Chapter 54: SELF-CONSCIOUS

Maya's POV

I return to work two days later a bit better than I was. Aunt Ali wasn't happy when I was dropped off at my apartment by Doctor Rorish who was in the process of lecturing me. I remained silent as she took in my deathly pale complexion, broken nose and weak posture. The sight of me then sparked yet another lecture and the only reason it stopped was me nearly passing out again. I was then forced to take a shower, eat something and then straight to bed.

I felt like a child but it was my own fault. I had to face the consequences.

"You look a lot better than you did on Friday," Christa says appearing beside me at the nurse's station. "I didn't expect you to be in today after the state you were in."

"It was come back or deal with Ali for another day," I smirk. "And anyway Gran has woken up. I want to be close to the hospital."

"How is she?" Christa asks.

"She's as good as she can be," I say weakly. "Paralysis and speech impediment with memory issues as expected."

"Awk Maya…"

"No sympathy," I say firmly. "We've been over this."

"Of course," She smiles.

"Now have you seen Mario?" I smile. "I haven't seen him since Friday."

"I saw him about but haven't seen him for about twenty minutes…" Christa says but she trails off as we both spot him by the white board.

Chatting to some very pretty brunette.

Who was practically all over him.

"Please tell I'm seeing things and that a hot brunette isn't all over my boyfriend…" I stutter out.

"I would lie but she is kinda all over your boyfriend," Christa says sympathetically.

"And do you know who this person is?"

"Heather… Not sure about the surname. She's a surgical resident, I think," Christa says. "Now Maya don't freak out. It's probably innocent."

"Yeah. Innocent," I smile. "Why would I freak out?"

I was freaking out.

"Just don't jump to conclusions, okay?" Christa says. "Talk to him."

I nod as I pick up a file and start to read.

"Patient," I say leaving.

It's innocent, I think to myself. It's innocent.

Mario's POV

When Maya returns to work, she doesn't seem right. When I talk to her she's closed off and doesn't seem to be in a good mood. Something was definitely wrong. I just had no clue what.

Then there was Heather.

I don't know what she's playing at but she's got to be some kind of crazy. Every moment she has she's talking to me and is practically all over me. I push away her advances. I love Maya and Heather was not going to change that. She had to get that into her head.

I feel Heather watching me as I fill out forms and restrain from yelling out. Go away woman.

"Hey Mario," She says coming up beside me.

"Hello Heather. What do you want?" I say still filling out the form.

"I want to go out to dinner with you."

"How about no."

"Why not?" She smirks.

"Because I have a girlfriend," I say sternly.

"What? That goody two shoes that constantly gets sick?" Heather laughs. I clench my fists to control my anger. "Mario come on! You can to do better!"

"And your saying you're better than her?" I snap. "The person, who by this point has slept with nearly everyone in surgery, is better than Maya? Maya who is kind, smart and loving as well as beautiful. Heather you are not better than her. Nowhere near. Now leave me alone!"

With that I walk away.

Maya's POV

Over the next couple of days I see Mario and Heather together a lot. Heather is usually quite handsy with Mario when I see them but I see Mario getting annoyed with her. But that doesn't help me. I feel threatened.

I push the thoughts back forcing myself to keep working. Bigger things were hitting Angel's anyway. A new doctor had shown up as an attending. He was Angus's brother and was causing issues in that area.

However he was a good doctor. We were lucky to have him.

"Cameron! Lorenson! With me!"

Christa and I both turn round to find Doctor Leighton calling us and we quickly follow. He leads us to the emergency and then looks at us sternly.

"We have a RTA coming in and I need you two focused, understood?"

"Understood," We chime in unison.

"One last thing," He says and we look at him confused. "Doctor Rorish is not to be contacted during this."

"What? Why?" Christa asks.

"Because we have two adults and two children on their way in critical condition," He says. I feel Christa stiffen at the word children. "Lorenson I want you on the adult male and Cameron you on the youngest boy."

We nod and before we can say anything the doors burst open.

But there's only three gurneys.

"Where's the fourth patient?" Doctor Leighton asks running up beside the woman who is in her late thirties.

Gosh this case was near identical to Rorish's.

"Oldest boy died on site," One of the paramedics says sadly.

My heart drops as I run beside the youngest boy's gurney. I knew why I'd been sent over to him. Christa would get too attached and he knew if I took the woman I'd get too attached to her.

"What's his status?" I asks as we reach Centre Stage. I see Doctor Hudson appear to help Christa out of the corner of my eye. The mother was losing way too much blood. We quickly change the gurneys.

