Dear Roseanne Barr,

I think you are extraordinary woman with an amazing mind who created some of the best characters TV has ever seen. Thank You for making Roseanne possible. It will always be one of my favorite shows and I hope that it remains in the hearts of the generations to come.

If you happen to be reading this, I appreciate you sticking with me through all these chapters and I hope that in your eyes I am doing a good job of sticking to the characters really well. It's important to me to keep the characters you created the way they were in the show and not change their personalities, convictions, dreams, hopes, desires, sense of humor and demeanor too much to fit my story. By changing them I would be ruining perfectly good works of fiction.

Sincerely,

Housekid93.

P.S.

Seasons 8 and 9 were horrible and Dan did not deserve to die. _

When the wedding reception was nearing an end, the bar tender had to fight Nana Mary in order to close the bar. "Listen Lady. I have to close up for the night. You're draining my stock…."

Nana Mary stood in front of the little window peaking in. "Listen mac, I was a nurse in War World War two. You're going to deny veteran booze?"

The bartender shook his head. "Thanks for serving the country and all but I really need to close." Acting fast the bartender slid the wooden slot closed leaving the very drunk Nana Mary blocked from the bar. Darlene and David came up from behind her.

"Get thrown out of the bar, grandma?" Darlene asked, hugging her great grandma loosely.

"Yeah, and it won't be the last time. Say what are you and your new hubby doing for a honey moon, Darlene?"

David looked at Darlene sort of embarrassed. Darlene talked, "Well we were just going to wait until the baby is born. Then we'd decide where to go for our honeymoon when he have more money."

Nana Mary looked at them both. Her long white dress with sequins seemed to define her odd and weird personality. "Isn't the bride's father supposed to handle that?"

Darlene absent mindedly fixed a strap of her dress on her shoulder as she spoke, "I don't feel right about leaving my dad alone right now, and I'm afraid leaving him alone with Becky will turn him into a drooling idiot from the radiation that she leaks."

Nana Mary smiled; it was obvious to everyone that she was drunk. Nana Mary put a hand on Darlene and David's shoulders, sandwiching herself between the married couple. "Listen I will make you a deal. You take this…" Nana Mary let them go and rifled through her purse and then pulled out five one hundred dollar bills. "And go on a honey moon. I'll stay with your dad."

Darlene looked at the money in her hand, yet David spoke. "Are you sure? This is a lot of money."

Nana Mary rubbed David's hair like he was a little kid. "Of course I'm sure. I'm drunk ain't I?"

The newlyweds looked at each other again Nana Mary was making no sense, "No we can't take this money from you. It'd be wrong." David said, thinking about the ethics of taking 500 dollars from a drunken old person.

But Darlene looked at the money and the evil angel invaded her brain and took it over. "Yeah, we can. She's my great grandma." Darlene quickly hugged her grandma and then grabbed David by the sleeve of his tux and pulled him away. David shook his head side to side, as now he was getting a taste of what his life would be like for the rest of his life.

A quick flash blinded Darlene and David. When their eyes readjusted to the light they saw Dan holding up a camera. "Well David if your marriage is going to be anything like mine what just happened there will be as normal to you as tying your shoe." Dan said half serious, half joking. The same thing had happened at his and Roseanne's wedding when Roseanne dragged Dan to the punch bowl and poured in some strong vodka. To an extremely hilarious result.

David laughed lightly. Darlene held up her money. "Dad, Nana Mary gave us her heritance in advanced." Darlene knew that her father was against her taking money from anyone unless it was a death or a holiday. This was her wedding but she still knew that this could very well tick him off, but surprisingly Dan just stood there blinking.

"Where are you going on your honey moon?" Dan asked sincerely to the surprise of everyone, as Jackie appeared with Jerry in her hands and Andy at her side holding her free hand.

