastic. But wait...
"What's with you always calling Edward a ricecake and Jasper oatmeal?"
Rose thought for a moment, her voice going back to the shouting-from-the-rooftops-loud. "Well, I made Edward a ricecake cause he seemed more like an airhead, but he showed smarts going after you. So he's been upgraded to like...Cream of Wheat. He's oatmeal, minus the lumps."
Aw, Rose's first compliment to Edward. Even though he rolled his eyes my way in silent response.
"So, what's Emmett in the culinary scheme of things?"
Rose glanced up at him onstage, his hips full of vim and vigor as he took another pelvic stroll around the corner. "Um, how about Panda Express Orange Chicken. He's all hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. And he's sweet, but he's got some chili pepper flakes on top for spice."
Edward grimaced. "Don't encourage her," he said loud enough so Rose would hear.
I threw up a warning finger in both their directions while I stood up and walked away - my cellphone was ringing. I headed off to the exit - but not before catching Rose while she leaned into Edward:
"Just between you and me, her mom calls nonstop throughout her shifts."
I glanced back, catching Edward nodding thoughtfully before he answered softly: "Same thing at home too."
Crap.
The last thing I needed was those two to join forces - they would be unstoppable.
Sorta like Renee and me.
Renee had been calling a lot lately, but that wasn't so odd. It had been just the two of us for the first 15 years of my life, and marriages and moves to Forks couldn't break that bond we had. We were still one another's best friends and sole confidantes.
Well, for the most part - with the exception of where Edward was concerned. She knew about him, knew we were dating. But I hadn't gone into depth about the extent of what Edward was to me. Part of it was my pride. My mom had always been so proud of her baby being such an army of one: a living, breathing correction of mistakes she had made in her impulsive youth. Of course she wouldn't trade her life choices ever, she always reassured me, because she wouldn't have me. But there was no way in hell she wanted to hear that I'd been swept off my feet, the same year she had been swept off her feet by Charlie.
Charlie sweeping anything off their feet was hard to imagine......
And then there was Phil. Freaking Phil. Good enough guy in his own right, but a terrible match for my mom. I knew that going in; hell, Renee knew that going in. Even as I got on the plane to head out to Washington, I made Phil promise to take care of my mom - the way she needed to taken care of. The way I had all those years.
"I promise, Bells," he shot back, with a sincere smile on his face.
He had no freaking clue what that promised entailed at the time.
He knew now, though. Which is another reason I couldn't tell my mom about what was going down with Edward. How could I tell her everything, while her marriage was on it's last breath?
So, I kept my first big secret from my mom. And I let her do all the talking instead; it was the least I could do, like some penance for having something that was being taken away from her at the same time.
"Mom?" I was outside out now, the cool evening breeze reminding me how stuffy and hot the luau hall was in comparison.
"Bella?"
Not mom. I checked the caller ID -something I rarely did anymore, since my phone was a directline for my mom now.
"Esm--" I stopped myself halfway through. While I called my mom by her first name, Edward called his "Mother." Esme sounded wrong. " Mrs. Cullen?"
She laughed and said yes. We went through the small talk routine. I told her work and school were going well, Alice seemed to be flourishing in college, that Edward was with me right now at a luau for friends--
"He's beside you right now?" Her voice sounded concerned. I told her no.
"Listen, Bella. I'm trying to figure out how to go about this."
This?
"And all I know right now is that I needed to call you first. You seem to be the one who would know best. And I need you to not mention this to Edward right now. Not yet at least, until we arrive tomorrow."
It was the weekend before Thanksgiving. Edward was heading home on Wednesday to their house. His parents had no prior plans to head down to visit this weekend.
What the hell was going on?
xx
RPOV
Bella came back with watery eyes. A first; usually she was in mother bear mode when she talked to her mom, using soothing tones and reassuring words. I mouthed if she was okay, she nodded.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
I poked her in the rib, and that got her to smile. Edward wrapped his tenacles around her as always, asking her what was wrong. He'd annoy me with all his cheesy fawning-
if it weren't for the fact Bella actually ate that shit up and asked for seconds.
As he hugged her, Edward shook his head my way.
Ew.
I can't believe we built some weird alliance together tonight. It would make it harder to call him Billy Bush behind his back now that we had a common cause.
Wait - I never bothered calling him Billy behind his back to begin with...
Bella started the Wednesday night band gigs at Casey's so that she made more money and could quit her waitressing job. But it was one month later, and she was still working several nights a week waitressing. Edward told me moments earlier he was at a loss as to why she was still working so much.