"Severe breathing issues and weak pulse. Injuries to torso, possible broken ribs, definite broken leg and a severe head injuries. There's been a lot of blood loss and he has been in and out of consciousness," The paramedic says. Before he can say anything else the child starts to wake up and panic.

"Mom!" He screams and then proceeds to gasp for air.

"Hey sweetheart, I need you to calm down for me okay?" I say softly smoothing the boy's hair down gently. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Luke…" He whimpers.

"Hello, Luke. I'm Maya," I say. "Now I'm going to help you. I just need to give you something to make you sleep first. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"Can I get ten milligrams of Lorazepam please?" I say to the nurse beside me. She hands it to me quickly and I administer it quickly. The boy is out in seconds.

I quickly move to search the boy and find a medical bracelet on his left wrist. Asthmatic. That explains the breathing issues.

"I need a shot of Xolair!" I say as I hook up his IVs. I'm handed it quickly and I inject it. The kid's breathing eases slightly but not by much.

I then check his leg to find bones in the calf broken. There's bruising to the abdomen suggesting internal bleeding and a lot of deep cuts as well as puncture wounds. A lot of damage to chest and a pretty large head wound.

I quickly pull my stethoscope out of my pocket and check his chest. The breath sounds are ragged and strained on both sides. There is a collapsed lung on the left and a punctured on the right and definite broken ribs.

Crap.

"We need a chest tube kit and intubation kit over here!" I call.

A nurse promptly hands me the chest tube kit but I needed to make a choice. Did I do the breathing tube or intubation first?

"I need to intubate first," I say and she quickly hands me the kit.

I move the boys head and try desperately to get the tube in but there's too much blood. I desperately try to stay calm as a high pitched whine fills the room coming from the mother.

"Doctor Leighton I need help over here! There's too much blood!" I yell over the noise.

I see him make eye contact with Doctor Hudson who nods sadly.

"Get Doctor Rorish in here!" Doctor Leighton yells. "Neil takeover here! I'll help Maya!"

There's a quick swap over and out of the corner of my eye I see Christa still doing CPR. Doctor Leighton quickly takes over the intubation and I move to the left side. I quickly make the incision in-between the ribs and work quickly. I get the tube in after navigating around broken bone and there's a whoosh as the air rushes in re-inflating. There's some blood but not a lot. I tape the tube down.

"That's the chest tube in…" I say but I'm cut off by Rorish walking in.

"What's the situa…" She begins but doesn't finish.

"Doctor Rorish please help Doctor Lorenson," Doctor Leighton says.

That's when there's a whine from Doctor Hudson's side of the room. CPR starts but just over a minute later Doctor Hudson calls it. The mother isn't far behind. I see Doctor Rorish stiffen as Christa calls it and then she does something I don't expect. She keeps doing the CPR past it.

I don't get to react to it as Luke suddenly seizes.

"We need five milligrams of diazepam!" I yell. Doctor Leighton injects it.

No affect.

"Push another five," He calls.

Very little affect.

Crap we can't push anymore.

"Maya what have you given him!?" Doctor Leighton says grabbing Luke's head to prevent more damage.

"Xolair for asthma and Lorazepam to sedate him! That's it!" I exclaim.

"Does he have any other conditions?"

"His bracelet only said asthma!"

The seizing stops only to be replaced by the monitors going mad. Crap.

"He's going to go into cardiac arrest," Doctor Leighton says as I jump on side of the gurney to give CPR.

One elephant… Two elephant… Three elephant… Four elephant…

I keep going with the CPR and watch as Doctor Leighton checks his eyes. His face drops and no words need said. Haemorrhaging. My heart drops knowing what had caused it. I clear for the paddles and then jump back on when they don't have an effect.

Dammit Maya! You had to use Xolair!

I clear again letting them use the paddles and then jump back on.

"Come on Luke. Keep fighting! Come on!" I mumble.

I was starting to get out of breath and to sweat. Tears start to come and when they do the third time of defib there's still no response. I jump back on but I barely get more than four compressions before Doctor Leighton grabs my arm. I stop knowing better.

"Time of death ten oh four PM," Doctor Leighton says.

Dammit.

I see Rorish disappear out the side door but all I felt was sick. I had to use the freaking Xolair. They taught you in med school not to do that.

"Don't blame yourself Maya," Jesse says suddenly appearing beside me. He must have shown when Rorish did.

"Too late," I mumble ripping off my gloves. "I'm away to get some air."

I quickly head for the roof and Jesse doesn't follow, too smart than to do so.

This was my fault.

This was my freaking fault.