Chapter 53: September 1st, 1995, Hogwarts

I slept that night in Neville's bed from earlier in the summer; the other three made sure no one noticed, which wasn't hard since Neville and Harry had just shared a room. I then woke up early to make the train before anyone – especially one person – knew where I had slept. I was sitting in the dusty, creepy old kitchen, eating cereal, hoping that others would be up soon.

"Hey," a voice greeted. I felt my entire body seize up with pure fear; the spoon was shaking in my hand.

"Hey," I mumbled so quietly I knew it was almost imperceptible. I had to get out of there again – I had to run – I had to run now –

"Maggie! I didn't see you at the party!" I looked up to see Claire running towards me, "How are you? Elena said you were just awful back in Chicago – sorry, I'm sort of excited to go back to Hogwarts now that I'm not some lowly first year." She said all of this very fast. I quickly turned to her, relaxing immediately – at least I wasn't in a room alone with him anymore.

"You seem strangely upbeat," I said, though my voice was hoarse.

"I'm just… I dunno," Claire frowned, "Yeah. I'm just excited, like I said. I have a good feeling about this year."

"Your gut's been wrong before," Elena snorted, walking into the room and sitting on the other side of me, "Hey sis."

"Hey," I gave her a long hug, murmuring "I'm sorry" into her ear.

"Eh, don't worry about it. I'm the queen of crazy," Elena snorted, grabbing a piece of toast from the table, "Not really in a position to judge."

"Maggie!" I looked up to see Fred – he ran and hugged me too. I laughed weakly.

"Hey Fred," I greeted. He looked at me and I could still, distinctly, separate him from his brother in my mind.

"Good to see you – man, I've missed you. Sorry things have been tough," he frowned sadly.

"Thanks," I nodded, "I think it's going to be better going forward, though."

"That's the right attitude!" he cheered, clapping me on the back, "There's the Maggie I know and love."

I laughed weakly. I still didn't look at the other one, though I knew he had sat down at the table.

"You all are too loud," grunted Ron, coming down the stairs. He was also a friendly sight to see.

"Hey Maggie," he nodded, "Glad to see you back. Seriously, though, it's early, don't be prats."

"We have to get to King's Cross early, don't be an idiot," the other twin muttered in a corner. I didn't look at him; I didn't want to see his face.

"Is your sister here, Claire?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, she isn't happy about it, either. But my parents joined the Order, and I'm friends with Elena, so, well, she didn't have much of a choice," Claire explained.

"Maggie?" I looked up and saw Neville standing there. He looked terrified.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered quietly.

"Why wouldn't she be fine?" Elena asked worriedly, looking back and forth between us in terror.

"It's fine, really, Neville's being paranoid," I wrote off, getting up, "I should get my things." I walked past everyone up the stairs, but the pounding of my heart in my chest made me lean, anxiously, against the railing of the stairs.

"Mags," Neville murmured softly.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," I repeated, though my voice was shaking now.

"I'm sorry, I should have insisted we go down together," he murmured softly. The house creaked; though the others were still in the kitchen, talking.

"It's okay, it's hard to think of everything," I took a very long deep breath.

"Other people were around, though – nothing would have happened to you –"

"He came down first," I mumbled. The house creaked again. Neville looked at me in horror.

"It's okay. Nothing happened. Claire came down almost immediately afterwards. Let's just – let's just get ready to go, I just want to go," I muttered.

"Maggie…"

"Neville, come on!" I almost managed to shout, "I just want to get ready to leave!"

"Okay," he nodded, "Okay." We walked up the rest of the steps and I grabbed Albus and Darwin, piling them on top of my trunk. Neville wrapped his arms around me in a hug and I received it willingly, trying to not cry again.

"Guys," we looked up and saw Ginny, "Erm… sorry."

"No, it's okay," I pulled back from Neville and flushed madly, "What's up?"

"I was just coming to ask if you wanted to leave early. I think Harry and Hermione are almost ready to go, and Mum thinks it'll be easier if we go in two groups – so I offered to grab Claire and Elena and then have us all leave together. Then Fred, Ron, Luna, Sam, Valerie, and the great prat can all leave in a second group," Ginny explained.

"I do want to leave early," I nodded.

"I'm almost done packing," Neville turned and quickly grabbed the rest of his things from around the room.

"Great. You lot have transit cards, so you'll actually be able to not hold up any part of our journey," Ginny rolled her eyes, "I think your Mum is going to take us, Maggie."

"Won't your mum want to leave with you?" I asked softly.

"Nah, she's volunteered to take the second group, since the people who are going to be late would need a… stern-er hand. Your mum's fine," Ginny laughed.

