(Author's note: I've been keeping to Adam's actual appearance schedule very closely up until now, but in April 2010 I have him take an abrupt hiatus — you'll see why. I must say it's very exciting for me to be writing all this stuff that's been on my storyboard since 2011. Thank you again for reading this far. Quoting here from 1x22, and then one more chapter in Journey, and then we're done with season one! -amy)
Adam reached across to the other side of the aisle and nudged Jacob with his foot. Jacob grunted. "What?"
"We're not going to make the connecting flight."
"Prob'ly not," Jacob agreed. "Can I go back to sleep now?"
"It's three AM. How can you sleep?" He turned to Tommy, who actually was asleep, slouched against his carry-on. "I have never figured out how to sleep in airports."
"It might involve not talking," said Jacob. "You could try it. Dunno. Maybe a crazy idea."
"Hint taken," Adam said. Three seconds later, he nudged Jacob again. "Except."
Jacob turned a baleful eye on him. "Except what?"
"Except if I don't make the connecting flight, I won't be home in time to call Kurt and Noah."
"Leave them a text, for God's sake. You've missed calls with them before."
"No, but this one is important. It's the day before their big performance. Their choir thing. Glee club, whatever." Adam bounced in his seat. "I listened to their rehearsal yesterday."
"Charming," Tommy said distinctly, his eyes still closed. "Time to shut up now, Glitterbaby."
"Okay, okay." He sat back, barely subdued, and pulled out his phone, typing out a quick text to Kurt: Stuck in the airport, flight's delayed. I won't be home until after you're at school. He doubted Kurt was awake yet. Now that Cheerios practice was over with for the season, he didn't have a reason to be up before six AM anymore. He wasn't going to bother to text Noah; he seldom called back unless he was in crisis.
Adam sighed. He tweeted a photo of Tommy's sleeping face. He thumbed through his contacts and paused on one name. "Huh. I bet she's awake. Is it three hours earlier or two in Iowa?" He decided it didn't matter, and pressed the SEND button, waiting through three rings before it picked up.
"Riordan." Adam could hear the murmur of a crowd in the background, and smiled, thinking of what must be going on in the club right now.
"Good evening, Tess. It's Adam." He sat up, trying not to sound like he'd been waiting in an airport for five hours. "I hope I'm not bothering you."
"Adam, hello - bear with me for a few moments, sweetheart, while I get somewhere quieter. Is everything all right?"
"Everything's fine," he reassured her. "Other than our plane being delayed. We're all very, very done with airports and could use some flat surfaces to lie down on." He surveyed Tommy, who was curled into an improbably small space on the chair beside him. "Well, some of us could."
"Good. And here's my nice quiet office," she said with a sigh. "What's on your mind? I'd heard about how busy you've been."
He rubbed at his eyes, trying to focus as best as he could. "Well, I'm about to become even more busy. I had a thought that I would like to come to Lima at the end of May, after Noah's daughter is born, to visit. And then I heard that you might be planning to visit as well, and I thought I should check in with you to be sure it didn't interfere with your own plans."
"Oh, sweetheart. You won't interfere with my plans in the least, don't you worry about that. It will be good to see you again. And there's a baby coming. I'm sure you can't wait to hold her."
It was hard, on so little sleep and hopped up from travel, to maintain his filter, but Adam did his best. "To be honest, I'm not really a baby person. I'm excited for them, of course. It'll be fine."
"Adam." He winced at the tone, but it would undoubtedly be wiser to let her continue. "Adam, I"ll not have any of that. You wanted to speak with me about something, and though I appreciate the white lie of you not wanting to interfere with my plans - no, stop," she said, as he began to protest. "We'll have what's on your mind now, young man. Do you hear me?"
He was somewhat abashed. Glancing over at Jacob - who appeared to be asleep again, although Adam wouldn't bet on it - he replied, "Uh... yes ma'am?"
"This is not a simple situation, Adam. As a matter of fact, it's one of the more complicated family situations I've seen. It's understandable that you would have some concerns, and you need to drop your discomfort and discuss that with someone. I'm honored that you appear to have chosen me - but you need to be clear with me. What's bothering you?"
"Honestly, I didn't -" He paused in his reply, because it was obvious that Tess saw something that he hadn't. He tried to dig a little deeper before resuming his thought. "Well... Noah's situation is about to change. Parents need to focus on their children. The selfish part of me isn't exactly looking forward to that. I figured this was my chance to be here for him, before I go on tour. I won't really be available to Noah after that."
"It's understandable that you feel that way - Noah will need to focus on the baby. You must keep in mind that what won't change is his need for your support - if anything, it may increase his need. Perhaps think of it as a shift in energy - there will be less time one on one, but the time that is available will likely be deeper and more intense. And I would also like you to consider your sense of fairness, young man. His need for you once you go on tour won't change - and neither will Kurt's."
Adam swung his legs over the edge of the seat and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, trying to get comfortable, although it was probably a lost cause. "I know. It's already been so hard to stay in contact. We're all committed to that right now, but I'm not assuming Noah will continue to feel that way after his daughter's born. It's less than a month away."
"Try to listen a little more closely, darling. His need for you is not going to vanish in a month, or even two months. And it is likely to increase."
"I know," Adam said impatiently, suppressing a surge of annoyance. "Trust me, I already feel bad enough for not being able to give him what he needs."
"Stop. He needs you, yes, but remember he is not alone. And I have a suggestion about keeping in contact, but it will require some effort on your part."
"I'm listening?" He drummed his fingers on the armrest. "I don't know what I should expect about being on tour. If it's anything like Idol, I'll have more than enough down time to make phone calls, but not a lot of face-to-face opportunities."
"I'd like to suggest something in addition to the phone calls. In my personal experience, there is no substitute for something solid and real. And there's one way to create that, when distance separates loved ones. Try writing, Adam. Pen to paper. With how busy you are, perhaps pen to postcard. The boys would probably love receiving postcards from every town you're in. I maintain correspondence with many of my own boys, and even with my father, since we live so far apart. I'm certain you'll have some way to pick up mail at your tour stops."
He smiled despite the hour. "Paper correspondence. How charming. You might change your mind once you see how bad my handwriting is."
"I doubt it, and as you've suggested that you will, I expect to see some soon. There's no harm in old-fashioned courtesy and romance, Adam."
"Kurt would appreciate it, I'm sure. Well, thanks for the suggestion." His imagination had already flashed on a portable desk of sorts, with stationery and pens and sealing wax for fastening envelopes. "Maybe an opportunity to write like that will inspire me."
"I wouldn't be surprised, I know that many singers and artists and writers tend to keep a small notebook around, and get in the habit of recording what the see in the world around them - it's a way of hanging on to the little silver moments in life, so that they're not overshadowed by gold - or glitter," she said, sounding contemplative. "I imagine you'll have a PA or personal assistant who could keep you in postcards and stationery, so you have one less thing to worry about. I heard you may be taking Angela into consideration?"
