Chapter 52: The Bond
Severus woke to the feel of Hermione's hand in his hair. He opened his eyes groggily, but the thrum of her touch on his skin sent a shiver down his body. He moved, pulling her against him as the renewed relief of her being there filtered back through him. His hand combed her hair as his fingers gently brushed her scalp.
Hermione took in a deep breath as if to imprint his scent upon her memory, smashing her face against him. "Severus?" she mumbled his name into his shirt.
"Hrm?" Severus managed to articulate.
"What is this… between us?" Her voice was calm and sleepy.
A hundred different answers came with a hundred different definitions of "this," causing Severus to hesitate in guessing which one she was referring to.
"This," Hermione repeated. She took her hand and gently brushed her fingers into his hair. The forming bond resonated, sending a shiver down his back and his breath caught in his lungs.
Severus summoned the willpower to move in order to look her in the face. "I believe… it is a bond. Infantile as it is, but formed when we worked together mind to mind and now resonates with touch."
Hermione looked into his black eyes, sleepy but curious. "Is it permanent?"
Snape's eyes closed a moment. "Not yet. It may yet be stopped with disuse or… purposeful severance." He couldn't face her as he mentioned the intentional breaking of what had unintentionally formed.
"Does it pain you?" Hermione said, placing her fingers on his chin to guide his eyes back to hers. "To be bound to me?"
"Never," he replied. He was worried that she would repudiate the link out of loathing, yet she was concerned if it pained him to be bound to her. "It…" he struggled to put it into words. "It is very intimate."
"So it's not just me then," Hermione said with a shy smile.
Severus struggled to say what had to be said. "Hermione, if you wish this to end before it becomes… permanent, it would have to be done… soon."
Hermione's eyes widened at him, horror went across her face. Severus turned his gaze away, unable to face her rejection.
"Severus," she placed her hand to his cheek and drew it back towards her. "Why would I want to give up such a beautiful gift?"
"Because I am old," Severus voiced his doubts. "I am stubborn, set in my ways, slow to praise, and fast to rebuke. There are far better people out there than… being bound to me."
"Severus," Hermione brought both hands to his face, causing a tremor of the bond. "There is no one else I would rather be bound to. And you are not old. Old is like… four hundred and twenty-two."
"Four hundred," Severus began, "and twenty-two?"
"Yes," Hermione said with a blush. "Don't mock my choice in numbers. It's true."
Severus touched her face, his dark eyes meeting hers. "Are you sure you wish to be bound to an old, jaded war veteran?"
"As opposed to me?" Hermione countered. "Who is slightly younger jaded war veteran?" It was her turn to be doubtful of her own worth, and she turned from him. "I'm broken. There are pieces of me I don't even realize are missing until… I find myself thinking such horrible things. Horrible, unthinkable… unforgiveable things. I would understand if you didn't want to be reminded of that."
"Hermione," Severus interrupted her train of thought. "I would fight tooth and claw to keep you able to do… what you have already done. Sleep here. Peacefully. To do this," he said pulling her hand to his face, "and not cringe back in horror at what you see there or here." He tapped his finger to his head.
"I would stand by your side until we were both past… four hundred and twenty-two," Severus admitted. "Until the skies burn. If that is what you desired." His black eyes were haunted as he gazed down at her.
Hermione pulled his head down, pressing her lips against his in answer to his question, but at that moment, Severus couldn't remember what in Merlin's name the question was. In fact, he was quite willing to take his first zero on the failed recollection as his arms went around her waist and pulled her against him into an embrace.
