Ok so I have an explanation for not updating in forever. My laptop crashed. I fixed it on my own but I lost all my, well, everything. So I had to wait until I could get into my dorm (we get kicked out over winter break) so I could get my disk for Microsoft.
Happy late Christmas, or happy holidays to be politically correct.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"Janie, pick up," I beg under my breath. "Come on, come on, I know it's early, please," I feel my eyes tearing up.
"Hello," her voice rings in my head and I almost think its part of my imagination. "Eli, are you there?" she asks.
"Yeah, I'm here," I say, as a single tear rolls. "Janie we need to talk," my voice cracks. "Please, come over, please," I push the tears back down, choking them back.
"Eli, what's wrong? I can come over, just give me some time to get ready and for my dad to bring me, unless you want to get me?" she wonders.
"No, have him bring you, just promise me one thing, promise me that you won't hate me after we talk today," I wait for her response, impatiently.
"Eli, what did you do," she sounds terrified, her voice shakes lightly.
"Promise me, you have to promise," I demand roughly.
"Ok, I promise," her voice shakes harder , she forces the words out quickly. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." she pauses, breathing a few heavy breaths. "Bye, Eli." she hangs up. I dial Adam, but blocking it, to see if he will maybe answer.
"Hello," a groggy Clare answers in a questioning tone. I start to panic and look at the number, it does in fact, belong to Adam.
"Clare?" I say loudly, shocked.
"Eli," she echoes my tone.
"It's eight o'clock in the morning, and you two are hanging out?" I start to get excited, but not in a good way.
"We fell asleep," she stutters softly into the phone, "why are you calling?" she sounds annoyed, but interested
"He slept over?" I yell into my phone.
"Yeah, we fell asleep," she repeats. "I am finally in some sort of peace for the first time since yesterday morning, sort of." she pauses before adding, "Thanks for waking me up from that."
"Clare, I'm sorry." I debating between hanging up and waiting to see if she responds. "I don't know what else I can say. Clare I need you more than you know, you and Adam are the only friends that I have here. I know I should have told you right from the beginning, I know I should have told Adam, Clare I didn't even tell Janie," I feel a fluttering in my chest, a feeling I haven't felt since Julia and I fought.
"Tell me what," Janie's sweet voice sends a calming vibe over me, startling me at the same time.
"You and Jenna can be friends," Clare says.
"Clare, I'm sorry, ok? I have to go, I'll call you later, feel free to take the time in between to decide if you are going to actually answer my call." I hang up the phone without waiting for her response. I rotate my body to face Janie.
"Eli," she pauses, breathing deeply. "Eli, what did you do?" her voice rapid, shaking her head, "No" in a seemingly involuntary way. Finally I feel a tear make its way down the planes of my cheek. Janie whispers my name once more. Stepping forward, I take her hand in mine, walking in the direction of my room. When we get to my room she walks past me, stopping a about a foot away from my bed to turn and look at me. I shut the door and walk towards her.
"You're starting to scare me, Eli, just tell me what is going on." she demands, nerved. I put both hands on her shoulders and push downward so that she will sit on my bed. Her eyes shift up to meet mine, and I look away fast. I yank the my nightstand drawer open and pull out the folder. I sit down next to her, sliding the folder across my lap to her awaiting hands.
"That ought to explain everything to you, I hope-" I trail off. She runs a thin, pale hand over the blank, unrevealing cover. She notices my intent stare, and slides a finger into the outer edge of the folder. "Open it quickly before I change my mind," I demand, gripping the extra denim of the thigh on my, not so, skinny jeans. She flips the folder open, scanning the material over with her eyes quickly , then looking over at me.
"Eli, what is this?" she voice shakes. "Are you trying to tell me that you lied to me, are you saying that she was very pregnant, are you trying to tell me that I would have had a niece in a few months? Eli, why would you guys do this?" her eyes well up with tears.
"I am trying to tell you that, Julia and I were expecting a little girl, just under a year ago. In fact, her first birthday would have been exactly one month from today. I am trying to tell you that, we were afraid, that I still am. I am trying to tell you everything you didn't know." I notice the tears stream down her face in two thin watery black lines. I let out a sob, freeing built up tears I had been forcing not to fall.