"Angela?" he repeated.
"Yes, Carl's Angela. He's been looking for an appropriate placement for her for years, and this would be different enough from how she's been serving Carl that I feel she'd do well. And you're an upstanding enough young man, I believe you could handle her."
Adam frowned, nudging Tommy to be sure he really was asleep. "Well, actually, Kurt did mention that to me. I wasn't sure how to react. How would I take care of a slave on tour?"
Tess chuckled. "Darling, she'll take care of you. That's part of why I think it would be such a good idea for you. You'll need to mind that her physical needs are cared for, but you already do that for your band and crew. I don't think handing out discipline here and there would be a hardship for you, after watching you handle your boys."
It might have been due to exhaustion, but her comment was unexpectedly moving. "Thank you," he said softly. He paused, trying to consider the idea from that perspective. "It's a strange thought, having someone take care of me that way. Someone who isn't - well." He chuckled. "Isn't Noah. I don't even know what that would be like."
"Take a chance and find out," Tess suggested. "It would possibly provide some of us, Noah and Kurt included, with some peace of mind knowing that you're being looked after. And really, darling, she's highly trained, with excellent skills - you'll hardly know that you're being taken care of, but life will suddenly become easier."
In the middle of the noisy, dirty airport, surrounded by people focused on their own concerns, having someone like that in his life sounded pretty damn good. "All right," he heard himself say. "I'll consider it."
"Excellent. Anything else, sweetheart - aside from trying not to fret about the tour, that is?"
"I'm not worried about that. When I'm performing, when I'm talking to reporters, it's all amazing. It's the crash at the end of the day that gets me." He yawned mightily, listening to the announcement over the PA. "I think that might be for us. Thank you for the distraction, Tess. I'll schedule my visit to Lima, and I'll look forward to seeing you in a month."
"Of course, I'm looking forward to that too. You're quite welcome, and I'll expect a note from you soon."
Adam reached over and shook Tommy awake, helping him unfold from his knot. He felt surprisingly refreshed after his conversation with Tess. Jacob hefted his bag onto his shoulder and did a quick sweep of the hallway before giving Adam the okay, beckoning for Timothy to follow.
"You still have time to call Kurt before we get on the plane," he told Adam.
"It's okay," he said. "I think I might write him a letter instead."
Tatenui and Carole went on a date Friday night, leaving Sarah alone with her three brothers. The house seemed very quiet. Sarah made sure to knock very loudly on Kurt's door, and to wait until she heard the scuffling stop, before trying the doorknob.
"Can I come in?" she called, waiting with her hand on the knob.
"Just a sec," Kurt called. "Finn, put the — yeah. No, in the other drawer." The door opened on his disheveled, flushed face, but they all appeared to all be dressed and not too upset to be interrupted. "Come on in."
She climbed onto the bed when Puck made room for her in the middle. Kurt sat next to Finn on the other side. It was only a little weird to be sitting so close to Finn, but she decided she could handle it.
"So you've got Regionals tomorrow," she said.
Finn nodded. "We're trying to pretend it doesn't matter we won't win."
"Does it matter?"
"No," said Puck, at the same time that Kurt said, "Yes."
Finn smiled, shrugging. "I think it sucks, personally, but it's not the most important thing."
"What's the most important thing?"
"Staying together next year, all of us," he said. "Glee club without the club. I think we can do it, but it'll take some work. We're all going to take a little shit for it."
"So what?" Puck leaned back against the wall, his hands behind his head. "I took shit when I came out. I mean, when Kurt outed me." He snorted at Kurt's poke in his ribs. "Am I complaining?"
"You're here now, right?" she asked Finn. "At the house, I mean? Until we build?" When he nodded, she turned to Puck. "You, too?"
"I cleaned out Carl's apartment. I sure as hell better be here." He looked more closely at Sarah. "Why are you asking?"
"I have something to tell you." She held her ground as all three of them swiveled their eyes onto her. "I figured I better tell you all at once. I haven't told Tatenui or Carole yet."
"Bad or good?" Puck demanded.
"I don't know yet. Probably some of both."
Kurt touched her hand. "We're listening."
She could kind of feel their listening, as though it were something tangible. It was comforting enough that she was able to look Kurt in the eye when she said, "I'm gonna skip seventh grade."
"Whoa," Finn said, both eyebrows going way up on his forehead. He looked over at Puck, who was staring at her. "You can do that?"
"My principal said I could. I didn't really want to." She shrugged, accepting Kurt's hug. "I still don't."
"But you're doing it anyway," said Kurt, smiling. "That takes a lot of courage. I'm really proud of you."
Puck still hadn't said anything. She looked up at him with her best ferocious glare.
"You think I'm an idiot?"
He blinked, then shook his head. "An idiot? You're the opposite of an idiot, squirt."
She tucked herself in closer to him, huddling into the familiar warmth of his arm. "I mean for doing this on purpose."
"Makes sense to me. You do less school this way, right? That's better."
Finn still looked mystified. "How'd you manage to get them to let you do that?"
"She got perfect scores on everything," said Kurt. "And she did all her homework, and had intelligent conversations with her teachers. Basically, she showed them she was too good for seventh grade."
She grinned at Finn. "Honestly, I think Principal Hartford heard about what I was doing with the house plans and got scared. This way, at least, they'll keep me busy enough to stay out of trouble." She enclosed the last phrase in air quotes, which made Puck grin too.
"Fat chance."
"Hey," she protested. "I don't get in trouble."
"Someday you will," he said. "And it'll be big, way bigger than anything I've done."
Finn looked uneasy. "You shouldn't say things like that. Tempting fate and everything."
"That doesn't really happen," said Kurt firmly. He took Sarah's hand. "When we're seniors, you'll be in ninth grade. We'll all get to be at the high school together!"
That made Finn smile. "You know, I don't think most people like their families this much?"
"That's because we chose ours," said Puck. "Me and Sarah started as family, yeah, but we kind of chose that, too. Chose to stick together when everything sucked."
"You think we can do that?" Kurt looked over at Finn. "Make a commitment to stay together, even when everything sucks? For no better reason than because we love each other?"
"I'm not sure what other reason there would be," said Finn. "But it seems like a good one to me."
Kurt looked at each of them in turn. "We had a lot of reasons not to be together this year. I'm not saying any of them were bad ideas. We're eliminating some of them, building the house and giving Noah what he needs, but others will come up."
"We said a year, baby," said Finn. "At New Year's."
Kurt shook his head insistently. "I know. I'm not pushing for — anything. I'm just saying… this, what we have right now, it's worth something. It's worth hanging on to." He reached out and took Sarah's hands. "Sarah, you're my sister. I love you."