Which of course he would be at a loss - Daddy probably hooked him up with a Platinum card and a pretty pennied bank account before dropping him off at college. But Bella was from a different sort of family, one more like mine. She hadn't told me too many particulars, but I figured it out quickly. Bella learned at an early age to be self sufficient. Even more than that; self sufficient, while taking care of others around her.
"She's probably sending money back home," I finally said, when more subtle hints went over Edward's Ritchie Rich head. "She's the type."
He got all huffy and indignant about the idea of her mom accepting cash.
"And that right there, Billy, is why she keeps it from you. Just because you have never had to shell out money for your parents, doesn't mean you wouldn't do it in a heartbeat if they needed it."
That shut him up.
I told him he needed to play it smarter with her, not make it so obvious how he disapproved of how her mom I'd let him know if I thought anything else was up, and vice versa. And if Bella was getting overwhelmed in anyway, maybe we could try to get her to talk about it. She was still burning the candle at both ends when it came to school and work.
Her coming back in tears probably qualified talkey time asap.
Edward hopped up to go refresh her drink. "What's up, buttercup? Your mom okay?"
Bella just shook her head as she laughed. "Actually, that was Edward's mom."
Okay....
"What the hell did she say to you?"
She leaned in and whispered quickly, with Edward making his way back to our table. "Have you ever done something really selfish, and didn't even realize it?"
I thought for a second. "Uh, probably on an hourly basis."
Edward silenced any further hints from her end. He handed her the cup, put his arm around her, and then placed his other hand on her knee.
I tried not to laugh. She caught it.
"What's so funny?"
I leaned in so that Edward couldn't hear. "One surefire sign of sextimation is when people have their hands unconsciouisly within a one foot radius of the others' goods."
Like Oatmeal and Alice, whose hands were going for a record six centimeter radius all evening. Who knew Lumpy O. had it in him?
"Or on the flip side, how others keep their hands outside the hotzone." I nodded down at Edward's hand placement. "You haven't let him drive-thru the Golden Arches yet."
Bella scrunched her nose up at me, and raised Edward's hand up to her mid-thigh defiantly. He looked away from the stage peformers,winked at her - and then slipped his hand back down to her knee.
I gasped - the second time tonight. "Bella, he's been retrained so well. You are making him buy the whole Happy Meal before you hand him his free toy!"
xx
Bella was finally convinced.
"They ARE having sex. They are SO having sex! That virgin impersonator!"
It was almost midnight now, and Bella and I had clung to one another throughout the evening. Whatever she talked about with Esme was making her meek around Edward and clingy with me. And I was avoiding Emmett; every time he approached me at the luau, my eyes kept wandering down to his treasure chest of rotating wonders down south. I didn't mean to, it just happened. He was like one of those wind-up hula girl dolls that shake violently from side to side while smiling at you. I just kept anticipating his pelvis to explode into a rhythmic frenzy again at any moment and poke my eye out by accident.
But hey - if there was a way to lose an eye in style, wouldn't that be it? By a bare assed, hip swinging, pelvic thrusting Polynesian Mormon ex-priest virgin? It would make one hell of a conversation piece on your face.
Perfectly innocent, my wandering eyes and thinking - but he didn't know that the several times he saw me eyeing him south of the border. He just saw his semi-date staring wide eyed at his crotch and probably concluded I was some harlot.
Or Jezebel.
Or Hellcat.
Because Mormon virgin priests probably use classy, biblical sort of names for whores instead of the usual "skank" or "slut."
Which next to him, I probably was.
Emmett was a package deal if I ever saw one - he was even wrapped up in a bright yellow loincloth bow for me tonight. But he was more like a rare artifact on exhibition that I could admire safely behind fiber glass and a velvet rope. To actually interact with him made me feel self-conscious.
If I checked out his body for a second, did that mean I had to confess and say, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, thou hath brought out my inner whoredoms with thine fine ass?"
How does a Mormon virgin of twenty-four pelvic drill the stage half naked for five minutes straight, and NOT smoke a cigarette afterwards?
And then there were other worries. When he laughed when I yelled or cussed, was that a laugh of amusement - or of sheer mortification?
Did he know what had happened to me last year? Was I another soul for him to shine up and add to his collection because of it?
And all this obsessing over the smallest detail reminded me exactly why I hadn't tried to date for so long. I still wasn't ready.
So, I ignored Emmett and focused on Bella. I showed her everything I knew about sextimating body language - and Alice and Jasper did not disappoint. How Lumpy O., usually a quiet piece of cardboard in most situations, was suddenly getting all Pace Picante on any guy's ass who so much as took a quick peek at Alice's assets on display. He started working a crazy wonk eye at infiltrators, and then hovered his arms over her body like a cape.