"Alright," I nodded, "Then let's get going."

Claire and Elena grumbled about leaving so fast, but they came anyway, and Dad and Mum brought us off to King's Cross. First, though, we had to ride the tube from Grimmauld Place.

"Alright, you four, go on through – you three, we have to get you passes for the day, come on," Mum sighed.

"Ha, ha," Harry teased. Ginny stuck her tongue out at him in annoyance.

"Hurry up," Hermione muttered under her breath. Only I heard, and I patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Come on, let's swipe in," Neville sighed. We all went through to the train and the others soon followed behind us, all of us looking quite odd as we filed onto the train and took off towards King's Cross St. Pancras station.

"Alright everyone, get to the train now, we don't want to doddle," Mum urged. We went through the barrier, and the familiar smoke of the old train filled my lungs. I sighed, looking over at Neville, who rubbed my back comfortingly.

"Alright, bye kids – my kids, let me hug you," Mum ordered. I ran up to her and gave her a tight hug before turning to Dad and doing the same.

"You be good, kids," Dad instructed, smiling cheekily.

"Actually follow that order, please," Mum groaned.

"What are the odds of that?" Harry and I said in unison.

"Honestly," Mum rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Seriously, though, be careful," Dad paused, "Don't hesitate to write us or Padfoot if anything happens."

"Gotcha," Harry agreed.

"I promise to write every day," Elena urged.

"Good," Mum paused, "Goodbye." She had tears in her eyes.

"Bye, Mum!" Elena and I said in unison as Harry said, "Bye Aunt Melinda!" We then all climbed on the train after our friends.

We were very early; almost every compartment was open.

"I'm going to save a compartment for Luna and anyone who wants to join us," Ginny paused.

"Honestly, though, Neville and I need to go up front," Hermione admitted sheepishly.

"Why?" the rest of us asked in unison.

"Prefect stuff," Neville muttered sadly.

"It's okay, I'll be with her," Harry nodded.

"We'll come back when we're done, though!" Hermione reassured.

"We're going to go sit somewhere else. Maybe there will be some people who actually join us," Elena rolled her eyes, "At any rate, we shouldn't associate with you lot too much. See you later." She and Claire walked off with Hermione and Neville towards the front of the train. I looked at Harry and Ginny sadly.

"Let's get a compartment," Ginny stated firmly, "I told Luna she could sit with us – and then Sam, too, since he usually sits with her. Then we have two saved seats – that's plenty for a compartment, we can shoo the twins away easy."

"Alright," I muttered. We went and found an empty compartment and I sat down against the window; the last time I had been on this train, I hadn't been sure I would come back.

"This is surreal," Harry said my unspoken thoughts.

"Understatement," I muttered.

"At least there isn't a tournament this year," Ginny stated firmly, "It shouldn't be too bad."

"Wonder who they got for Defense," I commented dully.

"I hear Dumbledore had real trouble," Ginny frowned, "I mean, people think the job's jinxed, don't they?"

"Any whispers at Headquarters? Lord knows we haven't been there in ages," Harry asked.

"No, no whispers… well, one, but I'm not sure how valid it is," Ginny grimaced.

"What?" Harry and I asked in unison.

"Well, there was a decree, according to Dad, earlier in the summer. Says the Ministry can appoint professors if the Headmaster can't find one," Ginny growled, "Completely oversteps the Ministry's boundaries, I mean Hogwarts existed long before it – anyway, I think that means that the Ministry appointed someone."

"Oh no," I groaned.

"They can't be too bad, can they? I mean they have to teach, they're out in the open, they can't get away with something nefarious," Ginny interjected nervously.

"I don't trust anyone coming out of the Ministry," Harry shook his head, "Didn't the Order tell you they tried to kill us?"

"Oh yes," Ginny nodded, "I just… well… that was in the middle of the night, in the middle of London. Hogwarts is safer, still."

"You'd be surprised at how not-safe Hogwarts can be," I muttered, leaning against the wall. Ginny and Harry were stunned into silence, both with expressions on their faces that indicated they were horrified with themselves.

"Let's do something fun," Ginny declared finally, "Maggie, you have to take your mind off it, you said yourself –"

"Yeah, I know," I sighed, "What could we even do that's fun?"

"Dance around in a blood stone circle?" Sam asked, walking in. Luna was following him, and she closed the compartment door behind him.

"What d'you do that for, eh?" Sam asked her curiously.

"Well Neville and Hermione aren't here, and then they'll fill it up, won't they?" Luna clarified.