"Dude," she muttered, squirming a little, but she couldn't help smile.
"It's not a bad thing," he said. "I'm saying it. It's important. We need to hang onto that."
"Okay, okay." She made herself make eye contact with him again. "Yeah. I love you, too." Puck made a little noise, and she dug into his ribs with her knuckles. "And you."
"You have to say it," Kurt said.
She rolled her eyes a little, but she turned to face Puck and grabbed his hands. He looked like he might be ready to cry, so she decided she could be brave, for him. "I love you, dork."
"Fuck, yeah," he muttered, and grabbed her in a hug. She could feel the stubble on his face as he brushed a kiss onto her cheek.
"Now you do it," she told him. He looked up at Finn, who was already grinning stupidly.
"Yeah, he loves this stuff." Puck rolled his eyes. "You want me to tell you how wuvvy-dovey I get about you, Finny-pooh?"
"Noah," Kurt said severely, while Puck snickered. "I was being serious."
"Sorry," he said, obviously not at all sorry. Finn cleared his throat.
"Sarah, you might not want to be around for this part."
"You think you're gonna shock me or something?" She gestured magnanimously at Finn. "Do your worst. Whatever it is, he totally deserves it."
"There's no worst when it comes to your brother," he said. In a very quiet, very focused voice, he said, "Noah."
She watched Puck pause, almost freeze, for just a moment before laughing uneasily. "Yeah, right. There's no way you're gonna —"
"Right here." Finn pointed at the rug beside Kurt's bed. He didn't snap his fingers or even raise his voice, but the way Puck was practically hyperventilating, he might as well have screamed at him. Puck shot an appeal at Kurt, who frowned his disapproval.
"You know there'll already be consequences for this," said Kurt. "This is Finn. You're going to obey him."
"Oh my god," Puck whined. His face was scarlet. "In front of Sarah?"
Sarah felt like laughing, because the way her brother was for Finn and Kurt was exactly who he should be, in front of everybody, instead of the asshole he pretended to be with most of the world. But she didn't want to distract him with commentary.
Kurt crossed his arms and stood firm. "She's going to see it eventually, if she's living with us. Don't make him ask again."
Finn didn't look upset. He waited patiently with his long legs hanging off the edge of the bed, smiling reassuringly at Sarah. She smiled back.
As soon as Puck sank to his knees, he moved to sit in front of him.
"Now…" He put some steel into his voice. "Look at me."
She thought maybe Puck wouldn't, at first, but eventually, with an effort, he wrested his eyes from the floor and gazed up at Finn. He wasn't grinning anymore. He looked a little desperate.
"Are you ready to say it now?" Finn asked. The gentle kindness in Finn's voice elicited a little gasping noise from Puck. He shook his head.
"You want me to go first?" asked Kurt, but Finn held up a hand, and Kurt fell silent.
"I know how you feel about Kurt, Noah." Finn was using a measured tone that made Sarah feel calm and relaxed, like she might have to take a nap. "You have from the very beginning. Before you even made a move toward him, I could tell there was something there. When he's taking care of you, he's your whole world."
Puck nodded this time, settling onto his knees. Sarah watched him curiously, but she didn't say anything.
"And Adam," he went on. "When you hear him, when he talks to you… all you want to do is obey."
Another nod, this one slower and more calm. Puck took a deep breath and let it out.
"That's right. And you know why?"
"Why?" Puck asked softly.
"Because," said Finn, looking at Sarah, "you're such a good boy."
Sarah watched him wrestle with this for a few long moments. She wanted to kick him and say just say thank you, you dork face, but she held back. This was obviously Finn's show.
When he bent down and took Puck's chin in his hand, raising Puck's face up to his, Puck's fidgeting stopped, and he just knelt there, waiting and staring into Finn's eyes.
"Who are you?" he asked. Sarah heard Kurt catch his breath.
"I'm - I'm Noah," he whispered.
"And who do you belong to?"
"You," he said immediately. "And Kurt. And Adam."
Finn looked so calm. "Are you ready to tell me now?"
He still looked embarrassed, but he didn't hesitate. "I love you. And Kurt, and Adam."
"You'll have to tell Adam that yourself," Finn said, smiling. He leaned over and cupped Puck's face in both hands. "And I love you, too."
Sarah watched Puck's last vestiges of resistance crumble away, and he sat there whimpering for a long minute while Finn kissed him. It wasn't sexy kissing, but instead covered his face and cheeks and forehead and any other parts of his face that were available, slowly and methodically. Sarah giggled while Puck bore each touch of Finn's lips to his skin.
"Kurt," he said between kisses, "get down here."
Kurt knelt beside Puck on the floor and set to work, adding his own kisses to Finn's effort to cover all the empty space on Puck's face. He quailed under their assault. When Finn sat back, he looked like he might be in a trance, his eyes half-closed.
"Look at Kurt," Finn said. Sarah could tell Puck heard it like a command now. His eyes opened immediately and he looked right at Kurt, who was smiling. "Now you can tell him."
It wasn't sickly sweet like a romantic movie. Puck's expression was awed. "I love you."
"And Adam," Kurt said, with a little laugh. "And we love you, sweetheart." He looked up at Finn with obvious fondness. "You'll have to tell Carl."
"Like, pass it on?" Finn smiled down on both of them, and rested his hand on Puck's head. He closed his eyes again with a sigh. "I can do that."
"To everybody," Kurt urged. "Everybody in Glee. We'll split it up."
"All the gay guys, telling everybody in Glee they love them?" Finn raised his eyebrows. "You don't think that'll be weird?"
"No," Kurt said firmly. He leaned in against Puck, hugging him. "It won't. We do love them. That's kind of the point. You can tell all the girls if you think it's going to be too weird. And — our parents. They're part of this, too. And your brother, Sarah."
"What, you mean the one I never talk to?" She nodded anyway. "Sure, yeah. I do love him. Even my asshole dad."
"I'll —" said Puck, swallowing on a hoarse throat. "I'll tell Burt. And, um. Lady Tess."
"Who else? Frances?" Kurt nodded at Finn. "Patrick?"
Finn made a face. "Yeah, I don't think he'd care much for that. But — maybe," he added hurriedly, at Kurt's glare. "Jeez."
"All right. I feel better." He reached up to Sarah and she helped him off the floor. "If our family's going to be this big, we might as well make sure they know it. Duncan and Cory. Brad and Laurie and Andi."
"Shelby," Puck added. He touched Finn's leg. "And Rachel."
"And your daughter," Kurt said. "Beth. You can tell her tonight in your dreams."
When they ran out of people to say I love you to, Sarah went back to her own amber-colored den. She could hear the three of them jostling for room in the bathroom. It was kind of a pain, having all four of them sharing one bathroom, but knowing pretty soon they'd have five bathrooms made it a lot easier to take. The sounds of their conversation settled down into murmurs, and eventually quieted.