"Metaphorical whizzing," Bella murmurred.
"No, that's sexual marking, dear. There's nothing metaphorical about it."
And then there was the little issue of his groin being velcro'ed to her backside anytime she stood up and walked anywhere. Or how Alice kept doing some weird, Charro-y "Coochie Coochie" hip swivel in her chair which would make Lumpy zone out.
But the true sextimating keeper? Came out of nowhere.
Alice by the end of the night had several children following her - no doubt because they probably thought between her height and weight, she was one of "their" kind. She was helping a little boy readjust the toy on his hand at one point at our table.
Or, "Spiderman-Super-Sonic-Wristband-with-web-shooting-action-up-to-twenty-feet-away" as the kid called it.
Jasper was at the dessert table, picking up some cake for Alice, when a girl approached him. It was innocent flirting on the girl's part, really. You could tell she was asking about the cake assortment, while throwing in a little jug jiggle on top.
But even with her back to them, as if she could feel foreign phermones bouncing off her man's body, Alice turned around.
"Jasper," she called out.
And like freaking Lara Croft on her best day, she swung that poor kid's arm around like a gun, and shot that motherfucking-spiderman-super-sonic-writsband-with-web-shooting-action-up-to-twenty-feet-away web outward and over......until it hit smack dab onto Jasper's groin.
Alice turned back around, and continued to talk to the child like nothing had happened. I broke the stunned silence with a loud throat clearing. She looked up innocently.
"What? I like it. So, I putta ring on it." She looked down at the kid(whose toy web needed a good Lysol spraying after that stunt), all pixie-like smiles. "A Spidey ring is the best ring of all, huh honey?"
Edward just shook his head. "Dad always did prefer taking you over me on his skeet shoot outings."
xx
Bella was finally convinced. The shoulda-putta-cock-ring-on-it display did her in.
"They are SO having sex. That virgin impersonator!"
She mouthed it to me at the bonfire we had headed to after the luau. Of course, putting all my attention on Bella at the luau made Emmett retreat subtly. He was talking to a group of friends a little down the way on the beach now. Alice and Lumpy O. were giving off their sex vibes on one log. Edward and Bella were giving off sweet vibes on another. Several couples took up the remaining logs. And me?
A single bump on a log. By myself. By my own design - like always. Which was fine most of the time, but not when you're facing a virtual love-in around you.
Bella could tell I wanted to go, but she wasn't letting me off the hook so easily. Out of nowhere, she pulled out an acoustic guitar and began to strum familiar chords on it, a smile growing on her face as she looked at me.
Fuckin' Sister-Maria-and-her-hills-are-alive-with-the-sounds-of-music ways.
"Rose and I work at the same place, and when we close shop together, we sing this song while we clean up sometimes." She nodded her head at me while I threw her a death stare. That didn't induce death, but simply made her smile more smug.
"I'll sing the verse, you sing the chorus," she said before heading in:
I am an old woman, named after my mother
My old man another child that's grown old
I was going to kill her. She knew I hated singing in public, but she also knew I hated bowing down to anything that much more. I took a quick breath before starting in when she finished the verse:
Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery
Make me a poster of an old rodeo
Alice's face lit up, as she snuggled deeper into Oatmeal. Bella was smiling like a proud mother, as Edward encased her in his arms.
I didn't look to the side, but I could feel Emmett's gaze on me while he stood with his friends.
It was like I was looking at all of them from the outside, in their couplets, their groups of friends. Smiling at me, me smiling back. And yet I wasn't a part of any of them.
I had lost count how many times I'd shared moments like these with others I'd befriended when I was younger, only to see them leave sooner then I'd like.
Everything's temporary - everyone even. Goddamned college towns suck. No one stays for long. Hell, not even mothers.
Just give me one thing that I can hold on to
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go
Bella started into the second verse, a perfect escape time. I got up quickly and began to make my way down the beach - in the opposite direction of Emmett and the rest of the Von Trapp family singers at the firepit.
I plopped down on a sand dune, watching the waves roll in and out.
Most of the time, I prided myself in this game plan of mine.
But not always.
Shit happens in life. Sometimes people you loved more than anyone fail you. Leave you behind even, to fend for yourself in a house full of testoterone. Sometimes people left behind have such a hard time coping, only a lone shadow of a parent is left to preside over a chaotic home. Sometimes older brothers leave as soon as they could too, sooner than you could handle.
Sometimes people do evil, evil things to others just because they can - and leave it for you to pick up the pieces.