"True," Sam shrugged, "It's alright that we're here, yes?"

"Of course," the three of us answered in unison. Sam sat down across from me, staring out the window. Luna sat next to him, in between him and Harry. Ginny was somewhat squished between Harry and the wall.

"You do realize there's an entire side of the compartment right here next to me?" I laughed.

"Well you should sit next to Neville," Ginny offered.

"What's going on with you two, anyway?" Sam asked shrewdly.

"Nothing. He's been helping me recover," I responded honestly. Sam looked skeptical but didn't press the issue.

"Well, four people are going to have to be on one side regardless," Harry sighed. Luna pulled out a magazine and immediately held it upside down.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"Quibbler," she answered breathily, "There's an article this month that must be read upside-down."

"… Okay then," I frowned, looking back at Sam, "So about that blood stone circle idea…"

"Don't knock it till you try it," Sam snorted, "I mean, it's complete bull, but it's a muggle way of calling demons. We could use some demons on our side if you ask me, the other side has a surplus."

"We wouldn't really be the good side if we used demons," Ginny snorted.

"Good, bad, these are arbitrary labels, without historical context. We can't know who's good and who's bad till it's been about a thousand years," Sam rolled his eyes.

"Sam, Voldemort is pure evil," Harry looked at him in amusement, "Surely you know that."

"Of course, I know that, by the arbitrary standards set by our society, and thus that is how I will operate. But some people think the Ministry is good, where we think it is evil," Sam shrugged, "These are labels that none can truly understand until time has passed and the best course of events can be determined in hindsight."

"I really doubt the people who deny others their rights on a frequent and regular basis will be considered the good guys," I muttered.

"And I'm inclined to agree, but how could we know?" Sam shrugged, "We are limited to our perspective, from this time frame. We are limited to our worldview. Hitler thought that he was the good guy."

"Hitler?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"Muggle version of Voldemort," Sam, Harry and I answered in unison.

"How could there be a muggle version of Voldemort? His whole shtick is muggles are inferior," Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"Racism," Sam and I answered in unison again.

"He was obsessed with a 'pure German race,'" Harry scowled angrily, "Killed eleven million people, six million of those were Jewish people, cause he thought they were inferior."

"Bloody hell!" Ginny shouted in shock, "When did this happen?"

"Nineteen forties," Sam shrugged.

"That wasn't that long ago! Who let him get away with it?" Ginny demanded angrily.

"Idiots who didn't want to acknowledge another war was coming," I snorted.

"See, there had been a first huge war – World War I – where a lot of people died. Hitler was gathering up troops, strength, that sort of thing – conquering countries around Germany – and all the leaders at the time kept letting him, thinking that eventually he'd be satisfied and stop doing it, and they wouldn't have to have another world war," Sam explained, "Course, it didn't work, but still. Then everyone was busy fighting him and couldn't really get inside to rescue people."

"Also, didn't help that lots of people were – still are – racist against Jewish people. And the Romani people. And are prejudiced against Polish people – and the disabled – and gay people…" my voice trailed off in anger.

"Basically, Hitler might have been extreme, but a lot of people agreed with his basic premise of racism and hatred towards certain groups of people," Harry sighed.

Ginny's mouth was open in shock, "Do you think that could happen to us?"

"Well, there are fewer people in the UK than there are in the area Hitler targeted with his genocide," I frowned.

"But… something equivalently bad? Yeah," Sam groaned.

"And I'd like to point out the similarity in trying to deny the inevitable war," Harry grunted in annoyance.

"Bloody hell, the Ministry is a load of idiots!" Ginny sighed.

"Understatement of the century," I muttered.

"I can't believe… that that happened," Ginny groaned, putting her hands over her eyes, "How could everyone be so horrible to people just based on their ethnicity?"

"You would be amazingly surprised," Sam and I stated in unison. Harry snorted.

"Hello, two members of minority ethnic groups here," Sam began.

"And we are here to tell you that racism is alive and well even in the Wizarding World," I continued.

"The number of times I've been called 'Ching Chong' is kind of obscene," Sam grimaced angrily.

"I really hate jokes about how I am a savage!" I furthered.

"And it is loads of fun to be told to immigrate back home to my native country," Sam rolled his eyes.

"I do love being told that I am dirty because of the color of my skin," I pursed my lips together angrily.

"This doesn't just affect us! You can ask Hermione, who is often called a dirty Arab," Sam continued.

"And my sister, who looks very much white, is constantly being asked if she is adopted, or if she has a different father than I do," I sneered in hatred.

"Would be pretty odd if she did, seeing as we were on the run when she was conceived," Harry snorted.