She came out around one o'clock to find Puck sitting on the green couch, strumming his guitar. He looked over his shoulder at her.
"Did I wake you up?"
"Nah," she said. She took a seat on the couch next to him, giving him enough room to maneuver his guitar. "I couldn't even hear you playing."
"You just knew I'd be out here?"
"Something like that." She rested her chin on her knee, waiting. He sighed, his eyes roving over the big square coffee table. "You're gonna tell me about it, right?"
"I ain't gonna lie," he said ruefully. "It's fucking crazy to be doing that in front of you."
"You're fucking crazy if you think it's a bad thing," she shot back. "Don't tell me you don't feel better when you do what they say. I know it's what you want."
"Yeah," he said, after a minute.
"So?" She leaned forward. "What's it like?"
The only sounds in the room were the ticking of the clock on the wall and the quiet music of Puck's guitar.
"It's like all my life, people have been telling me I'm not good enough," he said. "Like, that's just the way it was going to be for everybody. Except for Finn. He was the one everybody knew was good. And I knew he was, and — and he thought I was, too. Which was so fucked up, because obviously I wasn't." He smiled when Sarah snorted. "And then we went to Santa Fe, and I met Nicole and Daphne and Alex."
"I remember Daphne," said Sarah. "She was the one with the really light blonde hair, right? You didn't bring the other ones to the condo, though."
"Yeah, Ma would have loved that, me bringing home Nicole. She was the one who inspired the mohawk on my sixteenth birthday. And Alex." He laughed to himself, shaking his head. "Six-foot-five, curly red hair all down his back, and a deeper voice than Philip."
She shivered. "Sounds kind of terrifying."
"He wasn't though. He was… kind. He showed me what it could be like, to be — to have somebody in charge of me. To have somebody to call sir, and to mean it. To belong to someone." Puck thought for another long moment, modulating his picking pattern. "But it's not just that anymore."
"I get it," she said. "I mean, I can see it, how you are with them, but it was really hard on you before you started giving back."
"Yeah." He grinned at her. "You're pretty smart, squirt."
"I just notice things about you," she said, waving at him. "Advanced degree in Noah-watching."
Puck began to sing a quiet ballad. The song was kind of familiar. Sarah thought she might have heard it on the radio.
Highway run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire
"It's Adam," she said, realizing, and he nodded, still playing.
"When I told him we were doing a Journey medley for Regionals, he asked…" He shrugged. "Really, he told me. This was the song we should sing, from him to me and Kurt. But it's kind of about me and Finn, too. And I asked Rachel if she would ask Finn to sing it as a duet, 'cause… well, there was no way they'd let me sing it with Finn, right? She doesn't know why I asked, but… yeah."
They say that the road ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh, boy, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
The words were a little sad, Sarah thought, but Puck's face looked peaceful, even as he was singing about being away from Adam. When the chorus ended, she spoke up.
"I know how much you miss him all the time. But I think it's better when Kurt and Finn are doing that for you."
He nodded. "There's all kinds of songs about being a slave to love. But the difference is, I have a choice. This is something I get to choose. Because I need it, because it's so good, but it would never work if they didn't want to give it to me. And they do."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Well, duh."
Puck smiled and played the second verse.
Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us smile
Through space and time, always another show
Wondering where I am, lost without you
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, boy, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
He paused, cradling the guitar in his lap. "It does suck, being away from him, but I think it sucks worse for him, because he's alone. Other than Jacob, nobody in his band really gets it, what he's doing with me. With us."
"That's why all the talking, though. And he can come visit, like he did last week."
"I don't know if that's what he wants, though. I'm pretty sure what he really wants is to be part of this thing we're doing here. But he's on the road, and…" Puck ran his fingers along the strings meditatively. "It means he doesn't get to have what he needs. Not right now, anyway."
"He gets to decide, though, right?" she said. "If it's enough. And so far, it is."
He shrugged. "I guess. But there's more. That song, it's not just about Adam. I don't know if Kurt and Finn really get this, but it's about the boy in my dreams, too. He's there with me, almost every night, taking care of my kid — of Beth." He shook his head, smiling. "In tonight's dream, he was cutting up her hot dogs into little half-pieces, so she wouldn't choke on them. I mean, what kind of stupid fucking thing is that to dream about? And he was singing her that song from The Wizard of Oz, but the ukulele version. I don't even know if he can sing."
"Yeah, you do," she said. "You said he sang at the bar, when you were dancing. Take a chance on me."
"Not real singing," Puck said, then paused, nodding. "Okay, yeah. He did have a nice voice. So maybe I'm not making it all up."
"I bet you're gonna keep dreaming about him until you see him again."
"Whenever that happens. Probably never." He sighed, resting his cheek on the side of his guitar. "You really don't think I'm crazy for wanting… this?"
She gave him a look. "How many thousands of times happier are you than you were before Alex taught you about this stuff?"
"Lots," he admitted.
"And how many people are telling you you can have it?"
He smiled reluctantly. "Three. I guess that's kind of a lot."
"That's three more than most people have," she agreed. "And you totally get to have it, because you're awesome."
"Not as awesome as you," came Kurt's quiet voice. They both jumped and looked up to see Kurt standing in the bedroom doorway in his striped pajamas, smiling at them. "Come back to bed, Noah."
"Yes… sir." He barely hesitated before adding the title. Sarah hid her grin at the way Kurt's eyes flashed when he said it. He placed the guitar on the couch and hopped up, going to stand beside Kurt, reaching for his hand. Kurt took it and kissed his cheek.
"Good night, Sarah," he said to her.
"G'night," she said.
Sleep didn't come any easier after that, but it was Friday night, and she didn't have to sing the next day, so Sarah figured it didn't matter so much. She picked up the phone and called the only person she could imagine calling at three in the morning.
He picked up on the fourth ring, sounding a little confused, but awake. "Sarah?"
"Hey, Meemee," she said.
There was a silent pause. Meemee cleared his throat. "What's the matter?"
"Actually, nothing," she said. "Which is pretty fucking amazing. No, I just I called to tell you I love you."
"Oh." Another pause. "That's it?"
"That's it. And now you have to say it to Jacob. And tell him you're sorry."
Now he was really confused. "For what?"
"For running away."
"Sarah," he protested, aghast. "We're in the middle of the airport."
"I'm serious!" She looked at the back elevation sketch of the house, the one that Mr. Preston had helped her draw from the plans. She could see Meemee's room from there. It was mostly going to be a guest room, but it would be his, too. "Is he there? Tell him now."
"Sar…" Meemee lowered his voice. "I'm… not doing that anymore."