Broken pieces that don't fit the same way they used to. Not yet anyways.
Shit happens.
But that didn't mean I had to run away like everyone else seemed to. I still walked down that street almost daily, refusing to take another longer detour to work. I still looked after my dad, even though I moved out years ago. I worked hard and scrimped and saved for a growing nest egg, because I wasn't expecting to bartend jack asses for the rest of my life.
I stayed.
I stayed and I did the hard work of picking up the pieces.
And while most of the time I found comfort in that, it only hurt right now.
I hated to admit it, it made me feel petty and mean, when she was nothing but kind to me. But watching Alice's world right now.... so beautiful and sweet and glowing and loved...where money wasn't a consideration let alone a worry, where parents coddled and stayed up late worrying about her....and boyfriends held her purse and brought her three different types of cake, just in case she don't like the one they picked....Alice's world made me think how sometimes shit happens in concentrated form for some and not others.........
A huge, broad form settled beside me.
Emmett.
He didn't say a word, just pulled on the bottom hem of his shirt and offered it to me.
Good Lord, of course while offering me a makeshift tissue, he had to expose his Baker's Dozen Pack.
Virginwhore.
I bent over, and wiped my eyes. When I tried to raise my head, Emmett gently pressed my head back down onto his lap. I didn't fight it.
"Thanks. I think I got mascara all over your shirt." He dismissed my concern with the a wave of a hand.
"You sang beautifully back there."
I told him I sang it with my brother when I was little and he was learning how to play guitar.
"Were you two close?"
I shook my head. "No, he's kind of an asshole."
He cracked up and began to brush his fingers through my hair, and then my scalp.
I had to tell him. This was hard for him - I sensed that from the beginning. Not just because I made it hard, but because he was still adjusting to normal things again after his mission. His touch was so tenative, but I knew he was extending himself way beyond than he normally would. I didn't want him to feel silly for trying.
"I really like you, Emmett."
His hands paused for a moment, but then got back to work.
"I really like you too, Rose."
Crap, he was really green. He didn't get that positive statements in the beginning are just opening acts for negating statements for the remainder of the "show."
"That's kind of the problem. I don't want this to end up the way it always ends up."
And there really was only one way.
I braced for the hand to pause again - it didn't.
"How does it always end up?" His voice was low, cautious.
I told him a story. About a girl who from a young age understood the power of beauty. Well-behaved beauty bored her - she thought petulant good looks was preferable. And most boys agreed with her. Her appearance got their attention, her attitude kept it.
Well, for awhile at least, while the chase was still on. But chases can't last forever. Sometimes she wanted to be caught.
"How does it always end up," Emmett interrupted. He didn't want to me to cushion this, he wanted me to give it to him straight. I sat up and looked into his eyes.
"I'd finally say they could come up at the end of the night, after many nights of saying no. One beer, we always agreed, nothing more."
"I don't drink beer." He tried to take my hand - I laid it back down on his lap gently.
"They'd spend the night. And by the next morning, things would be different."
"I wouldn't ask to spend the night, you know that." I continued on, ignoring his protests that were missing the big picture.
"They'd always say they were late to somewhere or another, while dressing quickly. They'd take a raincheck on breakfast, and guzzle down the coffee quicker than they needed to - even when it was scalding hot."
"I like breakfast."
"And I'd have this smile on my face for the whole day - maybe even the next day too. Until I figured out that this was the end of something, not the beginning of it."
Wow, I think the Lifetime Movie of the Week just found it's next subject material. The girl who cried because she was so pretty,
men could never get past her bustline and cheekbones. Ugh, I swear Gisele was pulling some similar bullshit on Oprah just last week....I was such a cliche.
"I like you a lot, Emmett. And I don't want things to end any other way between us than what it is now. I like you too much for that." I jumped to my feet, gave him quick kiss on the cheek, and headed back towards the cars. I knew Bella would see, because most likely Alice and her were watching my every move like Mother Hens as we spoke.
"Rose, wait." Emmett grabbed onto my arm.
His voice had an edge of anger to it - something I'd never heard before from him.
"What does any of that have to do with me? Is that your way of letting me know you're not interested in someone like me? Because you can just say it, don't bother putting kid gloves on."
Shit. He thought that was an elaborate way of saying I didn't want to date a churchboy virgin.....that I just wanted him to be my eunuch bff.
"It's not like that at all, Emmett. It's just.." It's just what? I didn't even know anymore. "It's just that I'm tired. I just want to go home."