"Well, we were in Chicago, in hiding, but yes," I sighed.

"And then you just have to ask one of the many other members of our lives – Angelina, Alicia, and Katie – for more perspectives on how wonderfully cheery wizards and witches can be," I smiled in a very fake manner.

"I'm sorry guys… I don't notice much," Ginny grimaced.

"Why would you?" Sam rolled his eyes.

"At any rate, let's not dwell on our corpse-strewn past. Let's celebrate our corpse-strewn future," I smirked cheerfully.

"You really shouldn't try summoning demons, you know," Luna stated airily from behind her magazine. We all looked at her in confusion.

"They can cause terrible back problems and turn your hair purple," she clarified, before going back to reading. We all looked at each other in wordless bemusement.

"At any rate, I'm willing to bet Voldemort has racism in his toolbox of hate, too," I sighed heavily.

"Probably sexism as well. I mean look at his Death Eaters – I was there – very few women," Harry snarled.

"Queerphobia? Anyone?" Ginny offered.

"Probably… also, you can't use that word," I frowned at her. She grinned cheekily.

"You, my friend, made most of your group of friends realize their true queer nature that day last year," Ginny laughed.

"Oh my god, do you have a label?" I asked eagerly.

"Just bisexual," she shrugged, "Still, it's nice to know."

"Of course," I laughed. Harry smirked in amusement.

"I'm willing to bet Voldemort wouldn't exactly be happy with LGBT folk," Harry paused, "But I think he's very focused on the anti-non pureblood wizards bit of his agenda."

"I kind of want to wave a whole bunch of queer stuff in his face," I paused, "Gay it up as much as possible."

"Take him to a pride parade?" Ginny offered.

"I can picture it now," I smirked in amusement.

"Voldemort, in rainbow robes," Sam snorted.

"Voldemort in a rainbow speedo!" Ginny giggled.

"Guys, none of you met the guy and saw him rise naked from a cauldron last year, this really isn't a pretty image," Harry groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"What isn't a pretty image?" Neville asked. He and Hermione were squeezing into the car, Neville immediately sitting next to me.

"Oh god, do not ask," Harry grunted into his hands.

"Alright then," Hermione frowned in amusement.

"Has the trolley gone by? I'm famished," Neville asked eagerly.

"Not yet, no," Ginny shook her head, "Man I feel squished.

"This is probably over maximum capacity," Hermione acknowledged, "There should really be six of us, not seven."

"Eh, who would we chuck out?" Harry shook his head.

"Good point," Hermione admitted.

"I could perch from the luggage rack," Sam offered.

"That would be amusing," I snorted.

"I'm going to try it," he declared, grabbing hold of the railing and pulling himself up. He managed to do it surprisingly easily, crouching on top of our trunks and grinning down at us.

"Now this is a view!"

Ginny was giggling uncontrollably.

"Alright, so tell us about the meeting," Harry rolled his eyes.

"Well there are two fifth-year prefects from each House, and you serve as prefect for two years," Hermione explained, "Seventh year you really just have Head Boy and Girl."

"Guess who is the prefect for Slytherin?" Neville muttered darkly.

"Fuck," I groaned.

"Yup. Malfoy," Neville grunted angrily, "And Pansy Parkinson is the girl one. Hufflepuff's Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbot, and Anthony Goldstein and Padma Patil are the ones for Ravenclaw."

"Of course," Sam groaned. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Are you… angry about this appointment?" Hermione asked, smirking.

"I mean, I wasn't going to get it, but Goldstein is a tool," Sam answered simply.

"We're supposed to patrol the corridors occasionally, and we can give out punishments to people for misbehaving," Hermione explained.

"I am going to get Crabbe and Goyle for something, mark my words," Neville muttered darkly.

"Neville, we talked about this –"

"Look, you really don't think Malfoy is going to pounce on Maggie and Harry the first chance he gets? I'm just fighting a war that was already declared," Neville shook his head in amusement.

"I don't see that war ending well!" Hermione sighed.

"Are you kidding? I'll make Crabbe do lines, it'll be freaking hilarious. And I'll make Goyle – I dunno, also do lines? They're both complete idiots, I'll be sure to punish them accordingly," Neville had a dreamy look on his face.

"You are going to get us into trouble for abusing your power!" Hermione hissed.

"Yeah, and Malfoy won't abuse his at all. Nope, I'm not letting him get away with any shite this time," Neville sneered.

"Language, Longbottom, or I'll have to write you up!" We all looked to see the door had opened and Malfoy was already sneering at us, Crabbe and Goyle standing sullenly behind him.