"Well, that's good, but you have to apologize for all the times you did it before. And tell him you love him. Faithfully."
She heard Jacob say, curiously, "Who's that?"
"I'll wait while you tell him," she said.
"Faithfully?" he said, clearly doubtful. Then, to Jacob: "Um — it's Sarah, giving me some very specific instructions. Apparently I have to tell you… I love you, and I'm sorry for running away all those times."
She grinned when she heard Jacob laugh and say, "Give me that." Then, into the phone: "What's this all about?"
"I don't even know, but Kurt started it. We're passing it on. And you're part of Meemee's family, so you're getting it too."
"Well, that's really nice to hear." He sounded pleased. "For a minute there, I was worried that somebody was dying or in trouble. Should I tell Timothy I love him, too?"
"Definitely," she said, nodding. "And you can tell Adam he'll get his I-love-you calls tomorrow, but Kurt made Noah go to bed."
"So should you," said Jacob. "But I'll tell him. Hang on." There was a pause, during which Sarah guessed there was kissing or something, and then Meemee was back on the phone.
"I love you, Sar," he said, and he only sounded a little reluctant. She giggled, and yawned.
"I'm sorry you're in the airport at midnight."
"I'm sorry you're grilling me about my boyfriend at three in the morning. Good night."
She turned off the light and set the phone on the nightstand, curled around one of the dozen fringed throw pillows Kurt had selected for her bedroom. Her other hand touched the edge of the elevation sketch of her house. It would be everyone's house, of course, but it was enough a part of her that she could kind of feel like it was her I love you to everyone in her family.
For everyone, she thought drowsily. A place for everyone to come back to, no matter how far away they go.
"Toby," Shelby called into the boys' dressing room from the hallway. He sighed, holding up the latest costume crisis.
"I'm a little busy," he called back. "Wade, darlin', get me the red thread. No, the crimson. And that packet of needles."
Shelby stuck her head in, oblivious to the boys' protestations. "They're starting in five minutes. Come on, guys. We need to go with what we have."
He bit off the thread and jammed it through the needle. "Jesse's not going to walk out there with a hole under his armpit."
Jesse hovered by his arm while Toby sewed up the hole, then quickly buttoned up his shirt, brushing past Shelby into the hallway to join the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. She watched him go, stifling a sigh.
"He's not talking to me," she said.
"He will." Toby set the thread and needle on the table. "Time, you know. He ain't gonna miss you much the first couple months of college, but eventually he's gonna realize how much he needs his mom."
"His mom's going to be a little busy, starting this summer." Shelby turned to Toby, her face resolute. "I'm having a baby. Well, adopting one. Kind of."
"Congratulations," he said. He reached out his hand and shook hers. "I make a pretty good Uncle Toby, if you need a babysitter."
She nodded, looking bemused. "You don't seem all that surprised. I can't imagine how that could be, considering I haven't told anybody yet."
"I got it from the source. Or, rather, the source's boyfriend. You can bet I was aware of it all along." He beckoned toward the door. "Shall we go wish our competition good luck?"
They found New Directions exiting their own dressing room. Will looked back and forth between Shelby and Toby with a wary expression.
"Can I help you two?"
"Comin' to offer my thanks, for a good season," said Toby. Kurt paused beside Toby, and accepted his offered handshake with a solemn nod. "You've been worthy opponents. Now all tricks aside, may the best choir win."
Each of the New Directions students was willing to shake Toby's hand, and once they did, shaking Shelby's hand came easily. When Toby got to Will, he kept it brief and perfunctory. "Good luck."
"To you as well," said Will. "Come on, guys, you need to finish getting your costumes on and move into the green room. Aural Intensity's on first."
He let everyone exit the room and round the corner before pulling Toby back into the room with him. This time he kissed him, hard, running his hands over Toby's tuxedo.
"You look amazing," he breathed. Toby reached up and straightened Will's tie, kissing him again.
"It's gonna be a hell of an afternoon," he said. "Don't let anybody tell you you ain't got a great group here, Will."
"I wouldn't believe it if they did. Even without Jesse, even off the cuff, they all sound fantastic. I couldn't be prouder." Will pushed the door open, his eyes glistening, and gestured for Toby to precede him. "And tomorrow, it'll all be over."
"I hope not, for the kids' sake. And yours." Toby shook his head. "Jesus, Will, you're gonna cry all over your fucking suit."
"Almost definitely," Will said, his voice only a little shaky.
He paused in the doorway, his eye caught by something unexpected. Will chuckled as Toby leaned in and brushed a finger over the ring pierced through his tragus.
"Bold," said Toby. His own voice caught. "You never wear this anymore."
Will nodded soberly. "My kids, they've taken all the risks this year. I figured I should follow their lead."
He stepped into Toby's space, far closer than he'd ever been to Toby in public in Ohio. Toby had a bare second to let out a startled, "Will —" before he was being kissed.
The woman who passed them in the hallway snickered. "Let's go, gentlemen," she said dryly.
Toby let Will end the kiss, feeling a little shellshocked. Will hovered close to his lips, his eyes half-lidded and his breathing uneven.
"Will," said Toby, "you do know that was Olivia Newton-John?"
"Was it?" Will murmured. "I wasn't paying attention."
He cleared his throat once, then again. "I think maybe we should… go be teachers now."
Will laughed, stepping back. "Yeah. That's a good plan." He stroked Toby's vest. "But I'm not finished with you."
"Please don't tell me that offer's not contingent on your group winning."
Will was already halfway down the hallway toward the auditorium. He gave Toby a little wave over his shoulder. "You'll have to wait until tonight to find out."
Wade was the one who met Toby at the door to the green room. She looked adorable in her red shirt and suspenders, but Toby figured she didn't need to hear that, considering she'd resisted dancing as one of the boys from the beginning.
"The haircut is super chic," he said, touching the buzzed edges with his fingers. She smiled.
"Easier to fit a wig over it, I suppose."
"You know, next year, we're gonna need a new lead singer, with Jesse moving on. Somethin' tells me you might be in the running for that."
Her eyes flew open. "Me?"
"I've heard you sing. You've got a damn fine range. I'd like to hear what you can do in your upper register."
"You want me to sing with the girls?" She sounded awed.
"Why not?" he said. "Nobody can say where you belong but you. But I'll warn you, I might make you re-audition for VA if you wanna dance with the other girls."
"Unique," she whispered. "That's her name. Unique."
"Your name," Toby corrected. He hugged her. "You're gonna do fine."
It was clear that Aural Intensity wouldn't offer much of a challenge to them, even with their mash-up of Olivia Newton John and Josh Groban songs. But Toby felt the way the room went quiet when New Directions led with "Faithfully."
Jesse stared at Finn on the monitor, stone-faced.
"Amateur," he sniffed, when Finn went for the high D, singing: oh, girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours, faithfully.