"Of course you're tired, Rose. You and I just drank a bunch of beer and had sex and then vowed to never see eachother again right now. That'll do you in."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"And I didn't even get to hear how our first kiss went, the best part of all."
I rolled my eyes at him, even though my traitor heart did a little flutter thingy.
"I don't drink beer. I wouldn't ever ask to come up to your apartment; at least not for those reasons. I don't even drink coffee, and I don't have sex---"
"Well, after watching you onstage today, that's just a technicality."
That got him to smile - begrudgingly.
"And I have news for you. If what we've been doing this whole time for the last month is a chase? I don't like chases. There's nothing fun about orbiting around you from a distance, because that's the closest you'll let me in."
Hmmm....
"I don't want to chase you, and I don't want just one night with you." He took a deep breath through his nostrils, and I knew this was going to get messy. I could just tell.
"I love you."
I ripped my hand away from him in exasperation. "Geesus, Joseph, Mary, and the rest of the fucking apostles!" I poked him in the chest hard with my index finger - although I wanted to slap him Cher style and tell him to snap out of it.
"Mary and Joseph were his parents, not apostles."
"See, that's the last thing I want to hear from you, Emmett. You don't KNOW me. You can't love me when you don't know me. You are projecting on me like the other guys did. Maybe not with lust, but with whatever grand fantasies you have. Maybe you see me as some spiritual project, like your very own Mary Magdeline."
Emmett didn't so much as flinch. Which of course made me realize I was being a complete bitch to someone who just told me he loved me.
"I know you Rose." He led me back to the mound we had been sitting on. He waited until I was settled again before continuing.
"Do you think my friends and I eat at Casey's three times a week because the food is actually good," he asked with a mischievous grin.
Of course not.
"That was the closest you'd let me in at that point, where we could talk for a few moments at a time. But it was the moments where we weren't talking that I got to know you most."
Creepy. Sweet, but creepy. He caught my expression and grimaced before proceeding.
"Did you know, before you get behind the bar at the beginning of your shift, you roll your shoulders and shake your head, like a boxer prepping to step into the ring?"
I looked down in my lap, shaking my head.
"And tonight, before you sat down on that log by the bonfire, you rolled your shoulders again? Where others look forward to get togethers and parties, you seem to have to steel yourself up for them."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm out of step with what's going on around me, and I can't keep up. I don't know why."
Emmett bit his lip for a moment. "I think when you survive something big, it makes you feel different. Like with my father. Sometimes, when I'm around others, especially when people are celebrating, are at their happiest, it can make me feel alone. Because I don't know if it's in me to ever feel that carefree and weightless, after what I've been through. I think it is in me, and you, to feel that again. But it takes time. And work."
He was talking about his father. But he was really speaking to me, about what I'd survived.
"Something like that," was all I could muster so I wouldn't tear up again.
"I know how hard you work just to get through things others don't think twice about. And I know you hate your job, and you don't have many people you trust."
Nevermind, tears were pooling now.
"And I know nights like this"-motioning back to the Kumbaya crowd at the bonfire -"can make you feel like you don't belong, even among friends."
He pulled up his shirt hem again and offered to me without pause.
"I know you, Rose. And I like your petulance just fine, but I love your sincere side even more. And if I could just get that first kiss, you'd see. I won't chase you, or play games, and I'll come back again everyday if you'll let me."
The whole time he spoke he'd taken my face into his palms and moved in closer.
"I haven't kissed anyone in over a year," I blurted out.
"I beat you by a year," he shot back before scooping in.
He took his time leaving small kisses on my eyes and cheeks before honing in on my lips.
Even then, he was gentle and not intrusive.
A part of me wanted to jam my tongue down his mouth, Lord knows I had fixated on his full lips since the first day I met him.
But the bigger part of me understood what he was showing me in this moment. He was reassuring me that he would take care with me.
I backed up all of the sudden, when a fresh round of concerns came into my head.
"I hate churches. Like I go inside one, and it gives me hives."
He rolled his eyes at me and kissed my left cheek.
"I'll still come back everyday if you'll let me."
Foiled again.
"I say fuck. A lot. I use it in verb, adverb, adjective, and noun forms."
He kissed my right cheek.
"I'll still come back everyday if you'll let me."
Shiiit. He totally had my number.
"And partially because I say fuck a lot, mothers always hate me."
He kissed my nose.
"You know the answer."
I went on and on, with a list full of worries - mainly so I could get a kiss and that nice little refrain said outloud again and again. At some point, he wrapped his arms around me as I melted into his chest.
He'd annoy me with all his cheesy fawning -
If it weren't for the fact I was eating that shit up and asking for seconds.
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