"You could have told me, I could have helped, I wouldn't have been mad, but now I don't understand why you waited so long," she says, inhaling sharply, I turn to face Janie.
"Janie, I don't know anything other than I made up one lie so you wouldn't be upset about us ever having sex, then I made up another because I couldn't lie to Clare about being a virgin, but I couldn't come out with this truth. Until yesterday when I knew things with Clare were becoming more serious, I had to tell someone, and I talked to the girl who stole Clare's last boyfriend away from her. I tried covering up mine and Julia's secret because it hurt too much to remember, but I just kept building up on lies, Janie, Clare broke up with me and I don't know what to do anymore," I vent, hoping she could comprehend at least some of it, my crying so thick and over powering of my voice.
Janie faces me and leans in, throwing her arms around my neck, sobbing into my shoulder.
"Eli, I can never hate you, but this was not the way I would have wanted to find out. You know that I love you, and I know Clare does too. Right now we are going to work on getting her back, then we will have a talk about this, I can't come to terms with this yet-" she trails off, shaking in my arms. I nod my head.
"Ok," my voice cracks. She pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes.
"We're going over there, now." she says determined.
"I can't drive, I'm a mess." I confess to the only person I have right now.
"I can," she says pulling herself together quickly. "I got a lot of my crying out about her last night, my mom brought her up at dinner. I can drive Morty,' she says standing up.
"Driving a hearse is a little more difficult than driving your dads car ," I stand up and follow her as she walks out of my room and down the hall to the front door. She pulls my keys off the wall mount and slips into her shoes. I pull on my skate shoes and follow her out of my house.
"She doesn't live far away, right?" Janie asks me as we slide into my hearse. I shut the passenger side door for the first time.
"Just around the corner, I could probably drive, unless you want to test Morty out," I lie, knowing I can't drive, I can't even see straight from my tear blurred vision.
"I kind of want to drive, where am I going?" she asks turning the key in the ignition. This is the first time anyone other than myself have driven Morty since I got him.
"Right out of the driveway, left at the corner," I explain, looking out the window. "You have to pull out of the driveway more than normal," I try to help her. We reach the end of my street and she turns left, I direct her the rest of the way until I see Clare's house, with no car in the driveway. We pull in and Janie parks Morty fairly well for a first time hearse driver.
"Come on, we're going in." she tells me. She climbs out without hesitation and starts towards the door. I hurry to catch up with her, and she leans over to me again when we have reached the door. "I think you should probably knock," she suggests. With two quick knocks I panic, taking deep breaths, my chest rising and falling quickly. I start to turn around to walk away and Janie grabs a hold of my arm and digs her fingers into the sleeve of my black blazer. The door opens and someone sighs, I look up.
"Clare, its Eli and some girl," Adam calls into her house, frustrating me. I clench my left hand into a fist, hidden by my long sleeve. He opens then door, eying Janie suspiciously.
"Hi, I'm Janie," she extends her free hand to Adam, who shakes it lightly.
"Adam, nice to meet you," he says, clearly annoyed. Her fingers still tight around my right wrist. Clare appears in the doorway between the entrance and the kitchen. Janie frees my wrist to go up to Clare, hugging her tightly.
"Can we try talking," I ask, looking her dead in the eye. She bites her lip and shuts her eyes for a second before nodding. "Upstairs," I suggest. She looks at the stairway and then me before walking ahead of me up them. I see Janie pull Adam into the kitchen, and she takes a seat in a chair. Then she is out of my line of vision because I have made it almost all the way up the stairs.
"You want to talk, go ahead," Clare says coldly, but with some sort of emotion, with feeling.
Watching the Peoples Choice Awards.
Side Notes:
Robert Patteinon looks high and bored.
Kristen Stewart looks like she is anorexic.
Taylor Lautner almost looked like he had lipstick on.
The Roommate will be an awesome movie.
Selena Gomez is so pretty, and can sing very well, but they need to turn her mic up.
Taylor Swift's dress is strange…very strange.
Anyone else have something to say about them?
I know I am super late with this but: What are your resolutions?
Mine is to stop getting so irritated.
Did anyone get something great for the holidays?