"They sound really good," Chandra said soberly.
"They've been practicing their choreography, such as it is, for less than a week," Jesse said. "A week ago they were still trying to make Gaga work. These kids are nothing. Just go out there and do exactly what we've practiced all semester."
"You mean what we've practiced," said Giselle. She sounded pissed. "You've been fucking around at that stupid public school."
Shelby held out a firm hand. "Nobody's going to blame Jesse for that. Sending him there was my mistake. But you won't be paying for it. This group is tight. You've been working your butts off, and it shows. Don't blow your advantage by whining about what you can't change."
"Any Way You Want It" was next. Toby watched it with a critical eye. None of it was brilliant, but he saw flashes of excellence. He wondered who'd written the bulk of the choreography; it sure as hell hadn't been Will. Jake Puckerman would have torn it to shreds, and then rewritten it on the spot it to take advantage of Mike Chang's height and Brittany's athleticism — but never mind.
When Puck came forward and sang, Toby watched Shelby out of the corner of his eye, but she seemed entirely focused on Rachel putting her hands all over Finn:
I was alone, I never knew
What good love could do
Then we touched, then we sang
About the lovely things
Cause he's loving, touching, squeezing another
When they broke into the opening bars of "Don't Stop Believing," Toby couldn't help smiling. He'd heard Will talk about the magic of that piece enough times. They'd had it taken away from them at Sectionals, when Toby himself had secretly flown out to watch New Directions compete. It seemed only fitting that they'd reclaim it today.
"This might be their last performance," Toby said to Shelby.
She looked at him, obviously confused. "Why?"
"Their principal said they wouldn't be allowed to continue as a club unless they won."
Her brow furrowed into a sour line. "That's ridiculous."
He shrugged. "That principal of theirs, he ain't exactly the most rational man."
"Well, I think he likes me." She gazed at the screen as Puck and Santana shared a verse. "We'll see what he says when I give him a call on Monday."
Chandra tugged on her dress unhappily, looking at Toby. "Mr. Grey, are we going to lose?"
He made a pooh-poohing motion with his hand. "You can't predict the whims of show choir judges, especially ones as capricious as these. All you can do is go out there and give it all you got. And —" He smiled into her eyes. "Girl, you got a lot to give."
They accompanied their students into the wings, watching the New Directions exit the stage on a wave of jubilation. Shelby restrained their students from engaging with them.
"Focus," she cautioned under her breath. "This isn't about how well they did. It's about the kind of professionals you are."
That comment, and Jesse's unwavering anger, launched them into their Queen medley. "Bohemian Rhapsody" was first, mostly because Toby hadn't been at all sure that Hayden and Alice could handle two intense dance numbers in a row. He didn't need to worry about Jesse blowing his pipes, at least. "We Are the Champions" gave Chandra and Jesse a chance to dance in the spotlight while the rest of them carried the vocals.
While the bass line for "Another One Bites the Dust" thumped out over the sound system, Toby could hear the sound of sirens approaching the back of the building. He stepped out from the wings into the hallway, watching paramedics rushing through with a wheelchair.
"What's goin' on?" he asked, trying to stifle his own fears. "Is everybody okay?"
"Girl's going into labor," grunted the EMT.
"Oh, my." Toby held open the second set of fire doors for them as they pushed down the hall. Then he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to both Will and Brad: I heard about Quinn. Let me know how she's doing. That would have to be enough until they could call him. He stayed out of the way while Finn and Kurt and Mercedes and most of the rest of their group followed Quinn and the EMTs back down the hall in her wheelchair to the ambulance.
It was a tense afternoon, waiting for the judges to make their decision. Everybody was a little snappish and rude with one another, and the boxed lunches they brought in for the kids were dry and unsatisfying. Toby walked down to the New Directions' green room and found their lunches, sitting in the hallway on a cart, uneaten.
He received a response text from Brad about ten minutes before they were scheduled to go on for the awards ceremony. Baby's born! That was one quick labor for a first baby. Quinn was a champ. No name yet, 6 lbs 4 oz.
Toby shuffled the kids back into the wings just as Will and a slightly stunned group arrived through the same back stage door. This time, he intercepted Kurt, holding tightly to Puck's hand.
"Congratulations," he said softly. Kurt looked back at Puck, who appeared remarkably calm, considering the circumstances. "How's Quinn doing?"
"She didn't even tell anybody she was having labor pains all morning, through rehearsal and the performance and everything," Puck said. "By the time she got to the hospital, she was eight centimeters."
"Wow." Toby smiled. "I'm surprised you're even here."
"Her mom's at the hospital with her and the baby. We'll all head back as soon as this is over." Kurt gave Puck a little push to stand over beside Finn, who put a hand on his back, keeping him close. Kurt dropped his voice to a whisper. "I'm sorry we missed your performance. Rachel stayed, but the rest of us…"
"No, no, it's fine. I'm really glad you were able to be there for Quinn. That was more important."
Shelby broke through the crowd, searching their faces, and rushed over to stand before Puck.
"Is she…?" she said, then stopped. Puck broke into a completely unselfconscious smile.
"She's here," he said. "She's really here."
She didn't throw her arms around him, but she smiled back, and then they both laughed. When Toby touched her arm, she withdrew, still smiling.
He waited until the students had all made their way on stage. "Show choir just don't compare to findin' out about your kid bein' born," he said. "Does it?"
"She's not my kid," she said. Her eyes were far away.
"Sure she isn't." He gave her a little nudge. "For now, why don't you go stand by your first kid. He still cares about this, at least."
"I care," she protested. She took a few steps in the direction of the stage, then turned back to Toby and held out her hand. He raised an eyebrow at it, and she laughed quietly.
"Shelby Corcoran," he drawled. "Are you bein' nice?"
"I'll take that as a slap in the face, Toby Grey." She brandished her hand more insistently. "Being honest isn't being nice. We've done a good job this year, you and me. Come on. Let's accept this victory together."
"You're so sure we won?"
"I've been in the theater as long as you have," she said. "What do your instincts tell you?"
He took her hand, and they walked out on stage together.
Note: this part of the chapter coincides with chapter 8 of There's An Awful Lot of Breathing Room, in which Carl and Irene are at the coffeehouse and Carl gets a call from Finn.
Finn dug his phone out of his pocket with trembling hands. It didn't matter at all how weird things had been with Carl since he told him about knowing about Rachel. All he could think about was, at that moment, how much he needed him. He moved into the waiting room where the cell reception was better, and called him.
"Yes, Finn?" he heard. As soon as the words landed, he felt calmer.
"Carl," he said, realizing a little too late that he was surrounded by people and he wasn't speaking very quietly. Luckily, no one seemed to be listening. "I'm at the hospital. Just as we finished our performance at Regionals, Quinn went into labor."
