A/N: Come on, Liv is desperate, not dumb :-)
STAY
"Will you marry me, Alex Cabot?"
Alex stood frozen in the doorway, not understanding what was happening in front of her. Olivia quickly got up and walked inside the hotel room, shutting the door behind her.
"What are you doing?" Alex managed to get out.
"I love you, Alex…"
"I can't," Alex said.
"I know, and I'm not asking you right now," Olivia said. "I mean, I know I did. And God, I do want to marry you, Alex, but I know you can't say yes to me right now. I just…. fuck, I don't know. I wanted you to know how serious I am."
"Where did you even get that ring?"
"I've had it…for a while actually," Olivia said. "And I know we've talked about it, but were waiting until it was legal…but I just…I don't know, wanted to be ready."
"So you picked NOW?" Alex said. She ran her hands through her hair and walked back toward the window.
"Okay, forget the proposal," Olivia said. "When you left tonight, I just…I knew I was lost. And so I dug it out of my night stand and planned to come here and tell you how much I love you, how long I've loved you, and that I want to spend my life with
you."
"You don't think I don't want that, too?" Alex said.
"I know you do…or at least you did," Olivia said.
Alex closed her eyes and looked away.
"Baby, I deserved this. I screwed up and I may have lost the most important things in my life, you're right," Olivia said. "And I don't know how to explain how I felt when I felt Simon and why that is so important to me. I know you're my family. I really
do, I was just…I don't know."
Alex sat down on the bed.
"You're right, I don't understand how you feel. I can't. But Liv, I want to try. I want to support you, even when I don't understand exactly what you're going through," Alex said. "But you're so stubborn. You shut me out."
"I know," Olivia said. "I just wanted to…"
"Protect me, I know," Alex said.
"I know, you don't like it, but I can't help it, Alex," Olivia said. "You and the kids really are the most important thing to me in this life. If I have to never see Simon again, if that's what you want, I'll do it."
"Of course that's not what I want," Alex said. "I just want you to include us in that part of your life…and your decisions."
"Even if it could jeopardize your career?"
"Even if," Alex said. "Babe, I'm a good attorney and I know how to plead the 5th. But even if it meant giving up my career, my status in the bar, my Cabot family connections and money – for you, Olivia, I would do it."
"You just have so much to lose," Olivia said. "Why would you risk that for me?"
"Liv, if I don't have you, none of it matters," Alex said. "Why would you risk everything – your career, your family – for Simon?"
"It's a part of my life I've never had that I've always wanted," Olivia said. "It was just me and my mom growing up. No family to speak up. And just knowing I had a connection out there to that part of my life, it was like something I've been looking
for forever. Knowing who my father was. Maybe finding out why he raped my mother.
"And then I see how close you are with your family. I mean even with Adam, you have to admit, you'd do anything for him, even despite all the things he's done," Olivia continued.
"No, you're right," Alex said. "And I never considered my relationship with my family bothered you."
"It doesn't bother me. I love it. It just makes me wish I'd had that growing up," Olivia said.
Both sat across from each other in silence – Alex on the bed, Olivia in a chair.
"I don't know what to tell you," Alex said. "I don't know if I trust that you'll change."
"I know," Olivia said. "But I'm not letting you walk away from me again, not without doing everything in my power and exhausting every option for us to heal. If we can't make it then, then we can move on."
"Liv…"
"Please, Alex, give me one more chance," Olivia said, reaching out for Alex's hand, tears streaming down her face. "Please…"
"I…I don't…I don't know if I can," Alex said, tears also streaming from her face.
Olivia's face dropped, her look defeated.
"Okay," Olivia said. "I'll go…for now. But this isn't done. We're not done. But for right now, if you need time, space, I'll go, and I'll move out. You shouldn't have to because I failed you and the kids."
Alex looked away.
Olivia stood up, still holding Alex's hand.
"I love you, Alex, and I won't stop fighting for us," Olivia said, letting go of Alex's hand.
Olivia walked to the hotel room door, and turned back to look at Alex, who was sitting on the bed, still crying.
She turned back to the door and reached for the handle.
"Stay."
#
This time, it was Olivia's turn to freeze.
"Stay." She heard again.
Olivia turned around to see Alex looking up at her, desperate blue eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"No, but I don't care," Alex said.
Olivia stood, staring and uncertain what to do when there was a knock on the door.
"It's probably the wine I was expecting when you showed up," Alex explained.
Olivia checked the peephole, verifying who it was, and then opened the door.
"I'm sorry it's late, ma'am," the young man said quietly and shyly. "It just…uh, sounded like it was a bad time when I came a bit ago."
Olivia put her head down, embarrassed that he had heard them talking so passionately.
"No, I'm sorry," Olivia said. "Here." She handed him a $20 bill because she didn't have anything smaller in her pocket. "Thank you."
"Thank you, ma'am. Do you want me to bring it in?" He was holding a bottle, corkscrew and two wine glasses.
"Um, sure," Olivia said, moving out of the way.
"I know you said you only needed one glass, Ms. Cabot, but when I heard you … um, had a visitor, I thought…"
"Thank you," Alex said.
The young man sat everything down, opened the bottle and quickly exited the room, leaving Olivia and Alex alone.
"Wine?" Olivia offered.
"Yes, please," Alex said.
Olivia poured Alex a large glass and handed it to her, then poured herself one equally as large. She returned to the chair she had been sitting in by the desk when Alex got up and nodded toward the two cushioned chairs by the window. They both moved.
They both sipped their wine in silence for a while, trying to relax after the events of the night, and really, the past several weeks.
"This is nice," Alex said. "Just being here with you in total silence. I've missed you, Liv."
"I've missed you, Alex," Olivia said.
They didn't speak again for a few minutes and Alex quickly polished off her glass.
"I guess you like this wine," Olivia said smiling at how much fast Alex had drank her glass.
"You know, when I find one I like…"
"I know," Olivia laughed softly. "That reminds me of that weekend we stayed at the bed and breakfast. Our second night there when we had that wine you really liked with dinner. I thought I was going to have to carry you out for a bit."
"Oh yes," Alex said. "In my defense, it was a really good wine. You splurged for the really good stuff that night."
Alex paused.
"That was our first weekend away," Alex said. "When we were first dating and still sneaking around."
"Yeah, that was fun," Olivia said. "Things were much simpler when it was just you and me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love our kids, family and friends, but…"
"No, I know. We thought we had problems then," Alex chuckled. "So young…and in love."
"I'm still in love," Olivia said. "Maybe not so young, but I'm still in love with you, Alex. And even though it may not seem like it, I love you so much more today than I did back then. I had no idea how much I could love someone until you."
Alex put her glass of wine down and took Olivia's from her hand.
"Come to bed with me," Alex said.
"You sure?"
"Just hold me, Liv," Alex said. "I just want to remember what it feels like to have your arms around me. That's the kind of love and protection I need from you."
Olivia nodded and followed Alex.
Alex pushed the covers back and laid down. Olivia laid down beside her, still fully clothed and lightly put her arm around the blonde, uncertain of how much Alex actually wanted her to touch her.
Alex relaxed and moved closer so Olivia tightened her grip.
"We're gonna make it," Alex said. "We have to make it."
"I know," Olivia said. "We will."
Olivia leaned forward and kissed Alex on the forehead.
"I promise you, we will," Olivia said.
A/N: Some resolution for you...I'll have a wrap up chapter tomorrow, then we'll move on with the story into something else...
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