"Wow, this compartment is rather overcrowded. But you're used to that, eh, Weasley?" Malfoy laughed. Ginny hissed at him angrily.

"Careful! You could turn out like Johnson! She's verifiably insane!" Malfoy chortled.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Hermione muttered darkly.

"How does it feel to be second-best to Longbottom, Potter?" Malfoy asked, clutching his side with laughter.

"Oh fuck off," I snorted.

"I'm going to write you up for that one, Johnson!" Malfoy insisted, "I'd watch my back if I were you – never know when your privacy could be violated –"

"Get out!" Neville roared. Malfoy snorted and left, Crabbe and Goyle following him. He looked at me fearfully – as did Ginny, Hermione, and Harry. Sam looked confused, and Luna was still reading her magazine.

How could he know? I looked at Neville and shook my head quietly. I couldn't discuss this in front of Luna or Sam.

The train crawled on towards Hogwarts, the rain changing between clouds, sun, and rain so quickly it was like whiplash. I spent most of the ride staring out the window, quickly losing energy to talk to anyone.

"We should change," Hermione stated after a while. We all turned away from each other as we got into our uniforms, Hermione and Neville both carefully pinning their badges to their chests. Neville looked at his in complete disgust.

"Gran was pleased," he muttered quietly, as though to himself – as though he needed convincing that it was a good thing.

The train began to slow and we all made our way off of it, Neville and Hermione leaving to supervise everyone departing. I looked at Harry dejectedly.

"They won't be gone that much, come on," he soothed as we grabbed their things – including Neville's owl, Gretchen, and Crookshanks. We walked out into the night air and moved towards the edge of the platform – but there was no sign of Hagrid.

"Where is he?" I asked in worry.

"No idea," Ginny shook her head, "Come on, we have to keep moving."

We walked towards the horseless stagecoaches that would take us to the castle – but Harry and I both did a double take in shock.

The coaches were no longer horseless – they were harnessed to weird, black, reptilian like horses that were fleshless, with dragonish heads and pupil-less eyes. They had vast, black, leathery wings on their shoulders, and the animals looked eerie and sinister.

"Why'd they get rid of the… erm… why'd they add the horses?" I asked in confusion.

"What horses?" Neville asked; he and Hermione had run up to us.

"We can't all fit into a carriage – I'll go with Sam and Luna," Ginny said, "See you all at the feast." She and the other two left in the crowd as Harry dragged Neville, Hermione and me to a carriage.

"What horses?" Neville repeated.

"There are these weird horse things pulling the carriages now, can't you see them?" Harry asked in amazement.

"Er… no," Hermione looked at us both in worry.

"What?" I asked in surprise, "Mione, they're right there –"

"I can't see anything either," Neville frowned apologetically.

"But you both can?" Hermione asked.

Harry and I nodded in worry. Neville and Hermione shared terrified glances.

"Well, it's rare for two people to have identical hallucinations. Let's not worry about it," Hermione stated firmly.

"I hope Hagrid hasn't left again," Neville muttered sadly, clearly looking to change the subject.

"Yeah – why's that Grubbly-Plank woman here again?" I hissed angrily.

"Well he had a mission this summer, remember? Maybe he isn't back yet," Hermione responded reasonably.

"That's got to be it," I nodded eagerly. The carriages pulled up to the castle and we all bustled outside, wandering into the Great Hall and taking our seat at the Gryffindor Table.

Once again, I was overwhelmed with how different of a person I was. I held my head in my hands, feeling somewhat woozy. Neville wrapped his arm around my shoulder and soothed me quietly.

"Are you going to have a flashback – we should probably get you somewhere else – maybe you should eat in a different room –" Hermione rambled anxiously.

"No," I responded firmly, "I have to try and act as normal as possible."

"Drawing less attention to herself is a good thing," Harry reminded, "Remember? She's a violent maniac according to the Daily Prophet."

"If I start collapsing with flashbacks, they'll say I'm also an attention-seeking lunatic like Harry," I muttered angrily.

"Especially if there's a Ministry person here," Harry muttered darkly.

"Ministry person?" Hermione and Neville asked in unison. Harry filled them in on what Ginny had told us on the train as I continued to hold my head in my hands.

"That must be her," Hermione hissed. I looked up to see a woman dressed in a horrifically bright pink cardigan over her robes, which were also pink (but darker), a pink head band on her short, curly, brown hair, and a pale, toad like face and pouchy, prominent eyes.

"Who the fuck is that," I muttered irritably. I already didn't like her. Too much pink.