"What?"
"Yeah!" He felt his grin stretch wide, big enough to encompass his whole face. He probably looked completely stupid, and he didn't care at all. "It went really fast, I guess, and — it's all done. She had the baby. Puck's a — he's a papa."
"Is she okay? How's the baby?" Carl sounded so anxious, Finn was crying before he realized it. He stifled a sob. "Is Puck — all right, Finn, just breathe, all right? I'm right here."
"I'm fine, I'm fine," he hastened to say, rubbing his eyes. "It's… it's been a long day. We lost, by the way. Which doesn't matter at all. I'm just saying." He smiled again. "She's really cute. The baby. Beth. I didn't know newborn babies could be cute."
"Which hospital is she at? Do you want me to come over there?"
Finn almost said no, no, you don't have to do that. But then he realized Carl himself was in Columbus, too, and he wasn't actually very far away at all. "We're at Riverside Methodist. And - yeah. Please. I mean, everything's okay, Quinn's a little shaken up, she wasn't ready this early, but -"
"Okay. I'll be there as quickly as I can. Just hang on. It's going to be fine. She's young and healthy." There was a little pause, and Finn heard his voice catch. "Congratulations... and tell Puck and Kurt the same."
"Thank you," Finn whispered. He felt like crying again. "We're on the third floor, room 3018. And thanks, again."
He closed the phone and held it in his hand, staring at it for a long time. He wasn't sure how long, but he figured it had probably been a while when he heard his mom say, "Finn?" and touch him on the arm. Sarah was beside her.
His mom's smile was as bright and joyous and stunned as he knew his own had to be. He reached out and hugged her tight, and she hugged him back.
"She's fine," he murmured. "She's - perfect."
"I'm so relieved," she said, her voice thick with tears. Sarah waited until his mom let him go, dancing in place.
"Where is she?" Sarah demanded.
"I'll take you upstairs," he said. "Check it out; you're an auntie."
"Tante," said Sarah, tossing her hair. "Come on."
They took the elevator up to the sixth floor, standing close to one another, and paused at the bathroom for each of them to wash their hands. While Sarah took her turn, his mom stood back, regarding him.
"I'm so proud of you," she said.
"Me?" He laughed. "What did I do?"
"Oh, Finn." She shook her head. "Your boyfriend's a father." Her voice dropped to almost nothing. "He's your boy. He's your responsibility. And this -" She gestured at the hallway beyond them. "This accomplishment, it's yours, too."
He ducked his head, feeling embarrassed. "I… I guess? Maybe a little."
She smiled wistfully. "I think I know how Irene must have felt, after you were born."
He blinked. "Irene?"
"My — the woman I was with," his mom clarified. "I just think you might..." She trailed off, watching his face, her own smile dropping away. "Finn, what is it? What's wrong?"
"Nothing." It came out like a croak, and he paused to clear his throat. "She - Irene." Even the name tasted different, looking at his mother. "I don't know. It's probably a coincidence. I mean, it's a big community."
She looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Never mind." He waved it away, beckoning to Sarah as she came out of the bathroom. "Come on, you should come see the baby."
Quinn was resting on her bed, her eyes closed, but she opened them when she heard their soft footsteps. She gave them all tired smiles.
"Mrs. Hudson, you didn't have to come all this way to Columbus," she said. "They're transferring me and Beth to St. Rita's tonight. We'll both be able to go home on Sunday."
"Don't be silly, honey." His mom came right over to her and hugged her, and Quinn hugged her back, obviously startled but not displeased. "Beth's going to be living with me - with us. I know it's complicated, but you're part of this family now. Of course I'm here."
Quinn's smile relaxed. "Thank you. I finally managed to convince Kurt to take Puck downstairs to the cafeteria. He hadn't left the room since they brought Beth back after her bath."
Finn edged over to the warming tray where Sarah was already standing. Beth was resting there, wrapped loosely in a blanket. She wasn't exactly sleeping, but her eyes were mostly closed, and she was making little motions with her mouth. He found himself staring, unable to look away.
"Would you like to hold her?" said Quinn.
He took a quick step away. "Me? No, I don't — that's okay, I'm all right."
"Come on, honey." His mom came over to stand beside the warming tray, watching him expectantly. "I'll coach you through it. Put one hand under her head and the other under her butt, and scoop her up against your chest."
He gulped, blinking at the way her head fit in his hand. It was smaller than a softball. "Like this?"
Quinn watched while his mom helped him gather her closer. At first, he held her out, looking at her tiny fingers, the wrinkles in her skin, but his mom tucked her into the crook of his arm. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"Hi," he said softly. He touched her cheek, and she turned her head toward his finger, mouthing his skin with her tiny lips. "Hi, Thumper. You're so little."
"Didn't feel that way coming out," Quinn said wryly. His mom laughed.
"I remember that. Finn was almost half again as big."
Finn heard the words, but he couldn't think about anything but the bundle he held in his arms. The person. He looked up at his mom. "She looks like Puck."
"Yeah?" She smiled at him. "Babies do that. Look like their daddies, I mean."
"Papa," Finn said immediately. "He's her papa."
"She looks like my Ma," Sarah said. It was obvious how she felt about that.
Finn reached out with one arm and pulled her close against him, close enough that she was within inches of Beth's face. She made a startled noise.
"Your Ma was pretty." His mom came over to stand next to the warming tray, nodding at them both. "So that's not so bad. And she looks like you, too. Which isn't bad at all."
"Can I hold her?" Sarah begged. "I won't drop her, I promise."
"Finn," said Kurt. He looked up at him, standing in the doorway, with Puck beside him. The way Puck was looking at him, holding Beth, made him feel incredibly sappy.
"I got her," he said. He tucked her closer against him, even though she weighed hardly anything. Puck made a little noise, something like a laugh, and stepped forward, grinning at them.
"Carl's in the hallway." Kurt was clearly trying to sound casual about this, which brought Finn back into himself a little bit. He gave in to Sarah's clutching hands, waiting until she was holding Beth securely before moving toward the door.
"I'm going to get something to eat," he said. "I'll be back."
Carl was leaning against the wall, being calm, but when Finn appeared, he stood up straight, his eyes riveted to Finn's face, searching for answers. Finn laughed, feeling his face flush.
"I'm fine. Everything's fine."
"I know," Carl said. "I can tell. How's your boy doing?"
"He's kind of… I don't know. Out of it?" He fell into step beside Carl, conscious of the nurses and orderlies and other Glee members passing them in the hallway. He wasn't sure how he could explain Carl's presence if he were asked.
"His focus will be off you for a while. That's all right. You don't need to try to draw it back to you. He deserves this time to be with his daughter."
Finn paused in front of the elevator and pushed the down button. "Yeah, I think it's fine. I'm not trying to get in their way."