David spoke while looking at Darlene. "There's some nice places in Chicago…"

Dan looked at David with a strange look Darlene didn't recognize. "Mrs. Conner and I honeymooned on my cousin's house boat. We took it off the shores of Lake Michigan…." Darlene cut her dad off knowing that he was taking a ride in the way back machine.

"Dad, there are a lot of things that interest me about you and mom's early years. However, Becky's conception is not one of them…"

Dan cocked his head, as Jackie just stood there awkwardly. She was actually interested to see how Dan countered that.

"What about your conception Darlene?" Dan asked wryly. Darlene rolled her eyes. David was increasingly uncomfortable and it showed. Dan took his wallet out and handed David a fifty dollar bill. "Here's money for gas, and whatever else you decide to blow it on…"

Like little kids Darlene and David held each other's hands and walked each other out the doors into the parking lot. While no one was looking DJ and Mark had decorated Darlene's car with the stereotypical "Just Married" paint and the ribbons attached to the back. They climbed in the decked out car and drove off, the ribbons flowing in the wind.

The whole wedding reception watched them and Becky came up from behind her dad. "Hey Beck. Barely saw you all night." Dan said, as Jerry reached out for him and Dan held out his arms so Jerry was switched from Jackie's arms to Dan's arms.

Becky's hair was down around her shoulder, and Dan figured that she took it out of the bun that it was in before. "I just talked to some people. Where are they going?" Becky said, lost in the action.

Jackie looked back at the road. The car had disappeared completely. "Their honeymoon." Now Andy wanted carried, He held up his hands and Jackie picked him up."

Becky nodded and then walked away. Bev joined Jackie and Dan. "Have you seen my purse?"

Jackie rolled her eyes in the way that Darlene had earlier. "Mother you are not driving. You're drunk."

"Nonsense, Jackie." Bev said, in a condescending sounding way.

Jackie scoured at her mother. "Mother, I seem to recall you going to jail for driving under the influence…" Dan walked away from this fight.

With Jerry asleep in his arms he walked to his dad, Crystal, Little Ed and "AJ". "You guys pulling out?" Dan asked, seeing that his brother and sister too were ready for bed.

Ed stood in front of the passenger side door of the car which was open behind him. He placed his elbow on the top of the car. "Yeah. The kids are ready for bed."

Dan shook his head showing that he understood. "Yeah. I need to get my little one to bed. Bye."

"Bye." Both Crystal and Ed said and then left. Crystal was driving so Dan figured his dad had more to drink than he thought.

Now he ventured over to where Mark was sitting on his tail gate, "Waiting for someone Mark?"

"Not really…"

Dan bent down slightly and got a better look at Mark's face. "Give me your keys, Mark."

Mark looked up at his now ex father in law. "I can drive." Mark said this but dug his keys from his pocket any way and handed them to Dan.

"We'll come back for your truck tomorrow." Mark nodded and jumped off his tailgate clumsily and then put the tail gate up with a bang. He followed Dan back into the building and they were approached by Nana Mary. "Dan. I'm leaving bye."

Dan watched the old lady leave knowing that she was in no condition to drive and also knowing that trying to stop her would be futile. Nana Mary walked, until she was stopped by her daughter.

"No mother if I can't drive you certainly can't drive." Bev said, icily.

Dan made his way to the group. He talked directly to Jackie, "I'll take your grandma. You can have your mom."

Jackie grabbed Dan's tux. "No, you see this is the woman that sent me to therapy."

Dan locked eyes with Jackie. "I was in a mental hospital."

Jackie saw that they were playing a game. "I shared a room with Roseanne for 17 years."

"24 years."

Jackie sighed. "I was injured in the line of duty as a cop."

Dan cocked his head and smiled, "You slept with Arnie…"

Jackie looked down. "Fine you take Nana Mary. You two are good for each other."

Dan walked away a victor he found DJ sitting on the steps with his camera in hand ready to go. "Let's go, Deej. Your brother is getting heavy."

Small chapter I know. Sorry. The next one will be better.