"No idea," Harry sighed, "Wish Aunt Melinda was here, she'd be able to tell us."

"Sadly, the Tournament is over, and she doesn't work at the Ministry anymore," I groaned, "No reason for her to be here."

"Professor Dumbledore will introduce her, he always does," Neville reassured.

The first years were all coming into the Great Hall and I sat back, sighing, looking around at the hall to try and get used to it again. I could feel my fingers twitching slightly in nervousness.

"Maggie, don't shift here, that would be terrible," Hermione hissed.

"I won't," I muttered, "I got this." I looked over at Neville for a short minute, which allowed me to calm down. Neville didn't notice.

The hat sang a very long, very foreboding song, that essentially told us that we all needed to work together in order to be safe – all the houses needed to band together now more than ever. It left me in a whirl of confusion, as the Hat had never given warnings before. We were sitting a ways off from the rest of the Gryffindors, at the back end of the table, with Ginny, Ron, and Fred forming a sort of barrier – unfortunately, the other twin was with them too. As such, none of us could ask anyone if this was normal behavior.

The students were now being sorted; I put my head in my hands and sat it out. Everything was extremely overwhelming for me.

"I dunno if I'll be able to sleep tonight no matter where I am," I muttered sadly.

"What do you want to do, then?" Neville asked quietly.

"What do you mean? I have to try," I groaned.

"I wish I could help more," Neville grimaced sadly.

"Trust me, you're already doing more than enough," I shook my head. I felt so antsy my hand went for the knives I had strewn about my belt – taking a leaf out of Ginny's book.

"No one's going to attack you," Harry murmured kindly from across the table. I nodded, but for some reason, I was not convinced.

"I'm just glad I can use magic to defend myself again," I muttered softly, "I need all the lines of defense I can get."

"Who do you think is going to attack you?" Hermione asked shrewdly.

"The Ministry lady, for one," I rolled my eyes.

"She has a point," Neville muttered.

"She won't attack us with Dumbledore here, surely –" Hermione hissed. But Dumbledore had stood up; the first-years were all sorted.

"To our newcomers," Dumbledore stretched his arms wide in welcome, "Welcome! To our old hands – welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

There was a laugh around the hall and I grabbed some food that had appeared up from the kitchens; I still ate very slowly, savoring every bite as though it would be my last.

"Maggie will never finish food first again," Ron commented.

"Don't be a prat, Ron, she was homeless," Ginny hissed.

"Food is delicious," I muttered softly. Neville rubbed my back comfortingly again. Except, it wasn't true that I would never finish food first again – my appetite had slowly been returning to something similar to normal since Neville had found me. But for some reason, being back at Hogwarts – having that woman sitting up at the table – with Hagrid gone, and the hat's song so foreboding, and those weird horses at the carriages that only I and Harry could see…

I felt like I was on the run again.

The back of my neck prickled nervously as I shivered at the thought.

Soon enough, everyone finished their food, and Dumbledore got to his feet. I was getting tired, and I hoped that McGonagall had found a way for me to be able to sleep through the night, without attracting attention to myself. It was all about being invisible…

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," Dumbledore began, "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students – and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too."

I snorted into my hand.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in the corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's door. We have two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"When is Hagrid getting back?" Harry hissed angrily.

"Umbridge… Harry, Mum has mentioned her before!" I muttered in worry.

"What did she say?" Hermione asked sharply.

"She's one of Fudge's cronies!" I groaned. Neville looked ill at the thought.

"Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the…" Dumbledore began, but he was cut off. Professor Umbridge had interrupted him – she had gotten to her feet, and was going to make a seat. Professor Dumbledore looked confused, but sat down politely.

I was growling very softly; my fingers were twitching.

"Maggie, count," the three urged me in unison. The other members of staff looked just as surprised – McGonagall looked furious. Most of the students looked amused – no one interrupted Dumbledore.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Umbridge began, "For those kind words of welcome." She had a high0pitched, breathy, and girlish voice that made me growl more.

"Fuck," Neville muttered.

She kept making these really annoying throat-clearing coughs – hem hem – that made me want to shift and bite her hand off.

"Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see happy little faces looking back at me!"

Everyone, however, looked shocked rather than happy – she was addressing us like babies.

"I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!"

Hermione practically snorted into her pudding. Umbridge cleared her throat again, but she now lost the girlish tone to her voice – sounding very businesslike.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts you with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching," Umbridge bowed to the other members of staff. McGonagall looked livid, and she and Sprout looked at each other for a long moment.