"I didn't think you were."
He watched Carl's restless eyes, the way he was scanning the hallway. "Rachel went home already."
Carl looked up, frowning. "I wouldn't approach her. Especially not in a place like this. I was looking for Shelby."
"Sure." Finn gave him a grin. Carl actually rolled his eyes, which made him laugh.
The moment the elevator doors closed behind them, Carl reached out and landed a firm smack on his behind. Then he grabbed him and kissed him, just as soundly. Finn didn't object to either.
"Do you feel different?" Carl asked.
"Different how?" Finn shrugged. "It's not my baby."
"Maybe not yet." Carl stepped back a few feet as the elevator doors slid open and three women in scrubs entered. "But you'll be living with her, taking care of her. Falling in love with her. Someday, she might feel more like she is."
"Maybe," he said softly. He felt a familiar prickle in his chest, beneath the spot where his tattoo resided. "I think, no matter whose kid she is, this family just grew by one person."
Shelby found Puck and Quinn standing in front of the viewing window of the maternity ward, speaking quietly to one another. Seeing Quinn there in her pink robe, looking far more beautiful than anyone had a right to look hours after giving birth, brought up all kinds of memories of her year with Davis after Jesse was born. She decided it wasn't the right time to say I'm really glad you're not getting married, but she couldn't help thinking it anyway.
She moved in close beside them, looking through the window at the sleeping pink and blue bundles. "Which one is yours?"
Quinn looked appropriately confused. "What are you doing here?"
"I see her now." She smiled. "She looks like you."
"Finn said she looks like Puck. Sarah said she looks like your Ma." Quinn shrugged. "Maybe all of those things are true. She's a baby. I guess she looks like herself."
"She has a name," said Shelby.
"No," said Quinn, but Puck quickly said, "Beth."
Shelby nodded. "Elizabeth or Bethany?"
"Elizabeth. For Kurt's mom."
Quinn stared at Puck. "You didn't tell me that."
"I don't know about the middle name." He nodded at Shelby. "You got any thoughts?"
"Why are you asking her?" Quinn demanded.
Before any of them could say more, the nurse emerged from the viewing room, beckoning to Puck. He bent down and picked up his guitar case, following her inside. Quinn followed, hanging back by the door. Shelby remained outside the window. She could see Quinn demanding answers, the nurse shushing her, and Puck essentially ignoring both of them as he tuned his guitar. When he started to play, they all stopped talking.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I dreamed of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Shelby had heard enough of Puck's dream stories to know that it wasn't once, or twice, but almost nightly. He was smiling down at Beth in her bassinet like his dream had come true, right there in the maternity ward of the hospital. It made her heart ache a little to see it. She wasn't quite there yet, but based on the way she already felt about Beth, she was pretty sure it would happen, given time.
"That's a whole lot of pretty babies."
The woman beside her spoke in a dark, smoky tone. The beads on the ends of her braids—or were they dreadlocks?—hit the window as she leaned forward.
"They really are," Shelby agreed. She could hear Noah's gentle strumming through the glass. He really had a lovely voice.
"I don't think he has any idea what he's getting himself into."
Shelby looked at the woman more closely. "New fathers seldom do," she said slowly.
"Or mothers," the woman added. "Parenting can be treacherous. We don't realize how much it ends up being about us."
"I think that's probably the nature of the selfish human ego. But don't you think parenting is a fairly self-sacrificing act?"
The woman raised one fine eyebrow. "I would hope nothing we do ends up with us sacrificing our self. The self is fairly essential, and vulnerable to neglect. Just like children. Or like submissives like Puck, there."
"You know him," Shelby said. She felt the prickle of the woman's scrutiny. It wasn't a pleasant experience.
"I know your ex-husband, and his former partner. And his former partner's boy — who is in charge of Puck." Shelby watched her mouth tighten. "I know what you're planning to do, too."
"Is that right?" Shelby straightened up. "You've got me at a disadvantage, then, because I don't believe we've met."
"I only know you by reputation. You might know me the same way. I'm Irene Tibideaux."
She did not offer her hand. Shelby took a step back, feeling a wave of unease. "Why are you here, exactly?"
Irene's answer was even and calm. "I'm here to tell you, exactly, what will happen if you allow any of the people in this equation to be harmed by your selfishness and narrow perspective."
"Hey!" Shelby raised her hackles, glaring at Irene. "You have no idea how I care about these —"
"I know you," she interrupted. "I know how things usually go for you. You take what you want. But that's not how they are going to this time. Do you hear me? You'd better not be planning to hurt those boys." She narrowed her eyes. "Because if you do, you're going to have more than just Carl to answer to. You're going to answer to me."
The tales Shelby had heard about Irene over the past twenty years, coupled with the spectre she saw before her, were enough to convince her to take the warning seriously. But she stood her ground.
"Puck's trusting me with his daughter, for part of the time," she said. "I take that very seriously. And I would swear before you or anyone that my intentions here are only selfish in the sense that I want more than anything to give Beth everything she needs. A home. A family."
"Do you get, though, that this will never be your family?" Irene said softly. "This can't be your do-over. You don't get a say in what happens to her. If Puck changes his mind —"
"I wouldn't have done this at all if I thought Noah would change his mind." Through the window, she saw Puck notice Irene, tilting his head quizzically. He began to pack up his guitar. "I think you're going to have to talk to him about this."
"No," she said. "I'm going to talk to Finn. That's the way of things in our community. You know that."
"It's not my community," Shelby said.
"I know. But it's his, and his Top's. And you're going to have to get used to that if you're going to make this work." Irene eased away from the window, nodding at Shelby. "I'll be watching you. You can be sure of that."
"Is that a threat?" Shelby said, as Puck and Quinn emerged from the room.
"Yeah. That's exactly what it is." Irene turned to Puck. Her demeanor thawed somewhat, although she did not smile. "Congratulations, to both of you. You don't know me, but I know Carl and Finn. I'm the owner of the coffeehouse where they've been performing on Saturdays."
"Hey, wow!" Puck reached for Irene's hand, then apparently thought better of it and paused, his hand in the air, but Irene completed the gesture, taking his hand and shaking it once. "You're Irene."
"I'm here to pay my respects. You have a beautiful daughter there."
"Thanks," said Puck, beaming. "Her name's Beth."
"We're going to be leaving shortly," Quinn said. She still looked less than pleased with Puck. She touched the arm of the wheelchair that waited in the hallway. "Would you take me back to my room so I can get ready? I'm sure they'll never let me walk out of here under my own power."
"Carl and Finn are down the hall with Kurt and Carole," said Puck to Irene, helping Quinn into the chair. "If you wanna see them before we take off."
"Thank you," Irene said solemnly, walking beside the rolling chair. "There's nothing I want more than that."