"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation, is required for the maintenance of order. It is important to recognize which changes are necessary for the functionality of our school, while others must be discouraged for the preservation of our traditions and knowledge. Furthermore, there is importance to be placed on looking into our own habits and practices, in addition to those of the school – we must work together to preen ourselves and each other, to make sure that there is no weakness present in our practices, so that we may be efficient and directed towards our main goal: education. It is important to focus on the fact that we are all aimed towards preparing ourselves for the important markers of education – examinations. Focus on these time-honored measurements, and not on detractors or distractors, must be maintained. It is also important to utilize tradition as a method of keeping on track towards the goal of good examination marks. Tradition, especially British Wizarding tradition, has held up to the test of time. Old ideas, entrenched in our society, have value for preserving it; our methods of innovation and research have brought such new inventions in magic like has never been seen before, and require no modification. It is important to note that, while foreign ideas and mindsets may seem attractive, it is important to recognize that the rules and regulations that have lead to our own standards here are placed for a reason, to maintain order and regularity to our practices of magic. These rules and regulations must thus be enforced here, at the baseline at which all wizards and witches enter Hogwarts, and none other; maintain the status quo, and keep order in how our society defines ourselves and each other, in order to preserve it. Where these rules have been let slack in the past, they must be enforced now; where there is discipline lacking, rules must be added. It is important to note that this change is not to be regarded entirely with fear or entirely with enthusiasm. Change is not something that can altogether be fully understood, because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practice that ought to be prohibited."

She sat down. I had broken my spoon in my hand with my anger. Hermione's fingernails had dug into the table. Neville had gritted his teeth in fury. Harry was hissing softly under his breath. Few of the professors clapped at Umbridge's speech; Dumbledore was one of the only ones. Most of the students themselves had fallen asleep during the speech itself; those were the ones who clapped now, but unenthusiastically, unaware that the speech had ended. Very few people seemed to have listened.

"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," Dumbledore bowed to Umbridge, "Now, as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held…"

"Yes, illuminating, that is a word I would use," Hermione muttered.

"Wait, you enjoyed that?" Ron asked next to us, "That was the dullest speech I've ever heard, and I grew up with Percy."

"I said illuminating, not enjoyable," Hermione shook her head, "It explained quite a bit, actually."

"It sounded like a load of waffle to me," Ron continued.

"There was important stuff hidden in the waffle," Hermione muttered grimly.

"Really?" Ron asked.

"Did you hear a word of that?" Neville grunted, "Seriously, Ron? The Ministry is going to interfere at Hogwarts. And it's going to be bad."

"It was practically like that speech was tailor made to target us," Harry hissed softly.

"Did you hear – she basically said 'witches and wizards, that's it.' I don't know whether that was against squibs – or muggles – or people like werewolves – or nonbinary people," Neville hissed.

"What's the term for a nonbinary magic user?" I asked softly. My hand was bleeding from the force of breaking the spoon, but I didn't really notice it much.

"Wix, plural is wixen," Neville muttered softly.

"How hard would it to be to add that?" Harry shook his head in annoyance.

"Neville!" Hermione suddenly gasped, "Neville, we have to guide the First Years!" The students around us appeared to be getting up and leaving; Dumbledore had dismissed us.

"Maggie, you're bleeding," Harry frowned as Neville followed Hermione to direct the first years.

"How is Neville going to remember the passwords? He's a Prefect, he actually needs to know them now," I muttered softly.

"Never mind that, you're bleeding, a lot," Harry hissed, "Come on, let's go."

"Where are we even going to go?" I muttered angrily, "No attention on me, remember?"

"Right," Harry groaned. People were pointing and whispering at us as they passed; I looked at him worriedly. He was holding his head in his hands.

"This isn't easy for me, either," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, "I've been so caught up in myself –"

"As you should be!" Harry agreed, "I'm not falling into flashbacks every minute – we have to find McGonagall."

"In this mess?" I shook my head disbelievingly.

"Well, where else will we look," Harry muttered darkly, "Come on."

We wandered up towards the front table; the staff members had all dispersed and McGonagall was nowhere to be found. We went back into the crowd and walked towards her office in a hurry, me having wrapped a napkin from the table around my hand.

"You broke that during her speech?" Harry asked.

"Yes. Did you hear her? The way she talked – I think she knows about – my mission," I hissed quietly.

"Or she doesn't want you doing your Gran's work with McGonagall," Harry offered, though he looked nervous.

"Either way – I have to lay low. I really, really have to," I groaned.

The students looked at us in fear as they passed us; the blood dripping from my hand couldn't have been helping. I groaned, leaning against a wall.

"Maggie, we shouldn't stay in one place," Harry frowned.

"I know, but I'm tired," I explained softly, "This really isn't easy for me."

"Course," Harry nodded, "I feel like I've been transported in time. Who was I the last time I was here?"

"I don't even know," I shook my head sadly, "I don't think I'm even close to being the same person."

"Probably not," Harry agreed.

I watched as a group of people walked by – Slytherins. They all snorted at me, whispering behind their hands and laughing. I reached for a knife at my belt, hissing quietly.

"Maggie?" Harry muttered, "Lay low."

I nodded, letting go of the knife.

We walked again, towards McGonagall's office. Harry knocked on the door, me clutching my bleeding hand tenderly. She quickly answered the door and rushed us in.

"Yes – it's good you're both here – I should go and get Granger and Longbottom," McGonagall declared, "Stay here – I'll be back in a moment." We sat in chairs in front of her desk; she had apparently not even noticed I was bleeding.

"The toad is going to meddle at Hogwarts," Harry muttered angrily.

"Then we have to meddle back," I muttered.

"Laying low?" Harry repeated.

"While laying low," I acknowledged.

McGonagall came back in then, Neville and Hermione with her. They sat down and she went back to her desk.

"I assume you all listened to Umbridge's speech?" McGonagall asked.

We all nodded in unison.

"Good, then you know what's at stake," McGonagall asked, "Neville – I'm aware of your epiphany."

"What – how –"

"When I tried to name you the male prefect for your year, there was some… issues, since it's a magical process. See, the magic at hand said you were 'invalid.' I looked into it – apparently Hogwarts will throw you in whatever dormitory matches your assigned gender at birth, but from that point on if you have a gender identity other than male or female, you will run into problems with some of the processes here," McGonagall paused, "May I ask what your identity is?"

"Agender," Neville muttered quietly.

"Alright," McGonagall nodded, "I'm sorry – I had assumed your friends knew –"

"Of course they do," Neville sighed, "I'm just… upset that I was found out."

"Only Dumbledore and I know, now, but Umbridge's wording can't be pure coincidence," McGonagall scowled, "You have to lay low, do you understand? I'm so sorry – but if you don't stay in the closet, there will be a lot of hell raining down on all of our heads –"

'I figured. I wasn't going to come out," Neville sighed.

"Good. I tricked up the system to make sure you could be Prefect. Now, the rest of you – it's important that you try and be as quiet as possible. I know this isn't going to work out – I know already this. But I have to say it now. Umbridge is here to take over. That is her ultimate goal, and we have to fight against that in any way we can," McGonagall explained, "But without getting thrown out in the process."

"How will she take over?" Hermione asked sharply.

"Slowly, by undermining Professor Dumbledore's authority. It is in all of your best interests to try and not agitate her more than you have to," McGonagall looked at me and Harry very sternly until we nodded.

"It's a lost cause, but hopefully by going in with that mindset you won't do too much damage. Now, Neville and Maggie – your arrangement – I've created a room next to my office. You are allowed to stay there. Dumbledore is aware. You have to be discrete; you have to be quiet, and Neville you cannot slack on your duties as Prefect. You have to try and avoid notice by both… Mr. Weasley," the vitriol in McGonagall's tone was palpable, "And Umbridge. Do you understand?"

Neville and I nodded in unison.

"Good. Harry, Hermione, you have to help them. You all have to work together to make sure that certain things – Hermione's intense knowledge of the power structures of Wizarding Law; Harry's angry-toned PTSD; Maggie's flashback-filled PTSD; and Neville's gender identity – remain hidden from Umbridge. Any one of those things she will use to get you kicked out of Hogwarts – or she'll try her hardest to do so," McGonagall explained.

We all nodded again.

"Good. Hermione, we will resume lessons on Tuesday. Maggie, we should start our work tomorrow; with Umbridge acting like she is, I don't want to waste any time. I'll bring you two to your room; Harry, Hermione, get to the Common Room," McGonagall ordered. We all departed her office and she led us to a small room, almost hidden – the door just looked like a broom closet.

"To get inside, the password – for now, I will change it – is Draco prima. It'll change frequently, I'll be sure to inform one of you at all times. You just say it to the door and it'll open," McGonagall explained.

"Alright," Neville nodded.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Of course," McGonagall reassured, "I promised, didn't I? Good night." She left, and we entered the room. It was small – just a bed, fireplace, dressers, and a door that presumably led to a bathroom. I turned to Neville in worry, tears flowing from my eyes. He pulled me immediately into a long, tight hug, which I did not leave until I realized I was so tired that I would collapse then and there.

AN: PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks!